XII: In Which There Is A Drastic Turn!
A/N: It's been a while since I've updated. I guess I just hit a wall with the story, but a few days ago, I got a terrific idea, and so, it took me some time to plot it all out, and now, things will begin to unravel! And without further ado, here is the first chapter of the new 'season' of sorts.
As the icy water reached me at a chest level, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My usual doe brown eyes had turned lust less and my pink lips had turned a bluish hue. I uttered a weak laugh, barely inaudible over the sound of rushing water. I still had the razor in my hand, and now, the water was past my chest height, spilling over the edge of the tub...
My hand trembled with small spasms as I struggled to bring the razor up towards my wrist. It had suddenly turned extremely frigid in the tiny bathroom; making my muscles strain to simply move around. I poised the razor as best as I could, trying not to shake in the process. My arm swooped down to cause the razor to bite into my ashen arm, and suddenly, there was a brilliant burst of color as my blood spilled from the wound. I gasped, shocked that there was hardly any pain.
Perhaps it was because my entire body was drenched in freezing cold water and numbed me. There seemed to be no way possible that my blood was even flowing under my skin moments before, but the razor proved otherwise. I dragged the razor further down the length of my arm, following the main predominant blue vein that always was evident.
My new wound emitted the ruby red liquid that mixed and mingled with the water, eventually causing both to fall over the side of the tub together.
But the blood.
Oh, there was just so much blood.
For a startled second, I feared that it would never stop; but then realized that this is what I had wanted all along. To rid my pitiful, bloated shell of a body from this hateful, spite-filled world. Well, it would soon come true, and I allowed myself to lean back against the walls of the tub and drawl out a sigh from my tight, dry throat, along with a mangled smile.
How good it felt to give up.
This was a weak move; to give in. And I even found that a tear sprung to my eyes; even more signs of weakness. The salty tear traced a thin line down my plump cheek as it touched the corner of my mouth, and then darted downwards. What would the people at the school say about this? I presumed that I would be the centre of gossip for some time. I could just imagine it all; playing out in my head.
The students would speak to each other in hushed, conspiratorial whispers as they tried to relay the information about Yelin; the Transfer Student and her mysterious death. Or rather, would they simply say that the "Fat Girl from Class 2-B killed herself"? It was simply a matter of time before they turned to cruel, heartless words. That's how it always worked out anyways. Of course, the teachers who heard snippets of these spreading rumors would quickly quiet them, telling the prying students to mind their own business. And that what had happened to me was a tragedy, and should not be spoken of in such light terms.
After a while of thinking of school, I realized that I felt lightheaded and somewhat dizzy. The loss of blood was the cause. And, it began to grow difficult to form more coherent thoughts together, but I tried to not think about the frighteningly-red tub that was in front of me. I pushed reality away and continued to drown myself in thoughts. No matter which came to me in which order; and not really caring anymore whether they made sense.
However, I did not realize that such severe blood loss could lead to unconsciousness.
Perhaps it was just my dignity; trying to say to myself; to reassure myself that this was not a cry for attention. It was a cry for justice; and for all of the other overweight girls that are bullied and tormented; and in my case, mentally worn down and manipulated. Maybe my story would reach world news, and the ninjas on missions would speak of the overweight girl who'd committed suicide.
As I felt my body slide downwards, my nose inching closer to the water by the seconds that passed, I felt my soul give up; and for the first time that I remember; I had the strangest sensation that I was floating. Free falling. These sensations were momentarily paused when a burst of the door revealed Kakashi and Queen, both looking much more frazzled than they should have. Queen looked away in what seemed to me, between my heavy-lidded eyes, to be a strong mixture of shock and distaste. Then, everything turned black as I slipped all the way into the tub and felt my head submerge.
