The RAA: Remus Admirers Anonymous

Chapter Twelve: Revenge Starts at Breakfast

'No… Remus would never say something like that, and defiantly not while we're about to have sex. …We're in the foreplay then…

'…Well then, what would he say? Remus is very literate, so it'd have to be more fancy-full. Like "I know, I've—" No, he wouldn't say that either, that's just stupid. Well then, let's pretend, for the sake of this fantasy, that we're already past the declarations of love and are, indeed, having sex. …Well then, how would that go?

'No way in hell I'm sacrificing my masculinity; Remus will just have to play bottom. So then…? Where are we now?

'…It would really suck if Remus had the head the head of an ass. No! Damned Shakespeare! He's getting me off track! Though, it would be fun to play Puck, I'd have the last line in the play. …Damnit! I'm still off track!

'Okay, okay, so then this is how it goes; Remus and I have declared our immortal (or immoral, depending on whom you are) love for each other and we've collapsed onto James's bed and are…

'Wait, why James's bed?

'…Okay then, so where on my bed now, and I'm pulling Remus's tie undone. Once that's done I'll just throw it aside… or not… Hmmm, I'll think about that later.

'…Where was I again? Oh yeah! Then I'll unbutton his shirt and kiss his lovely, scarred, pale, beautiful chest. All the while his hands are tangled in my hair, and his back is arching into my lips, and he's moaning my name oh so beautifully, and—.'

"SIRIUS!!! Pay some goddamned attention to me! I'm trying to talk to you!"

Sirius gave a small jump and glared at the hand still waving in his field of vision. 'DAMN YOU!!! AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!!' Sirius mentally yelled at James. He then lunged forward and bit James's hand.

"OW!! Let go you little bitch!" James managed to pry Sirius's teeth out of his hand and glare at his friend.

"I'm a man! Now, what do you want?" Sirius asked angered, turning back to James and still glaring.

"I know, I know, what ever, but listen," James wrapped his arm around Sirius's shoulder and leaned in a little. "How do you suppose I go about asking Lily to the ball with me?"

Sirius glared at James lightly. "You pulled me out of a day dream for that?"

"Hey! It's an important question!" James pulled off of Sirius and glared.

"Yeah! One that I don't give a flying fuck about," Sirius started eating after he was done glaring at his friend.

James stared silently for a moment. "So…" He said slowly, "Who were you day dreaming about?"

"Remus," Sirius said flatly, knowing James wouldn't take him seriously.

"Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight," James said slowly and after a moment he went back to eating.

"I'm flattered," Remus muttered quietly.


Perry Lope smirked as the morning mail swooped into the Great Hall; the 'SARA's revenge was being put into motion today.

Ruth Jasmine had seen Chris Faro sneaking out of the Ravenclaw common room two nights before. After the latest 'RAA' meeting the 'SARA' met and decided to start their plan. Perry worked up a draft of the letter they'd later send to Elexandra Scotts, from Chris Faro all about how much he hated Sara Bram and how disgusting she was. The letter ended up in every other member's hands until everyone said it was good to go, some even adding more in, as they had seen fit. Tessa Keith then placed a spell on the quill so that it would write in Faro's hand and Perry re-wrote the complete and 'SARA'-approved letter. Persephone had then coaxed Faro's owl, an Australian Masked owl named Bugia (1), to come down from the top rafters of the owlery and attached the letter to the owl's leg. They had sent the message to Scotts and were simply waiting for her to read it and spread the rumors about Bram.

They hoped that Bram would retaliate against Scotts, maybe getting a few good rumors started in on the blond, too.

"It's likely that Bram will retaliate. She's not the kind to take insult like this laying down," Bethany Rapp had said at the 'SARA' meeting once the letter was done.

Over at the Ravenclaw table Emily Seth smiled. It was her idea to put a charm on the letter so that when it was opened it would slowly turn the reader's teeth black.

"You think she's read it yet?" Marie Pepper leaned closer to Bethany as her voice hushed.

"We should know when we hear excited squealing over finding some new, juicy gossip." Bethany replied almost sarcastically.

Emily smiled, "I'm just going to love seeing her when she's disgusting and totally revolting."

Marie laughed, "Yep."


Elexandra Scotts stared at her cousin's owl as it landed in front of her. "What the heck's he owling me for?" She slowly reached out and grabbed the letter, tossing a piece of toast at the bird.

E. Scotts,

You know Sara Bram, I know you do. She's in that 'We love who ever' club, but that's not the point. My point is, she's a lying bitch.

She and I have been having sex for a while now…

"Ooooh, this is good," Scotts smiled and read on. The rest of the letter went on in a mostly mad tirade all about how horrible Bram was and had several different tidbits that would make such a lovely down fall of one Sara Bram.

"Bitch shouldn't have gotten kicked out of that stupid 'rawr' thing," Scotts smirked as she pointed her wand at the bottom of the letter and erased her cousin's name. "Hey, Meg, look at this. It's from some guy."

Megan Rockwood grabbed the paper and read it quickly. "Oh my gosh," she said slowly.

"Spread it," Scotts commanded.


"Okay," Bethany whispered urgently, "Jessica, you said that you were starting ageing potions today, just slip this—."

"I know," Jessica Coots whispered back as she grabbed the plant from Bethany's hands.

"Good." And the two departed.

The plant was supposed to make the ageing potion (which was only supposed to age you about a year, then wear off,) age you about fifty years. Jessica was to slip it into Scotts's potion then wait for it to blow up in the Slytherin's face; completing another part of their revenge.


Remus sneezed rather violently in the middle of transfiguration.

"Is there something you would like to say Lupin?" Professor McGonagall looked over her shoulder at him as she was writing something on the board.

"N-no, Professor, sorry," Remus mumbled as he sniffed. "I think I might be coming down with something."

McGonagall stared for a moment. "Go visit Madam Pomfrey then."

Remus nodded slightly as he stood and gathered his things.

"You gonna be okay?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded again, "I should be fine." He smiled reassuringly.


Sara Bram walked into the Great Hall and suddenly all got quiet. She stopped and stood for a moment.

"What's going on?" She asked one of her friends as she sat down at the Ravenclaw table.

"Um… nothing," her friend looked away quickly and snicker to the girl next to her.

Bram stared again. "What's going on? And Kelsey, don't lie to me."

Kelsey Rimmer turned back to Bram. "It's… a couple of thing we… heard about… someone."

"Who?"

"Erm, you, maybe."

"What?" Bram glared, trying not to acknowledging the slight amount of nervousness that swelled in her belly.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to kill me. You know the old saying 'Don't kill the messenger'?"

Bram nodded.

"Well, there are some sayings going about, about you and this Gatto guy."

"Faro?" Bram felt herself pale slightly.

"Yeah!" Kelsey lit up slightly, "Him! Anyway, they say you're shagging him or something like that. Isn't that crazy?"

Bram nodded, forcing all emotion off her face. "Yeah, weird."

"But I know that's not true, 'cause if it was, you'd get kicked out of 'WLAEASB'. And you'd die if that happened." Kelsey smiled obliviously.

"So, I take it that what my cousin said was true then?"

Bram whipped around quickly to see Scotts standing there with her "friends".

"What?" Bram glared shocked.

"Yep, he told me everything. And I, as 'WLAEASB' president, must discard you from our organization." Scotts smiled.

Bram gapped, "Is this some type of twisted revenge because I got kicked out of that stupid 'REE' thing?"

Scotts feigned shock, "What are you talking about? I'm merely following 'WLAEASB' rules! And rule nine-five-oh-six of the 'WLAEASB' states that 'all members shall only date or do any other sexual acts with Sirius Black or else they must be evicted from the 'We Love Absolutely Everything About Sirius Black' on the date of their other relationship is found out'."

Bram stared dumbly. "Did you memorize the Big Book or something?"

"Why of course I memorized the rule book! I am President after all!" Scotts smiled. "And… you are out."

"…Fine," Bram glared and pulled a necklace out from under her shirt. She ripped it off and threw it at Scotts before she got up and angrily and left the Ravenclaw table in a rage.

She stopped several paces from the doors and turned back to Scotts. "No one may have told you this Scotts but," She paused for affect, "you look like a seventy-year-old bitch!"

Scotts gapped at her, "The nerve! I do not."

"Actually," Kylie Hybri said slowly, "we didn't want to tell you but… you kind do."

Scotts looked at her friends quizzically. "You're lying."

"No, you do," Hybri said slowly.

Scotts quickly pulled out her compact and screamed as she saw her reflection in the mirror, "Why didn't you tell me?!"


Sirius turned and looked in the direction of the scream. He then saw the seventy-year-old looking Scotts and laughed right out.

James turned to look at where Sirius was laughing at and snickered too. "You see her black teeth?"

Sirius nodded through his laughs. "I can't pass this up. I'll be right back." He got up and walked over to where Scotts was in a near tantrum. "Scotts, what look you going for here? Methamphetamine addicted granny?"

Scotts's eyes widened, "What?"

"Sorry, but I like my girls with pearly whites, and you just don't have them," he almost patted her on the shoulder in mock sympathy, then thought better of it and retracted his hand and began to walk off. "Oh," he turned back slightly, "when you start to lose your hair, don't come near me; I don't like women that shed."

Scotts gapped, "S-Sirius?"

Sirius stopped and walked back to her stiffly while glaring. "'Sirius' is reserved for friends and people I actually like and respect. You have lost both of those in the short time I have known you so if you could just politely sod off and leave me and my friends alone, that'd be great." He growled, adding the 'friends' part as he remembered the hell Scotts put Remus through in late September.

Scotts was knocked out of her astonishment and glared and Sirius's retreating back. "Yeah, well, you're just some rich prick that uses his good looks and money to get every where in life! Just like all pure-bloods! I bet your parents just love you!"

("Shit," James muttered as he got up from the Gryffindor table to go hold Sirius back. His Parents were a VERY touchy subject.)

Black turned and glared darkly. He pulled his wand from his pocket and shot the first jinx at Scotts he could think of. "I'm sorry, you must have me confused with a Malfoy. And what in all hell do you think you know about my parents?" Black walked slowly as he glared at her.

The jinx was starting to take affect. Scotts began to get a very high fever, of about forty-Celsius (or one hundred four-Fahrenheit). Her head began to ache and she was braking out in black spots all over, but mostly centered around her neck, armpits, and (she was very glad no one could see, but she could feel them,) her groin. The black spots started to blister, oozing puss and blood.

"Wh-what is this?" Scotts stared horrified at the few spots on her forearms as she began to get nauseous.

"It's the Black Plague, you little bitch." Sirius glared and whipped out of the Great Hall in a manner that would later be infamous with Severus Snape.

James quickly followed him out and caught up to do something rarely done my James Potter; he reprimanded Sirius.


Bethany winced at Scotts as she was lead out of the hall by several teachers. (Dumbledore left to look for Sirius and give him several long detentions for using that curse against a fellow student.)

"Damn."

"I feel a little bit sorry for her," Marie whispered.

"Yeah, it was a little mean to curse her with the Bubonic Plague," Bethany agreed.

"Think we should go through with the rest of our plan?" Emily asked and she leaned in to talk.

Beth bit her lip. "I don't know. Emily, go call an emergency meeting." Emily nodded and ran off.

Ten minutes later all of the 'SARA' could be found in the Room of Requirement.

"Do we think what Sirius did was an efficient enough job? Or do you all think we need to continue our plan to get back at Scotts?" Bethany asked the room.

'The opposition to quitting the plan is deafening,' Jessica thought sarcastically. '…Say that ten times fast.'

It was decided that Scotts punishment was over and that Bram's was sufficient enough.

"Well," Persephone started meekly as they were leaving, "they say revenge is best served cold."

"…What does that even mean?" Tessa asked.

"Something along the lines of 'you better be one cold hearted bitch to enjoy your revenge'," Jessica said off-handedly as she walked down the corridor to her Defense Against the Dark Arts class.


TBC! (1) Bugia is supposed to mean 'lie' in Italian.

I hope you all liked my… repayment for not putting the kiss scene in last chapter! I would have made this chapter longer and have the revenge be better, but I got bored in… about the middle and decided that Sirius cursing Scotts would be good enough. And Remus wasn't even there to reprimand Sirius for doing it! He was still in the hospital wing. I wonder if he has a serious bug? …HAHAHAHAAA! PUNS! Anyway, you're all going to hate me for next chapter. And only one person knows why!! And she doesn't even like slash! So, why does she know you ask? Well, she's one of my friends (that I know personally) and I told her, because I knew she'd never, ever read this fanfic!

Oh! And the Halloween Ball is next chapter!!!

Thank you my lovely beta-chan rekahneko!

Reviewer of the Chapter is… kuragurl, because she's my crazy reviewer! (I finally have a crazy reviewer!!! Yes!! I love you!! …and all you other reviewers, too, cause you all rock for reviewing!!!)