W/N - Many thanks to Roxfox, EE, Jayme, Thug, Evan and Ronin. I should read that piece with Amethyne. I must have spent half and hour trying to get that girl to talk or take her with me. I took a little break to write some Mass Effect fluff stuff so let's pick up after Lothering, after Redcliff and saving the Tower of Magi. We'll take a slightly whimsical look at our favorite bard, Leliana and see the Warden get more and more tweaky. I noticed that Father Kolgrim looked a lot like some character in an over the top movie so I'm drawing a little tongue in cheek humor from that along with a little Monty Python. I always thought religious wars were pretty stupid and I poke a little fun at that too.
Thank you all so much again and Merry Christmas.
Beyond the Wyrmling Lair – Two Months After the Fall of Highever
The advance of the quest party had been pretty steady from the time that they had slain the dragon cultist congregation in the Haven's Chantry. Leliana first fought and then watched as Alice Cousland butchered the cultists. Of course, they were attacked, but the sheet amount of bloodletting and savagery shocked her Orlesian sensibilities. There had to be…subtler ways of getting to the Urn of Sacred Ashes.
Then, the now free Brother Genitivi led them deep into the mountain, a frozen and forbidding temple built eons ago for Andraste's followers to resist the might of the Tevinter Imperium. Alice's strategy was simple, but efficient – Leliana and Zevran would scout ahead and lay traps, while the rest waited in ambush. Once sprung, the cultist reavers would be showered with arrows and the teeth of the Mabari hound, Cyrano. Then, Leliana and Zevran would spring from behind as the swords and axes of the rest would close in for the kill.
It wasn't that Leliana minded killing. After all, she'd done it more times than she could count and these people were bad, blasphemous people who had warped the worship of Andraste and the Maker. But, the whole putting heads on pikes as a warning to resisters…that was a bit much. After they had saved the Circle of Mages and escaped the Fade, Alice had emerged stronger, faster and smarter to the point where she wrestled Sten to the ground. Later, Leliana joked with Alice about The Game in Orlais, where nobles one upped each other with elaborate tricks and subterfuge. The Warden simply didn't get it, saying that she would just kill them and annihilate their families. Leliana had come to consider Alice a friend, but sometimes, the girl frightened her to the core.
Now, she and Zevran had infiltrated a monstrous cavern with dripping stalactites the size of whales and bizarre rock formations that looked like the demons and abominations that the Chantry had warned her about. Faces covered to conceal their steaming breath, they crept along, often hand and foot, over slimy stones and moss covered rocks until they reached a vantage point overlooking a group of cultists. They had about fifteen minutes before the party would enter so Leliana settled down, setting her bow by her side and uncovering her quiver of arrows. Zevran was already applying poison to his arrowheads and he winked at her when he noticed her looking.
"Ah, you cannot help but gaze at Zevran here, eh? I knew that time you spent in the Chantry would cause you to work up…certain urges."
The old Leliana would merely have laughed and would have manipulated the poor sex crazed elf into becoming her tool. But, the new Leliana was a cat of a different color. The Maker had spoken to her directly and she believed in the Chantry and the message of righteousness. The Chantry had saved her from pain and suffering and betrayal and she would not give into baser things. "Sex is not the only thing in the Maker's universe, Zevran," she chided.
Zev didn't bat an eye. "But, you have to agree that it is one of the most pleasurable things, no?"
She had to give him that. For a moment, her mind wandered to Marjolaine, her once mentor in the Orlesian Game. Marjolaine introduced her to love too. Leliana tingled at the thought of her mentor's powerful, shapely thighs wrapped around her own. But then, the image changed into Marjolaine's stiletto dagger protruding from Leliana's ribs. I'm sorry, my pretty thing, but it had to be done. Images of torture and abuse flooded her senses and she shuddered, still feeling the agony of the ordeal. She snorted. "Surely, Morrigan would prefer this banter with you." Actually, the witch would probably turn Zevran into a toad.
"Ah, but Morrigan refused to enter here so she stayed back with Brother Genitivi. I would have to go back there to tempt Morrigan so."
"My point exactly. Now, are we going to prepare for the Warden's arrival and save the day or should I just pull down my small clothes now?" she said with an edge of sarcasm.
Zevran actually had to think about it. "Well…how much time do we have left?"
Sigh. Leliana merely turned her nose up and began putting grenades out within easy reach. She lined them up by type for easy use – fire, cold, acid and explosive.
Zevran was not deterred. "I'll…uhh…take that as a rain check then."
Despite his annoying persistence, she knew that he was excellent at his job and was glad when Alice spared him in a shocking display of mercy. She still recalled when, after the Crow ambush, Alice stepping on the head of the wounded female assassin lying next to Zevran and shoving the tip of her sword into the woman's mouth.
Then, she saw movement at the mouth of the cavern. "Shush, Zev. Here they come." Leliana counted eight cultists, including two mages. She had also noted some traps that the cultists had set, but those would be easily destroyed by a grenade or an arrow shot. She watched as Alice deployed the party into fighting positions to await the throwing of grenades – the two Wardens formed a shield wall, while Sten and Oghren waited immediately behind with Cyrano and Wynne brought up the rear, heavily defended by the warriors.
Leliana picked up the two explosive grenades and cocked her arms back when one of the cultists moved towards the party, hands raised.
"Wait! I wish to parley!"
Leliana gasped. "What's this?" she whispered and Zevran crept up uncomfortably close next to her. She was going to shove him away, but there was no time to start such games.
Alice broke cover and advanced ahead of the shield wall. "I'll hear what you have to say, but be quick about it."
The man was dark with a thick, black beard and piercing eyes. He reminded the bard of an Orlesian play in which a warrior king led a small band of followers to glorious death. He placed his two-handed battle axe in a sheath at the back of his silverite mail coat. "I am Father Kolgrim. You are formidable to have come this far and so, I may decide to forgive your blasphemy."
The Warden rolled yet another head towards Kolgrim. "Does this change your opinion?"
The father grunted, but ignored the gruesome trinket. "I could fire upon you. We would shower you with arrows."
Alice held up her shield. "I brought an umbrella."
Kolgrim waved his hand dismissively. "Bah! There are bigger issues at stake here. I offer a proposal. We have been prevented from obtaining the Urn of Sacred Ashes and we would forgive your transgressions if you assist us in this matter."
Leliana's ears perked up at the mention of the urn. It was one of the most holy objects in all of Thedas and was assumed to be nothing but legend after all of these centuries had passed. She had seen it in her vision and had seen Alice holding the sacred urn in her hands. Surely, this was the path that the Maker had shown her. If only the Lothering Chantry brothers and sisters could see her now, their scornful looks might vanish from their faces.
Kolgrim continued, "We need the ashes from the urn to bring Andraste reborn into her full power!"
The bard recoiled. "Andraste reborn? This is blasphemy."
Zevran put a hand on her shoulder. "Shhh. Stay calm. Religious squabbles are none of our business."
"Well, maybe none of your business. Surely, Alice is not buying into this?"
Down below, the Warden put her hands on her hips and raised the visor of her sallet helm while lowering the bevor. "Andraste reborn? What are you talking about?"
"The Prophetess Andraste has overcome death itself and has returned to her faithful in a form more radiant than you can imagine. Not even the Tevinter Imperium could hope to slay her now."
Alice narrowed her eyes. "I'm listening. Continue."
"I will give you a vial of Andraste reborn's blood and you will defeat the guardian and get the urn. Then, you will pour the blood into the urn and destroy the ashes. Only then can Andraste reborn come into her full power!" he yelled in near ecstasy, shaking his fists and clenching his teeth.
Leliana's throat tightened and a tinge of red colored her vision. "No, she needs to shut him up. She needs to stop him," she said in a seething tone and cocked her arms back again to throw the grenades.
Zev grabbed her wrists. "No, wait. Let this play out."
She turned to the Antivan Crow and pulled her arms away. "I will not let the Sacred Urn be defiled. I will not."
The elf put the palms of his hands out to placate her. "Very well…we won't let that happen, but let the Warden do her thing."
Leliana let out a long sigh and relaxed her arms. Alice was casually striding towards Kolgrim, nodding her head at his loud words.
"Well," said Alice, "how can I trust that this is indeed Andraste reborn. I've seen a lot of imitations in my time. There was a fellow in Highever that claimed to have Andraste's knickers and he charged people two silvers just to touch them. And, believe me, he became a rich bas-"
"You non believers out there in the false world worship sacrilegious icons with your false Chantry. We know that you profess to have seven sacraments…seven! Don't you know that there are only three true sacraments?"
"Three, you say? Penance, marriage…uhhh, what else?"
Kolgrim shook his fists in the air as if he were at his wit's end with a stubborn child. "No, no!" he shouted, his eyes and the veins on his neck bulging. "They are baptism, confirmation and ordination! Even a babe knows that!"
Alice shrugged and rolled her eyes, which seemed to get Kolgrim to spin even higher. Leliana began to see what the Warden was doing and a smile formed on her lips. As Kolgrim stomped on the ground, about to burst a blood vessel from apoplexy, Alice's hand swept down to a small sheath at her waist and a flash of steel flew through the air at one of the mages. The blade of a dagger sank into the man's chest up to the hilts and he staggered back, gasping and clutching at the handle with clawed hands.
Alice made a signal to her scouts and Leliana hurled the two grenades, which landed amidst the cultists and burst into flame and shrapnel, tearing apart traps and flesh. The rest of the party came rushing ahead.
Kolgrim bellowed in anger and pain. "How dare you! This…is…Haven!" he shouted as he kicked Alistair in the shin, knocking the former Templar down into a shallow hole.
As Leliana prepared her next two grenades, arrows twanged from Zevran's bow and Sten's warcry rose above all else.
"Nehraa Beresaad!"
Leliana had no idea what it meant, but it sounded so fearsome. She chucked the next two grenades at the remaining mage, but the man put his staff up and the spheres burst in midair, throwing fire in all directions. He then pointed his staff at her and an arc of electricity sizzled upward. At the last second, the bard let loose a song that distracted the mage. The bolt altered directions ever so slightly and flowed into the rock column next to her that shattered into thousands of fragments. Bits of stone pelted Leliana through her leather battledress and bounced off of her bacinet helm.
Zevran cried out in pain, "I hope I don't get blood all over me again." He immediately jumped back up and shot an arrow into the back of one of the cultist reavers. "Just once I'd like to walk into one of these places and discover a lively dance, or a drinking festival or even an orgy. But alas, no."
Leliana had a good comeback, but there were more important things to attend to. She drew her shortsword and dagger and leapt over the ledge, sliding on her backside down the slope. As she regained her feet, she saw the mage lift his staff again and she dove behind a rock as a wave of energy rolled over her. She scuffed her knee as she rose and gritted her teeth. "I tried to be merciful!" She rolled ahead as a stalactite crashed into the ground where she had been standing and came up at the mage's feet, thrusting both sword and dagger into his chest. "Try not to look too incompetent, it's embarrassing," she said as the mage's eyes rolled back and he sagged to the ground.
The bard looked around and saw Alice, her helm now closed, trading blows with Kolgrim. The Revered Father twirled his battle axe like a baton, powering blows into the Warden's shield that she had to continually angle to deflect the blade away. Knicks and scratches now covered the wood and metal barrier, marring the green laurel wreath of the Cousland family on its face. Leliana rushed over the mushy ground to aid her friend. On the run, she picked up a rock and flung it into Kolgrim's head. The little stone impacted with a thunk and the man staggered, bringing one hand up to the back of his skull. Alice immediately seized the moment and slashed the tip of her blade diagonally down Kolgrim's chest in a banderole cut, sending riveted mail links scattering about.
The Revered Father cried out and made a feeble one-handed swing with his axe. Alice didn't even bother to parry it, merely ducking under the arc of the blade. Leliana saw the razor tip of Alice's sword flash and she ran up behind Kolgrim to finish the deed. Alice's hand thrust forward and Leliana's dagger came down at the same time, piercing mail links front and back. The bard's dagger buried itself at the base of the man's neck just as the tip of the Warden's sword protruded out his back, barely missing Leliana.
Kolgrim snarled and gurgled, spitting blood on Alice's helmet. Leliana twisted the dagger and the man groaned weakly, sinking to his knees. The bard snorted. She knew that Alice would take his head in her obsessive ritual of vengeance, but this time, the Warden would be justified. Blasphemy had to be dealt a blow with an iron fist. Leliana looked down into Kolgrim's fading eyes and told him, "The righteous stand before the darkness and the Maker shall guide their hand."
