FF: So I was looking back at my original story of this and...just...thanks. Thank you so much to all the people who reviewed on it, who were so encouraging and kind. Looking back now, I know my writing wasn't the best and I've improved vastly (at least I hope so) but everyone was so kind and sweet despite my lack of skill back then. Just wanted to say thank you for that.

Rhodesincolumbus: Not everything, just things that are technically his fault. Don't worry, I'm sure someone'll set him straight! ...hopefully.

Roxygirl: Aww, you're too sweet! That just so kind of you to say- I'm starting to blush and everything! *hides face in hands* Poor Raph, he really does need to talk to someone. *gives you a hug as you run past* Thanks and good luck! (and it's okay, I misspell my own name so many times)

FF: You guys are the best. Seriously. Now then- let's see how poor Liza is doing, and if Raph is gonna deal with his guilt better than just bein' moody all the time. (Is that likely? No.)


CHAPTER TWELVE

The second time Liza awoke was just as bad as the first- filled with tears and pain and terror as she spasmed and cried out, panicking. She wouldn't calm even with Mikey and Leo offering soft, reassuring words until Raph, having left for a brief trip to the bathroom, burst into the room, flinging out weak arms towards him in desperation.

From the mangled words sobbed out as the traumatized brunette clung to him, it was all too easy for her to believe she was trapped back at the cell she'd been tortured in, and that her rescue was just a desperation-induced dream.

It took fifteen minutes of constant reassurance and gently stroking her arms and back for her haunted eyes to finally slide closed, but she didn't release the red clad ninja. Even asleep, her hands curled around him with fragile strength and her grip weakly tightened when he started to release her.

While carefully checking over and retreating her wounds, Donatello had explained that, due to the trauma she'd endured, it wasn't surprising she'd latched onto one of her rescuers so strongly (and quickly) for comfort and protection. When Raph questioned why he would be the one she'd attached herself to, Mikey voicing his skepticism as well (feeling a little slighted she hadn't glommed onto him), Donny had simply answered, "She knows you best."

But wondering about her choice of a companion was the least of the brothers' worries.

Liza's wrists were infected.

The brunette's wrists were red and swollen, and her body temperature, already too high, was rising steadily into a severe fever.

Donatello was doing all he could to help- washing the wounds out thoroughly, applying wet bandages to the painful injuries, keeping them clean and free of discharge. He'd managed to get her to swallow some ibuprofen when she'd calmed a little during that second awakening, Raphael lowly whispering encouragements and rubbing her back as she forced the medicine down her tear tightened throat.

But they had to wait for his efforts to make any difference, so the next day was spent taking turns watching over the slumbering brunette. Raph and Donny were both on high alert throughout it all, hardly able to relax or catch some greatly needed sleep- they were the ones that Liza would require if she woke up again.

And require them she did.

The third time she woke up, late in the evening of the second day, was still teary and agonizing as Liza fought through fever and trauma to accept that she was indeed safe, that her torment was over. Assisted by Leo and Donny's gentle encouragement, Mikey's soothing chatter and well timed humor, and Raph's physical support, the brunette's breathing calmed to an almost normal rhythm and her mind eased just enough to get her thoughts out of the nightmarish rut they'd been stuck in.

Blinking back tears of pain, she managed to focus enough to listen as Donny gently explained what had happened, what her injuries were, what he'd treated her with, and how long it would take for her to recover.

She'd sobbed again, tears of fear and pain and self-pity, but in between her sobs she'd choked out emotional 'thank you's, reaching out and touching the arms or hands of the brothers in a weak show of gratitude.

Exhausted from pain and fever, the brunette held Raph's hand tight as Donny gave her some medicine and a sedative, and fell asleep still whispering 'thank you'.

A few minutes after she'd succumbed to the anesthetic, tears still wet on her cheeks, Raph had gently placed her back on the cot and left the room without a word.


One Hour Later...


"He's been in there for over an hour…" Leo sent a worried glance at the paper doors separating him from his immediate younger brother, arms crossed and foot tapping out a restless beat.

"Maybe you could talk to him?" Mikey suggested. He was flopped on the couch, flicking through TV channels absently while waiting for his shift on guard duty.

"Right. That would go well." Leo snorted. "He snapped at Donny for asking if he was okay yesterday and's been brooding ever since- what's he gonna do when I ask what's up?"

"Then I'll go!" The youngest turned off the TV and popped to his feet in a quick motion, stretching his arms out a little.

"You sure?" Leo's worried gaze switched to Mikey.

"Yeah, " He smiled and offered a quick wink. "I'm the fastest- if he swings at me, I'll just run away!"

The blue clad turtle laughed and shook his head. "Scream if you need me to come rescue you."

"Will do, big bro!" Mikey gave a thumbs up as he trotted towards the dojo doors.

He didn't knock; he simply opened the door and slipped inside as silently as possible. He slid the door shut, mentally congratulating himself on hardly making a sound.

"What do you want?"

Oh. Oops.

"I just wanna see how you're doin'!" Mikey turned around with a grin, the kind he normally reserved for when he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I'm fine." Raphael growled, slamming a fist into the punching bag and following it up with two powerful strikes via the other hand.

"Okay, I was just wonderin' what with you being used as a safety blanket for Liza." Mikey glanced around, beginning to slowly wander around the dojo. "Hard to see her hurting up close, y'know?"

"You can go now." Raph gritted his teeth, adding a sharp kick amongst his punches.

"Oh, but I-"

"-got your answer, so you can leave now." The older turtle snapped angrily, sending a furious glare to his brother.

Mikey 'eep'ed quietly and backed towards the door, hands held up in defense. "Okay, right. Good talk, I'll just-" he darted through the door the moment Raph took a step in his direction "-seeyoulaterbye!"

Raphael glared after the orange clad ninja for a moment, making sure he was gone, before turning back to the punching bag.

"Hard to see her hurting up close, y'know?"

His jaw locked and he slammed a fist too hard, too fast, into the thick material. His hiss of pain turned into a snarl as he repeated the action with his other hand, alternating between hands over and over, ignoring the bruises on his knuckles.

Her sobs and screams were burned into his mind, the images of the shaking and trembling of her body as she tried to curl in on herself, the pained look on her face even in sleep, the rawness of her voice and that one eye that still wouldn't open...

She'd been so kind all those days ago, so timid and gentle as she tried to help him home. Now that he thought about it, it had been incredibly selfless of her- dropping everything to help someone she barely knew, someone who was a mutant and who had scared her so badly that first night.

And now she was paying the price for her kindness. She was suffering, both mentally and physically. She would have lasting scars from this no matter what steps were taken to help her.

It was his fault.

He'd tried to argue that it wasn't his fault for others' actions, especially creeps like the Purple Dragons, but it had been his presence that started this. It had been him being there that led to this.

He and his brothers had all dealt with the guilt when April had gotten mixed up in their insane life. In a way, they were almost used to things like this happening. That didn't lessen the guilt though. And April had never suffered what Liza had gone through- they'd been so careful in protecting her, so determined to help her defend herself...

But not Liza. They'd forgotten her.

He'd forgotten her.


FF: Raph. TELL. SOMEONE. Stop trying to deal with this yourself, dude!