Okay, I lied!

The Guidelines are not ending anytime soon!
Not that anyone is complaining!

I am afraid my beloved beta fish, Ninja, is sickly with a fishy disease called Fin Rot...which is thankfully very treatable but I can't help but blame myself of not spotting it sooner.

So hopefully he will make it...

But anyway, onto more rules!

Enjoy!

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The Guidelines for living with Giant Alien Robots!

By Tatyana Witwicky

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Rule #260: Never challenge any of the mechs or femmes to Are you smarter than a fifth grader?.

(Dad...yes.)

(Barricade...yes.)

(Ironhide...yes.)

(Ratchet...yes.)

(Hound...yes.)

(Perceptor...definitely yes.)

(Cliffjumper...sort of.)

(Sideswipe and Sunstreaker...shockingly, yes.)

(Bumblebee...kind of.)

(Jazz...sure.)

(Mudflap and Skids...not even close.)

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Rule #261: Never apply make-up in the car.

(I spilled glitter all over Dad's seats.)

(He was very unhappy.)

(Mascara stains quite horribly.)

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Rule #262: Never threaten to kill Sam...even if you are joking.

(You will have Bumblebee's cannon in your face faster than you can blink.)

(He still won't let me near Sam.)

(Stupid Sam still won't stop smirking in my direction.)

(He said I looked scared enough too pee myself.)

(I was so not that scared.)

(Excuse me while I go get some other pants.)

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Rule #263: Never play the Llama song over and over and over again.

(All music players were confiscated until further notice.)

(I threw a brick at Skids.)

(Ironhide threw Skids.)

(Where you may ask?)

(Out the window.)

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Rule #264: Never let Wheeljack watch Jimmy Neutron.

(Do I really need to explain this one?)

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Rule #265: No singing any of Fantasyaddict101's Christmas jingles.

(Although they are fraggin' hilarious!)

('O Megatron, O Megatron...how wimpy is your blaster?')

(That is now the personal favorite of Dads.)

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Rule #266: Wheeljack is no longer allowed near Psyche without supervision.

(My poor dog.)

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Rule #267: When calling Leo, Miles, Sharsky, Fassbinder, or Sam..never decide to act out your favorite line from Robot Chicken Star Wars special.

('Now get your 7'2" Asthmatic ass back here! Or I'm going to tell everyone what a whiny bitch you turned into about Padamey or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name was!')

(That got a few stares.)

(Jazz and Bumblebee got it.)

(The others not so much.)

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Rule #268: Never quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

('Bring out your dead!')

('It's just a flesh wound!')

(Shockingly, Dad likes that movie.)

(He laughed.)

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Rule #269: Never suddenly exclaim: 'I WANT TO BE MEGATRON/STARSCREAM/SOUNDWAVE'S 'FACING SLAVE!!'

(Even if you are just kidding.)

(I was immediately swept away to the Medbay by the Ratchet and he ran a thousand scans.)

(Jazz owes me so big for that one.)

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Rule #270: Do not call Prowl a prick within his hearing range.

(Unless you want to wash Cybertronian size toilets.)

(And here I thought those were just rumors.)

(How wrong was I!)

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Rule #271: Never quote Larry the cable guy.

*I'd be madder than a two fingered cripple trying to return a text message!'
*'My brother was eliminated from the spelling bee. Apparently there is no eight in the words 'Pollinate.'
*'I was madder than a skinhead watching The Jeffersons.'

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Rule #272: Never quote anything from The Big Bang Theory. Especially the dialogue between Sheldon and Leonard.

(Bumblebee and Barricade have taken to calling me and Sam by those names.)

(Take a guess who's who.)

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Rule #273: Never give any of the Bots nerf guns.

(Those can't really hurt you.)

(Skids and Mudflap don't clean up the darts after playing with them.)

(I shot one at Ratchet.)

(It stuck to his aft.)

(Attack of the flying wrenches!)

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Rule #274: Never put bumper sticks on Autobots.

(Not even the funny, witty ones.)

(My favorite one was 'Bad cop, No Donut!' that Fassbinder placed on Barricade when he was recharging.)

(He runs very fast when being shot at.)

(It's still there!)

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Rule #275: Never start singing, 'Bella notte', whenever you see Ironhide and Chromia.

(She can be really scary.)

(No wonder Ironhide likes her.)

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Rule #276: Never let Jazz watch Camp Rock.

(Curse you Mikaela!)

(Jazz, Mudlfap and Skids wanted to learn how to sing.)

(Dad, Ironhide, and Barricade said, 'No way in the Pit!')

(Jazz actually pouted!)

(He's so cute when he pouts!)

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Rule #277: Never make up names for your bra. (Me, Mikaela.)

Such as:
*Nip ups!
*Milk Duds.
*Flat and flabby.
* Pulley boys!

(That will really confuse them.)

(Or alarm them.)

(Either way it's funny.)

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Rule #278: Never start singing, 'Pants on the ground!'

(But it feels good!)

(Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground, giddyup!)

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Rule #279: There is no life on Pandora...there is no Pandora!

(So Wheeljack, stop making preparations to go find it!)

(No Sunny, I don't think the women there will fall in love with you!)

(Yellow is so not there color.)

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Rule #280: Never quote Jeff Dunham. Even though he is a comic genius!

*'Silence! I kill you!' (My personal quote whenever I have to deal with the twins.)
*Watching Nascar and drinking beer!'
*'I just stood outside of the IRS building and flipped them off!'
*'Welcome to Wal-Mart! Get your shit and get out!' (Sam and I personal motto when shopping at Wal-Mart!)

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Rule #281: 'It's not Porn! It's a cartoon!'

(Hentai is very amusing.)

(I thought so anyway.)

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Rule #282: Whenever there is a Decepticon attack, never respond with the following.

*'We are so screwed!'
* 'I can't die! I'm still a virgin!' (Glen.)
* 'We better start praying to Primus...not even God will help us!'
* We're fucked! We are fucked!'
* 'I call shot gun!'
* 'Quick! Find a virgin to sacrifice!!' (Sunny.)(Glen ran screaming.)

(Dad said his processor hurt...very bad.)

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Hahahaha yess!!

More Rules!!

This story is not going to end for some time!!!

More rule ideas are welcome!!

Review!