EVERYDAY

CHAPTER 12

BY WONGA316

COPYRIGHT AND DISCLAIMER
I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of its characters.

EMAIL
wonga316(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)au

MSN MESSENGER
wonga316(at)hotmail(dot)com

PROOF READING
Lord Raa

DATE POSTED
20050615

AUTHOR'S NOTES
This is an AU fic where Shinji has the normal yet dysfunctional family. No EVA or Angels and I've decided to include almost all the characters from the anime. There is no real point to the fic. It's just some fun and a creative outlet. Hopefully it'll spark some better ideas for my other stories.

"…" Normal speech

'…' Thoughts

(…) Computer / phone / other chat (you will know what I mean…)

HANAMAKI INN

Misato Katsuragi glared at the new visitors to the inn. The current tenants were lined along one side of the dinning table and the so called intruders on the other side. She didn't like them. It wasn't that any of them abused or called her a childish name nor was she intimidated by their beauty or charm. Kaji with Hyuga, Aoba and Shinji's stooge friends were more easily swayed.

"How's the tea? Can I get you anything else?" Aoba asked anxious and eager to please the goddess in front of him.

"Have you even been skiing? I have my instructor's license and a cabin in the mountains. May be I can show you some time." Kaji was oozing his charisma, trying every trick in the book. Basically, he was just lying through his teeth. But the woman just flicked her hair and ignored his advances. She was more interested in returning the Death Glare™ from Misato.

Kensuke and Touji couldn't believe their luck. They thought things were good when Shinji's mother asked them to come along to the hot springs. This was their chance to see Misato in the flesh.

Now they had hit the jackpot. Kensuke immediately pulled out his digital video camera and began recording everything. He panned the camera to each girl and gave a running commentary.

"Ms. Akane Kobayashi. Age 22. Brown hair and hazel eyes. Interests include cooking and shopping." His camera scanned her perfectly shaped and proportion body that would make any man turn his head in the street. She noticed that she was on camera and gave a friendly wave.

"Ms. Nanami Wakase. Age 23. Blonde hair and brown eyes. Mother is American and father is Japanese. Spent early childhood in the US before returning to Japan." She gave a sexy wink at the camera. She was a taller then the rest of the girls due to her mother's heritance. The guys just could stop staring at her silky smooth leg which seemed to just keep going and going.

"Ms. Nao Yoshizaki. Age 20. Black hair and brown eyes. The youngest of the group and had cutest baby face. Her interests include music and open air cinemas." She bowed at the camera as a sign of playful respect.

"Ms. Yuka Osawa. Age 21. Black hair and green eyes. Her exquisite beauty combined with her rare emerald eye colour made her an instant success in front of the cameras. And runner up to Ms. Japan last year." Her eyes narrowed into small slits when Kensuke mention her runner up in the beauty pageant. But even upset she had a beauty but dangerous thing happening

"Ok. Last but not least." Kensuke quickly knew he made a mistake and turned his sights on the final visitor.

"Ms. Saki Ninomiya. Age 23. Fair hair and brown eyes. The current reigning Ms. Japan! Before that she graced the covers of magazines and fashion shows. What more needs to be said?" With the camera on her and Kensuke's words she stood up and spun away, giving everyone a look at her. Her splendour was unrivalled. She had the looks of a super model and the girl next door at the same time.

"If you keep staring like that you get wrinkles." Saki huffed at the older woman after her little twirl. Her figure was up there with Misato's. Her perfectly shaped legs went up to a luscious petite backside. The blouse she was wearing was buttoned up in the middle and a small glimpse of the black lace bra supporting her ample chest. She had a million dollar smile to match her flawless and perfect face.

"You stay away from my Shinji!" Misato snarled and slammed her beer can on the table. Each woman flashed back to the events that led up to the hostile situation.

The new visitor's arrived just as everyone had finished playing catch with Shinji as the ball stuffed half naked in a duffle bag. Our beautiful stranger was shocked to see the poor young man in such a state and quickly when to his side.

"Are you okay?" She asked full of concern as she removed Shinji from the bag. Before turning to modelling full time she was studying to be a nurse until the fame and fortune cam knocking on her doorstep.

Misato saw that way she was touching her Shinji and mistook them as advances. It didn't help the cause that he was naked from the waist down.

"It looks like you have a concussion." She said aloud while check his pupils.

"Don't touch him!" Misato grabbed the women's hand reefed it away with great force.

"What's your problem bitch!" She yelled back and her friends came to her aid. Naoko and Kyoko weren't to be out done and joined in as well as the school girls except from Asuka who was still unconscious from her carbon dioxide overdose.

The staring contested continued as Asuka and Shinji lay unconscious next to each other in the next room. Asuka was first to wake and she was in a bad mood thanks to the splitting head ache. She sat up and noticed her surroundings had changed. Asuka was inside for starters but that wasn't what bothered her. A blanket had been draped across the both of them. As sat up she noticed that Shinji still wasn't wearing any pants. He wasn't fully exposed; just a glimpse of skin on his hip could be seen.

The unmistakable sounds of people arguing came from the other room. She looked up but her eyes kept falling back down towards Shinji's groin area.

'If everyone is out there… That means…' the young redhead's mind began ticking. She carefully and quietly lifted up the remaining part of the blanket covering Shinji.

'Should I touch it?' She couldn't believe what she was asking herself. Right before her was Shinji's prized jewels and she was contemplating taking advantage of the situation. The both of them had shared the same bed before and even walked in on one other while they were bathing but this was taking things to the next level.

'Of all the times I accused him of taking advantage of me… Look at me now!' but her thoughts were easily overpowered by her hormones and curiosity.

'I wonder how it feels...' That was her final thought as her arm reached into the blanket. She was so preoccupied with what was in front of her that she failed to see Shinji begin to wake.

"What the…" he grumbled trying to open his eyes and when did open them he found himself still half naked and Asuka reaching towards the little Shinji. This quickly got his senses together.

"What are you doing?" he asked plainly which caused her to freeze like a statue.

"Sh… Sh… Shinji…" Asuka stuttered nervously and slowly cranked her head side ways to face him while her body remained perfectly still. There was utter silence between the girl and boy. Even the growing shouting from the next room couldn't penetrate the deadening silence.

"Asu…" Shinji was first to say something but he wasn't the quickest or the loudest.

"EEEEEE! BAKA HENTAI PERVERT!"

Like lightening, Asuka's famous right hook came from no way and connected with Shinji's jaw. For the third time today Shinji sailed threw the air by a female. He went through the bamboo and rice paper door with ease.

"You're lucky that…" before Misato could finish attacking her new arch nemesis, the beautiful model was taken out by Shinji like footballer would a tackle dummy.

"HA! Serves you right!" Misato scoffed and tipped the remaining beer into down her throat. Saki couldn't respond. She was seeing stars and little birds danced along the massive lump on her head.

"That's it Shinji! Kick her butt!" She threw the half crushed can at the unconscious Ms. Japan

"Not again…" Dr. Akagi slapped her forehead as she went to retrieve the first aid kit again.

"Wow… I never knew Shinji was so frisky…" Naoko whistled impressed by Shinji's sudden burst of energy.

"And flexible." Kyoko finished off. Both mothers didn't seem to be concern with possibly injured woman and most likely injured Shinji. She quite impressed with the way the young man could twist his body like that. They both smiled at the same time as each imaged what they could get up to after having learnt of Shinji's flexible body.

"Hey!" Asuka shouted at her mother and Naoko from the opening that Shinji made in the wall.

"I know that look I your eyes! And hands off!" The young red head stomped over and grabbed Shinji's leg. She started dragging him out of the room like a cave woman had just clobbered her caveman.

"Okay everyone!" The familiar voice of Yui Ikari came from the doorway and behind her stood the gentleman who greeted her at the reception desk. He was a relatively small stocky man with thick glasses. His hair was thinning on top and the comb over was more than a little obvious which matched his tacky clothes.

Before Yui continued she saw her little boy being dragged by his hind legs. Everyone backed away in fear. They knew a Yui explosion was imminent when she would see her precious Shinji unconscious.

"I… I… I can explain…" Asuka gulped.

"I use to play that game with Shinji's father all the time Asuka-chan." The mother patted Asuka on the head and everyone face faulted. She stepped over Saki's body and sat at the table.

"Don't forget the grandkids, Asuka." Yui said winking at her which caused her to blush profusely.

"It's nothing like!" she shouted back trying to defeat her actions.

"Yeah right!" everyone chorused even Misato who never missed an opportunity for a ribbing.

"SHUT UP!" She picked up the pace and quickly left the room with Shinji dragging behind.

"Isn't this so exciting?" Yui giggled like a little schoolgirl.

"That's my son and I'm going to be a grand mother soon." The four remaining models just looked at like she was a crack pot and gave a patronising smile.

'Where is she going?' Rei's eyes narrow into tiny slits as she watched her brother be drag away by the big red monster. She was overly concern for her brother's well being. So far today he had been shot at, fallen from a second story window, rendered unconscious, removed of his pants, punched, thrown into a sack, almost barbequed by a flamer thrower, unconscious again, punched a second time, ploughed through a wall and now dragged away.

'This is unacceptable… I must put a stop to this at once…'

"Allow me to introduce myself." As Asuka left with her trophy the small man stepped forwarded and introduced him himself.

"My name is Amada Tasuku." He held out bunch of his business cards for everyone in typical Japanese business etiquette.

"Where have I heard that name before?" asked aloud Mana.

"Sapporo Breweries Limited," Fuyutsuki read the company name on the card aloud.

"Officially, I'm only contracted to Sapporo Breweries for this project. They were very kind to provide me with business cards," Amada continued.

"Of course! You're the famous photographer. I remember going to see your exhibition in Kyoto last month." Mana knew she had heard of the name before and suddenly recollected her father's business trip to Kyoto. The whole family went and while the father conducted his business, Mana and her mother saw the sights and sounds of the city.

"Then that means…" Kaji, Hyuga and Aoba chorus together. The appearance of a photographer and the models could only mean one thing.

"That is correct. We are here to shoot the…"

"Yebisu Calendar Girls!" The three males chorus again. They formed a circle and dance merrily around like all their Christmas's have come at once. Touji began pumping his fist in the air like he had won the school basketball final and Kensuke fainted.

"Pigs…" all the girls including the models muttered at the typical male behaviour except for Yui who remain calm with her hands folded on the table. I not so subtle cough from her got everyone to calm down.

"It turns out that Tasuku-san booked the inn for a couple of days before we did to shoot the new Yebisu calendar. We just contacted the owners and they have apologies for the mix up. They even gave all of us a discount for the trouble. "

"Mr. Tasuku," Nao Yoshizaki said shyly and then pointed to the fallen Saki Ninomiya.

"Good greatness!" He rushed to Saki side to see if she was all right.

"Here, allow me to fix her up real good." Misato began rolling her sleeves up, spat in her hands and rubbed them together. Payback was a bitch and she had the name of Misato Katsuragi.

"She must be tired from the long road trip." Yui quickly and skilfully grabbed her adopted niece by the back of the shirt and yanked her down.

"In fact why don't all you get some rest. There are more than enough rooms for all of us and there is no reason why you can't start working tomorrow." She addressed the new visitors.

"One day lost isn't so bad. I've worked in less time." Tasuku agreed with Yui's thinking. They filed out of the main room to retrieve their things from the mini van.

The males of the room looked disappointed when they heard no raunchy photo shoots were going to happen today.

"Oh don't be sad boys." Yui instantly knew what caused the glum faces on their faces.

"You have all these beautiful and intelligent women to keep you company." Yui was referring to Misato and her friends. All the guys looked at each other for a moment before they burst of laughing. Touji and Kensuke had tears coming from their eyes and were rolling on the floor.

"Hey Ken let me borrow those glasses." Kaji reach down and pulled off the boy while clutching his side because of the stitch he got from laughing to hard.

"I just want to make sure my eyes aren't that bad. Perhaps I need to check the dictionary for the definition of beautiful again."

"You might want to look up intelligence as well," Fuyutsuki said. He wasn't laughing as hard as the other but he did have a small snicker. The man had his calm, cool reputation to look after.

As they continued to laugh out loud, the anger levels in the room were building. It's a well know fact that animals can sense danger. The forest animal would poke their head out and sniff the wind. Then quickly scurry away to their hiding spots. Pen-pen felt ominous tension as well. He put on his custom made army helmet and hid in the kitchen freezer.

Just before all hell broke loose, Yui miraculously pulled out an umbrella and whipped it open. She also picked up her tea to make sure it didn't spill.

"BAKA KAJI!" Misato let out a roar which was followed by a king hit which sent the man with the ponytail flying. The other girls jumped in as well. It was like a shark feeding frenzy. The blood was in the water and nothing was going to stop it now.

The umbrella that Yui put up had it purposes now. Blood had a tendency to spray everywhere and was really hard to get out in the wash. Her umbrella would protect her from the sticky liquid. She was on holidays and didn't feel like doing any extra chores. A stray tooth came out of the melee and skip across the table.

"I wonder if Shinji and Asuka have finished making my grand child?" Just the thought of this made her all warm and fuzzy inside. She giggled behind her cup of tea as blood-spattered and battered body bounced on the table in front of her and left a bloody smear.

UPSTAIRS

"You can stop dragging me around now." After the second time Shinji's head thumped the edge of the step he was awake. The mean rash he was starting to develop on his buttocks also alerted him to the fact he wasn't moving under his own will and something was wrong.

"What and have you butt naked behind me? Who knows what perverted thing you'll do?" Asuka pretended to scowl but was trying to hide a minor blush across her features.

She quickened the pace and in no time they had reached his room.

"Ouch!" Shinji complained as Asuka had released his legs and they hit the floor with a thud.

"Hurry and put some pants on." She ordered and turned away. Shinji wasn't really paying attention. He was busy checking the damage done on his behind.

"What are you doing?" The young red head that grown impatient and turned back around. She didn't know whether to be embarrassed or disgusted. The sight of a half naked Shinji Ikari checking out his own butt was not something she saw everyday.

"Asuka!" Shinji quickly covered himself with his hands when he noticed that she was facing him.

"Baka! Please put some pants on. I don't think my stomach could handle any more." She cleverly covered herself with a smart remark and turned back around.

"Could you leave the room?" he asked timidly.

His request got her thinking that she had possibly made a mistake.

'If I stay here will he figure out how I feel? No! I've known baka Shinji for ever and he's more dense now than before. But still…'

When Asuka didn't reply, Shinji just went about finding some pants. Unknown to the both of them a pair of red eyes were watching them like a hawk would its prey.

Rei had slipped away during the girl's melee on the guys. Her overwhelming concern for her only brother had forced her to act like a peeping tom. But it was a small price to pay to protect him from any harm. Her eyes narrowed into slits again when Asuka didn't compile with Shinji's request to leave the room.

"I will protect him…" She whispered to herself as she pulled out a small control pad from her back pocket. There was a piece of masking tape on the side of the device. It read – Shinji Security System Version 1.0. To make the label complete a chibi smiley face of mother and daughter was drawn. Rei waited for the right moment pressed the red button on it.

WHOOSH

SPLAT

The ceiling above Asuka mechanically opened. Fish guts and offal rained down upon her like a shower. The smell was putrid and Shinji instantly pinched his nasal passages shut.

Asuka went through the standard emotions.

Fear – She hadn't expected anything like this and it scared the crap out of her.

Curiosity – She didn't know what cold wetness of the fish offal was at first. But after one sniff…

Disbelief – She was Asuka Langley Sohryu; one of most popular and respected girls at her school. She believed that no one in their right mind would even conceive about do such a thing.

Then anger – This was Asuka's favourite emotion. But this time it wasn't normal Asuka tantrum. This was an explosion on a par with Mt. St. Helens inside the package of a fourteen age old teenager.

"Ah… Asuka…" Shinji was really hesitant to say something but the sight and smell of fish juice evaporating off his neighbour was something to worry about.

"BAKA SHINJI!" She screamed on the top of her lungs like nothing before.

"Oh crap…" He said as he waited for the impending pain to come his way. But at least this time he had pants on.

"WARK!" A head of a prehistoric penguin popped out from the window. The bird sniffed the air and then waddled inside. It straight up to Asuka and sniffed her again.

"WARK WARK!" The penguin scout had confirmed the target and relayed the message back to the group. Suddenly more prehistoric penguins began to appear from everywhere. They all sniffed the air once again and then looked directly at fish favoured Asuka.

"What the hell are you all gawking at!" She spat at them but all of the birds just saw a giant sardine with an ugly red wig. They began to salivate and moved in.

Meanwhile just outside Shinji's room, his mother was busy with another penguin.

"Will you stop complaining, Pen-pen?" Yui said while struggling with Saki Ninomiya's legs. The fight between the males and females was over in the first thirty seconds and she had finished her tea. She couldn't carry the current Miss Japan to a guest room on her own and enlisted the help of the family pet since he was the only male not currently with the snot beaten out of him.

"WARK!" Pen-pen snapped back at her.

'Stupid female human! I've got the heavy end!' The warm water bird thought as he used all his might to support the body and head of the unconscious woman.

The door to Shinji's room busted open and Asuka flew past the pair. On her tail was the pack of prehistoric carnivorous penguins.

"Oh look. Asuka is playing with your girlfriends, Pen-pen." Yui said with a smile as watched the young red head flee for her life down the hall way. The mother then turned her attention to her son in the room.

"That was quick Shinji-sweetie. You don't mess around. So should I be getting the spare room prepared for my first grandchild? I have the wall paper and colour scheme all picked out." She hastily dropped the models legs and pulled out a sample book from an interior decorator.

"Nothing happened," the young Ikari male walked over to her and took over from Pen-pen. The little bird thanked him with a formal bow and then set off to after Asuka and the others.

'If I don't get there quickly, I'll only have what's left of the carcass,' the bird thought.

"My little Shinji has become a man. I'm so proud of you." She wiped a tear from her eye.

OUTSIDE HANMAKI INN

"Are you sure that it's safe to stay here?" the beauty named Akane asked the photographer. She voice the concern shared by the rest of him. After Saki's accident followed by an all out bawl in the main room worried them. The icing on the cake was Asuka's tremendous shriek.

"They are just a little strange. But after talking to Ikari san, we have nothing to fear." Tasuku replied while still unloading his equipment from the back of the mini van.

"But that woman was really scary…" Yuka the youngest of the group was easily frightened by Misato's aggressive behaviour. To her she seemed like some sort of woman beast with flaring nostrils, demonic eyes and horns protruding from the top of her head.

"Hahaha… You have a very creative imagination Ms. Osawa," the short man laughed. "But there is no reason to be afraid."

Just as the Amada Tasuku spoke, a body came flying out of the main room where the fight was happening. Glass and wood splinters shattered everyway. The new visitors shielded their faces from the flying debris. The body hit the ground awkwardly and rolled within a few feet of them.

"He's dead! Let's get the hell out of here!" some one of the girls yelled and jumped straight into the driver seat of the mini van. The rest of the girls followed suit and piled in. Before Tasuku, could say anything the body which was presumed dead sat up and stood on its feet.

"I never knew Naoko could use the nun-chucks." Fuyutsuki checked his jaw to make sure everything was still in place. He quickly realised where he was and tried to save his embarrassment.

"Please excuse my interruption," the old man said with a cough and offered formal bow. He then started to walk back towards the inn.

"You see!" Nanami Wakase said to the group. "They're all crackpots. Flying out a window isn't something normal people do everyday."

"Ok… Ok…" the photographer sensed that the models really wanted to leave. Past experience had taught him that upset models always ended up in with a stressful photo shoot. He didn't particularly like taking on these sorts of jobs but they generally paid better than his passion of more artistic photography.

"We still have to get Saki. So let head back in. I'll have to explain our change of plans to Ikari san." Tasuku was a decent man and always did the right thing. He led the group of tentative models back into the inn.

Tasuku lead the group through the main foyer. Every time a sudden crash or a wail of pain came from the room where the battle royale was happening the girls would clutch onto each other instinctively.

"I hope Saki is ok," one of the girls whispered as they trudged through what they thought was the house of horrors at the local fair.

Because they were huddling closely together, they failed to see the trip wire at the base of the stairs. Plus it was something that you didn't normally look out for inside an inn.

All of a sudden, the violent sounds of the fight were drone out by a growing rumbling. One of the models had a hand on the stair's banister. She noticed that it slowly began to shake in rhythm with ominous rumbling from the top of the stair case.

"EEEKKK!" Yuka screamed on the top of her lungs when she realised that it was an enormous boulder rolling their way. They immediately turned tail and ran the other way.

"WE'RE GOING DIE! WE"RE GOING DIE!" Nanami shouted as she ran as fast as she could. High school was the last time she went this fast and her legs were going to give way. Luckily someone had the foresight to pull everyone to the left and into the table tennis room. The boulder continued on its straight path, right out the front door and over the top of their mini van.

"Oh God! We have no way to leave now." Nao said as she observed the now pancake steel mini van. The other Yebisu calendar girls slumped to the ground from exhaustion and fright. But before they could contemplate the full extent of no more mini van, there was something else in the room with them.

"What's this?" Akane felt something bother the back of her neck like an annoying label on a brand new shirt. She reached back and pulled it out in front of her.

HISS…

"EEEKKK!" she threw the almost six foot snake across the room, only to have another land on the top of her head. It slithered down her face and flickered its tongue at her.

"OH MY GOD SNAKES!" someone pointed out that the ceiling was totally covered in the legless creatures. Soon it began raining snakes and the inn was starting to become a true house of horrors.

UPSTAIRS

"You like these little booties?" Shinji's mother held a pair of matching blue and pink knitted boots in each hand.

"What about them?" Shinji was starting to loose his patience with Yui's obsession with grand children. After she went through every colour combination in the interior decorator book, she thought it was a good idea to show him what she had knitted. It didn't occur to her that he could have needed some help moving Saki into one of the spare rooms.

"You better not be starting to act like your baka father." His reaction caused an unpleasant look upon her face.

"Actually… where is father?" the boy hadn't seen his father in a while. Normally he would have been around for at least his daily beating.

"Don't worry about that poor excuse of a man. We have more important things to talk about." She waved the booties right in his face. Yui was about to launch into another episode of grandchildren when a gentle knock on the door saved him.

"Excuse me," Tasuku said entering the room. He took one look at the booties Yui was holding and it warmed his heart.

"Those remind me of the pair my wife knitted for my granddaughter." Shinji slapped his forehead knowing what Tasuku had said there was no running away from.

"OH REALLY!" Yui almost shouted. "You must have photos!"

"Of course." From his back pocket the older man pulled out a separate wallet, just for the purpose of holding his grand daughters photos.

"She's so adorable! How old is she?" they continued the banter and Shinji saw this as a possible chance for a getaway. He tipped toe to the door and managed to open it without the two adults noticing.

"STUPID BIRDS!" It was Asuka and it seemed that some of the penguins had caught up with her. She was putting up a good fight against the hundred odd feathered attackers. Shinji wasn't sure but she must have had at least five around her head and face pecking wildly and another half dozen around her ankles. Behind that were the stranglers, waiting for one of the front birds to get thrown off. They would then take its place.

"Pen-pen?" the family pet was in the mob with the stranglers holding up a set of massively out of proportion carving utensils. He seem like he was giving orders to the others.

"WARK WARK WARK WARK!" which translated as, "Distract her and then hack the hind leg off!"

Back inside the room the grand parent and hopeful grand parent continue their chat when a gap in the ceiling appeared. Rei floated down from the darkness with the skill and elegance of a stealth ninja. Her appearance wasn't noticed by Shinji or Tasuku, only her mother knew she was coming.

"Look at what I made Rei-sweetie!" she thrust her knitted booties in her face.

"Mother we have a situation," Rei said stoically.

"I'm aware. But don't worry the arrows we installed weren't poison tipped. I'm not sure about the snakes. I would have tested one on your father but he's no where to be found." The thought of Gendo caused her fist to ball up and she shook with rage. Rei shook her head. It was just like her mother to forget the fact that it was her that launch Gendo into orbit and then blame his disappearance on Gendo himself.

"Rei? When did you get here?" Surprised at his sister's appearance Shinji across the room but stopped when she held out her palm.

"Please a step to the left brother." She said without blinking.

"Huh?" It was a strange request but Rei would normally ask him to particular things at certain moments and they usually saved his life. He did so and a second later a spear shot up through the floor and impaled in the ceiling. If he hadn't listened to Rei's advice it would have been Shinji kebabs for dinner.

"Shinji!" Yui cried full of concern and immediately went over to check her son for any injuries. After making sure nothing harm her precious boy, her concern turned to anger.

"Who did this! I'll make them pay!" She whipped the trademark wooden spoon in an attack ready stance.

"The spear was installed by us, Mother, as part of the secure system for Brother's safety," Rei said in her usual calm tone. You couldn't tell but she was embarrassed by the fact that she had to remind her mother.

"Really? I don't remember it being in the blueprint." The mother looked puzzled and scratched her head with the wooden spoon. Rei let out a quiet sigh.

"A security system?" Shinji and Tasuku asked together. Mother and daughter went on to explain how Shinji's little disappearance had forced them to install such a facility. They used the time while the girls were playing happy sack with Shinji to set everything up. Although, not one told Shinji he was half naked and in the sack.

"So that's where you were…" Shinji mused.

"I even had time bake you and your sister's favourite cake…" She paused for a moment as if she remembered something.

"OH MY GOD! MY CAKE!" with the arrival of the new visitors and the sudden topic of grandchildren had made her forget about the cake she was baking.

"We have more pressing matters, mother," Rei not so gently reminded her often forgetfully parent.

"Well it is on the way to the kitchen. So I suppose we could stop by." Yui lead the way downstairs followed closely by Tasuku-san. Rei reached over and grabbed Shinji's hand.

"I won't let any harm come to you. Follow my exact footing," she said taking out of the room. Shinji gulped, he knew when his sister was serious and now was one of these moments.

"SHIT! SOMEONE HELP ME KILL THESE BIRDS!" Asuka was still running and fighting off her hungry attackers.

WHACK

Rei pulled out a wooden spoon of her own and delivered a blow to the redhead which set her unconscious to the floor. The birds flocked in and ready for feeding time.

"Rei!" Shinji couldn't believe what his sister had done.

"They are part of the security system. Mother intentionally made them hungry so they would attack with more ferociousness." She gave a straight out answer without even hesitating.

"I don't believe what you just said but I wasn't talking about that. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" He pointed to the wooden spoon in her left hand.

"This was mother's first spoon when she was training." She skilfully spun it around between her fingers like a drummer would a stick.

"It's smaller and lighter then the current model that Mother uses because it's the beginner's model."

"Good God…" Shinji and his father worst fear had come true. His family had now two wooden spoon wielding assassins. But before the news sunk in Rei began leading him away. She knew her brother didn't like the sight of blood and with feeding time about to begin it wasn't a good idea to stick around.

"WARK" Pen-pen was practically salivating as he sharpened his utensils to use them on his prey.

"What the hell happen here!" the brother and sister stood at the top of what use to be the staircase. Each step had been flatten and it almost resembled a ramp. It barely took both their weight but they managed to get down.

The unusual sound of a singing came from the main room. As they walked pass, Shinji caught a glimpse of all the women with arms over each other's shoulder chanting a victory song. The one woman not in the group was Ritsuko was busily attending each of the male victims around the room.

"I hope they're alight." Shinji said as he noticed that his friends weren't moving and Dr. Akagi was charging a portable defibrillator machine.

"CLEAR!" she called out before trying to jump start the male victim's heart.

"Try not to step on any snakes." Rei warned him as they entered the next room.

"SNAKES!"

"Yes. These are the same snakes that Mother mentioned earlier." She quickly guided him through without disturbing any of the snakes.

Rei had to pull up short in the next room when it was apparent that a massive pit was now where the floor was suppose to be. It was had been at least ten feet deep and at the bottom was one of the model lying face first in the muddy bottom. Just like his friends she wasn't moving either.

They scooted around the sides hugging the wall until they reached another one of the calendar girls stuck against the wall with numerous arrows.

"She has just fainted. The arrows have missed all your vital organs." Rei checked her pulse. Her steely nerve was starting to bug Shinji.

"We should move on." She quickly pulled him around without even thinking about trying the two young women. The next room was where Yui and Mr. Tasuku were.

"Be careful where you step." Rei brought Shinji's attention to the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY!"

"Bear traps. I thought that was obvious." The rusted unmistakable shape of the steel traps littered the floor. A few had been set off and sent a reminder what would happen if you got caught.

"We didn't have enough bear traps so we substituted some with mouse traps." Rei explained as Shinji rubbed his temples.

"So which do you prefer? I personally like the peach combination." Yui was holding her décor book open and asking the photographer. He didn't response but remained still like a statue with his mouth open in awe.

"Don't like the peach hey… I guess it's only really a summer colour." As Yui continued to rant on, in front of them was another model swinging in a giant rope net like the ones they have on safari.

Just beyond the netted girl was the last one and she was frozen like an ice cube. The poor thing was only a few feet from the outside room. Now she was frozen in time with icicles hanging off her.

"Mother managed to connect all of the refrigeration units together to form an instant ice blast." Shinji couldn't handle anymore surprises or his sister's explanations. He buried his face in his hands and wished that everything was bad nightmare.

THE AFTERMATH

The clean up took a long time and it was well into the late afternoon that everything was back to where it was suppose to be or the best that they could manage. The men and the models were upstairs recovering from their respective ordeals. Luckily no serious injuries or deaths had occurred. Ritsuko with the defibrillator was just a misdiagnosis by the doctor, or so she said. It was surprising that a full jolt from the heart starting machine didn't kill Touji.

But Touji's well being was the least of everyone's worries. It was Shinji that everyone was concerned for. They had expected him to be angry and express that anger accordingly but this wasn't the case. He had just said five words which had more impact than anything shouted could have had.

I don't care any more…

Those were the five words were the last thing he had said to them before walking out of the inn. They were calling his name but he just continued walking away. It was only then that it dawn on everyone what had happen due to their actions.

Shinji didn't know how long he was walking the forest surrounding the hot springs but by the time he found his way back to the inn the sun was setting. The inn was quiet and peaceful which was unusual.

Led by Yui and Rei everyone quickly filed out of the inn to meet him. His mother was about to call his name but Shinji turn to his left began walking away from the group towards another entrance into the inn. He felt that he was still upset and confused at what to do. Instinctively he did what he always did which was to run away until it was absolutely necessary for him to face the issue.

Yui was about the give chase when someone grabbed onto her hand. She turned around and was about to give her a mouthful when she realised to was Tasuku-san.

"Would you mind if I spoke to him? I think a man to man chat might be better in this case," the short man said to her. She reluctantly agreed and allowed him to go after her son.

"Young man," Tasuku called out to Shinji, just before he made through a side door to the inn.

"Not now…" he sighed under his breathe. Shinji felt that one of them would go after him but didn't think it would be the newest visitor to the hot spring. Shinji stopped but didn't face Tasuku.

"I was wondering if you could show me around the area." Shinji turned around at this point and saw that he was carrying a camera with a long lens.

"This is the first time I've been to the Hanamaki region and I would like to test out my equipment on some of the natural beauty before getting down to shooting the calendar."

The chance to show Tasuku around gave Shinji a reason to stay away from the inn and the others. He accepted and the two went back out into the forest. They walked for a while without talking. Occasionally, they would stop and Tasuku would take some shoots. Eventually Shinji took him to the fresh water stream where he was kidnapped.

"Wow! I didn't think such places still existing in Japan today." The older man was amazed at the natural wonder before him.

"Just don't get too close to the water." Shinji advised him from past experiences. He was in no mode to go fishing after someone captured by a tribe of carnivorous penguins.

Tasuku was too busy snapping away to actually pay any real attention to Shinji's remark.

"So… How are the models?" Tasuku purposely ignored Shinji because he wanted him to be the first to open up. He did this by using his camera.

"Oh they are fine, although I'm glad that I'm not stuck in the same room as they are. We are talking about little princesses' attitudes combined with super model egos." Tasuku caused Shinji to smile a little.

"I know what you mean." Shinji said. He found a similarity in the models with his own family and friends.

"If you understand what I mean then why are you avoiding them?" Tasuku thought it was time to get to the point. It caused Shinji to look away from him.

"They… They just don't understand that they can't keep on behaving like that. Life's not something that you can take for granted or waste on silly idiotic games." The young man said with a bit of venom.

"That's true but life's also too short to be taken too seriously. If you can't enjoy yourself then what's the point of living?" Tasuku had a valid point and made Shinji think that he might have been a little hard on them.

"Oh… Looks like I'm almost out of battery." The photographer looked down at the battery gauge on his high end digital camera.

"Let's head back. I bet your mother has made nice dinner for you." Shinji nodded and pair made their way towards the inn.

HANAMAKI INN

True to his word, Tasuku and Shinji made it back to the inn and in the dinning room were two meals laid out. Yui and Rei were waiting patiently in the seats next to the placed meals. Misato was also at the table carelessly drawing circles from the condensation water from her beer cans on the table top. Naoko and Kyoko were lounging in front of the television, aimlessly flicking through the channels. Asuka and the school girls were in the corner flipping through a couple of magazines.

Shinji's mother and sister instantly looked up when he entered the room but didn't say anything. Shinji didn't say anything either, he took his seat in from of the meal and took a sip from the miso soup.

"The soup is nice." Shinji commented from behind the bowl. Yui and Rei instantly sat up and looked at the boy.

"The miso. It's nice." He commented again.

"OH SHINJI! YOU FORGIVE ME!" Yui screamed as both mother and daughter tackled him. His soup bowl went flying into the air as well as the liquid inside.

"I didn't say that!" he tried to get myself free from his mother and daughter's hugs.

"Oh thank you!" Yui repeated as she peppered his face with tiny little kisses.

"Alright! Let the drinking begin." Misato reached in and hauled Shinji across the table to her side. She held the poor boy in her patent Misato hold which involved Shinji's face buried between her sizable breasts.

"Beer always tastes better with my Shin-chan!" She yelled cracking open a Yesibu can and jiggling her assets in Shinji face.

"Get off him you drunk slut!" It was Asuka this time that grabbed Shinji and pulled in away. She was standing on the table with Shinji collapsed by her side.

"Now that everything is back to normal, let get back to business!" Yui pulled out her interior decorator's book.

"I resent that comment!" Misato stood up from her chair to go eye level with Asuka.

"I'm not a drunk and do not have a drinking problem." Asuka's accusation of Misato being a slut was totally missed by the purple haired woman.

"Are you ok Shinji?" Mana asked as she and Hikari went to his side. His flushed face caused some concern. But they were soon pushed out of the way by two other individuals and Shinji found himself in the middle of another female sandwich.

"Come on Shinji… Wouldn't you rather spend your time with a pair of experienced women like us?" Kyoko said with her hand wondering towards Shinji's lower region.

"Kyoko is right. We can enjoy each other's company for the rest of the night." Naoko said before closing in and whispering something in his ear which caused an instant nosebleed in the young man.

"What the hell?" Ritsuko and Maya were upstairs looking in the resident patients when they heard the commotion.

"Maya… Can you get the first aid kit again? If we don't do something, Shinji may bleed to death," Ritsuko sighed as she watched everyone fuss over and molest the poor lad.

"You really are a lucky man, Shinji…" Amada Tasuku said to himself while eating his dinner.

THE NEXT MORNING

"What the!" Shinji sat up from his futon and checked his room frantically. He looked under the tatami mat and searched every nook and cranny.

"Where the hell is everyone?" Normally someone would have invaded the sanctum of his sleep but not this morning. He didn't know whether to be concerned or pleasantly surprised. But his curiosity got the better of him and decided to have a look around for himself. Deep down he feared that his mother and the others were up to their old tricks again.

Shinji was half way down the recently repaired staircase when he heard the Tasuku voice coming from the kitchen.

"That's it! Now could you just shift over to the left a little?"

Shinji saw a flash come from behind the kitchen door. He didn't hesitate and went straight in. Another flash from a camera went off and it blinded him temporary.

"Oh! Good morning, Shinji-sweetie!" his mother called out to him excitedly. His eyes were still seeing spots of reds and blues from the second camera flash and didn't really see what was going on.

"We'll be done in a minute. I'll have your breakfast done soon." She said walking back to the counter.

"Okay… WHAT THE HELL!" His eyes focused again and saw what was going on. A number of spot lights were setup around the kitchen to brighten the area. Amada Tasuku was sitting on one of this cases that were lucky to not have been in the mini van when the boulder crushed it. The rest of the girls were on the other side of the kitchen just out of the set. But it was his mother that shocked him. She was bent over on the kitchen counter wearing only a maid's apron and nothing else. The apron was a dark navy blue with white frills along the edges and the pockets. It barely covered her body and curves neatly hugged the thin material.

"Don't I look pretty Shinji?" His mother asked standing up from the erotic pose.

"What? What? What?" he could only stammer his words.

"Your mother felt bad about ruining my calendar shoot yesterday so, she and the other volunteered to model for the project." Tasuku explained as he continued fiddling with his camera.

"But. But. But."

"How many times have I told you to brush your hair?" Yui said walking over to him and started patting down the bits of hair sticking up from his head. While she was doing this Shinji notice that the photography shoot had another audience. All bandaged up and covered with bruises Kaji and co were leering from the windows.

"Damn… I didn't know Shinji's mum was so hot," Kensuke said almost salivating.

"MILF alert!" Touji grinned.

"I now know why that crazy bastard stays with her." Kaji was referring to Gendo.

Shinji quickly went over and slammed the shutters in their faces.

"You can't do this!" He almost shouted at his mother. His words and action took her by surprise and her bottom lip started to tremble.

"What do you mean?" She said sounding upset.

"What do I mean? I'm talking about this photo shoot. Do you know how many people will see you when the calendar is released?"

"You don't think I'm pretty… WAAAAAA!" she collapsed on her knees in the middle of the kitchen and started balling her eyes out.

"Look what you did Shinji." Kyoko said shaking her head at the young man.

"You should know how conscious your mother is about her looks." Naoko backup her friend.

"I'm not worried about her appearance. Do you know what repercussion they are if she does something like this?" he argued with them.

"WAAAAAA!" Yui opened the nearest oven and turned on the gas. She stuck her head in the steel box in an attempt to end her life. Shinji and the others quickly rushed over and tried to pull her out.

"She's a stubborn little thing. I think we better get the grease out." Misato said straining.

"Alright fine! You can do the shoot!" Shinji shouted and Yui quickly backed out of the oven. The sudden slack but her caused the girls to fly backwards and cause a clang of pots and pans.

"Oh thank you Shinji!" She pulled her son into a motherly hug, showing no signs that of crying or an attempted suicide just a moment ago.

"Now you go wait over by the girls while mummy finishes being beautiful." She told him like a six year old.

"Are we all set now?" Tasuku asked holding a newly configured camera.

"Okay!" Yui chirped and bent back over onto the counter.

"It was like this wasn't it?" She said before Shinji fainted his head hitting the floor with a thud at his mother's pose.

"This is not a good sign. I hate to see what happens when it's our turn in front of the camera." Naoko said looking over Shinji.

MISATO'S PHOTO SHOOT

Shinji woke up and found his head resting in his mother's lap.

"Welcome back, Shinji dear." She said to him as he sat up. He saw a tray of food next to her and thanked God that she was now dressed as he expected her to be.

"Would you like something to eat?" True to her words, Yui had made his breakfast after finishing posing for the camera.

"Where am I? What's going on?" Shinji asked reaching over for the cup of tea on the tray.

"It's Misato's turn to model for the calendar." Yui motion her head towards the scene. Misato was scantly dressed in a snow white lingerie set complete with stockings and suspenders. She was lying on her side on within a mixture of plush cushions. Her hair was down and her hands placed in a provocative manner over her body.

"Hi Shin-chan!" Misato broke her position and waved like a little school girl at her favourite boy. She got up and quickly scurried over to him. Her lingerie set providing little support for her well proportioned assets.

"Tasuku-san gave me this lovely outfit. See it's nice and smooth." Without thinking she grabbed his hand and placed it on her left breast. He suffered another nose bleed and collapsed back into his mother's lap.

"Oh I know! I'll give him a little surprise when he wakes up." She reached around her back to undo the clips to her bra. She wanted to tie them on his head like ear muffs.

"Ms. Katsuragi. Do you think we could finish the shoot?" Tasuku gave her a friendly reminder that they where still working. A groan from the viewing gallery followed. The men were outside the window and this was quite a feat since they were in Misato's guest room on the second story.

"Soak it up boys!" Kaji slapped Aoba and Hyuga on the back as they suspended themselves from the rope hung from the roof.

As Misato went back to the set and resume the position. A small serrated blade on a pole came into the men's field of vision.

"What is that?" Aoba asked and then the blade started cutting through the rope.

"WAIT! NO!" they all pleaded but it was too late. The blade made little work of the rope and sent the men plummeting back down to the earth.

"It's quite rude to stare." Rei stated as matter of fact while still holding the pole which had the hand saw tied onto the end.

"Yeah! No free looks baka Kaji!" Misato followed up with pulled down eyelid and outward tongue.

KYOKO'S PHOTO SHOOT

There was something wet and warm being pressed against Shinji's mouth that disrupted his breathing and caused him to wake. To his shock he found that Misato was giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation.

"Stand back Misato! Everyone clear!" Yui shouted as she held the two paddles of the defibrillator machine. Shinji quickly realised what was happening and got out of there quick smart.

"I'm fine now… Just don't touch me with those things," Shinji rasped out.

"If you say so Shinji sweetie." Carelessly, Yui tossed the charged paddles over her shoulder. As it happen Kyoko, was currently posing in a skimpy swimsuit outfit that just comprised of three tiny nylon triangles and thin straps. The defibrillator pads landed in the hot spring and there was a huge bang followed by a puff of smoke.

"Do you smell something?" Misato sniffed the air again. "Smells like bacon."

The auburn haired beauty who was posing like a Playboy Centrefold instead of a beer calendar model was now floating face down in the water. Shinji quickly went over to the water and pulled her out.

"Kyoko-san?" he shook her gently.

"Oh Shinji… I'm dying… Please kiss me before I die…" She slowly reached up with one hand and touched his cheek almost like a climatic ending to a romance movie.

"Look I'm dying too Shinji! Hurry and make love to me!" Misato quickly lay down on the ground like a dying heroine in an attempt to get some of Shinji's attention.

"You're not dead because I haven't killed your yet!" Asuka's demonic voice ruined the moment as she charged her mother and Misato with a plank of two by four with a rusty nail punched through the end.

"Oh my…" Yui rubbed a tear from the corner of her eye. Rei was sitting next to her and handled a tissue. She took it and blew her nose.

"This is just like that movie I saw…" the mother of two wept.

"Well I guess we have enough of the swimsuit shots." Tasuku said as Asuka chased Shinji, Misato and her mother around the hot spring.

THE FINAL PHOTO SHOOT

"Sempai are you sure that this is okay?" Maya asked Ritsuko as she looked at the modified school girl uniform she had been given to wear.

"Just bare with it Maya. It'll be over soon and this time today we'll be all back in Tokyo-3 where everything will be back to normal." Ritsuko had no idea why she agreed to help but was starting to regret it. She tried pulling down the scanty tartan skirts which literally showed the bottom of their asses.

Their white school shirts were just as bad. They were a few sizes too small and stretched due to a grown woman's anatomy. They barely managed to get the buttons done and thought they would pop from their stitches.

"How are you girls going?" there was knock of the door and it was the photographer checking on his subjects.

"We'll be out in a minute." Ritsuko called out to him. Before leaving she checked herself in the mirror and shook her head.

'I spent five years in Japan's number one university. I was the youngest to graduate and topped my class. I'm head of my own department at NERV Heavy Industries, the biggest and richest company in the world today. I achieved all this and now I'm demoralising myself in such a way…' the blonde scientist sighed.

The main entertainment area had been turned into a makeshift classroom with a number of desks and a portable blackboard.

WHACK. WHACK.

"You students are late! Tardiness will not be tolerated." Naoko had a pointer and smacked the surface of the blackboard. She was dressed in an almost dominatrix outfit, complete with fish net stockings, stiletto heels and corset. She finished the ensemble with her daughter's lab coat. A pair of lightly framed glasses help extend the hint of her beauty and danger.

"Hey, that's my coat!" Ritsuko told annoyance to the fact her mother was wearing her white coat.

"You will address me as Ma'am or Miss!" She smacked the blackboard with her pointer again.

"Naoko is really getting into character isn't she?" Yui said as she watched the school scene photo take place before her.

"Hahaha! Hey Ritsu, I can see your bum!" Misato joked as she sat with folded legs on top of a gagged and bound Asuka. It was deemed by the group that she be restrained for safety reasons. Misato's wasn't lying either. The length of both skirts on Ritsuko and her apprentice showed that they had blue and white panties respectively.

"Okay… Ritsuko could you life one leg up on top the table and leave the other on the ground," Tasuku gave an instruction from behind the lens.

"WHAT!" She knew well if that happen the so called skirt she was wearing would ride up and expose everything.

"What's the matter? Don't you want Shinji to see you like this?" Her mother's words caused the blonde to instantly turn red. Ritsuko had totally forgotten about Shinji's presence because she was so concerned about covering her own shame.

"Why do I have to be here?" Shinji asked while stuck between his mother and sister.

"Do you like to see pretty girls wearing little clothing?" Yui asked surprised at her son's question. Then one of her worst fears came to light.

"OH MY GOD! MY SHINJI IS GAY!" She screamed as her dreams of becoming a grandmother slowly started to fade away.

"WHAT!" everyone including Shinji screamed back.

"I'll bring him back to the fold." Naoko was quick to action since she was already in character as the sexy older teacher. She walked up to the young man, her heels clicking and hips swaying as she went along.

"It's time for your special lesson Shinji-kun…" She purred as she used the pointed to tilt his head up to see her ample cleavage helped along with the corset.

"Please help him Naoko! I want grandchildren!" Yui cried like a baby as Rei handed her another tissue.

"Back off, Mrs. Robinson!" Misato snatched Shinji away and plonked him in her lap. She didn't take into account that she was still sitting on Asuka's back and the extra weight caused the young red head's eyes to bulge out for a moment.

"You are not even a pupil of this class woman so stay out of our business!" Naoko ripped off the lab coat and began stalking towards the pair.

"Don't worry Shin-chan. If we die today then at least it'll be in each other's arms." Misato said to him.

"WHAT! DIE!" he started fighting to get free.

"IKARI!" the famous surname was growled low and dangerously. At the doorway was Kyoko. She had miraculously come back from the dead and was holding a large electric cattle prong in one hand. Sparks could be seen from the two barbs at the end of the stick.

"PAY BACK'S A BITCH AND HERE I COME!" Asuka's mother lunged at the other mother and they both began wrestling on the ground.

"I think that should be enough." While all the chaos was happening, Tasuku managed to get Ritsuko and Maya to posing lying against each other against the back drop of the school class room.

FINAL MOMENTS AT THE INN

Everything was done. Another hired mini van had arrived and Mr. Tasuku busy loading his equipment into it. His original models were well enough to make onboard under their own power and sat quietly in the mini van, the glass of the windows the only thing keeping them apart from Kaji and his horde of horny men.

"Once again." Amada Tasuku turned towards Yui and her group of girls. "Thank you for everything. I'll send you all copies once they touch up the images in my studio. And depending how things work out they may be some money coming your way."

"Just make sure you Photoshop the cellulite from Misato's thighs." Kyoko never missed an opportunity for a cheap shot.

"SHUT UP!" the purple hair woman took a swing at Asuka's mother which she easily ducked. Everyone shared a laugh at her expense.

On the other side of the inn, Shinji was sat on his own. He was staring at the horizon where the sun was setting. The mountain side with it trees and birds flying off into the distance made it a sight to remember. He was too preoccupied with scenery that he didn't see Asuka walking up beside him.

"Hey Baka. What are you doing?" she brought him out of his trance and plonked herself next to him.

"What happen to you?" He looked at her and noticed that she was covered in band aids and tiny scratches. It was strange that he didn't see them before.

"That stupid bird of Misato's…" Asuka was literally grinding her teeth at the thought of the warm water penguin. Her reaction caused him to laugh a little.

"I'm glad that you find it amusing," she said half annoyed but glad that she made him laugh and smile. In fact it was the first time she had heard him laugh while on there trip here.

"It's a shame that we never realise how beautiful something is before we have to leave it." Those were uncharacteristic words from Asuka and what she did next was even more out of character. She lean her head against his shoulder and entwine her fingers with his. At first Shinji tensed up and but then relaxed.

"Ah… Asuka…" Shinji said confused at what was happening or what he was suppose to do next.

"Just be quiet." She told him and the pair sat there enjoying the moment while they could. Unknown to them they were being watched by a pair of very interested set of eyes.

CLICK.

"That's a keeper." Yui giggled quietly to herself as she lowered her camera. The fact she did this standing on one leg was quite a feat. The other leg she had against a shoji blocking the hallway from the other girls. Their arms had managed to protrude from the sides and muffled cried could be heard from the other side of the bamboo partition.

"Now, now girls. You should all be glad that my Shinji isn't gay."

END OF CHAPTER

OMAKE - ADVENTURES OF CHIBI BAKA GENDO
Gendo's little chibi legs had walked what seem like an eternity. The soles on his shoes were no more and he felt like he was on a pilgrimage or something. His appearance far beyond dishevel and with his over grown beard made him look like a homeless person who should be handing out pamphlets outside a strip joint.

But all hardships he endured were worth it. He had reached his destination – The Hanamaki Hot Spring Inn. But something was astray. A mountain of empty sardine cans sat at the front and to the side.

"I don't remember the inn being his rustic." As Gendo got closer to the inn he noticed that the building was almost falling apart. Then the whole structure imploded on its self. He hit the deck and covered his head. When he looked up a pile of burning rumble stood where the inn was. A sheet of paper survived the carnage and floated down landed on his head. There was a message scribbled on it

Baka Gendo,

Gone back to Tokyo 3

Your super model ultra sexy wife and soon to be grandmother, Yui Ikari

PS – Please turn over

Before instantly scrunched it up in his little hands he turned it over. It was the invoice for they stay at the inn and other accumulated costs.

"Twenty million Yen worth of fish! That woman!" He couldn't believe what she had done and threw the ball of paper on the ground. It caused an avalanche of empty sardine cans to rain down on top of him. When the landslide of fish tins finished only a pair of legs could be seen protruding from underneath the pile, twitching sporadically.

AUTHOR'S NOTES
Well, that was a long chapter… I originally wanted to chapter 11 and 12 in one and planned on doing a Valentines chapter just in time for Feb 14 but you know how things go… In truth I should have made chapter 12 into 2 chapters. That way I could have made 2 updates. But the Valentines Day chapter will be next even though it may be a little late.

Some of you might be wondering where I got the names for the models doing the calendar shoot. That was thanks to Lord Raa and Wickerman. I think they are j-pop idols or just random names. Sorry if I mislead anyone to think that other anime characters may be making a cameo appearance. And Amada Tasuku is the actually name of a Japanese photographer. I just entered Japanese photographer in Google and got his name (wonderful thing Google)

Anyway, thanks for all the positive review and keep them coming. And thank you to everyone that helped with ideas and proof reading. You guys know who you are.

Thanks for reading, wonga316