prompt 155 - "a night of drunken adventures". I figured that Ninja Turtles could party pretty hard. I fast forwarded them to 21 since I feel a little better about that, hehe.
Rated G, Humor. Your favorite turtle might have been pretty bad, though.
Greetings Master Yoshi,
I will not be here when you grace us with your weekly visit. I hope the NGC 5866 galaxy was particularly exciting for you. As always, I cannot wait to join you in your other-world journeys someday. For now, I shall tell you about last night's 'journey', if you can call it that.
My sons are brilliant, hard working children; however, that goes without saying the working hard part moves into the playing hard philosophy. I, your humble and quiet pet rat, have my hands full at times, this I know. Very much know. Picture this: New Year's Eve. You know where I am going with this statement. Yes, my sons consume enough alcohol to raise the legal drinking age to forty. They are older now, 21, and I do not have enough tentacles to keep them from getting into misadventures. I will quietly admit that it is funny to hear about these drunken tales, but I do worry for their safety. Several times you have recommended I cage and ship them to the Ancient One. I have thought about this and will likely consider it now.
Let us start with Michelangelo the Foolish. I found him wearing a traffic light as a necklace, wearing a black mask from some horror movie (called "Scream" if I remember) and chasing homeless people with a frozen dead rat. I am appalled. We are acquaintances with many of those people, and help them frequently. Thus, the only logical thing for a drunken idiot to do is put his freezing lips to a cold carcass, and then one has a tricky and questionable situation on their hands. Do not worry. I immediately smacked him with the rat as soon as they were released.
Raphael's temperament and my delicate fur have impeccable timing, it seems. I will refrain from getting too obscene in this letter, but I do not recall teaching the boy how to relieve himself in a baby's carriage and then insulting both child and mother. He will babysit Shadow and substitute his brother in the Cowabunga Carl costume until further notice. Despicable!
When I gave Donatello his first science book, I did not realize that someday he would use his extensive knowledge to change some of the ATMs' languages into Latin. I even asked him what is the difference between hydrocarbons and carbohydrates, and he said the weekend special with the best chips. In your brilliantly immortal state, do you have any idea what that means?
I am saddened that you could not see your twilight years. It is a time of great reflection and prosperity. When Leonardo reaches that age, I hope his tattoo of a naked lady and twin katanas reminds him of when the clock struck midnight on that fateful New Years and his father's encouraging words could be heard into the next year.
They will all need to explain why a tank sits smoking in the Foot headquarters. We have a lot of making cupcakes and explaining to do.
Please say hello to Tang Shen for me, and do not mention this to her. Hearing about Raphael will devastate her.
My love to you always,
Splinter
