REMEMBER HOW I PROMISED SMUTTY-SMUT?...YEA I LIED! JKJK ITS COMING...EVENTUALLY :)


I woke up with tear crusted eyes and a stained face. My body hurt and I had a killer headache. Slowly I shrugged out of my half-awake state and took a look at my surroundings. I wasn't in my house that's for sure. But at least the room looked familiar.

I've for sure been here before but I couldn't remember where exactly 'here' was.

Until that is, I looked down.

There nestled up next to me was Orihara Izaya.

Panic shot through my body like a bolt of lightning. I stifled a scream and frantically looked around. I was definitely in his bed and not somewhere seedier. I slowly sat up my stiff body and I felt the covers fall off my bare breasts.

Heart pounding in my chest I looked under the covers and saw that we were both completely naked.

I felt tears begin to drip on my already tear streaked face. Bits of memory from last night bubbled to the conscious surface. My mind was waking up.

In my mind's eye I saw flutters of yesterday.

My mother's death, hiding from the world, Izaya's twisted self wrapping around mine, fighting him, and then submitting, I also began to taste my emotions again. They all foamed a slick coating over my tongue; horror, disgust, terror, hate, rage, pleasure, and then an overwhelming sadness.

I choked on a sob and then flinched away, fearing Izaya would awaken and…

And…what?

My fear spiked, I wiped at my tears and slowly crawled out of bed.

I had to get away. I had to leave before he woke up. Hastily I grabbed the clothes lying on the floor and put them on.

Nearly tripping over the pant sleeves, I slipped my feet into the shoes I had left here and ran out the door.


I ended up grabbing Izaya's Jacket and pants. My hair and face were a messed so I pulled the hood on and jumped into a mass group of people traffic.

My heart rate was still beating erratically so I focused on walking and breathing. Just walking and breathing. But the tears wouldn't stop pouring from my eyes.

Everything that happened yesterday…it all really hurt. Even though my memory was still fuzzy I felt that everything had hurt. I rubbed my thighs. They were sore.

I half smiled to myself and licked the tears that coated my lips. So I had really 'done it'? And with Orihara Izaya no less. Normally, I figured, a woman would be worried about becoming pregnant. But I knew for a fact that Izaya would never be careless enough to get a woman pregnant.

I momentarily let my mind wander and think about what it's be like to be with his child. I placed both hands on my belly and imagined a life living inside of it. The tears began to fall more rapidly. Wiping at them I turned a corner into an alley and rested against the wall.

"I'm so stupid." I said to myself. I clamped my eyes shut tightly and pressed my head against my drawn up knees.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!" I cried in that alley way. I cried for my innocence that I had lost and I cried for the life I would never bring into this world. And I cried for Izaya Orihara, I cried for him the most.

I cried for the ignorance he cloaked himself in. He will never know my true feelings toward him.

In the short amount of time I've spent by his side. He had somehow become my God.

I worshiped him, feared him, and most of all I loved him.

So I sat in that alleyway, a pathetic blubbering mess, until the tears refused to fall.


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