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Chapter 12

Sookie's POV Monday Morning

I slowly begin to wake and become aware of my surroundings. I'm sure it is late in the morning. I can feel that I have slept a long time. It feels wonderful. I had a great weekend. It all started with Friday night. After Mr. C. left I was able to get a peaceful nights rest. I had the most amazing dreams. I can only remember parts of them. It was like I was seeing them from someone else's eyes. The happier I was in my dream the happier the narrator became. I'm not sure who was this narrator was but boy did they send off some happy vibes. I could almost feel them looking and smiling at me. It was strange to say the least, but compared to some of the nightmares I have had. I will take these dreams any day!

I got a lot of work done around the house and even got some tanning time in out in the back yard. It has been some time since I spent any time out there. I was still uncomfortable being outside by myself. I always felt as if someone was going to come and hurt me or kidnap me. Geez! I am so paranoid. I have done well and was able to keep my word to Mr. C. No sleeping pills for me. I originally started taking them to stop the nightmares. I couldn't keep reliving the torture of thing one and thing two.

I was currently relaxing on my old sofa when the phone rang.

"Hello"

"Hello Sookie! This is Mr. C. How are you this afternoon?"

"I am doing well Mr. C. How are you?"

"I am fine my dear. I am calling to let you know I will be sending Dr. Ludwig to see you in a little while, if that is ok with you?"

"Yes that should be fine. Is she going to help me to understand the spark and the magic suppressing the bond?"

"That is exactly why I have her coming out to meet with you Sookie. I also want to let you know I have a meeting this evening and I will be out of reach if you should need to talk to me. I know you may have some questions about what you and Doctor Ludwig discuss today. I will be available tomorrow any time if you have any questions or needs"

"Oh that is fine. I understand you have obligations. I will call you tomorrow if I have any questions. I promise!"

"Wonderful. If you don't have questions and still want to call me just to let me know how it went today that would be fine as well"

"Thank you, I might just do that!"

"I also wanted to let you know that all of your financial tasks will be taken care of by the end of the day today. Your paperwork with Mr. Merlotte will cease to exist as well. If we could meet on Wednesday I will have more information on your other issues that need to be addressed."

"I will be available. I am going to make my decision on where I would like to go on vacation tomorrow. I will make sure you have all those details on Wednesday."

"Perfect. Sookie, you sound so much more lighthearted today. May I ask if something happened that lifted your spirits this weekend?"

"Oh Mr. C. I am sorry I was such a weepy willa the other night. I did have a good weekend. I relaxed and slept a lot. You will be happy to hear that I did not need a sleeping pill all weekend. I had very happy dreams too. I'm not sure but, I just feel a little better. I don't feel 100% but I do feel more at ease."

"I'm very glad to hear that dear. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it! I will be available tomorrow; please do not hesitate to call. I'm sure all will go well when you meet with Doctor Ludwig. Ask her anything you like she is at your disposal."

"Thanks again and I will talk to you soon"

"Dr. Ludwig will call you before she comes out. Good day Sookie"

"Good bye Mr. C."

Oh Doctor Ludwig is coming and now I need to head off to shower. Yikes! I didn't think I would be having anyone out here today. I'm glad I cleaned. Mr .C. said she would call first, maybe I'll soak in the tub.

Mr. C. POV

After my call to Sookie I can't help but smile. She sounded so much better. I know she still has a long way to go but this is a good sign. I have been thinking about her situation. I believe that whoever gifted her with the brooch has been watching over her. It cannot be coincidence that it would just appear to her. She has come to a crossroad in her life and is going to be making some major decisions. There is someone who wanted to make sure she had some of her own magic to help her along. I am sure Claude will know more about this. I have asked him to meet with her tomorrow night.

I am prepared for my meeting tonight at the Viking's bar. I hope he is ready for what he and I will need to discuss.

Doctor Ludwig's POV

I had called Sookie and asked her if I could come to her home in an hour. I was expecting her to sound a little more morose. Mr. C. said she had a good weekend and was having a good day. This back and forth happens a lot when one is in a depressed state. It can confuse those around the patient. It does not mean the patient is better, it just simply means that they are having a good day. I am glad I get to meet with her on a day when she is feeling strong and happy. I have a good feeling about how things will go this afternoon.

I arrived at her house and knocked on the front door. I could have popped in but I didn't want to startle her. She does not look good and I can feel lingering magic around her from the bond being suppressed. I have seen her look worse. The night I treated her after the fairy war she looked like she had come from hell. I will check her and make her body is healthy and then we can address how we are going to treat her issues.

"Good after noon Sookie"

"Hello Dr. Ludwig, please come in"

"Thank you. I would like to get started right away. I know you have a lot of questions. I want to exam you and see how you are physically since it has been a while since I have seen you. Then I would like to ask you some questions and explain some things to you. Is this ok?"

"Sure Doctor. Would you like to sit in the living room for all of this? Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes, a glass of water please, and I will head to the living room and meet you there"

I quickly set up my things. I take a note book out. I usually have a perfect memory, but I want to make a few notes on key issues that concern her. I observe how she is walking, how she holds her head and how she is breathing. After a quick physical, I conclude that she is good health.
"Sookie, I can see you are in good health. I would like to ask you some questions about how the bond was broken"

"Okay"

"When Amelia broke the bond did she have you ingest anything?"

"No, she made a thick potion and used clippings of Eric's and my hair. She chanted something in Latin. She did it right before dawn and said that when we both woke up the bond would be broken."

"Let me explain what she did. Basically she tied your bond. When you have a bond there is energy and emotions that freely flow back and forth. All she was able to do was tie a knot in the flow. The energy and emotion are still there. They are now not able to flow fluidly. I want to explain to you how a blood bond works."

"I would really like for you do that Doctor"

"A permanent blood bond can occur for two reasons. One is out of necessity, in the past Vampires needed them to ensure their survival. It was a source for nourishment and companionship. The vampire could easily glamour the human to be controlled. This is not the case with you. These are the most common bonds. I do not believe that you have this type of bond. I know that you were forced to bond due to another vampire trying to impose his will on to you. Yes, it was forced but I do believe that Eric desired this bond with you."

"The second type is done out of love or compassion. It is done so that the vampire can share his life essence with the human. When a vampire does this, he or she can share their emotions and the healing properties of their blood with the human. This allows a closer and more open relationship. The passion, love and desire is felt much more intense level"

"Can it make me feel something I don't feel?"

"Absolutely not Sookie. The bond cannot make you feel anything. It cannot make you love someone you hate. It does not create feelings. It may enhance them because you would feel so connected to that other person. For example, if you were to think your bonded is handsome and then you bonded, you would feel a more intense attraction to him. If you bonded to someone you did not feel an attraction to, you would not suddenly find that person irresistible."

"Could someone alter my emotions in the bond?"

"No they could not, but what they could do, is share emotion with you. If you were nervous, they could help you calm down. I am sure this has happened while were living in your bond. Think of it like a hug, you can accept it or you can shrug it off. This is why I believe Eric bonded to you out of love. If he did not, he would not have tried to console you if you became upset. He would have simply shut off your emotions."

"He could do that?"

"Oh yes, if the bond was out of necessity, why would he consider what you felt?"

"I never thought of it that way"
"Am I to understand that you two did not discuss the specifics of being bonded?"

"No, we never did. It was both of our faults. I cannot place the blame solely on him"

"Sookie, Eric gave you a gift when he bonded to you. You, yourself could give that same gift. You are of the Brignant family line. They are well known for sharing themselves with those they love. He gave you his life by bonding to you. His blood is sacred. His emotions are sacred. If your life were to parish, the part of him that he gave to you would perish as well. This does not happen to those who bond out of necessity because they never really share their emotions. It only keeps them closely connected. They can track each other and feel the whereabouts of one another. This was useful in the past when vampires lived in the shadows. This is what Andre would have had with you."

"Are you saying that Eric loved me when we bonded?"

"Yes, he would have had to for you two to have the connection you had at the time of the bonding and that you had before it was suppressed."

"I had no idea"

"Really? If you think about it and really think about it dear. Do you think that he did not feel anything towards you?"

"How do I fix this?"

"You fix yourself first. You need to make your choices Sookie. You do what is best for you. You need to consider working on your spark as well. As I told you, you are of Niall's line and you are able to give part of yourself to others and I will teach you how to not do this. They take from you and the never return that energy that you have shared. It is draining you; the bond being suppressed is draining you. You would not be dealing with the depression with so much difficulty if these two things were not a factor."

"Can you explain how both are draining me?"

"First the bond is draining you because it is still active and your body is trying to reach out through the magic to connect to your other half. You are using a lot of energy to do this every day and you are not even aware of it. The spark is what makes you, well you. Every supernatural being has some kind of magic, yours is your spark. Supes are drawn to it. It's like a moth to a flame. You give off a feeling of happiness and love. You nature is to share that, but when you give and they take, they need to return the emotions. If they do not then you are unable to replenish. Your magic does not replenish without help from others if you keep giving it out. You never let anyone do for you Sookie. I have seen this first hand. You have to let others give back to you or you will always feel drained. I would suggest having a few people in your life try this. I can help you. You need some help your first time. You will need to get a sense of how to do it with your magic, but once you do it the next time will be easier."

"This is just so overwhelming. Why would Niall never explain this to me?"

"I'm not sure but I will try to find out for you"

"Doctor who would you want me to try this on? Is this safe? I wouldn't want to hurt anyone I care about."

"Sookie, you would not hurt anyone. At first you would need some extra magic to do this because you are so drained. I would suggest we have a small gathering before you leave for your vacation. You can do this safely and I will be there to help you. You also need to get back among people. You don't want to keep going on like this. You are fairy and need you need interaction. Your kind is very tactile and shares a lot of yourself. You will learn to be more guarded, you can still share but you must restrain yourself somewhat. I am sure you were not even aware of what you were giving out to others."

"Cheese and rice! I had no idea I could share my energy or spark with others. I was planning on leaving on Friday. Could we do this before then? Who would we use?"

"I am pretty busy this week. Is there any way we can meet Friday evening and have you leave after the healing?"

"I guess we could. I haven't made my decision on where I am going for sure yet. I was hoping to finalize my plans tomorrow. I could plan on leaving Saturday"

"Where are you thinking about going? I know people all over the world. It may be nice if you knew someone while on your little trip"

"I was thinking of going to the Bahamas for a few days. I have never been out of the country before. I want to go somewhere I can sit in the sun and relax on the beach"

"I have a friend who has a home that he rents out there. I can call you with the information if you would like to rent from a private owner"

"Oh yes that would be wonderful. I would just need to get a plane ticket"

"I will have this for you tomorrow in the morning. Let's talk about the bond being suppressed."

"Um ok. What do I need to know?"

"Sookie, hear me out before you get upset about this. I think you need to exchange blood with Eric. This magic suppressing the bond is going to keep you ill. You will not even need to see him if you do not want to. I can take a vial of your blood and take it to him and I can get a vial from him. I would not suggest using another spell to remove it. It may make things more difficult for you."

"I'm not sure about this. He was so angry with me and I don't think he will want to feel me again."

"He will have the choice. He can simply block the bond. He may still feel some from you, but you will learn to block as well. It's similar to how you block out other peoples thoughts."

"I will contact Eric and explain how this if effecting the both of you. It is his duty to ensure that the bond is healthy. He is a vampire of honor. He will do the right thing. You would not have needed to exchange if the bond weakened with time. If you do not exchange after this you both will have no side effects. You will still feel each other faintly but have no other issues."

"Can you wait a few days so I can think about this? If I am going to do this, I want to approach him. I may not do this face to face but I don't want him to think I am going behind his back to get something from him"

"Please let me know what you decide and we can go from there. Is there anything else you want to discuss?

"No Doctor. Thank you so much for this. I feel so much more informed. I wish I had all this information years ago. Oh and please make sure to get me your bill so that I can take care of it before I leave."

"Not to worry about that Sookie. Mr. Calatides is putting everything on one bill. You worry about taking care of yourself. I will be in contact about Friday. I do suggest we do this somewhere other than your home. I want a neutral atmosphere with no residual emotions. I can arrange somewhere for you if you like?"

"Yes, tell me where I need to be and where."

"I will be in touch with you tomorrow then. Have a good day dear"

"You too doctor. Thank you again"

I take my leave from her home feeling very hopeful for her. I am not sure where she will chose to take her life but I am sure you will end up whole again. I need to talk to Claude soon. Is he aware she has a love brooch? I have only seen one before. She holds the world in her hand. She can basically have whatever she likes. All she has to do is truly want it and she has to want it from the heart. The brooch cannot do anything malicious or harmful to another being or to her. I will make my preparations for our meeting and have him join in to help her take back her spark. I think I will keep Northman in the dark about this and just have him report to the meeting at the end. They need to move forward either together or separately. I must be her choice. I do not want the Viking to influence her.