Thanks so much for all of your reviews-I really appreciate the effort. I was wondering if people were reading and now I know you're still out there : )
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CHAPTER 12
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December 6, 1981.
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Jackie sits on carpet in the middle of a large, well-appointed living room playing with a beautiful dark-haired baby. She makes funny faces at her and mentally pats herself on the back for being about to elicit a response with almost every grimace and odd sound.
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"I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her" Jackie sighs, almost to herself as she kisses the baby's soft hair and holds her closely to her chest.
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"I do. You'd be out there trying to find a man so you can have your own little princess. You're never going to meet a guy when you spend all your time hanging out with a toddler" Brooke jokes as she strides across the floor to retrieve her little girl.
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Betsy climbs off of Jackie's lap and scales Brooke like a mountain climber.
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Jackie stands up and follows her. "You try having the energy to go out when work starts at 2am. What am I supposed to do, party for a few hours and then go on air looking all haggard?" she sniffs as she readjusts the necklace that Betsy was playing with.
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"Jackie, you're on at 4am, nobody is looking at your hair" she laughs. "They just want to know if they need to bring an umbrella to work."
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"People who are up at 4am deserve beauty with their weather too, Brooke. Don't they Betsy?" she coos at her Goddaughter.
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"Yeah" Betsy replies.
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"She's been asking for you at bath time" she makes a sad face at her friend. "I don't think she's used to you not living so nearby anymore. Neither am I. I hate your new apartment."
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"It's closer to the station" she shrugs. The shorter girl strokes Betsy's face and sighs. "I won't forget you pumpkin. You're Auntie Jackie's special girl." She kisses the toddler again and frowns. "Don't suppose she's seen much of her Godfather lately?"
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Brooke laughs. "You know you can just ask about him. Nobody's judging- least of all me."
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"Fine. How's he doing?" she asks, bitterly ashamed of herself for even caring.
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"He moved, actually" she informs her.
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"From the basement or from Point Place?" she wonders.
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Brooke kneads her hands together nervously. She knows she's going to get her ass kicked for withholding this important information, but she can't watch Jackie avoid going home for another holiday season, just because she's worried she'll run into Hyde there. "Both."
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"Wow. That is news. I wonder what finally provoked him into doing that." she scratches her head, mystified. "Where is he living?"
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The spunky librarian takes a huge breath and reassures herself that ripping the band-aid off quickly is the only way. "Chicago."
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Jackie feels like somebody sucked all of the air out of the room. He's in Chicago. He's in Chicago? Why would he move to the one place that she ran to escape him? Does he know she's here? He hasn't come to see her, so maybe he doesn't. Or maybe he knows she's here and hasn't come to see her because he couldn't care less about her? "How long? W-When did he move here?"
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Brooke starts to unconsciously retreat towards the kitchen. "Um...January of last year?".
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Jackie's face drops and rage enters her eyes. "January. As in, 23 months ago? As in, the month that I moved to Chicago? Why didn't you say something?" The little pixie's fists balls up tightly as she walks toward her tall friend with purpose.
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"I didn't want to upset you. You were trying to get your life back together and I didn't think you'd stay if you knew." The young mother lets out a burst of nervous laughter. "Remember Jackie, I'm holding a baby!"
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"Well you'd better be holding that baby all night when you sleep, because I will be waiting at your bedside!" she shrieks.
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"Aw Yeah!" Kelso screams as he enters the room. "Gotta love a chick fight, especially one that mentions the word bed" he nods appreciatively.
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Her possessed eyes turn and focus on her ex-boyfriend. "Did you know about this too, moron?"
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"Uh...no?" he looks around nervously for an excuse to leave.
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Brooke gives him an incredulous look.
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"Damn Brooke! Fine. I knew. What are you gonna do to me?" he stands up bravely to his ex. "Just please don't hurt the money-maker" he begs and gestures to his face.
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Jackie finds the nearest chair and sits down. "Does he know I'm here?" she asks them.
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"No" Brooke answers quickly. "He has no idea".
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"Has he, um, does he know you're all in contact with me?" she wonders.
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"He's suspicious of Donna, but he doesn't really bother the rest of us about it, which is amazing, considering I'm married to the world's worst liar" she grumbles, shooting a bemused glare at Kelso.
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A quizzical look passes over Jackie's face. "Yeah, how did you manage to keep this idiot's mouth shut for so long?"
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"He responds well to corporal punishment" she says, to which Kelso nods and winks.
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"Are you coming home for Christmas?" he asks.
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"I don't really have a home, so no. Mom is somewhere is Baja and dad is spending the holidays with Uncle Sam yet again," she explains.
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"Why don't you just go spend Christmas with your Uncle too?" Kelso suggests innocently.
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Jackie rolls her eyes and ignores his stupidity. "The Formans are taking a two week cruise this year with the Pinciottis, so they're all going to be in the Caribbean. Fez is staying in LA with his girlfriend's family - not that he'll talk to me anyway. So that just leaves me, alone, as usual".
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"Hyde's alone" Kelso volunteers.
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She glares at him. "Sure. I'll rush right on over there and bake him a pie. Anyway, he's not alone. He has a sister and a dad to celebrate with," she says.
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"No, they're actually going to Europe for a music festival. He's going to be alone too." Brooke asserts.
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"What about his a stable of skanks? Surely one of them can get the night off from their pimp to join him for turkey?" she quips.
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"Honey, he's barely been dating. He's kind of turned into a workaholic" she informs her.
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"Yeah, he's no fun anymore" Kelso complains. "Neither are you" he pouts.
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"You're alone a lot, he's alone a lot. You could be alone together? Maybe it's fate?" Brooke suggests hopefully.
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"Then I guess Steven and I share the same fate as millions of other friendless losers around the country who will be drinking their way through Christmas" she shrugs.
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"Oh Jackie, I'd invite you to join us, but my family is taking us all to Aspen for the holidays this year" she says, giving her sad eyes.
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"Brooke, seriously. It's no big deal. I'm getting two and a half weeks off from work when the station scales down during the month of December. I'll probably just read all of those books I've been meaning to get to. Or maybe go to a spa. Also, I have to pack for my move to New York. It'll be great to have that time to myself. Besides, I barely even celebrate Christmas anymore, it was never my kind of holiday" she lies, trying to save face and put her friend's conscience at ease.
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For some reason, she flashes back to that Christmas she and Steven spent together goofing off. Just ordering in Chinese food, playing board games and having sex. She even wore her cheerleader uniform for him and gave him a show. It wasn't traditional, but it was still one of the best holidays she's ever had.
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"Which reminds me, I should really get back home" she smiles. "Gotta go brush off my library card so I can get a jump start" she blows a kiss at the auburn-haired beauty as she plots a clean exit.
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December 13, 1981
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Steven Hyde closes the main register at the front end of the store and rubs his forehead. It's been a particularly busy holiday season and he's beat. All he wants to do is kick back at home with a cold one and put his feet up. The 'Rockin' Christmas carol record he's been playing non-stop in the shop has been putting him on edge and he's eager to enjoy the silence of his spare, one bedroom apartment. It may not be much to look at, but it's sure as hell better than walking around and watching all the corporate drones shopping frantically, gagging to shell out big bucks on presents for their ungrateful kids before the 24th rolls around. Yeah, those drones keep him in business, but he doesn't have to like them.
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With all of his friends and family gone, it's proven to be a lonely season, but he saw everybody at Thanksgiving and he's grateful for that. When he lived at home with Edna and Bud, his Christmas typically consisted of a frozen turkey dinner, a potted plant decorated with a lone ornament he made in Home-Ec class, and the regular absence of gifts. His mom always used to say she gave him the gift of life and that it should be good enough. You can't miss what you never really had, right?
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As he puts the last few stray items away he hears the jingle bells tied to the door ring out, signaling that a new customer has entered the store. He comes out from behind the desk to greet them. "Hey man, I'm sorry but we just closed. We're open tomorrow at 9am, if you want to come back then".
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As he looks at the man's face, he notices something is off. It's 25F degrees outside right now but the dude is sweating profusely and he's wearing nothing but a black turtleneck and dark jeans. No coat or anything. In Hyde's experience, this can only mean one of two things. Either the guy is flop sweating at a gambling table or he high on smack. Judging by the dilated pupils this guys' sporting, he's going to guess the latter.
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"Did you hear me man? We're closed, okay?" he repeats, as he starts to feel a nagging sense of dread tug at his gut.
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The stranger starts shaking a little and looks as though he's about to cry. Hyde's used to dealing with thugs, but this guy is too far gone and he's not too experienced with smackheads.
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Out of the blue, he hears a loud pop and a hot, searing pain shoots violently through his abdomen. He looks down at his body and notices blood seeping through his clothes.
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"Gimme the keys to the register!" the guy screams, as Hyde stares at himself in shock. "Hey! I want money! Gimme the keys!" he shouts again.
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Hyde looks at the thief with a mixture of confusion and sadness and tosses the keys in his hand to the floor, where he soon follows with a dull thud.
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Jackie is in bed and she can't sleep. It's only 11pm, but she's used to going to bed much earlier for work, so this is decidedly another bout of insomnia, something she's been struggling with a lot lately. She looks down at her book and realizes that she's read the same page about ten times now and still has no idea what it says.
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She places the book on the side table and walks to her kitchen, hoping that a glass of red wine might do the trick. Halfway through her pour, she hears the phone ring.
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Her face scrunches up. Who the hell could be calling her at this hour? Almost everybody she knows is out of town for the holidays and not too many people have her number.
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She lifts the receiver and is immediately taken aback by the faulty, crackling connection and the heavy breathing on the other end of the line. "Mom? Is that you?" she asks improbably. Pam has called exactly twice this year and one time was a mistake because she meant to dial somebody else's number.
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"Jackie, it's me" Eric says breathlessly.
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"Eric? Aren't you supposed to be in Jamaica or Belize or something?" she asks, completely confused but pleasantly surprised.
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"I am. Jackie listen to me. You have to go to the hospital right now. Everybody is out of town and something has happened to Hyde" he tells her, trying hard to keep his shit together.
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Jackie feels as though she must be dreaming. She's never heard Eric this nervous before and the thought of something happening to Hyde is just...
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"Jackie! Are you there?" he shouts into the phone.
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"Yeah. Yes. Sorry" she says, snapping out of it quickly. "Which hospital is he at?"
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"He's at Mercy. You have to leave now. He's really in trouble and you're the only one around" he pleads, his breathing ragged and pained.
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"I'll go. Of course, I'll go" she says as she kicks off her slippers.
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In the background, she can hear Donna speak "Oh thank God. She's going to go, Kitty, don't worry".
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"I'll leave a number on your machine where you can leave messages for us at the hospital, so please call us when you know something, okay?" he begs in a tight voice.
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Jackie nods frantically. "Of course" she says numbly.
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She can hear Eric moving closer to the phone as his breathing becomes louder. "I know this is the last thing you want to be doing but he needs you, and despite what you say, I know you still love him. Good luck, okay? Please call us when you know something".
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She manages to squeak out a weak "Bye" before dropping the phone completely and stares like a catatonic at her discarded, pink fuzzy slippers.
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Jackie thrusts money into the cab driver's hands and runs out of the car, nearly slamming the door on her pristine, white woolen coat. As she runs towards the ER, she feels herself falling faint at the thought of Steven being sick or injured. He's always been the strong one, the one who protects everybody else, and the idea of him helplessly lying in a hospital bed with nobody around who loves him is making her dizzy with worry.
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"I'm here for Steven Hyde" she rasps at the woman manning the front desk.
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"Hang on a second" she says as she thumbs through a roster with the names of those admitted and their illnesses. "Oh" she remarks as she locates his name. "The gunshot victim, right?"
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Jackie's hands rush to her mouth and stifle a sob. "No. No. That has to be a mistake. Check it again!" she yells angrily at the attendant.
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The woman's eyes soften as she realizes this is fresh news. "I'm sorry honey. Is he your boyfriend?"
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Jackie's face constricts violently as she cries silently into her hands, unable to emit any sound.
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The woman walks around the desk and wraps her arm around Jackie's shoulders. "It's okay honey, breathe deep. We don't need to admit two people in the ER" she jokes. "I'll take you to him".
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Reeling from shock, the woman shuffles Jackie about the vast and varied hallways of the hospital with little resistance or cooperation, much like an air hockey puck at an arcade.
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As she finally reaches her destination, the woman rubs the side of her arm and wishes her luck, before abandoning her outside of the hospital room.
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Jackie lifts her hand to the doorknob and is paralyzed with fear. Thoughts of grave damage or impending death strike her down like hail the size of golf balls, and she can't bring herself to confirm the reality of the situation by seeing him in the flesh.
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"Miss?" a man in a white coat approaches her from behind. "Are you the family of Steven Hyde?" he asks.
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Jackie nods silently, knowing how difficult it will be for her to gain access to him as only a friend. Or an ex-friend, for that matter.
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"Mr. Hyde was attacked in his store this evening by an armed robber, who shot him in the abdomen with a medium caliber weapon. We were able to stop the bleeding, but the angle of the gunshot caused the bullet to get lodged in his hip bone, so we had to operate to remove it. He got really lucky, because if it had been a few inches higher, we might be having an entirely different conversation right now" he explains.
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"Will he be okay?" she wonders nervously.
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"He's going to make it, but he'll need a lot of rehab. He won't be able to walk for a while, and when he does, he'll need crutches or a cane. He may always have a limp, it's too soon to tell" he continues, giving out all the details he can. "He did hit his head pretty hard on the way down and suffered a small hemorrhage, but we were able to treat it using drugs and we don't anticipate him needing surgery for it, but we'll need to keep an eye on that, just in case" he informs her. "He could have some memory loss or temporary loss of function in certain areas, but those symptoms should go away as the swelling in his brain decreases."
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Jackie blindly nods. After hearing the words 'he's going to make it' everything else has been a blur.
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"Would you like to see him?" he asks as he turns the handle of the door and ushers her inside.
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As she closes in on Steven's bedside, she's amazed at how peaceful he looks. Other than the tubes attached to his arm and sensors on his chest, he looks remarkably normal above the sheet.
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She walks ambivalently toward his sleeping form and plants herself in the chair next to him.
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"Should we be expecting anybody else?" the doctor wonders.
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Jackie shakes her head slowly. "It's just me."
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He smiles at the beautiful girl in the winter white coat, amazed at the great composure she has for someone of such a young age. "I'll leave you two alone and check on him in a little bit."
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"Thank you" she whispers as she turns her attention to the man in the bed.
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She swallows hard before lifting the sheet to search for his hand. She instantly catches site of the bullet wound area, which has been covered in sterile gauze, and is almost entirely soaked through with blood. She grabs his hand quickly and replaces the sheet, closing her eyes tightly to try to block out the image from her memory.
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She interlaces her fingers with his, which she finds incredibly bizarre knowing they haven't held hands in almost two years, yet here she is doing it without his knowledge. If she's being honest with herself, she's had fantasies in the past of sneaking into his room while he slept and doing just this.
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His hand is warm and feels just how she remembers. After two years of daily hand-holding, she's memorized everything about it from the weight of his hand to the roughness of his index finger and thumb from practicing the guitar. She brings his hand to her face and kisses it, sighing into his skin, which smells not like him, but a combination of antiseptics and adhesives from the tape keeping his IV in. As she puts his hand down, she's puzzled to discover that it's wet, though soon realizes that she's been crying the entire time she's been in there, but has been too shocked to notice.
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She runs her fingers gingerly along the bruise on his temple, where he struck his head and lets her hand wander into his curly hair. Bending over, she peppers his bruise with featherlight kisses and strokes his cheek. Part of her feels dirty touching him like this while he's unconscious. He'd probably be angry to know she was even there, much less touching him so intimately. Feeling as though she's already crossed a line, she figures it wouldn't hurt to steal a kiss - so she brushes her lips against his softly, just to remember how they feel.
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"Oh Steven" she weeps, holding his hand to her heart. "I was so scared. I know we don't have the best relationship right now, but I miss you" she whispers to him, before wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I just miss you."
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December 18, 1981
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Now stable enough to be moved out of the hospital, but still not fully conscious thanks to the heavy duty painkillers, Jackie and an orderly from the hospital move Hyde from the wheelchair into her the bed in her apartment.
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She had no choice. The hospital wanted to release him and he has nobody else in town to care for him, so she stepped up at the behest of Kitty Forman. She would've volunteered to do it for him regardless, though she's fairly certain he'd laugh in the face of anybody who asked him to do the same for her. But she's not him, which is a good thing, she reminds herself.
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She pays the orderly and looks over at the bag of medical supplies she's been given. Gauze, tape, antiseptic, painkillers and of course, the dreaded bedpan, which she anticipates will be the most awkward experience of either of their lives.
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Looking at him in the hospital gown, she feels suddenly very sad, knowing he'd be extremely embarrassed to wake up in her bed in this condition. She knows people are sick in the hospital, but do the gowns have to be so horribly depressing? She's convinced people would heal faster if they would look at something pretty. Building on that logic, she decides to give him a sponge bath to make him feel and look better, plus he's grimy and making her bedsheets disgusting. She assures herself those are the only reasons.
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Jackie fills a large bucket with slightly soapy warm water and approaches her patient. She tentatively pulls out all of the ties on his gown and sheds the cotton monstrosity to the floor. Starting with his hands, she rubs the soft sponge against his skin as she works her way around. As she reaches his chest, she starts to feel like a pervert. She's actually enjoying this and it's wrong, but he needs to be clean and she's the only one around to do it. You not Fez, she reminds herself.
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She runs a bare wet hand down the valley of his strong chest and sighs. God she misses feeling his chest pressed up against her back at night. She moves the sponge over his neck and back down the other side to his other arm and finally his face.
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Unsure if he's dreaming or not, Hyde wonders where the hell he is and what's happening to him. He would feel nervous and disoriented if the sensations and smells weren't so familiar to him. He recognizes the smell of cherries and lavender and the softness of the sheets, but his eyelids are too heavy to open, so he lies there like The Who's Tommy, experiencing everything around him by touch and smell.
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Jackie reaches into the bottom drawer of her dresser and lifts out a concert t-shirt. May as well make him feel comfortable. As she guides the t-shirt over his head and arms, she pulls it down and around his torso, careful not to let it touch his wound, which needs a fresh bandage.
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Jackie leans over the bed to grab the antiseptic that she left on the opposing side table, accidentally forcing her breasts into his face in the process.
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Hyde stirs and his hands reach up and instinctively feel her up. Even in his sleep he seems to know his way around a woman, which both impresses and disgusts her simultaneously. Her eyes widen in surprise as she slides them down her torso and back down by his sides.
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"Where am I?" he slurs almost incoherently. This is the moment she's been dreading. She not only has to explain to him what happened by also why the woman he loathes more than all others has her hands all over him and is caring for him in her bed.
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He remembers the scent, knowing it's not one he'll ever forget. Jackie. He'd know that smell anywhere, because he's never smelled anything like it before or since. Jackie. Why is he smelling her? He wonders for a moment if he's time traveled, died, or hallucinating. Those are the only reasons that might explain why he's smelling her again now, after being deprived of her scent for the last 18 months.
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"Shh shh shh" she tries to calm him, hoping not to alarm him in his weakened state. She strokes his hair the way she used to when they cuddled on the couch. Sometimes after a tough day, he'd make her do it until he passed out in her arms.
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God, the sensations are overwhelming him. The stroking, the smells, the weight of her breasts, this can't all be real. He must be dead. He has to be dead. "Am I dead?" he manages to slip out in a soft croak.
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"No. You're not dead" she almost feels like crying from happiness at being able to say that out loud to him. "You've just been hurt, but you're going to be okay" she asserts.
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His brows furrow with confusion. "Jackie?"
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She freezes for a moment, then continues stroking his hair. "Yeah Steven, it's me. I'm taking care of you."
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Through sheer will, he manages to pry his heavy lids open to look at her. As his eyes focus, her beautiful face, which he hasn't seen since it was tear-stained and swollen from his cruelty, appears before him as radiant as ever.
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"Welcome back" she says softly as she smiles half-heartedly.
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He watches her for a moment and takes in her form and his surroundings. "Is it really you?" he whispers through a parched throat.
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She nods and her smile finally spreads to her eyes. "It's me Steven. It's Jackie."
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He lifts one hand and runs it down her bare arm to make sure she's real, burning her skin with his thumb and smiles faintly. "Long time no see, doll."
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A/N – Finally some J/H interaction. I had to keep them apart to help them grow, but now you'll get what you came for, zennies! Hope it was worth the wait. Please review.
