Title: Vertigo (12/13)

Author: Icicle33

Pairing(s): Severus/Draco, past Severus/Lily

Summary: I thought that I would never feel again, not after losing her. But something about him, about this insane yet beautiful boy, has awakened feelings deep within me that I thought were long dead.

Word Count: ~23K total

Rating: M

Warnings: refer to chapter 1 for all warnings.

Author's Notes: This chapter includes m/m smut. If that is not your thing, then don't read.

Enjoy!


. 12 .

I change into those same silk pyjamas, which I haven't worn in weeks and lie in bed, book in hand. If this will be my last night on earth, then I decide that there are worse ways to spend it than reading. The few accomplishments in my life that I'm proud of all involve academics. My work and research have made me happy, or as happy as one can be with a half a soul.

Weeks have passed since I last read for pleasure. My nights are restless, always jumping into bed and extinguishing the lights as quickly as possible, so I don't have to look at his face.

Advanced Potion Making for the Experimental Chemist: the book is fascinating. The author's a Muggle-born, who has integrated his knowledge of Muggle Chemistry in experimental application to Potion making. He uses it to redefine and reverse magical reactions that were thought to be irreversible and also to shorten the preparation and brewing time by incorporating the use of catalysts, both Muggle and magical, into various reactions.

Giving another Potion's Master credit is a rare occurrence for me. Naturally, I always prefer my own methods since they are tried and true, but I have to admit that the research and arguments in this book are flawless. If somehow I survive this blasted war, I'll be certain to incorporate at least some of these techniques into my work. The idea of catalysts and shortened brewing times is so remarkable and useful that it could revolutionise the field of potion making forever. If only, I had been the one to come up with it.

Time gets away from me. I don't know how long I sit there, engrossed in my book, lost from the rest of the world, but a soft voice pulls me out of my concentration bubble.

"Severus."

I look up and Draco stands in front of the bed; his cheeks are flushed, pupils dilated, and hair mussed. It appears that I'm not the only one who imbibed too much to drink with dinner.

"Mr Malfoy." I nod my head in greeting and then lower it, returning to my book.

"Draco," he corrects. "I hate when you call me, Mr Malfoy. We're not in school in anymore."

I pull my lips into a tight scowl and avoid his eyes. They're shining brightly, so full of life that I can feel a familiar heat stirring in my groin.

"Very Well."

"What are you doing?"

If I had doubts before, they've been erased. Draco is intoxicated, beyond pissed. He flops himself on the bed next to me, and leans his head over my shoulder to peer at the book.

I snap the book shut and shuffle further away, having his hot breath next to my ear is too overwhelming.

"Is there something you need?"

Draco doesn't catch my icy tone and instead shuffles closer. He has the audacity to rest his head on my lap. For some daft reason, I let him.

"Yes," he says coolly. "Look what I borrowed from the kitchens." He pulls out an almost full bottle of firewhiskey from behind his back. How did I miss it? Perhaps because I'm too busy looking at those flushed cheeks, the small beads of sweat that are accumulating on his forehead.

I deepen my scowl and try to hide the lust that's pooling in my groin. "Don't you think you've had enough?"

Draco shrugs and then turns over on his back, resting his head in my lap. Those clear grey eyes stare right at me, penetrating. "Not really. Come on, Sev, you know what tomorrow is. This could be our last night together. You're not going to make me drink this by myself are you? There'll be puke all over your clean sheets." He purses his lips and then smirks. "And your favourite pyjamas."

I hold his gaze for several moments before answering. He's right. Tonight will be my last night on earth. I'm certain that the Dark Lord knows of my betrayal. At some point during the battle, the Dark Lord will find a way to dispose of me. My chances of survival are slim.

I know all this. I've always known this. It's never mattered before. I even welcomed it, but my heart is racing uncontrollably in my chest. My breath catches in the back of my throat, blood pooling to my cock.

Before these last few months, I haven't held an erection in years. I thought something was wrong—that it was impossible for me to be aroused. Sharing a room with Draco has made me feel like a teenager again. I become hard at the slightest provocation, just by having a warm body close.

I want this. I need this. I'm not strong enough to deny him again. When one's imminent death grows closer, self-control wanes with each passing minute.

"Alright." I try not to betray any emotion in my voice. "You're incorrigible. But get some glasses. I will not drink from a bottle. We're civilized."

Draco snorts but removes himself from my chest and obliges, finding two nearby glasses. He pours an absurdly large amount of firewhiskey into two glass tumblers and hands me one. I take a heavy sip and gulp it down with ease. This is aged reserve firewhiskey, obviously expensive and from Lucius' private stores. Draco does not fare as well. He attempts to chug down the firewhiskey but winces and chokes after he swallows.

I roll my eyes and pretend that I don't find it amusing. It's regrettable that Draco doesn't possess his mother's decorum. Narcissa would be horrified to see her only son sputtering firewhiskey. My lips curve into a crooked smile.

"Make sure to tilt back your neck," I tell him.

He flashes me that radiant smile of his. I am so royally fucked.

: : : :

We've both indulged in too much firewhiskey. Without even realising, the entire bottle is emptied, most of it imbibed by me. Due to my age and genetic disposition, I have a high tolerance, but tonight, I've overdone it. The alcohol has gone straight to my head, to my cock. I watch Draco sit on the bed, a far off dreamy look in his eyes. His lips are red and pouted.

All I want to do is kiss him, to fuck him hard and deep. Restraining myself is almost impossible.

I turn to look at Draco and want to say something, to tell him to be safe, to explain my true loyalties. But I can't. All I can do is stare, get lost into those smouldering grey eyes. The silence is almost deafening. I open my mouth, trying to find something to say. It's rare for me to be dumbstruck. I feel like a foolish boy again. I may be 20 years older, but tonight my maturity level is the same as his. Nothing comes to mind.

Draco surprises me with a kiss. His lips are hot against mine. The last kiss we shared was soft and tentative; this one is fierce and demanding. His teeth nip at my bottom lip, coaxing out a moan.

"Draco," I whisper, pulling away from his lips and staring into those lust filled eyes.

"Please," he whimpers, "please, Severus."

His pleads undo me. I know this is wrong, that shame will fill every fibre of my being in the morning. Who cares? I'm only human and have denied myself his touch for too long. Turning back is not an option. Not anymore.

I don't respond but instead shove him against the mattress, pinning him underneath my arms with my weight.

"No more talking."

His eyes grow wider, a bewitching tungsten shade of silver. He nods in agreement and wets his lips.

"Strip," I tell him. It's not a request.

I turn away for a moment and remove my own pyjamas, throwing them on the nearest chair. When I turn back, Draco lies completely naked, blond hair fanned on a pillow and arms tucked behind his head. It's as if the boy arranged himself like a present. The most enticing present I've ever found in my bed. My erection, which deflated slightly as I undressed, is now rock hard again. Even if I imagined it countless times, this is the first time I've seen him naked.

He's even more beautiful than I imagined—long, lean legs, a slight but toned torso, and a firm, pink cock. The war has taken its toll on Draco; it's obvious from the prominence of his ribs. He's still the most beautiful man I've ever seen. My mouth waters and my cock gives a little twitch. If I had any doubt before that I will actually go through with this, those doubts have been erased.

"Gorgeous," I tell him, as I crawl closer to him on the bed. A shudder runs down my back. I shut my eyes and lick a long stripe down his neck, which I've wanted to do for months. He moans against my lips, his erection digging into my thigh.

"More," he begs.

I continue licking and sucking down his neck, slowly working my way down, first to his chest, paying extra attention to those two pink, pert nipples, teasing them with my tongue, and then down his torso. My cock aches and Draco continues grinding his erection against my thigh.

"Stay still."

"Please."

Foreplay has always been an indulgence of mine. The teasing is half the fun, but my own cock throbs painfully. At this rate, I won't last long, and I don't want Draco to come against my leg, like some kind of feral crup.

"Turn over."

The words have not finished coming out of my mouth before Draco obeys them. He turns over with a thud and wiggles his arse in my face. His arse is a thing of beauty: round and firm, much rounder than one would imagine for a boy of his slim stature. I feel the need to grab it and massage his cheeks. He doesn't seem to mind.

As I deepen my massage, Draco lets out a low moan. Normally, I like to take the time to slowly relax and open up my lovers. Not this time. The need is too great. I've consumed too much firewhiskey and am doubtful that I'll be up for a second round. This needs to happen immediately.

I cast a discreet stretching and lubrication charm and smirk as Draco squirms and moans below me. His lack of surprise at the charm calms me. I didn't want to be the one to take his virginity.

"Cold," he rasps.

I shake my head and lick my lips. His voice is captivating. "Only for a moment," I explain. Carefully, I insert a finger inside Draco, pushing it in and out slowly. When I don't feel any resistance, I add a second and quicken the pace. Eventually, a third follows.

"Is that better?" I ask, once I know he's sufficiently loose and wet.

"Yes," he mumbles into the mattress. "Severus, please. Do it."

He doesn't need to tell me twice. I remove my fingers and then wrap my left hand around my cock. It's still hard, just watching my fingers disappear in and out of Draco has made me sweat. Just in case, I give it a few firm pumps.

When I'm satisfied, I line up my cock with Draco's entrance. He gasps as I enter him, so I make sure to slow down the pace. Even if the boy isn't a virgin, my cock is probably the largest cock that has ever been near his arse. It can be unnerving.

Eventually, I push in all the way, savouring the tightness of Draco's hole, the waves of pleasure that vibrate throughout my entire lower half, slowly spreading up my torso. It's been too long since I've last experienced this. I forgot how exhilarating that first moment – when you push against an impossibly tight hole and watch it slowly expand to accommodate you – can be.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, go."

He writhes beneath me and pushes his arse cheeks up in the air. I thrust in deeply, using my hips, which causes a high-pitched squeal from Draco – the exact reaction I was aiming for – and then I continue, thrusting deeper and harder. Normally, I like to start slow, but the need is too great. The build up has gone on for too long. My cock throbs, and if I don't give in to the immense need, it'll be over with before either of us are satisfied.

Draco continues to squirm and groan beneath me. He's clearly enjoying himself. His legs are curled around my thighs and his arms dig into the mattress. The boy is flexible. He has no idea how fucking sexy that is. I place my arms around his waist and jerk him closer to me with each thrust. I've needed this for so fucking long. I can barely see what's going on around me. It's as if I'm lost in a dream.

A heady rush overwhelms me. The room spins, and I'm not sure if it's from the inexpressible pleasure of being bollocks deep in Draco's arse or the firewhiskey. Perhaps it's both. It hardly matters. I release his hips and dig my fingers into his back, my nails leaving behind half-moon creases.

He shudders and cries out my name. The rip of his orgasm courses through me and pushes me over the edge. Everything around me blurs. I can feel my vision turn fuzzy. Silver spots dance in front of my eyes. The last thing I remember is pulling out of Draco's arse and rolling onto my back. He mumbles something that sounds like: "That was brilliant."

Blackness washes over me, engulfing me, and for the first time in weeks, I sleep through the entire night.

TBC...


A/N: Thanks so much reading! I hope you enjoyed more Snaco smut. I promise there is no character death in this fic. Severus will not die in the battle even though he thinks he will. There is technically only one long chapter left of the story, but I might also write an epilogue if readers want it.

Comments are greatly appreciated. I haven't received one on this fic since 2014, (sad I know), so I'd love to hear your thoughts good or bad.