Unofferable
CHAPTER 12: AFTERMATH
Playlist: "Claire de Lune" — Claude Debussy, "Leave A Trace" — CHVRCHES, "The Girl With the Flaxen Hair" — Jacques Rouvier, "Nature Boy - Acoustic" — AURORA
They weren't walking long before they stumbled across another shop. From the sign, it was referred to as a 'vintage second-hand' shop. Upon stepping inside, it became clear that said shops made their living reselling goods donated by their previous owners. Frigga immediately wandered about the place, inspecting the jewellery and trinkets on offer. The shop owner was quite friendly when they entered, encouraging them to give him 'a shout' if they saw anything they liked. Fen and Sevda were discussing some of the ornaments displayed within glass cases. Loki found himself gazing over a stack of journals. He was surprised to find some of them were still in good condition and had yet to be written in. A plain black notebook grabbed his attention and he picked it up to inspect its state. As he flicked through its clean pages, an idea struck him. He hung on to the journal to purchase later and was browsing through a massive stack of novels for anything semi-interesting when Ellie called him.
He approached to see her standing in front of a vinyl record player with two small speakers.
"Check it out," she exclaimed. "It's not as fancy as the one you guys have in the library, but it's really nice lookin'."
"That it is," he agreed and ran his free hand over its dusty cover. "It doesn't look as though it's been used for some time."
"That old thing?" the owner asked as he walked by carrying a heap of clothes. "It doesn't work, mate. Think it's summint to do with the wiring. We were just 'olding it for parts."
Ellie looked disappointed at the man's statement. "That's a shame. I bet it used to sound great."
"You can take it if you fancy trying to fix it. I was going to throw it out soon anyway. No one is picking it up."
Loki looked at the girl who had turned and given him her best sad eyes. "I might be able to do something to power it. How much would it cost?"
"Nofhing," the owner replied. "Just take the thing. It's lovely, but it's not doing anything useful just sitting in here. I'll get a bag for you."
"Thank you so much, sir!" Ellie said delightedly as the man set down the clothes and carried the record player and speakers up to the till. "Prince Loki, am I allowed to buy some records? I exchanged some of my wages for Midgardian currency, so I can pay for them myself."
"You do not need my permission to spend your wages," he replied indifferently. "It's not my place to tell you what you should do with it. I suppose it is reasonable to purchase records to go with your player."
Ellie looked up at him in surprise. "… My record player?"
"Obviously. You might as well take it to use as you please. It means you won't always have to go to the library to listen to music."
The girl didn't move. She was rooted in the spot, simply staring at him in what seemed like innocent wonder. "And you would…fix it for me?"
"I'll power it with seiðr," he explained. "In the same way the one in the library is powered. Why are you making that face?"
"It's just really nice of you," she answered and rubbed her arm shyly. "And I appreciate the gesture."
He shrugged casually. "Yes, well, it would go to waste otherwise."
"Well while you're so adamant about avoiding the compliment, I'll just say 'thank you' and keep it simple."
"If you insi—"
"But can I give you a hug?"
Loki groaned aloud. "By the Norns!"
"I know you're kinda weird about physical contact—"
"You can't be serious?"
"Hug the girl, Loki!" Fen ordered from her position. "And stop being such a brat!"
His eyes nearly fell out of his head at her complete lack of decorum. "Did you just call me a brat?"
"I can call you what I want down here; I am older than you."
Frigga laughed — actually laughed — at her handmaiden's statement. Ellie, however, kept a passive expression in an effort to win him over. With an impatient roll of the eyes, he allowed her to embrace him tightly.
"Thank you, Loki."
"You're welcome, little one."
After another meal that evening, the group returned to Asgard via Heimdall opening the Bifröst for them once more. Upon their arrival, they were informed that Thor and Odin had yet to return, although all was going as planned on their end. This news brought them all a nice sense of relief. Ellie was delighted with the day she had and hurriedly rushed off to bring her new (old) record player and records to her shared living quarters. She purchased two — a classical piece by Debussy and another by a band called Sister Sledge that she was quite fond of. Loki hung on to the notebook he bought and chose not to reveal it to Ellie until their next lesson.
"Thank you for today," she said as she stood up from her seat. "I'll be sure to get through the work you set out. I'll start it tomorrow after my duties."
"There is one more thing," he replied from his own chair. "Sit back down."
She blanched for a brief moment, before slowly taking a seat. "D-did I do somethin' wrong?"
"No, why would you think that?"
"You've never asked me to stay back after a lesson, so I assumed I fucked somethin' up."
"Well, your language is appalling."
She chortled at that. "That's rich! I've heard you say far worse."
He grinned widely and said. "I am a god; I do what I want."
"Of course you do…"
"Relax yourself, little one. You've done nothing wrong. I have something for you."
Without further adieu, he pulled out the notebook from a stack of books on the table and passed it to her.
"A book?" she asked warily.
"No, it's a shoe."
The peevish look on her face brought him great joy. "I stand by what I said on Midgard; you are an arse."
"I just gave you a gift and here you are calling me an arse. Midgard has ruined you. You have no respect."
"Why would I respect you when I can verbally degrade you instead?"
He shook his head slowly, but still laughed at her answer. "You are taking after me too much. It is worrying. But putting that briefly aside, I got this notebook for you in that vintage shop."
She flicked through its pages curiously. "I didn't even notice you buyin' it…"
"You were distracted with your own dusty find."
"So… do you want me to use it for seiðr notes?"
He shook his head and leaned forward in his seat, his elbows resting on his knees. "It's not for seiðr. It's for your own personal use." When she looked quite confused, he continued on. "Back on Midgard, when you explained what had happened to you at the hands of your father, you briefly mentioned that you were extremely close with your mother and brother. But because of your father's behaviour, memories from your childhood have been marred with everything negative and traumatic he did to your family. I think it's important for you to hold on to what good memories you have from your life in Ireland. You might forget them as you get older, but—" He tapped the cover of the notebook held in her grasp. "—you won't if you write them down. Think of it as a diary for positive memories. You should not let your sorry excuse of a father ruin what happy memories you have with your mother and brother. So write what you can remember down, no matter how small a thing it may seem. You will be able to go back through this notebook in years to come and hold memories of your family close to you."
"Loki…" Ellie was stunned. Visibly so. She ran her hand over its front cover with a newfound fondness that warmed his heart. "This is… I don't really know what to say. I wasn't expectin' it at all. You didn't have to do this."
"I am aware," he admitted. "But I know I cannot do much about what happened to you as a child. At least I can help you with the future."
"You have helped me," she assured him and reached out to hold on to one of his wrists. "Sure, you were a brazen sort at first, but you have become a good friend and teacher in my time on Asgard. I owe your mother my life, but you've also made my life here far easier. I'm aware that some of the Aesir don't want me here 'cause of how I'm mortal and stuff, but you guys make me feel more welcome."
"This is your home. No matter what some people may tell you. As you said on Midgard, we are your family."
"I'm really glad that you's are." She smiled at him before releasing her hold on him. "Thank you for the gift, Loki."
"You're welcome, Ellie," he replied and got to his feet. "But I have kept you long enough. You have duties to attend to tomorrow. I'll accompany you to your chambers."
His statement left her mildly taken aback as she followed his lead and stood up. "You don't need to do that."
"I do. I will not have you wandering the halls alone at night after the incident in the markets. This is not up for debate."
"I know I argue with you a lot, but I won't even attempt to argue about this."
"Wise words. Come, it is late."
Loki made his way from the library, Ellie close at his side. The usual batch of Einherjar patrolled the halls at night, acknowledging the prince as he passed. He offered his companion his arm and she held on to it gladly as they walked through the candle-lit corridors.
In the silence, Ellie's hushed voice cut through the air. "I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with H."
"Please tell me it isn't 'hall'?" he groaned. "That would be terribly lazy of you."
"Nope," she said proudly, popping the P for effect.
He eyed an Einherji, who stood guard beside a pillar, as they passed him by, then smirked and clicked his fingers. "Helm."
Ellie groaned and mumbled. "Dammit… Alright, fair win. That was an easy one though."
"I will be sure to give you a very difficult one. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with G."
"G?" she asked incredulously. "Alright, be difficult then…" She looked around, shameless racking her eyes over ever detail in the hall. "Guard?"
He shook his head.
She paused. "Girl?"
He shook his head again and smiled delightedly.
Another pause — longer this time — before she spoke. "Oh! Gold?"
"Correct. Took you long enough."
"Alright, pal. Considerin' you're even more arrogant than usual today; I spy, with my little eye, something being with D."
"Demigod."
"Nope," she laughed, delighting in his failure. "Try again."
And Loki did try again, giving multiple guesses that were all dismissed by the mortal. She seemed happy from 'outsmarting' him, even though he just saw it as a simple game. That being said, he didn't mind losing a few rounds if it put a smile on her face. He knew it was only in jest.
"You are going to have to tell me," he quipped as they reached the door to the living area of Frigga's handmaidens. "It would be quite unfair to leave me hanging in suspense."
"Does that mean you give up?" she asked, squinting her eyes.
"If it means you will tell me what blasted word you picked, then I guess I do, yes."
Making sure the guards were out of earshot, she reached up on her tippy toes and whispered. "Dickhead."
Loki could only stare, his expression of mix of visible pride and surprise. "Your vocabulary is entertainingly foul for a fourteen year old mortal."
"At least I'm not a dickhead. Even if you are actually really nice and a good friend."
He held up a finger. "Excuse you, but I prefer the term 'little shit'. I just gave you a gift and this is how you repay me."
"I learn from the best," she grinned and gave his arm a squeeze.
"Get to bed," he ordered, pushing her towards the doors. "Before you give me a headache."
She stood in front of the doors for a moment before turning and addressing him again. "Before I go, you know I'm just teasin', right? I really do appreciate the diary."
Sensing the shift in tone and noticing the slight squint in her eyes, he nodded his head and gave her a genuine smile. "I know, little one. Sleep well."
"You too, Prince Loki."
With that, she disappeared behind the doors and left Loki in the silent corridor. Alone bar the statue-like Einherjar, he took his time strolling back to his quarters, enjoying his own company and the hushed world around him.
Ellie's body was slammed into the dust. Loki stood above her, less than impressed.
"What have I told you," he began, wiping his sweaty brow. "About focusing too much on disabling the weapon arm and leaving yourself open to being tackled?"
"Not to do it," she grunted, lying flat on her back and shooting him a glare.
"So don't," he snapped. "Get up."
The young woman did as instructed, hopping back on to her feet and catching her breath. Gently she wiped her daggers on her thigh. "What kinda nameday present is this?"
He raised his brow. "I completed my duties early and asked Fen to cover yours so that you could get some one-on-one training with a master of dual-wielding daggers, and you are questioning the value of your gift?"
She shrugged. "I mean, a new deck of cards would have been nice…" When he shot her a glare, she started laughing. "That was a jest! Obviously I appreciate you trainin' me."
"Then disarm me properly this time," he replied and took a defensive stance once more. With a wave of his hands, he conjured his daggers. "Also, it is not my fault you wore out your last deck of playing cards."
Ellie nodded, daggers in hand, and then flew at him.
The pair had been in the closed training yard for an hour, practicing hard at Loki's insistence. He had noticed some small flaws Ellie had picked up and was determined to knock them out of her. He also wanted her to practice fighting against someone also wielding daggers. Lady Sif had done well the past few years training the mortal with the bow and teaching her how to fight a sword-wielder, but another dagger-wielder was a different situation entirely. It was a fight that got close and personal, and far more violent and intense if emotions were involved. It was common place to include wresting moves in the fight, so they had both been tackled to the ground multiple times within the hour. She had a good concept of anatomy thanks to Sif's lessons — she knew where to hit and where to avoid — but her physical strength needed to be improved. Even if she was mortal, that would be no excuse if it was a life or death situation. So, he had her training as hard as possible. He also encouraged her using seiðr when fighting to give her a small advantage over others.
In the midst of sparring, Ellie rolled away from Loki to swiftly catch her breath. As they circled each other, he said. "What do you do to disable an opponent?"
"Cut tendons, muscles, or ligaments," she answered confidently, slashing at his again.
He dodged her attack. "Where do you slash to disarm your opponent's attacking hand?"
"Inside the wrist or elbow."
"And?"
"The back of the knee, if possible."
They took regular breaks, and rightly so in his opinion. While he wanted to train her hard, he didn't want to exhaust her. He reminded himself constantly that she was significantly weaker than him.
Once again, they were in close quarters. He blocked all of her slashes as planned and praised her when her swiftness and accuracy improved. There were times (however few and far between) when she got the best of him, even if he didn't enjoy admitting it. When he took a moment to praise her footing, he wasn't prepared for her to kick his own feet out from under him with the assistance of seiðr. He landed roughly on his back as she appeared above him and held her dagger to his neck.
"That good?" she asked, breathing heavily as she kept him down. Her face was masked in shimmering sweat, but her lips still managed to form a tired smile.
He stared up at her in disbelief. "You cheated."
"It was you who told me that in battle the cheaters win."
"That I did," he agreed and allowed his own daggers to vanish. "Good work."
"Loki!"
They both looked over to the edge of the training yard as Thor came bounding down the steps.
"Bested by a mortal girl?" Thor observed as he approached the pair, Ellie still with her knee on his chest to keep him down. "Either Ellie is a fantastically quick learner, or you are terrible, brother."
"Shut up, you oaf," Loki growled as they both got back to their feet.
"Happy nameday, Ellie," Thor boomed and pulled the young woman into a crushing hug. "How old are you now? Ten? The big One-Oh?"
"I'm seventeen, Thor…"
"Ah, same thing really."
"There's a difference between bein' ten and seventeen!" she insisted, half laughing at his comment.
"Either way, I come bearing gifts because I am the best gift-giver in this realm."
Loki groaned aloud and pinched the bridge of his nose. "By the Norns…"
"Ta-da!" Thor held out massive closed fist and opened it to reveal a pack of brand new playing cards. "Here you are, Ellie!"
Loki clenched his jaw and looked away as she thanked Thor profusely for his 'thoughtful' gift. He knew for a fact that there was no possible way his older brother was that thoughtful. If he knew his family well — which he thought he did — he assumed his mother had something to do with this. While he enjoyed seeing Ellie so happy, it irked him that Thor was the one to have caused it.
"That is not all, either," Thor continued, looking exceptionally proud of himself.
"No?" Ellie asked, clearly surprised.
"We are going to a tavern for a drink."
Loki locked his gaze on his brother instantly. "No."
Both Thor and Ellie looked over in confusion when the growl came from him.
"What?"
He quickly crossed his arms. "You are not bringing her to a tavern."
"And why not? This is a day for celebrations! And you are coming with us, brother. As well as the Warriors Three and Lady Sif."
Breathing harshly through his nose, Loki didn't even bother resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, because I am sure your friends are very eager to celebrate her nameday. It is not safe, Thor."
"Hey," Ellie said gently and placed a hand on his forearm. "It's okay, Loki. I'll be with you and you always keep me safe. I've never been to a tavern before and it could be fun. Where is the harm in tryin' new things?"
"You see?" Thor insisted, throwing a large arm around her shoulder. "She speaks the truth! Let us celebrate together tonight."
Loki, completely ignoring his brother's rambling, stared at her hopeful expression. The little smile and wide shining eyes were not something with which he enjoyed arguing. He found himself quite unwilling to disappoint her. He knew that she was curious as to how a tavern was run and that that was most likely why she wanted to experience it. He had to reassure himself that it was not because she preferred Thor's company over his. Eventually, he relented. "Alright, if you really want to, we will go, little one. But you are to remain by my side for the whole night, is that clear? And you will not be drinking any ale."
She was nodding before he had even finished his sentence. "Yes, of course."
Thor let out a very childlike groan. "Loki, you are no fun…"
"We will see you tonight, Prince Thor!" Ellie said cheerily, and gently ushered him back the way he came when she noticed the twitching in Loki's eye.
"We will meet at the stables at sundown!" he shouted as he ran up the steps and disappeared inside the palace.
Loki watched as Ellie turned to face him, grinning wryly. "I know you don't like their company—"
"Only because they despise mine… And because they are rather boring."
"Then we will just talk together." She fiddled with her daggers in her hands nervously, hopping slightly from foot to foot. "Don't mind them, My Prince. We can always act how we usually do in each other's company, just in a different settin' with more people."
"By 'different', I'm assuming you mean 'louder and sweatier'."
She giggled. "If that is how taverns are, then yes. I'm sure Prince Thor means well, so let's just embrace it for the time being. I love the library and the gardens as much as you do, but maybe a brief change in scenery won't hurt, right?"
He sighed slowly, eyes fixed on her nervous hands. "Fine, but only because it is your nameday."
"Great!" she cheered and clapped her hands together. "Will we continue on with trainin'?"
"Yes," was his firm reply as the daggers reappeared in his grasp. "Get your defensive stance ready."
Sometime later, Loki and Ellie met Thor at their rendezvous. The horse ride to the tavern was quite short, but Loki had noticed the young woman admiring the changing light and how it affected the golden buildings of Asgard from her seat behind him. He made sure to keep his horse at a slow trot so she had more time to enjoy the surroundings.
The tavern was pleasantly quiet when they arrived, but the Warriors Three and Lady Sif began to hoot and holler at the sight of them. Thor shouted back, greeting them by slapping them hard on the back, while Loki and Ellie slid into their seats at one end of the table. The God of Mischief was quick to grab some of the food on the table — most of which was centred in front of the ever ravenous Volstagg — and made up a plate for Ellie to eat. She thanked him when he placed it before her and got to working on his own.
"My dear friends," Thor boomed, effortlessly grabbing their attention. He quickly raised his overflowing tankard in the air. "To little Ellie, on her nameday."
His friends mimicked the gesture and wished her well.
While Loki found the whole thing painfully awkward, Ellie seemed to be enjoying herself. She just laughed when Thor placed a full tankard in front of her and politely requested some water instead. He was happy to see her keeping her end of the bargain, as well as spending most of her time talking with Loki as per usual. Sif was friendly enough to ask how her training was going, even if the gesture was probably done in order to remain on Thor's good side. As the evening rolled on, the tavern got busier as patrons poured in off the streets. Most were pleasantly surprised to see the Princes and warriors there and sent them pleasant greetings. With more customers came more noise, more drink, and some entertainment. Loki watched, half empty tankard in his relaxed grasp, as a group of bards began some musical numbers. He was not surprised to see Ellie's attention transfixed on them as well. With an accompaniment of a guitar and cello, a female vocalistic began to sing:
There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he.
At the table, Hogun sat passively and drank away as Volstagg spoke animatedly with him. Fandral sat with a giggling woman perched in his lap. Thor and Sif were chatting idly and asking a server for more drinks when he approached their seats.
And then one day
One magic day he passed my way
While we spoke of many things
Fools and Kings
This he said to me:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return."
From his seat, Loki noticed a group sitting near the performers. He did not realise at first why his eyes had drifted to their table, but it became clear when he noticed them watching him very closely. Some looked away when they realised he had spotted them, but others remained fixed in their seats. He recognised none of them and would have taken no notice had they not been whispering to each other. Obviously, he was the topic up for discussion. Upon watching where they were peering for longer, it became clear that the innocent Ellie, who still observed the bards delightedly, was also being spoken of.
There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he.
When they started laughing, he leaned back in his seat and set his drink down loudly. It grabbed their attention from across the tavern and some of them quickly shut their mouths. One or two, who seemed more intoxicated than the others, persisted. The evening so far had brought the no trouble, and he wished it could have remained so, but evidently, these men were not impressed with their being here. So he sat, not moving a muscle, not saying a word, just staring at the men with an expression he usually reserved for those he hunted in battle. It was a clear signal to them: dare try anything and they would wind up bloodied like Elof and Bjorn at his hands. All noise and the goings-on in the place became irrelevant to him as his attention became solely focused on the drinking group. Slowly, their chatter died down and they returned to hushed whispers, turning their own attention away from him and back to each other. Cowering like mice, Loki smirked to see them backing down. He would not hesitate to set them right if needs be. Still, even though they had seemingly taken note of his warning, he could not banish the horrible chill that crept up his spine. The fact he had caught them looking at the young woman with such distain worried him deeply. If anyone at his own table noticed his behaviour, no one passed comment for some time.
Without moving his gaze, he heard a whisper from his side. Ellie had apparently discerned his behaviour. "Are you alright, Loki?"
"Just fine, little one," he assured her, unmoved. "Go back to enjoying your music."
And then one day
One magic day he passed my way
While we spoke of many things
Fools and Kings
This he said to me:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return."
The song came to an end and the crowd erupted into drunken applause. They screamed for more and another song began like clockwork. The rest of the night passed without incident. As Loki noticed that some customers were getting passed the stage of acceptable drunkenness, he finished his drink and called it a night. Ellie didn't argue with him when he informed her that they would be returning to the palace.
Thor argued their departure with a heavy slur, obviously. "But the night is yet young, brother!"
"As is Ellie," Loki deadpanned. "So I am bringing her back to the palace."
"I had fun, Prince Thor," she assured him and rushed over to give him a hug. "But I am pretty wrecked and fit for bed."
"Alright then, be boring!" He ruffled her hair with a dopey grin, emphasising his jesting, and turned his attention back to the new drink placed before him.
As the pair grabbed their cloaks and headed towards the door, a gruff voice from across the room cut through all the chatter and music.
"Bringing your whore back to your chambers, Princeling?"
Almost instantly, all of the noise died down.
Loki stopped in his tracks, hand on the door ready to push it open.
Ellie automatically stepped closer beside him.
When he shouted again, the whole place became silent. "I said, are you taking your mortal whore back to bed?"
There's always some fool with a loose tongue eager to make an impression.
Loki turned on his feet slowly and instantly found the man that had an apparent death wish. He knew where he was sitting after all — he had watched him and his friends for some time that night. The Trickster said nothing, green eyes piercing into this stranger as the idiot actually raised his tankard to him.
"What did you say?" Thor suddenly barked, his chair screeching as he stood up. "What did you say, you piece of shit?"
Before the eldest Odinson could get anywhere near the abuser, Loki reached beneath his cloak and gripped a small handle. With a flick of his arm, he hurled a knife across the tavern.
He hit his target; the man's raised hand.
The tankard clattered on to the table as ale spilled everywhere.
The knife imbedded itself — and the hand — into the nearby wall with a resounding thump.
The scream that tore through him was almost as instantaneous as the blood splatter.
"Ellie," Loki ground out. "Go to Sif, now."
She obeyed without any hesitation and was at Sif's side as the customers descended into shocked uproar. Whether the commotion was directed at himself or the man currently staring at his ruined hand on a wall, Loki didn't care. He was too focused on reaching his now trapped prey, whose friends had quickly scattered. One or two remained, too shocked to move from their seats.
He grabbed the knife's handle with one hand and the heckler's throat with the other.
A blubbering mess already, he was quick to beg for his life. "Please, please—!"
"Say that again," Loki growled dangerously and squeezed his throat hard. "Say it. Say it so that I can thoroughly enjoy squeezing the very life from you!"
All his victim could do was choke as tears streamed down his scarred cheeks and into his thick beard. His free hand desperately clutched at Loki's wrist, but could not stop the crushing pressure the god was slowly putting on his neck.
Only when Thor called his name did he pay any attention elsewhere. "Loki! Take Ellie back to the palace and let us handle this!"
Although it took all of his self control to release his throat, he knew the little one could not remain here and that his brother was speaking sense despite the amount of ale he had consumed. He doubted this display was nice for her to witness either. After all, she was his main concern. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the knife, twisted it slowly, and then tore it from the hand without any care for causing less damage, watching in delight as the man wailed in agony. He stared at his now completely useless hand, holding on to his wrist with the other as his panicking eyes bulged from his head.
"Speak another word to her," Loki dared him. "And I will kill you, I promise."
The spectators said nothing as he walked to Ellie's side, wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, and gently ushered her from the quiet tavern. He helped her on to the horse, frowning at her forlorn expression, but assured her that she did nothing to deserve the abuse. She didn't give him a verbal response, but acknowledge him with a slight nod. While their ride back to the stables was marred with uneasy silence, for once, Loki was happy to leave his older brother a task he knew he could handle.
Still, it did nothing to ease the nagging in his head that Ellie's treatment would only get worse if nothing was done soon. For the rest of the evening, he did not let her leave his sight until she was safely in her sleeping quarters.
