CHAPTER 11:

WHO'S NICHOLAS FLAMEL?

Being of the adventurous type, shortly after Sirius Black returned to St Mungo's, and relative sanity had descended on Hogwarts, Harry decided to take the Invisibility Cloak out for a spin, late one night just before New Year's Eve. He didn't tell Hermione: while they loved discussing scientific research, Hermione was also very much a stickler for the rules. In Aperture, however, rules were made to be not broken, but rather, immersed in liquid nitrogen and then shattered with a bat of some kind. A cricket bat seemed most likely: it had a nice flat surface that, when wielded right (albeit in contravention to the manifold and incomprehensible rules of cricket), came down on something like the hammer of God. Though the Beater's Bat in Quidditch certainly had a nice heft to it, like a baseball bat, only with more potential for personal injury.

His first port of call was to the infamous sealed corridor Dumbledore had announced at the start of the year. It was locked, but a simple Alohamora spell fixed that, and he peeked inside. He resisted the urge to whistle in impressment until after he had closed and locked the door again. They had a Cerberus! What a fascinating creature. A three-headed dog. He was willing to bet money on the fact that Hagrid had something to do with the dog: during his meetings with the man, Harry knew that he had a fascination with dangerous creatures in the same way that GLaDOS had a fascination with dangerous testing. Hagrid really wanted a dragon. So did GLaDOS, once she realised they existed. Indeed, she had asked Harry to ask Ron for contact details for his brother Charlie. So far, they were in the middle of serious negotiations. Unlike Hagrid, GLaDOS had money, a facility that could contain a dragon easily, and an appreciation of the dangers of raising a dragon. Most of the negotiations were to do with importing a dragon into the United States covertly, no mean feat, especially as the recent terrorist attacks on September 11(1) closed down many ways (most of them mundane) the wizards used to ferry goods covertly between countries.

In any case, Harry knew he would not be returning to the Cerberus anytime soon. Not unless he had some meat or something. He did notice one thing, though. The Cerberus was practically on top of a trapdoor or hatch of some kind. And Harry wouldn't be surprised if said trapdoor led to something that was being guarded. But what?

He decided, on a whim, to head to the library, wondering whether he could get into the Restricted Section. But along the way, he noticed a classroom with the door ajar. Curiosity led him to enter the room, and he found that the desks and chairs had been cleared away. Standing prominently in the middle was an ornate mirror, with a strange inscription at the top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. Gibberish, and yet, something about those words, those letters, meant something to him.

He looked in the mirror, and saw his reflection surrounded by his family and friends. Hermione, Ron, Neville, Marietta, Cho, the Weasley twins, and there was GLaDOS, Chell, Rattmann, Wheatley, Atlas, P-Body, Sirius…

And Harry was holding up some new invention or other, one he was sure would have been the pinnacle of everything Aperture had ever invented.

He blinked, then looked at the inscription again. 'Erised'…wasn't that 'desire' spelt backwards? Out loud, quietly, he muttered, as he reversed the letters and put them back into coherent words, "I show…not…your face…but your…heart's desire."

"Indeed."

The sudden voice from behind him caused Harry to leap into the air before whirling to face the source of the voice. Harry suppressed a yelp of fright with difficulty, but he was probably in enough trouble as it was already. There, sitting on an upturned bin like it was a stool was Dumbledore. Harry could have sworn that corner was empty when he came in, but then, he remembered that there were other ways of becoming invisible than just the Invisibility Cloak. Like Disillusionment Charms.

"Professor Dumbledore," Harry said. Then, after a moment, he added, "Must be boring, sitting there, waiting for people to look into the mirror."

Dumbledore pulled out a printed sheaf of papers. "I have reading material, and these glasses help me read in the dark without any strain, if need be. This is one of your great-aunt's monographs on magic, derived from observations and experiments on you. It makes fascinating reading, though I have the feeling these are based on the more benign experiments. In any case, it seems that you, like so many others, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."

"Dubious delights," Harry said. "It basically shows you what you desire most, as an illusion, doesn't it?"

Dumbledore nodded sagely, walking over to the Mirror of Erised. "Indeed. The most content and happy man in the world would see only himself in the mirror. It shows the deepest, most desperate desire of your heart. I saw your desire, actually. So close to what reality is. You desire family and friends, and to achieve great things."

"It's still not very nice. All those illusions…"

"True enough. The Mirror gives neither knowledge nor truth. At best, it may give you insight. But many a man has wasted away before it, entranced by what they see, or else driven mad, unable to discern whether it is reality or possibility. As you don't seem to like the Mirror, you'd be pleased to know it will be moved to a new home. I know you don't want to seek it out, but I would ask that you don't regardless. At least now you are prepared, should you ever come across it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, and thus forget to live. Now, why don't you put that admirable Cloak back on, and head off back to bed?"

Harry nodded, before he frowned. "Did you give me the Cloak?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed. Your father, James Potter, gave it to me to help with saving those attacked by Voldemort and his followers, the Death Eaters. As your family and their hideout was under the Fidelius Charm, we thought it unnecessary for him to keep it for the time being. Sadly, we were gravely mistaken. Even I was fooled by what Pettigrew did, and in my grief for your parents' demise, I failed to look deeply enough into what happened when Sirius Black confronted Pettigrew. Even someone proclaimed to be as wise as I can fall prey to prejudice and foolishness," he concluded sadly. "The Cloak belongs to you now. Your father would have wanted you to have it. But try not to get into trouble with it, hmm?"

Harry nodded solemnly. "Oh, and one last question? I'm sorry if it's a bit personal, but what do you see in the Mirror?"

"I see myself holding a pair of thick woollen socks. One can never have enough socks, and yet, Christmas has come and gone, and yet, I have not received a single sock. People insist on giving me books."

Harry looked askance at his Headmaster, before saying, "Nothing wrong with a good book, sir."

"Not at all, and I thank you for your gift of sherbet lemons as well," Dumbledore said with a smile. "My supply was running a little low."

Harry nodded, but as he bid farewell to Dumbledore, and snuck back to the Ravenclaw dorms, he had the feeling that Dumbledore had not told the truth. It was a personal question, but even so, something about Dumbledore's rather facile answer rankled with Harry. Whose deepest desire would be socks, after all?


In Malfoy Manor, Dobby sneezed, and wished that his master, Lucius Malfoy, would give him socks in order to free him…


It wasn't long afterwards that Harry, quite by accident, learned a clue as to what the Cerberus was guarding. He, Hermione, Ron and Neville had gone to Hagrid's home to talk and have tea. After a while, Harry bought up the subject of other animals that Hagrid took care of other than Fang, his massive boarhound.

"Ah, well, there's the Hippogriffs, proud beasties they are," Hagrid said. "And then, there's the Thestrals…"

Harry frowned, having read about them. "Those are those horse-like creatures you only see if you've seen and comprehended the death of someone, right?"

Hagrid nodded. "We have the Thestrals pull the carriages up t' the school fer everyone but the firsties. And then there's Fluffy…bought him off a Greek chappy."

"What sort of animal is he?" Harry prompted.

"Oh, he's a Cerberus. Got him guardin' the…" Hagrid then stopped himself. "Never mind 'bout that. Nothin' for you kids to worry about. That's between me, Dumbledore, and Nicholas Flamel." He then winced as he realised what he had said.

Harry managed to keep quiet about the matter to Hagrid, but as they left, he and Hermione resolved to research Nicholas Flamel, if only out of curiosity. Both of them were pretty sure they had heard the name somewhere before, and it was when they went to the library that Harry realised where.


Hermione facepalmed in annoyance as Harry brought the heavy book on alchemy over to the reading table in the library. "Of course. I was going to read this book. I've read some texts on alchemy before I came to Hogwarts."

Harry nodded, opening the book. "I got some texts myself, a few for GLaDOS, when we first went to Diagon Alley. Actually, I think she was curious about corresponding with Flamel, if only to find out how immortal he really was."

"Considering he's the only known creator of the Philosopher's Stone, it's not surprising," Hermione said, peering at the book. "It can transmute any metal into gold, and create the Elixir of Life. Immortality in a bottle."

Harry frowned. Transmuting metals into gold wasn't that impressive nowadays, as you could do that, to a degree, with a nuclear reactor(2), though you could only do it with mercury or platinum, another valuable metal. Immortality was more impressive, in his opinion, especially as gold transmutation would screw up the economy if abused. "So what would Flamel have at Hogwarts? What would he trust Dumbledore with? The Stone itself? A stash of Elixir? And Fluffy the Cerberus can't be the only protection." After a moment, Harry quietly confided in Hermione, who looked scandalised that Harry had broken the rules. However, he pointed out that, once he saw what was behind the forbidden door, he had left it, and locked it behind him. He may have had an unusual sense of what risk entailed, having grown up in Aperture, but even in Aperture, tests were never undertaken without the right tools used to overcome them, and it was merely curiosity that had led him there.

Mollified a little, Hermione speculated, "They must've used an Expansion Charm or something on the rooms below, so that it wouldn't impinge on the second floor. And if it is something valuable like the Stone, it'd have multiple protections."

"Yeah, but why not store it at Gringotts?" Harry said. "Professor McGonagall said Gringotts was one of the safest places in all of Magical Britain, and only Hogwarts, with all its wards and things, rivalled it."

"Remember that newspaper article?" Hermione pointed out. "When we first met Hagrid for tea, he had a clipping of that break-in at Gringotts. Someone clearly wanted something desperately enough to try and break in. And why would Hagrid have such a newspaper clipping? It's a bit too coincidental, really."

"Then it may very well be the Stone," Harry muttered. "Which begs the question, why bring it to Hogwarts?" After a moment, he thought of something. He fished around in his pocket for his spare Chocolate Frog Cards, which he kept on him in case he found someone to swap them with. One of them was Dumbledore, and when he looked at the info on the back, he said, "Well, there's a link here. Dumbledore and Flamel, according to this card, are friends. So Flamel must trust Dumbledore to some degree." Harry shook his head, tapping the book. "Flamel probably trusts Dumbledore enough to keep it safe here. Or maybe there's something else going on. I don't know. What did Sherlock Holmes say? Don't theorise ahead of the facts. If we see anyone acting suspicious, we'll just have to let Professor Flitwick or Dumbledore know."

Hermione nodded. "As long as you don't do anything to get us killed. Or worse, expelled."

"Hey, if you get expelled, we can have you do an internship at Aperture," Harry said with a grin. "You'll learn a lot while working there, I guarantee that!"

"Assuming I don't die," Hermione muttered forlornly.

"Hermione, being at the cutting edge of science is always dangerous," Harry said with a smile that was meant to be reassuring. Judging by the way Hermione shied away from him a little, she seemed to think it was more like that of a vampire about to go for her throat…

CHAPTER 11 ANNOTATIONS:

I'm surprised at how quickly I managed to squeeze this one out. Whether you get another one before long, I dunno. Hope you liked it.

This is apparently one of my most popular fanfics. In terms of C2s and favourites, it's second only to In Spite of Obstinate Men, and third on the alerts list (below In Spite of Obstinate Men and its sequel In Spite of Appearances). Views-wise, it's fifth.

As there aren't really any reviews I feel like answering, I will take a moment to pimp…I mean, tout some of my other fanfics, especially for those of you new to my fanfics, and who might want more. For those of you looking for a Harry Potter crossover like this one with some humour, try Newport Mage (a crossover with Ghost in the Shell, and which will be updated along with this story), Nitimur in Vetitum (a crossover with Final Fantasy XII), and Truth and Consequences (a crossover with Fullmetal Alchemist). For more potential Harry/Hermione, plus Harry getting adopted by another mad scientist who used to be human, try Henry Ashford and the Goblet of Fire (a crossover with Resident Evil). For more comedy (not Harry Potter-related), try Final Fantasy VI: The Abridged Series, The UNIT Bulletin Board (Doctor Who's classic series made zany), and my Borderlands self-insert series The Ballad of Ricky and Angel, which has two completed stories so far: Hooked on a Feeling and You've Got to Hide Your Love Away. All of the above are rated M, though.

1. Given that this is set in 2001/2002, it's not unreasonable to discuss 9/11 in passing, and mentioning one of the possible impacts on the Wizarding World. I'd imagine it was easier for wizards and witches to get things sent through prior to 9/11.

2. No, really, this is actually a thing. Admittedly, the gold would probably be radioactive, but it is possible to turn other metals into gold. Apparently one needs to use mercury or platinum, the latter of which is also a precious metal. Bismuth can also be used, but it's an extremely expensive process, more than normal nuclear transmutation. And, in an anecdote worthy of Aperture, upon realising that thorium changed into radium, Frederick Soddy shouted in surprise to Ernest Rutherford that radioactive decay was, effectively, transmutation. Upon which Rutherford snapped, "For Christ's sake, Soddy, don't call it transmutation. They'll have our heads off as alchemists!" Ironically, turning gold into lead is easier through nuclear transmutation than the reverse.