Bartleby Gumball, Prince of the Candy Kingdom and dessert extraordinaire, is a man of science.

He is a man of science and logic and rationality, and he's never really been able to handle the fickle moods of women very well so most of the time he doesn't even try. Gumball would much rather be tinkering with his machines and experimenting with his chemicals than courting females, much to the disdain of his advisors and disappointment of eligible bachelorettes.

Even Fionna, for all her maturity and intelligence, can be a very illogical person, simply because she is a girl and girls are ruled largely by their emotions. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's more that Gumball doesn't really know how to react when he's thrown into a situation with an emotional woman. He is a scientist, sir, and feelings of any real caliber tend to freak him out because emotions are not logical even though they're really just chemicals in the brain and they should be easily separated and categorized like every other chemical.

For instance, there is nothing very logical in the way Fionna wakes him up at two in the morning by climbing into his bed.

"Wha—" he grunts, twisting as something heavy sits itself on his chest. "Wha… huh?" Light from the moon shines through the window, muted through the light curtains, but he can still see the fuzzy head of blonde burrowed into his sheets.

"Fionna?" he mumbles in sleepy surprise, his thought process slowed considerably and his eyes just barely open. He lifts a hand and shoves her shoulder lightly as if to determine that she's actually here and he's not just having a really bizarre dream.

Gumball pulls himself up into a sitting position, minute twitches of irritation crawling into his slowly-waking mind. He doesn't mind Fionna, he really doesn't. She is a sweet girl and he cares a great deal for her even if she might be a bit impetuous and silly at times. "Fionna," he says, his voice raspy and thick with sleep as he runs one hand through his hair. He's thankful that he wears pajamas to bed. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she says into his shirt, clinging to him like a barnacle even when he gently tries to push her off. Her voice is small and vulnerable, but right now Gumball is tired and it should not be possible for anyone to have incredibly serious problems this early in the morning.

Gumball sighs and rubs at his itching, angry eyes, swallowing to wet his dry throat (sometimes he snores, okay? He can't help it so shut up and stop laughing.) before saying, "It would be a very bad image indeed for you to be caught in my bed." She shakes her head and huddles up closer, and he shakes away some of his irritation as he actually takes stock of the situation. Fionna hasn't ever done this before, not even when she still had that majorly huge crush on him.

(the poor dear thought she was subtle, but he just didn't have the heart to shoot her down.)

A thought comes him and he continues with his voice raised slightly, like he's asking a question. "Especially since I am a prince and you are in a relationship."

Fionna clutches to him tighter and begins to shake, and he sighs and runs a hand across his face as he feels his shirt begin to get damp as she starts crying. His aggravation hasn't disappeared, but now it's not aimed at her. Oh, Marshall Lee… what have you done…

"Come on, Fionna," Gumball says gently, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and pulling them both up into a sitting position, though the angle really just drags her into his lap. She trembles violently, unable to contain herself now that the first tears have begun to fall, and her breath hitches and hiccups as he runs a hand through her hair soothingly.

He knows that right now she wants nothing more than to just cry, but Gumball is a logical man and he needs to get all of the facts before she dissolves him with her tears. (he's made out of sugar, what do you people want from him.)

"Alright, Liebe, can you tell me what happened?" he asks, giving in and accepting that she's not going to let him go. Right now he doesn't really blame her, just pushes her back enough that he can see her red, splotchy face. She ducks away from him with a sniffle, embarrassed, but he just shushes her sound of protest.

Fionna take a deep, rattling breath, then forces out, "W-w-we, um... we broke up."

I gathered that, yes, Gumball thinks, but doesn't say anything. This is definitely not the time for sarcasm. He just watches her, trying his best to look concerned and curious to hide his anger. He didn't encourage Marshall Lee into a relationship with Fionna just so that he could turn around a couple months later and break it off.

"He, uh." She swallows and sniffles but soldiers on despite the fact that she can't get in enough breath to really speak. "He said that it w-w-wouldn't…" Sniffle. "…work because he was a vampire. And that he was trying-" Her voice cracks and gets higher as she starts to cry again, but she continues bravely despite the fact that she's speeding up and becoming incomprehensible. "—he was trying to m-makemehappyandIdon-n'tknowwhatamIs-s-supposedtodonow—"

Fionna wails in misery and pushes her face back into his chest, loud heart-wrenching sobs racking her frame as he tries his best to console her. Gumball doesn't have much experience with hysterical women, but he can tell that this is all he is going to get out of her right now, and even if it were possible he would never make her continue.

He just holds her, tightly, for as long as she needs it, as she lets out all of her pain. That's all that he really can do.


After a good hour of crying Fionna regresses to that stage where there's no noise, just agonized rasping, and a few dozen minutes after that she finds her voice again and screams herself into a nosebleed and passes out, twitching and shaking against him.

Gumball glances at the clock to see that it's now almost four in the morning. He sighs and accepts that today will just be a stressful day. After assuring himself that she's not going to wake up, he very carefully removes her from his chest and settles her more firmly in the bed. He pulls up the sheets and tucks them around her and stands back to stare at the way her long, blonde hair fans out across his pillow and the rise and fall of her chest as her hands grip and loosen unconsciously.

He would be lying if he said that he'd never thought about this. About her here, like this.

He observes her for a long, long moment, something tightening and hurting in his chest, but turns away when she sniffles in her sleep and her face screws up, like she's plagued by her sadness even in her dreams. Gumball clenches his fists, but then takes a deep breath. He releases it slowly, calmly, and his muscles relax as he leaves his bedroom.

His first objective is to call Cake and inform her of the situation, or ask if anything might have provoked this. Marshall Lee thinks in mysterious, convoluted ways and Gumball wouldn't be surprised if he's just been bottling everything up inside. He tries to remember that Marshall Lee is his friend, too, and that the vampire normally isn't so rash with the emotions of anyone. Or rather, with the emotions of Fionna.

After that, he needs to change out of his pajama shirt, because this one has tears and blood all over it.

And once that's taken care of he'll probably go find some guards because something is obviously wrong if a distraught girl can make it to his bedroom without any opposition. No wonder it's so easy for the Ice Queen to get ahold of him. His security kind of sucks.

Gumball unearths his phone from where it's buried beneath various scientific knickknacks and assorted junk and dials the familiar number to reach Fionna and Cake's tree house. It rings for a long time before the other line picks up, and the scratchy half-asleep voice of Cake sounds tinny in his ear.

"Nnngllo?" the cat grunts, like she's holding the phone upside down, and she might be because Cake is really hard to wake up when she's had a full-night's sleep, much less when she's roused this early in the morning.

"Good morning, Cake," he says on instinct, a lifetime of politeness and gentry beaten into him by his tutors. (Bartleby Gumball was a bit of a wild child after the death of his parents, and it had taken many long awkward dinners and many, many smacks on the wrist for him to relearn to say please and thank you.)

There is a hissing sound on the other end and Gumball can't tell if it's the phone messing up or Cake actually hissing at him. "This'd better be important," she growls tiredly, slurring her words like she's going to fall back asleep at any moment.

Gumball rolls his eyes and says matter-of-factly, "Marshall Lee broke up with Fionna and she bled all over my shirt."

There is a long moment of silence, but then abruptly there is a yowl that makes him jerk away from the phone and cover his ears. Even holding the device at arms-length he can hear Cake screech, "WHAT?"

He very cautiously returns the phone to his ear and listens as she rages in the background, apparently having dropped the phone in her fury. "Cake—" he tries, speaking loudly to get her attention. All he can hear is the rattle of metal on the other end. "Cake, let go of the sword. Cake!" She can't hear him so he speaks louder, almost yelling into the phone. "Cake! Calm down! Oh, for the love of… Cake!"

Gumball twists to look over his shoulder when he hears someone clear their throat, and blinks at Peppermint Maid as she watches him with an astonished look on her round, sugary face. The two stare at each other for a long moment before the maid sidesteps away, like he's going to spring at her if she makes any sudden movements. Gumball nearly jumps when Cake's voice sounds back in his ear, much closer than before. Obviously she's picked up the phone again.

"I'MMA KILL HIM," she yowls furiously, and Gumball winces as his ears are assaulted again.

"Cake, calm down. Fionna's fine, I was exaggerating. Let me figure out what exactly happened and then we can decide what to do." He keeps his voice calm and firm, speaking in a way that he knows commands attention. As friendly as they may be to each other, both Fionna and Cake know not to cross him when he slips into the leadership role.

Despite this, the cat still grumbles and hisses into the phone as he explains what he knows. Finally, Gumball ends with, "I know that you're angry and worried, because I am too. But let me talk to her and find out the full story before we decide to cast judgment on anyone."

The other line is quiet before Cake finally says, "And you'll call me once she talks." It's not a question, but Gumball gives an affirmative answer anyway. She hums thoughtfully, then says dangerously, "When I get my paws on that boy, Gumball, I will rip him to shreds."

"We need to make sure that he deserves it first," the prince says, his voice neutral. Though to be honest, he's leaning more towards Cake's way of thinking right now.

Gumball cares for Fionna. He cares for Fionna a great deal.

They exchange short, curt goodbyes (will, Gumball does, Cake just growls and hangs up) and the prince sighs and rubs his eyes with his hand for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts and put them into an orderly fashion.

After a minute or so of this, he decides that Fionna will probably be hungry when she wakes up, and so sets off to find someone who can make a tea party happen for him right now.


Gumball is stirring his tea thoughtfully when Fionna finally trudges out of his bedroom and into the small sitting room connected to it. He pauses to observe her subtly; her hair is mussed and her cloths are wrinkled and her ears are red, but not really sleepy, so she's probably been awake for a while now crying.

"Guten Morgen," he says, like nothing is wrong. With women he never knows if he should be pretending that everything is normal or not. She meets his eyes briefly before sitting down in the chair facing him. She looks blankly at the assorted foodstuffs that covers the little breakfast table. Normally Fionna would go straight for the pancakes, but her eyes widen when she sees them and her hesitates before shoveling a big helping of eggs onto her plate.

She doesn't eat, just picks at her food with her fork, her eyes tired and listless. Gumball sighs and puts down his cup of tea.

"I know that right now you're in pain," he tells her softly. "But I need to know what happened."

She back up at him slowly before shrugging, and he's thankful that she's not crying anymore.

"That's the thing," she says, her voice thick and a bit raspy. "I don't even know." She stares down at her plate for a long moment before continuing quietly, "I mean… it was just out of nowhere. He'd never really mentioned feeling bad about it before. I kind of just thought… I don't know." She puts an elbow on the table and rests her chin in her palm, her face sad and tired. Gumball struggles not to cringe at the lack of table manners. (She is nothing compared to Marshall Lee though, because he will put his feet on the furniture just because he knows that it's a pet peeve of Gumball's.) "That we'd just kind of… ignore it."

Gumball thinks hard for a moment, opening his mouth and then closing it before picking his words carefully. "While I don't agree with his delivery or the way he handled it… I can understand where he's coming from."

Fionna tenses and draws into herself, her eyes narrowing to glare at the table, and Gumball hurries to continue before she closes up completely. "This is a problem, Fionna, one that you can't just ignore and hope that it'll go away, because it won't." She swallows and looks like she's about to cry again, so he lowers his voice and says gently, "But I think that you can work through it. And I also think that he is an idiot to give up so easily."

Her eyes lift up to his and he smiles, soft and friendly, and reaches out to place his hand on top of hers and squeeze. After a few seconds a hesitant answering smile twitches her face upwards and her hand turns to hold his. He holds her gaze for a minute before turning back to his food, and she's still for a few seconds before taking a bite of hers.

They eat in relative silence, and once she's done Fionna crosses her arms defensively and stares at her lap, looking like a lost puppy. Gumball shakes his head and sighs, then gets up to wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her along beside him. The early morning sun shines through the windows that line the hallway as his strolls her away from his personal quarters.

"Now what do I do?" she asks glumly, and it's not so much that she wants to know what to do today so much as she doesn't know what to do now that everything is turned upside down.

Gumball thinks about it for a moment, and then says, "Well, let's see. We can take a walk through the gardens, or we could do an experiment, or we could watch movies all day and gorge ourselves on ice cream." He can't contain a smile at Fionna's laughter, or her surprised expression immediately afterwards, like she just realized that she still has the ability to laugh at all.

"Maybe… like, a mixture of number one and number three," she says with a hesitant grin. And if there's still pain behind her eyes, that's okay. It's to be expected, but she's trying, and that's good enough for Gumball.

He lets out a chuckle at her answer and gives a half-bow to her. "As you wish, mein Fräulein," he says jovially, taking her arm in his like a gentleman should when walking with a girl. Her response is laugh that's a bit stronger and louder than before, and some birds perched on the large open door take flight as the two of them step into the gardens, their wings flapping quietly as they break through the air.


They spend the day together as friends in a way they haven't been able to in a while, and Gumball is glad that he can make her smile and laugh despite the dark feelings that seem to surround her like a cloud. It wasn't a cure (nothing can ever be so easy, not with Fionna, but he supposes that that's part of her charm), but perhaps it was medicine to help dull the pain.

True to her word, they end up watching movies on a big projector that Gumball fishes out of his junk room; romantic comedies that leave her giggling, animated movies that he's embarrassed to still own, even a horrifically terrible western where the blood is orange and the screams all sound alike and the lead actor can't make the correct facial expressions. (they watch this last one with a look of confused awe and furrowed eyebrows for the entirety of the movie, and once it's over they look at each other and make a silent vow to never speak of it again)

They also eat a lot of ice cream, which is okay because Gumball is the ruler of the Candy Kingdom and ice cream is just another one of those delicious sugary things that he's stockpiled crazy amounts of in the basement freezer.

Finally Fionna crashes at about nine that evening, and Gumball throws a hand over his eyes because he's incredibly tired but his work still isn't done yet. With a sigh, he makes his way back to the phone in the sitting room and dials a familiar number. It only rings once before Cake picks up with a hiss, and he wonders if she's just been sitting by the phone all day waiting for him to call so she can unleash her fury.

"Gumball?" she questions.

"Jawohl. Can you meet me over here? I need a ride."

There a moment of silence before Cake growls out, "A ride to where?"

Gumball just laughs and says, "You know exactly where we're going."

"Finally," the cat hisses, and hangs up.

He sighs again (god, he's sighing so much lately. He's getting too old for this.) and goes to sit down at his table and wait for Cake to get here, idly pouring some more tea into his cup and drinking it. Tea, especially very sweet tea, is incredibly calming to him. And god knows that he needs something to calm his nerves.

He actually goes through three more cups before Cake climbs through his open window, her soft white fur puffy in agitation. Her whiskers stick straight out and her ears are pinned against her head as she hisses, "When are we leaving? I'mma wreck him. I'mma bite his face off and then play jump rope with his spine." After noting that her claws are extended Gumball approaches her carefully.

"We're just going to talk," he informs her firmly, his arms crossed. She spits in anger but doesn't argue, though he has no doubts that she has her own plans for Marshall Lee once they arrive at his house.

She climbs back out through the window and disappears for a moment before suddenly the view is taken over by a long expanse of furry back. Gumball grips the windowsill before carefully maneuvering himself up her body to sit between her massive shoulder blades. Part of him will never really get used to seeing a cat the size of a castle, but then again he usually rides on the back of a stretchy black horse-something, so he really can't judge too harshly.

Cake crouches, her long legs bending beneath her, before springing, aiming her jumps in a way that lets her clear the expanse of the city in only three leaps. Once they don't have to worry about stepping on any houses, the trip to Marshall Lee's cave is relatively short and uninteresting as Gumball goes through a script in his mind of what all he can say and Cake gets herself more and more worked up, her hair puffing out to make her look twice her size.

When they finally reach the cave, Gumball has to fix his hair and clothes because of how fast Cake had started running, and he yelps as she suddenly and rapidly shrinks in size so that his feet just barely brush the ground. The abrupt drop gives him a crazy sense of vertigo and his stomach feels like it's up in his throat. The cat is eager to go rip Marshall Lee a new one, but Gumball has to stop and try to control his gag reflex, bending over so that he can breathe.

"Don't go that again," he gasps, but Cake just rolls her eyes and huffs. The house still looks the same, with its fake grass and little picket fence and basketball hoop. He'd added a plastic flamingo to his lawn since the last time Gumball had been there. It was a nice touch.

Cake is nearly foaming at the mouth as they head around back to the door on the dock, which is the only door that anyone actually uses in Marshall Lee's house. Gumball follows her quickly and grabs onto the scruff at the back of her neck when she goes to throw the door open. "We're just talking," he emphasizes, meeting her glare with one of his own. "Like civilized people."

She scoffs at him, but doesn't try for the door again, and Gumball stares her down as he lifts a hand up and knocks lightly on the wood. He then puts his hands behind his back and rocks on the balls of his feet, staring up at the ceiling and waiting patiently. Cake taps her foot behind him, her arms crossed and teeth bared in a snarl.

A minute passes. Gumball coughs awkwardly and suggests, "Perhaps he's in the bathroom or something."

He knocks on the door again, a bit harder this time. Another minute goes by with no reply and Gumball is started to feel irritated again despite his best efforts to remain calm. He begins to think that Marshall Lee might be hiding from them, and that thought just fuels his anger. What is he planning to do, just leave Fionna and ignore the result?

He bangs on the door, loud, six times and then steps back. After a few moments of silence he feels his fists begin to clench. Did he think he'd just get away with breaking her heart and not having to face the consequences of it? Did he think that he was above that, that she didn't matter?

Gumball beats on the door with the side of his fist, feeling the wood vibrate beneath the hits. He doesn't let up this time, even when two minutes pass and his whole arm starts to go numb. He can feel Cake getting more and more angry with each pound of his fist, and he realizes that he himself is pretty angry, too.

He's angry and he's tired and he's hurt because he trusted Marshall Lee to take care of Fionna, and it's like all that trust that Marshall Lee had in the both of them was just thrown out the window and now he doesn't want to deal with them. And why should he? They're just mortals, and he's a king. Gumball feels his blood begin to boil, feels a dormant fury stir inside his gut, egged on by the way Cake is now growling and hissing.

He's just so tired.

And then he snaps.

"Ach, scheiß drauf!"

Gumball puts all his weight onto one foot, lifts the other, and then lashes out and kicks the door in.

There's a crunch as the lock is ripped from the wood, taking a chunk of the doorframe with it, and it slams inwards to hit the wall on the other side. Gumball doesn't really register this, because he's too busy being angry and all he can see is Marshall Lee standing three feet away with a dumb look on his face.

Gumball lowers his foot (holy fucking fuck, he does not have the muscle to kick down doors, it feels like his entire leg is on fire shitshitshit I think I broke something) and steps forwards, his face twisted into a scowl. Marshall Lee steps a step back, his red eyes wide with surprise. Good. He'd better be afraid.

The script of things to say is thrown out of his mind as he begins to think that this vampire who he'd called friend just broke the heart of the one person in the world that he really cared about. His breath comes in unsteady pants, partially because of adrenaline and partially because of anger. He feels the light weight of Cake stepping around him but it doesn't really register because all he can think is that he was betrayed.

"Hello!" Cake says dangerously, her tail lashing from side to side. Gumball doesn't really pay attention. "I'm going to do horrible, unspeakable things to you!"

Marshall Lee swallows and blinks, and then runs away.

Or at least, he tries to. With an enraged shout, Gumball leaps at him, tackling him to the ground. The two men wrestle violently, with Marshall Lee trying to claw his way free and Gumball doing his best to keep a firm grip and not let the vampire wiggle away. There is an inhuman screech as Cake joins the fray, adding fangs and vicious swipes into the mix.

The ordeal can't have lasted but a minute, but while in the middle of it it feels like it lasts a lifetime. A foot connects with his gut and he lands a punch on someone's back, and it's a terrible bloody brawl that doesn't end until he manages to grab ahold of Marshall Lee's hair, lift up his head, and then slam it into the floor.

The vampire lets out a shout of surprise before falling still, and Gumball throws himself to the side, panting and gasping in exertion. He's made of candy, for god's sake. He never wrestles. Cake is still attached to Marshall Lee's back, her claws stuck into his clothes and probably down into his skin, but Gumball peels her off of him with little protest. (she's probably dazed, Gumball thinks he might have accidentally crushed her at some point)

He bends his knees and leans back on his hands, breath coming in short puffs, and there's an angry pain in his chest every time he inhales. He glances over at the other man.

Marshall Lee very carefully lifts himself up, his hair falling into his pale face. Once he straightens, Gumball's eyes widen; there is an ugly bruise already forming across the bridge of Marshall Lee's nose, and, he notices with a slightly hysterical giggle, one of the twin fangs jutting from his mouth is missing. Marshall Lee lifts a hand to poke at his nose gingerly and winces as he assesses the damage.

"I thinb you brobe my nobe, dube," the vampire whines nasally, pushing into the skin with another wince. His face changes when he talks, and he sits with a confused expression on his face before sticking out his tongue and poking the space where his fang used to be. A look of horror passes over him and he stares at Gumball in incomprehension.

"You knobbeb oub my toof!" He lifts a finger and pokes it into the little hole that the thin tooth used to be. He twists around to grope on the floor and pulls out a small object from the carpet. He lifts it against the light and his wine-red eyes widen when it's the wicked, perfect curve of a fang. "Dube! You knobbed oub my toof!"

"Hold on," Gumball pants, "let me look." He leans forwards and carefully takes Marshall Lee's jaw in his hand, twisting it so that he can get a closer look at his nose. "Ahh, yes… I think that it is broken. I need to set it before it starts swelling, otherwise it'll hurt even worse."

Cake pulls herself from her daze and hefts herself up, turning to stare at them in surprise. "Wait. That's it? You beat each other up and then you're friends again?"

Gumball and Marshall Lee share a look, and then Gumball shrugs and hums in agreement as Marshall Lee says, "Yeah, dab's aboud righb."

"We're men, my dear," Gumball explains matter-of-factly as he scootches closer to Marshall Lee and turns his face this way and that, trying to determine how best to fix the damage. "It's just how we get our feelings out." He pulls back to look Marshall Lee in the eyes coolly and continues, "But don't think that this is going to save you from a stern talking-to, sir."

Marshall Lee won't meet his eyes, but from what little he can see of the vampire's face (the part that isn't covered in bruises and blood that has to be Gumball's own (in fact, now that he thinks about it, he can feel a pretty nasty cut leaking onto his forehead)) it is sufficiently depressed. Gumball still isn't at all pleased with him, but he tries to remember that this must be hurting Marshall Lee as well as Fionna.

"Alright, I think I can fix it," Gumball says, pushing Marshall Lee down into a kneeling position and moving to stand behind him. He presses his fingers to either side of Marshall Lee's nose and says, "Now don't jerk back, okay?" The vampire snorts in reply, but the sound is weird, like air being blown through a bent pipe. "I'm going to go on three. One… two…" Before he can get to three, Gumball pushes inwards with his fingers, and he can feel the cartilage shift against the force. There is a horrific crunching sound that makes even Cake wince, and Marshall Lee hisses in pained surprise.

Gumball steps back in front of Marshall Lee and bats the vampire's hand away as it tries to come up and poke at the wound. "Alright," the prince says thoughtfully, turning his head around once more. "One more time and it should be good."

"I habe you," Marshall Lee says sullenly, but he doesn't sound as nasally this time. He reaches one hand to touch the empty socket in his gums where his fang used to be. "I habe you so muchb."

The crunch isn't as bad this time, and when Gumball inspects his handiwork he's pleased. "It'll swell a bit, but it should heal straight. Now then. Do you have any Band-Aids? I think that Cake got me pretty good in the forehead."

Marshall Lee points vaguely in the direction of the bathroom, but doesn't say anything other than, "I can't beliebe you knocked outb my fangb."

Gumball pushes himself up and stumbles out of the living room and down a hall to the bathroom, which he's only ever been in once or twice. He doesn't even know if vampires need bathrooms. (this is a horrible train of thought, and he will not follow it, no sir he will not crap he just thought of Marshall Lee taking a piss goddammit.) There's only one cabinet in the room, and it's mostly bare, with only a few towels and washcloths folded neatly in one corner. On one of the shelves there is a small box, which Gumball opens to find multicolored band-aides.

He grabs a pink one that will closest match his skin tone, wets one of the washcloths in the sink, and uses the mirror to carefully wipe the blood off of his brow. It's not very deep, but head wounds always bleed like crazy, so he carefully applies the band-aide and double-checks his handiwork before returning to the room with Marshall Lee and Cake. There's a terrible pain when he puts weight on his left leg, the one he'd kicked the door with, and he realizes that maybe his panicked thoughts of breaking something weren't too far off.

That whole scuffle on the floor probably didn't help matters either, actually.

He limps over to the couch and sits on it, yelps, and then immediately slides to the floor. Normally Bartleby Gumball wouldn't be caught dead slumped on the worn pink carpet when there's perfectly good furniture to sit on, but that couch is satan in fabric form and he would not sit on it if you paid him.

He turns to look at Marshall Lee and sees that the Vampire King has a very sad look on his face, and Cake has a very serious look on hers, and he wonders what conversation they'd had while he was patching himself up. The cat seems satisfied with whatever tongue-lashing she'd given him, and she sets herself to grooming down her fur, wincing when she tries to bend too far down. (Gumball has a vague recollection of elbowing something soft and squishy during the fight and shuffles guiltily.)

Marshall Lee's eyes slowly lift to meet his, and it feels like this should be a serious moment but Gumball can't help but think that the vampire's face looks so lopsided with his bruised, swollen, slightly crooked at the end nose and the missing tooth.

"I messed up, didn't I?" Marshall Lee asks quietly, most of the thick nasal sound gone. Vampires must heal pretty fast. It's kind of funny, though, that without the familiar weight of his right fang he seems to talk with a bit of a lisp.

"Yes. Yes you did," Gumball says at the same time that Cake snaps, "Damn straight."

Marshall Lee looks back down at his hands, which are balled up in his lap. "What do I do? I mean… it was a valid reason."

Gumball pauses and then says, "I think…" He hesitates, then continues thoughtfully. "I think that you were right to worry. But… I also think that you were a fool to give up. You care for her, right?"

"Of course," Marshall Lee replies, his voice thick. Gumball really, really hopes that he isn't going to start crying. If there's one thing he hates more than emotional women, it's emotional men. "But just because I love her doesn't change the fact that this is going to end horribly."

Gumball smiles at him and puts his chin in his hands. "Think about what you just said, and then tell me that you wouldn't be able to work it out anyway."

The vampire glares and opens his mouth, but falls silent, his eyes widening in surprise. He turns back to stare at his hands with a look of confusion. "I…"

"Love her. And that's why, no matter what happens, no matter how it ends, it will be worth it." Gumball can't help it when his smile grows a bit bigger at the lost expression on Marshall Lee's face. He shares a look with Cake, who can't seem to decide if she's still angry or pleased.

"Now then," Gumball says, hefting himself back up onto his feet. "If you have some milk, we might be able to save that tooth of yours."

Marshall Lee sends him a deadpan stare and Gumball mumbles, "Oh, right. Vampire. No milk. Any ice, then?"

The older boy waves him towards the kitchen, a troubled look on his face. Gumball fetches some ice and pours it into a cup, then limps back over to Marshall Lee and takes the fang from his outstretched hand.

"We should hurry back to the Kingdom," he says, nodding at Cake, who rolls her eyes and walks out the door. He limps after the cat towards the exit, and looks over his shoulder to call to Marshall Lee, "Come along, mein Freund."

"You have a limp," Marshall Lee tells him, one eyebrow raised like it's a question.

"Yes, how astute of you. Let's go, I think I might have broken something."

The two walk to the entrance of the cave, where the moon is still high in the sky and Cake is waiting for them.

"…is Fionna in the Candy Kingdom?" Marshall Lee asks, his voice quiet.

Gumball glances over to him, and a sudden realization hits him. For all that Marshall Lee is immortal and all-powerful, he has absolutely no idea what to do right now. He's looking to Gumball for guidance. When did the roles reverse; when did the King rely on the Prince? When did the old seek knowledge from the young?

"Yes," Gumball says gently. "She is. And she's quite distraught."

Marshall Lee lifts off into the air to float alongside them as Gumball climbs up onto Cake's back and she grows larger.

"Do you think she'll forgive me?" the vampire asks, and if Gumball didn't know him any better he would say that his friend sounded vulnerable.

Gumball opens his mouth to reply, but both of them are surprised when it's Cake who says dryly, "Boy, that girl would learn to walk on her hands for you if you asked her to."

Marshall Lee grows quiet, and Gumball sends him a hesitant smile.

"I think," he tells the vampire, "that she just needs to realize this herself."

The rest of the trip is silent as the moon lights their path back home, and the Candy Prince muses at the roles that they all have played. Gumball was judge, Cake was jury, and Fionna… well, all that's left now is executioner.

(have been informed that gumball's official name is bubba. there are absolutely no words for how happy this makes me. me gusta, me gusta forever.

also, the german translations are from my excellent beta reader, who puts up with my bitching and whining and laziness and general lameosity. she's pretty bombtastic. but since she's not a native speaker, she wanted me to ask that if there are any mistakes, would you be so inclined as to point them out so she can learn more.

(also also, if i actually named chapters after songs that i listened to while writing them, this chapter would be titled "that dumb nyan cat song".))