L

So….I kinda hid a line in Ikigai, which was always meant for this very scene, here, and written with it in mind. To weave Chaos into this story.

You guys remember, in Ikigai, when Mamoru tried to explain physics to Usagi? This was the line he used:

"Well, one of the things I find most fascinating about the fundamental forces of physics is, that, no matter in which direction and on which scale you look – if you look at the smallest particles that revolve around each other to form you and me, and the same with all the planets and all the stars and whole galaxies revolving around each other to form the universe… everything behaves exactly the same...If you break it down… one could say it's about attraction of one thing to another…"

This, of course, is not the full story of the fundamental forces. In fact, if we take magnetism, for instance, there is also the exact opposite. The force that keeps things apart. Repulsion.

Keep this in mind for this chapter, and as always, let me know what you think ;)

L

"How?! How could you have not told me this?!"

These were the words Usagi had greeted Haruka and Michiru with, as they ascended the stairs down to Senshi command central, slow and composed.

Minako sat, crying, on the small lounge benches to the back, Ami with her shaking hands folded in her lap.

Makoto stood right beside Mamoru, feelings of betrayal coming off of her in waves, Rei stood with her hand on Ami's shoulder, guarded, thoughtful.

Mamoru could feel the cocktail of emotions boiling in Usagi, trembling right out of her in shudders and tears. The disappointment, the horror, the compassion, the fear, the gumption. Usagi's decision had been made in a split second, of course, the minute Ami had broken and spilled their secrets.

Haruka stood, chin high, sticking to her decision. Michiru was unreadable, but clutching her talisman.

Usagi's voice was shaking, blurred from her frustrated tears that landed silently on her cheeks.

"We had a deal," Usagi whispered, watery gaze trained strongly on Haruka, who seemed to have trouble swallowing. "We had a deal not to kill innocents. We had a deal over ONE PERSON. You remember that, right? Me willing to sacrifice it all for Hotaru. Over one girl…" she spat, accusingly.

Usagi rubbed at her tears angrily, before she continued in a hiss. "What made you think it would be different over A WHOLE PLANET?!"

The room was eerily silent, yet to Mamoru they might as well have been standing in the mosh pit of a heavy metal concert – the intense cacophony of screaming emotion that crashed into him from the people in this room was almost deafening to him, and he had to force himself to keep his hands still, to not cover his ears.

Makoto's arms across her chest tightened visibly, her jaw set strongly. She'd been hurt, deeply, of not having been included in this decision. Had vehemently stated she would have kept them from making it, and if that was why they didn't include her and Rei?!

Rei had been silent in the matter, eyes gloomy, insides burning.

In fact, Rei had been silent all throughout this, eyes like fire, knowing something she didn't say. It was, to him, perhaps, the most frightening of all emotions in this room.

'You don't remember,' Minako had cried. 'You don't remember how it was, seeing her die, seeing all of you die.'

It was Minako again, who broke the silence with her tear-strained, hiccupping voice. "I'm not… I'm NOT letting history repeat itself, Usagi-chan... I won't have you fighting Chaos. It will not happen, never again. I won't let you—"

Makoto banged her fist on the control panel, causing the very structure of it to shake and the cats, who sat atop it, to jump.

"Don't talk to her like this. Don't order her around. It's her right to be furious, I'm –"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Minako yelled, eyes wide, tears falling, and Artemis came traipsing to her, rubbing his head comfortingly against her shoulder.

"Well, MAYBE I DON'T!" Makoto screamed back, getting in Minako's face and towering over her, and Mamoru felt the itch to go between them. "But, maybe you should start having a little trust in YOUR FUCKING PRINCESS! You saw how she dealt with Kaguya's ice age. She can do anything! Have a little fucking FAITH in her!

Ami's soft whisper broke between them. "Chaos is different."

Mamoru wet his lips, and what came out when he spoke was a hoarse croak. Makoto, Usagi, Luna and Michiru all bodily turned towards him – he hadn't spoken a lot in all of this exchange. Maybe not at all. Observing, not intruding, until now.

"Ami… could you explain it? Chaos?"

He knew, of course, she had said it times again and again, that she coined the term 'Chaos' as the driving force of Metallia. Of what had destroyed all of the Silver Millennium Alliance. The same force that seemed to now attack this alien planet, and had so many before that. But… she hadn't ever explained it…

All eyes turned to her and her trembling hands.

Ami cleared her throat before she spoke up. "Athena?" she said into the room, although her gaze was on Mamoru. "Please pull up my research on Chaos."

"Of course, goshujin-sama," came the artificial female voice of Ami's supercomputer, from everywhere in the room, and Haruka looked around startled, bewildered.

Mamoru had to blink a bit, remembering that the two of them had only ever been here once. Had no idea about Ami's AI.

Not a second passed after Athena had spoken when all of the clear walls, or windows turned into computer screens– which looked out into what might be space of something altogether different in this dimensional pocket that was the Senshi command central – all of them were being covered in holographic data, filling up the entire room, document after document. Calculations, statistics, push-updated data, simulations, DNA sequences and its analysed nucleotides, histon-codes and polymorphisms, images of dying worlds, hundreds of them, overlapping each other in the quickest succession, of black holes, of dark expressions, and dark energy forming around beings and people whose faces were twisted in hate. Some of them he recognized – Beryl, for instance – driving a spear of eternal guilt into his gut.

They all turned around, in circles, taking in this barrage of information with wide eyes and open mouths, covering the walls in green flickering holograms top to bottom, the sheer number of it all staggering, baffling.

Then his eyes found a calculation behind Ami, on the portion of glass they all considered the main screen; an equation and its mathematical derivation. He didn't understand what he was seeing at first, until he recognized tiny portions of it – Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation, Coulomb's Law to calculate electric force.

For a split second, he thought his heart might have stopped from the pit he felt opening in his stomach, when it dawned on him what he was seeing.

He needed to sit. He needed to sit now, and buckling knees found the cushioned bench Minako sat on, and he fell down next to her. He was only dimly aware of Artemis and Luna, both as shocked as he was.

"Is that… Is that—" Mamoru began to stutter, eyes not leaving the equations.

A unifying theory for the forces of gravitation and electromagnetic force. The very thing generations of scientists have been despairing over, searching for… And here it was, right in front of him, just waiting for a Nobel Prize, should it ever be allowed out of this room.

"Yes," Ami simply answered, voice small, and the cats erupted into loud exclamations.

Haruka and Michiru stood patiently, nonplussed, while Makoto fidgeted on the spot, agitated, no doubt, that no one seemed to explain, and he felt Usagi look at him expectantly… but, right now, all the speech had left him. There was nothing he could say, he…

"Anyone care to explain?" Makoto said, rather tensely.

"Um, yes…" Ami nodded, "um, it's kind of hard to find a point where to start… There are some basics you'd need to understand, um… what do you know about the fundamental forces of physics?…" she trailed off, frowning, unsure.

He had always known Ami's understanding of the universe was so far beyond any other person on this planet, and her intellect outshone them all, but this… this equation drove the point home for him. Of course she would struggle to explain… she wouldn't know where to start; would have difficulty knowing what they, himself included, didn't. They must all seem like witless toddlers to her, ignorant fools, this whole race, and yet… yet Ami was one of the nicest, warmest, most compassionate and forgiving people he had ever met.

She was met with blinking eyes, by the majority of the room.

"Usako," Mamoru said, finally, interrupting Michiru who was about to answer Ami's question, and Usagi turned to him. "Do you remember, last year, when I tried to appeal to you the beauty of physics?"

She nodded, warily.

"Do you remember what I said?"

"Um, something about attraction holding the universe together," she said, frowning. "It was rather sweet."

He nodded, and looked at Ami, as if asking permission to continue, and she waved still trembling hands, in a 'be my guest' fashion.

He inhaled, one hand flew into his hair, disbelieving, but then he started talking, yet never took his eyes of the equation in front of him. "In physics, there are really only four fundamental forces from which everything else is derived. The strong nuclear force, the weak nuclear force, the gravitational force, and the electromagnetic force … The first three are all attractive. Keeping things together. The nucleus, the electron to the nucleus, two types of masses. But, the electromagnetic force… the forces between any two charges can be attractive or repulsive. Like charges repel, opposites attract…"

"…Right. I remember that. Physics in school. Like a magnet." Makoto said, and Mamoru shrugged, inclining his head in a 'Sort of' kind of way. Not really the same thing, but close enough, he supposed, so he continued on all the same.

"Well, the formulas to calculate the electrical force between two charges, and that to calculate the gravitational force between two masses, are incredibly similar, both following the inverse square law. So similar that physicists have been searching for a unifying theory ever since. But, so far, it has seemed it was coincidence… charges and mass seemed not to be related. But…"

Mamoru trailed off, voice breaking, as he stared at the screen.

"What?" Michiru said, voiced sounding utterly surprised, and turned to Ami, then to the screen. "Are you saying—"

Ami just nodded.

"What?! What are we saying?" Usagi asked, perplexed.

"This seems to be the unifying theory, yes?" Haruka said, voice calm and collected.

Makoto's eyes widened, but Usagi still shook her head, confused.

"But… what … I don't get what's so special…" Usagi stammered, frustrated. They were getting off topic. There were people dying

"I didn't tell you all of it, back then," Mamoru said, his eyes leaving the screens and finally focusing on Usagi. "There's not only attraction, there is also repulsion in the universe. And… science always thought this only applied to electric charges, but with this…" he gestured back to the screen, "with this, Ami has shown that both gravitational and electrical forces are consequences of the same principal – that attraction and repulsion also apply to mass. There is something in the universe like negative mass, like there are negative charges."

Ami nodded, again, and slowly rose to a stand. It seemed Mamoru had helped her find the point where human understanding ended, and now she was ready to take over.

"There is negative mass. Early in the formation of the universe it was unstable and quickly decayed whenever it formed. But the potential for negative mass exists in all of us. On a subatomic level, but it is there. It is in all of us, in every thought, in every cell, it's there. Over time, it grows, becomes stable, and feeds, so to speak, when given the chance. This is what I talk about as Chaos," she said, sadly.

The room erupted, again, into incomprehensible chatter.

"Wait—" Rei said, shaking her head.

"Well… it doesn't do anything, unless it manifests," Ami tried to explain, quickly. "But if it does… it interacts with positive mass with a repulsive force, is which pulls everything apart, seeking to destroy and annihilate. It is drawn to light, always its companion; shadow and darkness. It's in every individual person and once it erupts and takes over, and once that happens with too many people… then it's allowed to grow, become the eternal force of destruction that it is…"

Ami trailed off, and typed in a few commands. At once, the documents on the screens were rearranged. What remained on display were pictures – a room full of holographic pictures of destruction. Of dying, destroyed world. Planets exploding, super novae blasting waves of destruction across galaxies, black holes created in their wake. Dead, barren ruins. Pictures of the destroyed Silver Millennium. And pictures of a fight, moving, evolving. Bitter and hopeless.

Kinmoku, Mamoru was sure of it.

Usagi's hands flew to her mouth, trying to contain the sobs that bubbled from it, and Mamoru grabbed her elbow, instinctively, steadying her.

"When Chaos manifests in a world, it withers away, and when it manifests in the individual, that person's body and mind will rot, leaving only the need to destroy. You could say Chaos is the personification of hate and destruction. Buried in every nook and corner of this universe, part of it. An eternal dance of attraction and repulsion," Ami whispered against the backdrop of death, "That's why it can form into so many entities, everywhere, simultaneously. Why it can exist in many places at once, in so many, endless forms. As Queen Metallia, as the entity that destroyed Tau Ceti, and the one that is destroying Kinmoku right now. It can be everywhere at once because it IS everywhere at once, nullifying and annihilating. Making thoughts darker and letting cells wither. You can give it many names… hate, jealousy, rot, mould, Queen Metallia … but it's always Chaos."

Mamoru had to swallow the bile that rose in him at the pictures they were shown. Usagi clawed her fingers into his shoulder and side, seeking, a whimper escaping from her lips, and he got up and wound his arm around her shoulder. Michiru, to the side, was gripping Haruka's hand harder, as well, knuckles turning white, but her face stayed collected and blank.

"When Chaos does manifest, past a threshold where the repulsive force can't balance out by the attractive force anymore, overpowers it – when it bubbles over, collects… The moment we ever notice its manifestation, it's irreversible. And then it will rip everything apart. Repulsion. The antithesis of attraction. Both form everything we know. One that keeps things together, the other that pulls them apart. They need each other, you can only destroy Chaos if you destroy every piece of matter in the universe."

She pressed another set of buttons, and pictures disappeared, leaving only Ami's formula for the unifying theory of mass and charge.

"It's balance; opposites attract, just like with charge, negative and positive matter need each other, seek each other, in every part of creation. Making it so that we seek to touch but never actually do, it binds us together and keeps us apart. Whenever the balance is tipped, Chaos becomes the dominating force of the two, and it runs wild, unstoppable. And, freed from the boundaries of the forces of attraction, it rips worlds apart."

She sighed, and faced them. "This is Chaos. And that is also why we have no chance to destroy it."

Mamoru had to swallow. How poetic that there was a mythology that had always ever said just that… greek mythology, which saw the Earth derived from Chaos, always battling it… But maybe it was because that was what literally had happened. Society having to grow again, after Chaos's destruction of it.

"But we did, didn't we?" Makoto asked, confused. "Back then? I mean – we're still here."

"We didn't," Minako's voice was almost a hiss. "It killed us all, and then Queen Serenity used the most powerful object in the universe, and all it did was seal it away and give us a future somewhere else, a handful of us, with the sacrifice of her own life. The Silver Millennium died, and Chaos wasn't beat. Chaos won. We were destroyed."

"Well, can we seal it, then?" It was Rei's voice. Gloomy, hoarse. She hadn't spoken so far. "Help Kinmoku that way?"

Usagi looked at Rei, and back between Ami and Minako, hope in her eyes.

"NO!" Minako yelled, jumping up. "Didn't you hear me? Queen Serenity died using it, and it didn't even help!"

Usagi's gaze hardened. "But I can try. My mother wasn't a Senshi. I might just be stronger—"

"NO!"

This time it wasn't only Minako who yelled in horror. Haruka's voice had joined the chorus… and his. It was him, though, that Usagi looked at, a look of betrayal in her eyes, and she shook herself free from under his arm.

Luna traipsed toward Usagi, paw against Usagi's bare foot, trying to get her attention. "Usagi-chan…" she started. "The problem aside that you couldn't even get there fast enough, you would be weaker the further you are from your power source… Kinmoku is almost 30 light years away from your power source… you would barely have powers at all."

Usagi's despair poured from her, again, in big, splattering tears. "But I need to try..."

Rei stepped up to her, putting both hands on Usagi's shoulders, squeezing, as her small body wracked with anguished sobs.

"I need to try. We need to go. I need to go!"

Everything inside him clenched together in fear, terror. She was so brave, so compassionate… and he would do everything in his power to keep her here, safe.

But it was Minako, ironically, who voiced his very thoughts. "Even if it were possible, I wouldn't let you," she whispered, barely above a whisper.

"Even if we wanted to, we couldn't get there in time, Koneko…" Haruka said, voice consoling. She struggled, visibly, seeing Usagi in this state. But she stopped talking, as Usagi shot her a withering glare, daring her to use the endearment for her in this very moment.

"Sailor Teleport doesn't work that way," Michiru cut in, eyes sympathetic. "We cannot travel outside of our own solar system with it, unless one involved in the teleport has been on the destinating planet before. It's a defense mechanism against unwanted intruders, evolved millennia before us…"

"And without Sailor Teleport…If we went now, with all our powers combined, supposing we were able to take every warp along the way… it would still take weeks, maybe months. They are dying now. They might have hours left. You would only arrive to defend a corpse," Haruka said.

Usagi nearly broke down crying.

"But … we can't just let them die. These are people."

Mamoru's stomach dropped, when Ami spoke up again.

"There is something we can do."

Of course she had a plan. She wouldn't have broken their pact if she hadn't… He only prayed it would keep Usagi out of danger.

Haruka, Michiru and Minako all looked at her, alarmed. Accusing. But Mamoru noticed the thin spray of hope vibrating across their feelings.

Usagi went up to Ami, and grabbed her hands. She didn't say anything, just looked at her, wide-eyed.

"A…A beacon," Ami stuttered out, and Haruka crossed her arms, shaking her head, "We can send out a beacon. Guide them here, safe haven."

Haruka got mad, immediately. "And lead Chaos's henchmen directly here?! Do you want to put a target on our backs?!"

Usagi's breathing became faster, while Ami directed a withering stare towards Haruka. "Have some faith in me, please. I'm not stupid. It will only be detectable by Senshi. But, without it, they won't find shelter, and will die."

Haruka started pacing, growling, her fists in her hair. "Do you all bloody realize what you're doing, here?! You are risking our world, our whole bloody world, for a simulation that may or may not be accurate, for people that may or may not be alive anymore!"

"Make the beacon," Usagi whispered.

"NO!" Haruka yelled, going up to her. Mamoru could feel it in Haruka, the fear, the terror, of losing it all again. Of failing again. And god, he didn't want to, but he could relate…

"Yes," Usagi hissed, looking Haruka directly in the eye. And for a second, Mamoru didn't see Usagi – clumsy, happy-go-lucky Usagi, who had trouble making orders and acting like a leader, but Serenity, giving orders.

He didn't quite know what the thought made him feel.

"I'm your princess, and this is an order," Usagi said, chin held high. "Beacon now, or I swear I will go right now, if you're coming with me or not, and with it your precious messiah."

Haruka simply glared back, ready to pounce, ready to knock her over the head and hide her away. And Mamoru wasn't sure he'd stop her.

Usagi turned back to Ami, "What do you need to make the beacon?"

Ami held out her hands, and formed a crystal in it. It only took a second. It was hexagonal, clear, and it reflected the light in prisms. When it was finished, she held it out to Usagi.

"It needs to be your power. As the rightful ruler of the alliance of the solar system it needs to be your energy."

His heart was pounding. This was happening too fast. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what it would mean—

He was not the only one who felt like this. Rei beside him started pulling at her hair, groaning at the ceiling in frustration. Haruka – strong, righteous, cool Haruka had tears of frustration in the corner of her eyes, ready to scream, and Minako just couldn't stop crying, clutching at Artemis.

Usagi took the Crystal – looking back up at Ami for a second, as if asking 'What now?' but then the Crystal gleamed, and she gasped in pain, and he felt it, leeching her energy from her, and he hissed. It took every ounce of his willpower not to intervene, not to throw himself at them and knock the crystal from her hands.

It took just seconds, and Usagi whimpered, growing pale, knees buckling, and Mamoru dove forward, behind her, wrapping his arms around her to catch her, steady her against him, and the crystal dropped from her hands and into Ami's.

Ami pushed a set of buttons, and the control panel opened, revealing a gap in which she placed the crystal. The whole room whirred to life, glowing, immediately – a beam of the purest light he had every seen permeating the room, for less than a heartbeat.

Then the light was gone, and with it the Crystal.

Ami breathed a sigh of relief.

"I really hope you thought this through," Michiru said to Ami, voice cool.

"And what you will do if a whole population of aliens arrives. Where do you suppose we put them, huh?" Haruka asked, voice low.

She didn't mean it, Mamoru felt it. It was her way of lashing out.

"You own a fucking pair of skyrises," Makoto glared. "I suppose you can make room."

"I have money. More than I could ever spend. And we have a famous racer and violinist in our midst. We will do. We will train Rei in her psychic abilities for the glamours needed. This can be done. The Earth is a big enough place, we can do this," Ami said, confident.

Rei blinked at being mentioned, and pointed her finger at herself.

"Plus, you said it yourself. You've waited so long, there's barely any survivors. A whole lot of death on your hands. You can take care of the living." Makoto's stare was icy, accusing.

And it was unfair, of course. None of them had attacked. None of them were to blame. They had simply protected their own, as was their duty. But this was Makoto's way of lashing out.

With the mention of those lives lost, while her Senshi had decided Usagi's safety was more important… it brought with it a fresh flow of silent tears.

"Why... why did you not tell me? Don't you understand? We're this tiny speck of dust in the whole scale of things. We're unimportant. I'm unimportant… why didn't you trust me…you should have… you should have…"

She hiccupped, her voice muffled by her hands that she tried to angrily wipe her tears with.

"It's not about trust, Koneko," Haruka explained, voice shaking. "It's about knowing you. We knew this, exactly this, is how you would always react. Putting yourself, and this world, in the line of fire to protect the innocent, at any cost. That's you. But it's our duty to protect this world, and you. You need to understand this…"

Usagi simply sobbed harder, and it was Minako this time, who stepped up to her tentatively, holding out her arms for comfort.

But Usagi, hurt pouring from her, looked at Minako, and didn't go to her. Instead she turned to Ami. "Update me on this beacon thingy" she said, and then shuffled out, and up the stairs, without any further word.

Minako swallowed, tears bubbling from her eyes again, as Makoto followed Usagi up the stairs.

Mamoru looked at Minako, as she turned and found his gaze.

He understood her, for once. They were on the same page, maybe for the first time.

He would have made the exact same decision as she did. He had before. Chosen her over a world.

He met her gaze steadily. She felt uncomfortable with it, but something in her eyes changed.

Became less guarded.

Then she nodded.

He nodded back, and went up the stairs, after Usagi.

L

It hurt.

She felt ashamed. It was a feeling she knew, deeply, but which, simultaneously, didn't really fit her.

"So… this was your secret," Artemis said, as they walked along the quiet streets of nighttime, residential Tokyo.

The street was wet – it had stormed outside, while Makoto was so worked up. And the city lights – street lamps, neon signs, and the bright glare of the vending machines – reflected on the wet asphalt. The ever-present noise of distant car wheels on wet ground felt almost like a lifeline to the empty feeling Minako felt in her gut.

"Yes," she answered, simply, staring straight ahead.

Artemis seemed to drop the subject, just walked with her in step.

She'd left immediately, after Usagi had gone upstairs. Rei had looked at her so… she didn't know how Rei looked at her, just that she didn't like the look.

She'd needed to go. She couldn't stay another minute.

She always seemed so open, she knew that… but when things got bad she was used to suck it up and run. She liked to deal with things on her own.

They turned a corner onto a bigger street. It was late, but here and there people hurried along the streets, folded, clear umbrellas clutched to their sides.

Another turn and the noises quieted, on their way to her home.

Minako exhaled. She'd never felt so useless. She was the leader, but… She was supposed to be useful. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

A tear fell. She'd thought there couldn't be any tears left. And she felt Artemis slinging his furry body closer to her legs in an effort of comfort.

"I didn't ask for this responsibility, you know?" she whispered down at him, slowing down even more. "In either life. I had it, I felt it, I embraced it, I didn't want to shy away from it... but I never asked for it."

"I know," Artemis answered, sadly.

"I would love to be a singer. An idol… famous and fabulous", she said, tossing her hair in a flourish with a wink, purely for show. It must have looked ridiculous on her teary face, and Artemis simply looked at her.

Her face became serious again. "But I can't."

She exhaled a shaky breath, trying, for all she was worth, to get rid of that painful lump in her throat.

But the thoughts kept coming.

She hadn't been made into the leader because of her skill either, back then... yes, she was the strategist, but that came through diligence and hard work because of that role, not vice versa. Jupiter would have been the much better choice. It wasn't even due to the status of her house, or because she was the oldest... it was because she resembled the royal lunar family the most, and thus Serenity. So she could be her constant guard, and once Serenity was older and would have eventually stopped aging and the age difference wouldn't show anymore… Venus could stand in for her should the need arise, for centuries... Her eternal guard.

This role that sometimes felt as if it were erasing so much of her own identity… She got it because she was best fit to take over the identity of the person because of whom she had that role in the first place... It was a painful thought, no matter how much she loved Serenity, how much she loves Usagi.

"I used to take pride in how good at my job I was," Minako said, eyes ahead on color play of the wet asphalt. "That they needed me, couldn't do it without me..."

She let out one bitter laugh, before continuing.

"I came back to Tokyo to tell them who they were, protect them, help them grow into who they could be…" she whispered. "But they didn't need that. They don't need me. I'm the last one who is struggling with their super transformation, and I'm the one who should be showing them how to get there."

She looked down at Artemis's little sympathetic face, and it only caused more silent tears to bubble from her eyes.

"I gave all that up, always, and don't get me wrong, I'd do it again. In a heartbeat. I would always do it again, but... right now I don't even see the reason, why I do. I don't see what I'm good for, here. What I bring to the table that not everyone else has done before."

Usagi didn't need her. She had him. And everyone else.

It started raining, again. Soft drizzle. She held out her hand for it, and for a brief moment wondered what Makoto was feeling. The weather forecast had been clear skies.

"I wanted to be needed, I guess? I wanted to be thanked, if I'm honest, that I'm giving up everything again... it feels so..." she said, inhaling sharply to suppress a sob, and looked up into the sky, allowing the little pitter-patter of rain to mingle with the tears on her face.

"Artemis, it feels so horrible. I'm so horrible for feeling this. They all embrace it, they all chose it…"

"You chose it, too..." Artemis answered, finally. "We didn't wake you, Mina. You fought all on your own, feeling your responsibility. Yes, it is true that that responsibility was laid upon you… But you chose to answer it, just like they did. You were giddy about it, even."

Minako looked down at him. Giddy wasn't the word she'd choose. Restless. She'd known she had a purpose. She'd wanted it… but now her purpose didn't seem to need her.

"Do you think that's why you're not getting your Super Transformation, maybe?"

Minako frowned. "What do you mean?"

They had stopped. Her house could already be seen – but it was too soon. She couldn't go in now.

"Maybe that's why you're running, Mina… So you don't have to fight anymore?" Artemis said. His voice was compassionate, warm, but Mina felt the edge, knowing it was her own thoughts that twisted them to hurt.

"NO!" She yelled, and then repeated, softer, thoughtful, "No… no…"

"Mina… maybe you're not running because you can't get stronger. Maybe you can't get stronger because you're running…"

But… From what?

She didn't have to voice the thought. Artemis knew her well enough to read her.

"From a preset course laid out for you? A curse spoken on you? A destiny you might embrace, but you never wanted. Mina… " Artemis trailed off, as sobs started wrecking her.

She cried. Big, fat, bubbly tears, just like before, just like when she'd arrived, just like when she'd been called out, just like when she feared for her princess, just like when Usagi looked at her like that… Disappointed.

"I want to be strong. I want to do what's right. I want to protect her… I wouldn't be giving up so much if I wouldn't…"

"But you do feel as if you're giving up your life," Artemis pointed out. It wasn't an accusation, she knew it wasn't. But it still felt like one.

"Of course I do!" she exclaimed, a little too loudly.

She started walking again. Artemis was silent.

"But it's ok… I've gotten over that a lifetime ago," she whispered.

"Have you?"

"Of course!"

She faltered, swallowed. And looked down at her cat, but he didn't look back.

They approached the house quietly.

As she rummaged for her key, he spoke again, voice loaded.

"I know how you feel, by the way."

She furrowed her brows. Huh?

"We are your guardians. Your advisors. I am your personal advisor, yet you taught me how to speak, you potty trained me for god's sake, and Ami far surpasses me on the technological side… But... I can still be here for you. I can still do this with you. And I know there will come the time where you will need me…" he said, his gaze trained on the ground.

She felt that lump grow bigger, yet again, blocking her throat oh so painfully.

She bent down, and cradled Artemis into her hands, crushing him against her chest, hugging.

"I will always need you, my little drama queen…"

L

It was carnage. Pure and utter destruction. Their planet was doomed, dead already, its corpse being turned inside out.

The sky was scorched in never-ending fires, tasting of blood and smoke. The cries had long been quieted, leaving only death and silence. Their atmosphere had been peeled away, everything that had once bloomed on evergreen Kinmoku, had burned under Galaxia's attack forces, leaving it to choke, as the air evaporated, coiling into open space, sizzling, crackling, dying.

And the heat from their two suns, once giving them life, endless harvests and prosperity, now cooked them all alive with their atmosphere's protective shield gone.

Kinmoku had never seen war before Galaxia, in all its history. They were a peaceful, sharing, caring people. Quiet, mindful, considerate, protective of theirs and those around. They had known of it, in stories. Her Senshi had guarded them against it, seen it in the stars, but not them… Not until Galaxia. Not until they had been wiped out.

No hell could be worse than watching her beloved, sacred home explode like tar and molten lava. Nothing could ever compete with this pain, this emptiness. There was nothing left of the Tankei Kingdom, nor of any of the other once amicable diplomatic tribes under her name on her once peaceful, tranquil Kinmoku.

She had only death left on her heart.

But she would stand. As long as only one person of her people remained alive, she would stand, she would guard.

Galaxia would not gain her planet's star seed. If she had to rip it out of her breast herself and throw it into Kinmoku's opened, gaping, oozing core… Galaxia would never have it. She would not get this power to add to her collection.

Until the last woman standing, they would never give in.

Only a handful of Kinmoku's population remained alive, had been saved - the young ones.

Youngsters, barely but still growing, and some mothers whose infants and children had withered in the heat. The elderly had died first, from the suns radiation, the famine, the smoke and char and sud in the air from the fires and explosions. The babies and toddlers had died soon afterwards. The fighters, the strongest, fiercest and surest of heart and integrity of her people, lead under her Starlights, had perished under Galaxia's henchmen. Gutted, stripped of their life and then turned into phages, all to mock her proud guardians of their weakness to protect theirs by that wretched ... no, she would never call Galaxia a person. Never.

What remained of her people were those that had been too weak to fight but too strong to die. A meek spattering of people – a hundred, at most, of the millions that had lived just months before. Healthy, robust, idealistic youngsters, mothers that had been in childbirth or tended to the small, veterans, the crippled and broken but healthy, had remained.

It was pure luck that Star Healer had managed to sneak them behind the lines of fire as she had found them, by chance, hiding in the tunnels, to one of the three lifeless satellites surrounding Kinmoku. A makeshift atmosphere kept them alive, for now, for mere days.

No supplies. No way to sustain themselves. If no miracle happened now, even if Galaxia would somehow overlook their hide-out, all of them would starve to death on this barren, dry moon, while she and her Senshi tried to still fight what was inevitable, resisting Galaxia on Kinmoku.

They would die, they would all die here. There was no hope after all.

No hope at all…

Until there was.

That light... She knew, she knew without a doubt. This beacon of light was the light of hope. The very miracle her heart had never dared let go, up unto this very moment, … the moment she had let go, it had shone through the fires.

Her Senshi had doubted her, believing her to grasp for fairytales, and here it was, breaking faintly through the universe, leading a way.

"No!" she heard Star Maker call, faintly, soft in the fleeting air, although she was screaming through the cacophony of destruction and over the capacity of her poisoned lungs, breaking, choking. But she knew what she meant to say. Princess. This might be a trap.

But it wasn't. She could feel it. It was pure Senshi power, untainted by Chaos. It was hope.

And then, it had been a split second decision by her Senshi, when hell had broken loose, when Galaxia had turned to attack her, get the star seed of this planet out of her. To trust.

They had trusted her judgement and that was why she had been forced to leave them behind to die for her.

She screamed, on the top her lungs, feeling its raw edges in her throat but not hearing a sound as she was catapulted into the void of space, off towards the beacon of hope, vacuum filling her mouth and lungs and boiling the tears on her face, as she was enveloped by her Senshi's powers.

She knew what had happened of course. They had concentrated all their power on her, leaving them momentarily helpless to Galaxia, to hurdle her off towards the beacon's origin, so she might be faster than Galaxia, so she might get away.

She felt it, the strength of her Senshi in the force of the speed she was rocketing through the vast endlessness, could feel her power grow dim as she was blasted away from its source, Kinmoku.

She didn't believe a Senshi has ever traveled as fast as she did right this second, having been pushed on by desperation, panic, love, trust.

But as the speed exhilarated, she could feel her powers – her connection to her planet, really – coil and shrivel in agony, like a string pulled taut, and it felt like dying all over again, pulling at her heart, at her core, at her seed.

And with a snap that went through her brain and mind and memory, she felt the connection to her planet tear apart and shrink into herself as she sped away faster than any Senshi had ever travelled away from their power source without teleporting.

As her power shrunk, her body did with it. And enveloped in her Senshi's power, protecting her from open space, where once the heir to Kinmoku was, now only a child remained.

Hair turned lighter, now a soft shade of reddish pink, frightened, shivering, alone, with only the memory of destruction – as only this could never again be pulled from her mind.

L

AN: So…. obviously, as I have Kakyuu shrinking, a much needed note on the connection between child-form and Senshi power: I really liked the idea, in R, that Chibi-Usa didn't grow because she didn't have a connection to her powers. (In her case, her own self consciousness was at fault, and it doesn't necessarily need to be that, but the idea is what I love.) If you turn that around: Any growing or grown Senshi must have some hold and form of their powers in any kind of way, be they aware of them or not - hence why I wrote it that way in Ikigai that all the Senshi have manifestations of their abilities in their human form. And if you turn THAT on its head again, then a Senshi without a connection to their power must be a child. There you go. ;)

Also, I have two people to thank this chapter: UglyGreenJacket, my darling, who's making me pass for a native speaker, here, although I'm not, and who keeps listening to me ramble on about this all the time to help me through it. And, Kasienda, the best scientific advisor I could have wished for ;) I told you guys before – I'm not a physicist. Sadly, Ami is. And thankfully, Kasienda is, too! Thank you, love, for taking my jumbled ideas on repulsion and Chaos, and helping me turn them into a theory!

Let me know what you think pleaaaase~ ! About Kinmoku, about Chaos, about Minako, anything^^ I wanna knooow!