Act I : XI

SSV Normandy

"Yeah, so long-story-short, my brain still hurts and Asari mind magic is only cool when you're not the one in the crosshairs…"

Tali'Zorah happily listened to Gabriel as he debriefed her personally on the Feros mission report; after all, she was unable to move and had nothing better to do.

"I still have no idea what the Cipher is, or how to use it, but apparently it is now in my head." Gabriel continued. "Honestly, I don't feel any different than before. I just have a huge headache now, if that counts?" Tali rolled her eyes, straining herself to make it obvious enough for Gabriel to notice. "Wow, you can't move a muscle, but somehow you can always manage to do something sassy…I don't know whether to be impressed or insulted." Gabriel laughed as he finished working on his omnitool, then stood up from his chair to approach Tali's pod. He brought his gaze to Tali's eyes and looked straight at her, now immediately serious and tense. Tali was almost worried at how quickly Shepard had changed his demeanour, and was waiting anxiously for him to say something. "Hey, listen…" Shepard said quietly. "I know we joke around a lot, but the reality of the situation is this: you almost died, Tali. It would have been my fault if you didn't make it. Mine. I don't know how close we were cutting it with you - and I don't WANT to know - but from here on out, we're going to be more careful. Doctor Chakwas is already reaching out to the Citadel to get our hands on more medical equipment suited for taking care of Quarians. When you're in better shape, we'll get your help adding to that shopping list. I'm not taking anymore chances with you, okay?" Shepard was silent for a few moments before he gently pressed his palm against the pod, and looked into Tali's eyes with unmistakable affection. Tali felt her cheeks heat up and silently hoped Gabriel would not notice that she was blushing. She wished she could reach out and press her hand against his, yearning for the soft touch of Gabriel's palm; however, she settled for longingly staring into his vibrant, hazel eyes, which seemed to swirl and glow as if they were liquid honey.

He cares about me.

Gabriel then abruptly snatched his palm away and quickly turned his head to the medbay door.

"Sorry", he muttered. "I didn't mean to get so unprofessional. I'm just…I'm really glad you're not dead. I can't handle another death on my conscience. I've already managed to get one of my crewmen killed, I'm not planning on adding to that list."

Is that all I am, Shepard? Just another crew member? I don't believe that.

Tali then decided to stop herself from thinking too hard on the subject. Regardless of how much she wanted Gabriel's affection towards her to be romantic, she knew it was unrealistic to hope for such a thing. Shepard was the Normandy's captain, which meant he HAD to care about his crew; otherwise, he would be a terrible captain. His interest in Tali would be purely platonic - no different than how he would care for Ashley, or Engineer Adams - and he would probably treat anyone else in the same manner if they were in this pod instead of her. Tali was nothing special to Shepard, she was just simply the one aboard the ship that required the most attention due to her medical condition. If she assumed Shepard's intent was anything other than the responsibility of a good captain, Tali would only prepare herself for disappointment. No matter how infuriatingly painful it would be, Tali needed to stop herself from interpreting Shepard's affection as romance.

If the universe had any amount of fairness inside it, Shepard would be a Quarian. Damn it all.

"Did anyone tell you about Jenkins?"

Shepard's question broke Tali's concentration on her internal dilemma and pulled her back to reality. She tried her best to bury all her thoughts and clear her head, choosing to focus on Gabriel instead. Even if Gabriel was not romantically interested in her, she still enjoyed having his attention. She blinked at the red light on her visor.

"Not at all, huh?" Shepard inquired. "Probably for the best, anyway. It wasn't exactly a pleasant story. Just like on Elysium when-

He immediately cut himself off mid-sentence and seemed to freeze, going completely still. Gabriel looked as if he had also stopped breathing, which caused Tali to become a combination of both worried, and curious. She waited for Gabriel to continue speaking for what seemed like hours, but he simply remained completely still and silent as a statue; in fact, the awkward silence was now even making Tali uncomfortable. She wished she had some way of grabbing Gabriel's attention, but all she could do was anxiously await his decision to continue talking.

"Nevermind", Shepard finally said. "Forget I said anything."

Seriously? All that tension for nothing?

Tali was quite irritated with her lack of closure on the subject, but was utterly surprised when Shepard began walking towards the exit.

"I should go", he mumbled. Tali heard a faint hiss as the auditory simulators in the pod emulated the magnetic seals of the medbay door closing. Her heart then sank as she realized Shepard had left her alone, with the exception of Doctor Chakwas who was in her office.

What was that all about?

/

"How's Tali doing, Commander? The Doc won't let anyone into the medbay to say hi to her. Is she okay?"

Commander Gabriel Shepard stared down at his lunch tray and mindlessly poked at his broccoli with his fork, oblivious to both his meal and the conversation carrying on around him. Truth be told, he was not hungry, but attempted to clear his mind in the mess hall with the rest of the crew. The mess hall was one of the few places where rules and regulations seemed to be overlooked. Officers would behave like grunts fresh out of the academy, and grunts in turn would tease and harass their superiors without any fear of disciplinary action. It was more than a break and meal area, it was a common room where everyone was an equal - regardless of name or rank - after all, everyone needed to eat, and the atmosphere was more suited for a dysfunctional family gathering, than a military cafeteria. Gabriel, and every other soul aboard the Normandy, felt at HOME when everyone was gathered in the mess hall. Unfortunately, the Commander had a lot on his mind, and the mess hall did not feel the same at this point in time.

"Commander?"

Gabriel looked up from his tray to see Kaidan looking at him expectantly, along with everyone else sitting at the table.

"Sorry, what was the question?" Gabriel muttered.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Garrus questioned, eyeing Gabriel curiously with a small twitch in his mandibles.

"Yeah, yeah", Gabriel answered. "My bad, what was the question?"

"Is Tali alright?" Kaidan repeated.

"It's difficult to say", Gabriel mumbled. "She's in a medical stasis pod, so she's unable to move, but from everything Doctor Chakwas is telling me and seeing her for myself, I think she'll be back to normal soon."

"She's tough, for a tiny little Quarian", Wrex added while leaning back in his chair, which creaked under his weight. "She took a good, old fashioned Krogan headbutt and survived, which is something even some Krogan can't brag about. I wouldn't worry about her."

But I DO worry about her…

"Commander, are you sure you're okay?" Ashley demanded. "With all due respect, you look like how I did when I lost my unit on Eden Prime. I'm sorry if that's out of line, but you don't look too good." Gabriel realized he must have allowed his worries to show on his face. He tried his best to shrug and look as casual as possible.

"Yeah, don't worry Ashley, I'm fine", Gabriel lied. "Just thinking about Saren."

"So…Alenko…" Joker said, with a very mischievous tone in his voice. "What does she look like under that mask? Does she have tentacles? I'm betting on tentacles! Or spikes instead of eyebrows? Or is she actually a machine or something?"

"Come on, Joker", Kaidan pleaded. "Is that any of our business? I don't understand Quarians at all, so are we even allowed to know what they look like without masks? What if it's some cultural taboo thing and we're not supposed to be talking about this? Besides, I didn't actually see her without her mask on, so I can't answer that anyway.. Why don't you ask Chakwas? Or the Commander?"

"Well…Commander?" Joker continued, now turning his playfully evil smile over to Gabriel. "Care to satisfy my curiosity? What does Tali look like? Come on, I promise I won't tell!" The entire table had now gone silent and anxiously awaited Gabriel's answer: even Wrex was looking over at him intently.

"Ummm…" Gabriel stuttered, now feeling his cheeks and ears turning red. "I'm with Kaidan on this one…I don't know if I'm allowed to tell anyone. I feel like that would be breaking Tali's trust. Sorry, but you guys will have to get your answers directly from her." A huge resounding groan echoed throughout the mess hall as everyone made their disappointment heard.

"Mutiny!" Wrex barked. "I call mutiny! Let's airlock him!"

"Yeah, I second that!" Joker shouted. "Mutiny!"

"Calm down, Joker!" Ashley said as she rolled her eyes. "You'd probably break an arm trying to stage a mutiny."

"That's not inaccurate", Joker chuckled. "I'll just let Wrex do the dirty work, then install myself in the captain's chair and take all the credit! Ha! Anyway…awww come on, Commander. At least tell me if there's tentacles under there!"

"Fine", Gabriel sighed. "There's no tentacles."

"Damn it!" Joker exclaimed, before joining the rest of the table in laughter and more banter. Gabriel knew he would not finish his meal, so he stood up from the table and walked over to the small kitchen. As he discarded his food into the waste disposal chute, he saw Navigator Pressly in his peripheral vision put his own food tray into the sink.

"I've seen you with that look in your eyes a few times, Commander", Pressly said very softly. "You were thinking about Elysium again, weren't you?" Gabriel felt his entire body tense at the sound of the word 'Elysium' and his heart sank. "You can always talk about it with me, Commander. I'm here anytime you need me; after all, I lost my sister and nephew on that horrible day, just like you lost your-

"I should go", Gabriel sternly interrupted, causing Pressly to immediately close his mouth. "Thank you, Pressly. But that's enough." Gabriel left his unwashed tray on the counter and quietly rushed towards his private quarters, sealing the door behind him.

Elysium is the absolute last thing I want on my mind.