Chapter Twelve

Halfway to Anywhere

Edward cradled me tightly in his arms as he ran. The trees were such a sickening blur as we flew past, I had to keep my eyes shut or risk getting sick. I was already feeling extremely lightheaded. He ran faster than I had could have ever imagined. Running to save my life. Taking me somewhere away from the meadow, away from Charlie. Away from everything I had ever known. I knew from the frantic pace he had set that I would never be going back to that life. At least, not as a human.

Charlie had seen him. Seen the sun light up his pale skin, revealing my glorious dark angel. There was no turning back.

"It was not supposed to happen this way." Edward's last words played repeatedly in my head. Oh Charlie. Oh Daddy.

Suddenly, the sound of quiet voices replaced the rushing noise of the wind through the trees. I was inside somewhere. I didn't know if I had the strength to even open my eyes. It took all I had left just to keep breathing even though every ragged breath made me wish to pass out.

"Everything's ready." Alice's voice was so tight, as if she were trying desperately not to cry. "Oh, Edward, you will change her! She will survive!"

"Lay her here." Carlisle's calm soothing voice came from very close to me.

It had taken only minutes, Edward had run from the meadow all the way to his house, but he still seemed to be running. Though I didn't dare open my eyes, he seemed to be darting aimlessly around the room, trying to find someplace safe to lay me down.

Just put me down. Please, anywhere, Edward!

Suddenly he stopped, placing me somewhere high, but not on the couch. My back lay against a cool hard surface, although not on the floor.

A soft chilly hand rested on my forehead, brushing the tangle of hair from my face.

"Bella, don't be afraid. We are all here for you." The sweet voice of the woman who would be my new mother, Esme. "We all love you, Bella."

Then, another icy hand lay over my heart and fingers just as cold, touched my throat, pressing gently inward.

"Her pulse is slow and shallow, she is very close Edward. Bella, honey, can you open your eyes for me?"

I had to make a conscience effort and finally they did open. Carlisle. There was never a time that I appreciated his full 'doctor mode' more than that very moment. He looked into my eyes then stepped back and the man I lived for came into my field of vision. His eyes almost entirely black with virtually no white except at the very edges. He placed his hands tenderly on either side of my head, lacing his fingers through my hair. Tears I could no longer hold back began to flow from my eyes.

"Shhh, don't cry, my love." His wonderful breath blew into me. Little kisses from his eager mouth covered my face, my mouth. "Very soon you will be with me forever." His sweet irresistible breath blowing heavily into my open mouth, each breath filled my lungs with his thirst.

"Edward?" Carlisle said softly. Then his voice changed, "Edward!"

"Yes, Carlisle." His obsidian eyes never left mine as his voice took on that hypnotic quality again.

"Listen to me!" Carlisle commanded, "You must remember, as you bite, when you feel your venom triggered, you must not force that first response into her blood, she is too weak, it would kill her instantly. Draw it in along with her blood until it passes, then when you have controlled the venom flow, force small amounts back into her to begin the change. Then you must release her. Do you understand?"

"I understand." As the thirst for my blood took him over, his face changed, became even more unbelievably beautiful. His voice was full of an emotion I had never heard up until that very moment; I was prey and he hungered for me.

This is all my fault! My fear is causing him to lose control! Can't they see what's happening!

Edward brought his face even closer to mine, his lips brushing against mine with each word he spoke, his every breath pushing life into me, keeping me alive long enough to take what he most wanted.

"Carlisle, please, if you think for one second that I am losing control, please don't let me kill her. She is my life." He pressed more gentle kisses on my mouth.

Please Carlisle! Can't you see! He's going to kill me! He can't help it! Unfortunately, Edward was the only one who could hear my pleas.

"Edward, I have faith in you. However, I will stay by your side. We all are here for you and Bella." Even though I couldn't see him, I felt Carlisle take my hand and squeeze it gently.

"I know."

Edward, Please! Let Carlisle change me! I'm scared! I'm so scared! I had never been more afraid to die than at that very moment.

Edward placed his mouth next to my ear and then his amazing voice filled my head. He sang the most beautiful song I had ever heard as I lay seconds from death.

"Edward, there's no time. Do it now." Carlisle's voice seemed so far away.

One cold hand drifted slowly down my neck as he turned my head to the side. His breath a glacial draft on the hollow space below my ear. His soft icy lips came to rest on my skin, numbing the area in preparation for the pain that would ultimately come.

I had fully expected to feel tremendous pain as his teeth sank into my tender flesh and was shocked to realize he had pierced my skin when I heard the sound my blood made going down his throat as he swallowed.

Oh God! Edward!

Gasping for breath, I marveled at the unexpected notion of my hot blood quenching his deepest desire. He had waited so long, fought back every instinct he had to have me in his life and not do this one thing, not bite me as he was all in an effort to save my life. But, could he, could he save me? Did he still have the will to stop? By the way his mouth pulled at my neck, I had serious doubts the man I loved was still in there somewhere.

He drank slowly, deeply and fully. I could hear a moan rumble deep within him. Closing my eyes, I gave in to what I was feeling. No pain, just floating, drifting away to some unknown paradise.

Slowly dying, I was giving myself up to the only love I had ever known and I let go slipping into darkness.

Suddenly, I became aware of a burning sensation, a sudden pressure on my neck where Edward's mouth was still touching my skin. Then fire. A slow moving flame that began to creep down my arm and up my neck with each feeble beat of my heart. With his cold skin touching my cheek, his mouth rested next to my ear, breathlessly he whispered my name over and over. The fire slowly crept down through my body and as it did, I felt myself involuntarily curl up into a ball. It seemed that I lay there for minutes, like a specimen under the lens of a microscope as all eyes in the room watched me.

Then the pain hit me like a wrecking ball.

OH MY GOD! IT HURTS SO BAD! Edward help me! Please!

Then, Edward's arms were around me, picking me up from where I lay.

"Bella, I know you can hear me. The pain will get much worse before it subsides. Alice and Jasper are taking you to Alaska. Edward has done well and you will be with us very soon." Carlisle's voice calmed me, but only a little. "Edward, talk to her, sing to her, keep her close in your arms."

"Go now. We'll join you as soon as we can." Esme's voice was close to my face and then her lips pressed a kiss on my cheek.

"Carlisle, I couldn't…." the sound of Edward's voice was so heart wrenching. Even through the thick haze of pain, it sounded as if he were sobbing.

Shaking uncontrollably in his embrace, I felt Edward's body quaking from his own sobs. I kept trying to send him a thought in between the constant flames that threatened to burn me up from the inside out,

Don't worry! I'm okay, I can handle this!

The last thing I wanted was for him to worry about me.

"Edward, Bella will be fine. She is much stronger than any of us ever dreamed. Take her and do not leave her side for a second." There was an edge to Carlisle's voice that I couldn't place, especially since I was in so much agony.

"Charlie saw me, he saw me in the sun. Bella told him I'm an angel." The sound of Edward's voice helped so much with the pain. If he would just keep talking, I knew I could get through this. Could he still hear me? I wondered.

Edward, please! Just keep talking to me!

He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. "Yes Bella, I know." Another sob rolled through him.

He was running again. I could hear the soft purr of a car engine, doors open then shut. Even though my whole body was shaking violently, I could sense the movement of the car. Edward held me close and whenever he wasn't kissing some part of me, he kept his face pressed to mine. Somehow, I endured the pain in silence and when he began to sing the pain was much more bearable.

He repeated the verses over and over and as long as he sang, the pain was just a bad memory buried deep within me. When Edward wasn't singing, he was talking non-stop. Even through the pain, I was amazed because that was something he had never done before.

He told me his life's story and all the places he had been and things he had done. Places he would take me and all the things we would share together. He told me of all the wondrous changes he had seen in his life. Places we could live for years and never see another person. I could hear Alice's sweet laughter and comments of how she could never live anywhere long without a mall or at the very least, a really big computer store to keep her supplied with all the latest technology. Jasper's voice was low and calming as he told stories of things they had experienced together.

"It's beginning." Edward whispered and I had the distinct feeling he wasn't talking to me. Just when I was beginning to think the agonizing pain couldn't get much worse, random places in my body began to burn intensely and the burning moved so slowly I swore my flesh was falling off. Opening my mouth in the hope that I could release a small amount of the pain that wracked my body, the most horrific scream came from within me, as though my soul was crying out to be released.

Reaching out, I tore at anything and everything I could get my hands on. The need to rip at my own burning flesh and tear out the river of flame that flowed inside of my veins was overwhelming. My fingers shredded fabric as if it were tissue paper before Edward was able to catch my wrists in his hands and encased them inside his loving arms.

I'll never live through this, I'll never make it through the change. I'll die before it's complete and all of Edward's suffering will be for nothing. I can't let this be his last memory of me, not like this!

Through my unending shrieks, I could hear Jasper's usually calm voice yelling to Edward.

"Edward, listen to me, Carlisle said this would happen! You have to calm yourself so you can help her. You have to keep talking to her! It does help her, I can feel it!"

Although I was writhing and twisting violently in his arms, I was not the only one shaking, Edward's body was trembling also, sobbing as if he could actually feel my pain.

I have to stop screaming! Oh God please! It's tearing him apart!

Closing my mouth, I swallowed the pain, refusing to allow a sound escape my lips.

Please Edward, I can bare it. Please don't… just talk… sing… anything! I thought frantically to him.

Pressing my head into his chest, he held me there. His sobbing subsided, replaced with a sweet melodic humming. The vibrations of his song flowed through me, through my very muscle and bone, calming me, soothing the pain to a degree that was bearable. With his sweet melody pacifying me, I was able to hold my screams inside though a flood of tears leaked from my eyes uncontrollably for what seemed like hours.

Soon, the pain had subsided to a point where I was able to even hold back my tears and my body had stopped shaking as violently. I opened my eyes to see a new day had come outside the car window. The trees were flying past at a blinding speed though, I was able to see them clearly.

But… I was cold. I was so cold.

I'm so cold. I thought. Edward's beautiful dark burgundy eyes were looking nowhere but at my face, nevertheless, I could see no response to my thought.

"I'm so cold." The voice that floated into the close quarters of the car was clear and melodic and all mine.

"Don't worry, my love, it will pass." Smiling, he held me tighter, pulling me up to his face and as his mouth touched mine, his skin felt colder than it had ever felt before, as if I were suffering from a very high fever. Kissing my lips so tenderly, he spread them gently with his icy tongue. Eagerly, I opened my mouth and reveled in the ecstasy of our first real kiss. The cold electric vibration of his energy flowed through my body and I felt the familiar tingle in my muscles. I tried to lift my arm to touch his face, but I found I only had enough strength just to kiss him. I had never felt so weak in my life.

"We are halfway there. Halfway to your new home and your new life." He kissed me once again. "You still have a ways to go before the change is complete." His fingers gently traced the outline of my face. "My dear sweet Bella, as long as I exist, I will never leave your side."

As long as Edward was with me, I could be halfway to anywhere and it wouldn't matter. Closing my eyes, I focused all that I had, pushing the last of the pain down deep within me. So many of my human memories passed through my mind and once I saw them, they seemed to slide out of my grasp. I realized my entire human life would become only a pale cloudy memory. Eventually, darkness folded around me and gratefully, I drifted away.