Chapter 12. Alice

The doctors were optimistic about my recovery. My youth worked on me. My fractures and injuries were healing. The process was very slow, but my doctors haven't found any complications. At first I reacted to the news with unhidden enthusiasm: the conversation with Carlisle had cheered me up. I kept thinking of the future where Charlie and Renee wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. It would be great. I was optimistic, but it wasn't going to last forever. Everything ended when I realized how long and painful the process of healing would be.

Pain leaded my life. I was happy to see the nurse who visited to sedate me. The drugs released me from pain, at least, temporarily. When its action was over, the hell was returning to my life. I've tried to stay calm, but nothing worked. I didn't belong to myself anymore.

Renee and Charlie worried. Both of them felt uncomfortable; my pain made them feel pain too. Mom wished she could go home. Renee was useless here, but she didn't have a proper reason for leaving. Unfortunately, I was too angry and tired, and had no force to persuade her to return to Jacksonville.

A was lying in my bed, sleepless again, waiting for the next day to start. A new day of pain, anger and irritation. I closed my eyes, trying to find sleep. I was so tired...

'Open your eyes, Bella! I know you're not sleeping!'

A high ringing melody broke the silence.

I shivered and met a pair of wide eyes. They weren't just golden; they had the color of topaz. It reminded me of grandma's ring that she wore in my memories.

The face opposite me was deadly-white, marble, too perfect. Her pixie-like features made her look weak and fragile. Her dark hair was raven black. She looked surprised, although that surprise was insincere.

Alice Cullen. I was afraid to speak with her. I didn't know why, but I felt that it wouldn't be easy.

'Hey, Alice', my voice sounded muffled. 'How are you?' I asked quickly.

Alice's stare was too serious. My heart couldn't hide my emotions. I felt uncomfortable. Just like a thief caught in the middle of the burglary.

'I'm in a very bad mood, actually!' she cried without saying hello. 'Because of you, Bella! I'm offended!'

She folded her arms on her chest.

'Offended by me?' I asked, surprised. We've just met after so many years. What have I done now?

'Yes!' Alice answered. 'At first you speak with Carlisle, and then I see the future with Esme visiting you. WITHOUT ME! How could you do this to me? I'm your best friend!'

Alice's voice sounded too high for my ears. It annoyed me. I made a deep breath.

'You were', I corrected, frowning. 'We haven't seen each other for seven years'.

My fear was fading. It helped me to concentrate.

'But I still worry about you!' Alice protested. 'And it wasn't my fault that I had to leave you without a single good bye!'

She was so untactful. Everyone has tried not to mention that painful moment, but Alice wasn't afraid to hurt me again. I gave her a dirty look. She glanced back, angry too.

'You look awful!' she noticed, examining me.

'Thank you', I answered automatically.

'I mean your appearance, Bella. You're still young, but I can see lots of new wrinkles printed on your face. You look like nothing on earth!'

Alice was a huge fan of beauty and style – everything that I wasn't familiar with. If she were human, Alice would spend all of her time in a beauty shop. I looked at her again, trying to notice something imperfect. Alice was ideal. She didn't need any correction.

Alice must have decided that she hasn't annoyed me yet. Alice grabbed my hands, examining them. I blushed.

'Why are you looking so awful?' she asked.

'I was busy', I said evasively. Alice's eyes narrowed.

'Busy with what? Washing dishes in Charlie's house?'

I made another deep breath. Alice wasn't going to be so nice and soft.

'Something like that', I answered, trying to calm myself down.

I thought Alice was going to say something about my nails, but she suddenly murmured:

'Weird... I thought I just saw it'.

Alice dropped my hands. Something disappointed her. I frowned again.

'What were you searching for?' I asked.

'Your wedding ring!' answered Alice. 'I saw a vision with your husband. He is still wearing the ring. I thought you might have it too.'

Oh.

'Did you see Dave?' I asked, unsure that I could speak about the divorce.

Alice nodded.

'Yes. He's going to visit you today. I thought you need to know'.

'He hasn't visited me yet', I said, surprised. Renee mentioned her conversation with David, but…

Alice suddenly laughed. I stared at her. It looked as if she was reading my thoughts. I was too predictable. Open book again.

'It's because of Charlie', she explained. 'He doesn't like him very much. Your Dad's telling your husband to visit you later, because your condition is too bad. Funny, isn't it?'

'How can you know that?'

Alice shrugged.

'I just spoke to Charlie in the hall before visiting you. I needed to ask his permission. I wanted to be polite'.

'And he gave it to you?' I asked, although I had already known the answer.

Alice considered my remark as a little compliment.

'I know how to be persuasive'.

I sighed.

'Have you always been so… irritating?' I asked, giving up. I wished I could be angry with Alice, but I was too weak to resist her.

Alice chuckled.

'Yes. And you won't be able to get rid of me. I promise.'

I wasn't sure about that. I've heard it already. I looked away, thinking about the days we could have spent together. So much time was lost…

Alice noticed my numbness.

'How's life, by the way? Except your failed marriage, of course', she continued the conversation. 'And, if you want to know my opinion, I didn't like your husband at all. He is so… ordinary'.

Alice wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something unpleasant.

'His name is Dave. And, if you want to know my opinion, he is very kind and supportive', I answered, protecting him. 'Appearances can be deceiving. Have you ever heard about that?'

Alice grimaced. She didn't agree with my opinion.

'I know, Edward behaved like an idiot, but you shouldn't have set the bar so low! It seems like you have bad taste literally in everything!'

Well, that was too much. I inhaled deeply. Stay calm, stay calm…

'Do you see the reason why I didn't want to see you?' I asked, irritated by this conversation.

Alice examined my face again, reading every emotion.

'Yes', she answered in a serious tone. 'I'm the only person who can get you out of your imaginary world. I won't be silent. And I'm not going to be as patient as Carlisle or Esme. I'm your true friend!'

Alice was out of breath, disappointed now. Such a sudden change in her emotions surprised me. I realized that it was difficult for Alice too. It was difficult for her to pretend being happy and funny. Alice was hiding pain too, and she wasn't going to hide it all the time.

Alice pointed at me.

'Look at you! What have you done with your life?' Alice cried. 'You could go to college, start travelling, do something instead of rotting in Forks!'

Alice was angry. I wanted to interrupt her, wanted to tell her all what I has been planning to say, but Alice shook her head.

'I know. I'm rude', her speech was fast. Too fast. Could she remember that I was just a human?

'Edward had no right to leave you. He made a mistake. And I made that mistake too…'

Wait. Was she going to apologize?

'I'm sorry, Bella', added Alice, whispering now. The changes in her behavior were so fast. 'We should have prevented it or, at least, tried to change Edward's mind. I know that all these years have been difficult for you. I can see that.'

She said exactly what I wanted to stay. I frowned again. I would feel better if I let release my pain, but now… I had no idea what to do now. The old anger vanished, leaving too many space inside of me.

'And I can see pain in Charlie's eyes', Alice continued. She would start crying if she could cry. 'Think about him! He looks so old. And he is so tired…'

'I'm always thinking about Charlie! What am I supposed to do?' I asked, desperate. I needed to protect myself somehow. 'He won't return home until my recovery'.

I looked Alice in the eyes. The cold topaz turned into golden lava.

'Well… actually, there is an opportunity to make Charlie leave Seattle', said Alice after some pause.

'I can't recover in a single day. I'm only a human', I noticed sarcastically.

Then I finally realized what I just have said. I'm only a human. Human. Human…

I imagined myself being perfectly healthy, looking beautiful, having pale cold skin and bright red eyes…

Alice froze. A new vision came to her mind. Her eyes widened.

'Not like that, Bella', she whispered. 'My proposal wasn't so… radical'.

I blushed. A short picture inside of my head changed the possible future. It must be the most embarrassing day in my life…

'It's not what I meant', Alice continued. 'I wanted to say that Charlie wouldn't have to stay in Seattle if you came back to Forks'.

I recalled Forks hospital. It was a little one storey building. The nursing home was situated there too, so the hospital was very, very small. I could bet there was no necessary equipment in Forks; I wouldn't be able to recover there.

'I don't understand what you're talking about', I said honestly. The idea of sending Charlie away was great, but hardly possible. 'The hospital in Forks is too small. And I'm quite sure', I pointed at the monitor, 'that they' won't let me take it.'

Alice laughed again.

'I've got good news for you, then. Someone has just made a huge donation to Forks hospital…' she paused theatrically.

'…with all equipment you may ever need. The donation is made by an anonymous sponsor. It's impossible to turn it back. Moreover, one of the best doctors in the world is ready to move to Forks and take care of you. You're so lucky!'

She winked. I blushed again.

'You can't do this!' I answered. 'It's unfair! 'I won't accept any gifts from… from…'

I could see Edward's face inside of my mind.

'…him', I finished.

Alice rolled her eyes.

'I don't make you accept any present from Edward, Bella! But don't you want to accept gifts from me? Or Carlisle? Just imagine Esme's face when she finds out how rude you are! She loves you so much. Where's your gratitude?'

Esme's image replaced Edward from my mind. Her soft, heart-shaped face was staring at me with disapproval. Again.

I sighed.

'I won't accept it from you', I shook my head.

Alice paused for while, watching the future, then relaxed and smiled, showing her white teeth.

'No, you will!'

'Don't expect that I'll change my mind'.

'I know you'll say yes. I can see that!'

'What if you are just lying to me?' I mumbled. She was so noisy. What could I do?

Alice shrugged.

'It's your choice, not mine. Your love for Carlisle, Esme and me is too strong. You should accept that. And you feel guilty because Renee and Charlie have stuck here. Your face is so easy to read'.

I grimaced. I didn't want to accept that Alice was right.

'Charlie can go home. Return to work. Go fishing. And Renee can return to Phil. Moreover, it's a bit dangerous for us to stay here…' Alice added, becoming serious again. 'Carlisle is too delicate. He'll never tell you that, but we endanger our lives by staying in Seattle for too long'.

'Do you think that your moving to Forks can help you?' I asked skeptically. 'What's the difference?'

No one could forget the Cullens. I knew what I was talking about.

Alice wasn't going to give up.

'Little towns are the best place to hide, Bella. You'll learn that, when…'

'When what?' I asked.

Alice froze again, ignoring my question. The lava became a haze; haze turned into the topaz again. A few seconds passed, and Alice woke up. She smiled, relieved.

'Never mind', Alice said, getting up. Her motions were elegant and light. 'Your future is fixed now. I think I can work with that'.

She touched my cheek softly and suddenly hurried to the door, waving goodbye.

Alice was so annoying, but… Was she going to leave me all alone?

'Stop… Wait!' I cried. 'Don't go! Are you going to leave me like that?'

Another laugh, another colorful melody. Alice turned to me and met my scared gaze.

'We all are returning to Forks', she said happily. Joy was playing in her voice. 'I can see it so clearly', Alice confessed.

'I had a lot of work to do now. I'm sorry, I have to go. I need to see Carlisle. He must speak with other doctors and start to plan your transportation.'

I sighed and looked away. It was so strange. Before Alice arrived I wished I could release my parents from sufferings. The problem was almost solved now, but I wasn't happy about it.

'Bella?'

I looked up. Alice had already returned and stood not far from my bad, smiling again.

'I just wanted to say that you shouldn't worry about Renee', she added. 'I'll ask Esme to take care of it. And, by the way… do you mind if I inform Charlie about the latest news? I can hear him standing not far from here.'

I gave her another angry look.

'You're impossible', I mumbled.

Alice laughed.

'I know. Everybody says that.'

When has my life started to change so fast?