From the thirty-seventh journal of Gwen Fireheart, written some time after January 10th (the 14th?), while on the run from Levi:

I screwed up terribly. I potentially lost my position on the military, my boyfriend most likely can't look at me anymore, and I'd finally, utterly, surrendered to my darkness in my heart and let death take over. I'm a wreck, so far from civilization, I might even be close to the Walls, so I can just leave and die already. The irony, my own contemplation of my death, when it's ordained, regardless of what I do. I so wish I had never made that stupid wish now, so I can die now, but then… there's Eren. Everything always seems to go back to him. I miss his arms around me, the way my old name comes out of his mouth, his sweet, soft, sure lips, his wide, emerald green eyes when he looks at me, worried and scared… Someone's coming. I must go for now, see who it is. Farewell for now, dear journal, which has been with me through everything.