A single pulse
AN:// Hey sorry for the wait, finals were a bitch. White Collar's new episodes come out this Tuesday! So let's see if I can finish this story before then. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter, and thank you all for the reviews and messages to keep me going! (:
A single pulse, it was all I needed from him. All I really wanted. I could hardly feel my own. Could hardly feel the blood coursing its rate in my body. Kate was a mistake from the get go. I should have known. She had conned the con man. She had stolen his heart and taken her life and maybe his as well. Neal deserved better. He didn't deserve to die.
I don't know that even if he did lived, that he could live without her. It was his life after all. She was everything to him. . . at least as far as I knew.
"CLEAR!" I watched as the emergency care triggered another shot into Neal's body. They way his body flickered in shock. I held my breath.
Please god.
I promise, I will take care of him this time. I promise I won't act on impulse anymore. Please, god just let me tell him I'm sorry.
I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, when I heard his heart beat scream onto the monitor.
Neal was alive.
I felt my eyes water. I had another chance. I could tell him I was sorry, I could tell him what he meant to me. We could get his life back on track, he could get married have kids, he could start over.
Or so I thought.
We arrived at the hospital, and before I knew it Neal had been whisked away, again. I watched them pull him behind two swinging doors.
I would have to wait.
The doctor came out and informed me that Neal was in critical condition. His left lung had been deflated, as well as losing over half of his blood, as had two shattered ribs. As if this wasn't enought to come to terms with Neal could have potential brain damage . . . that is if he ever woke up.
Neal went through surgery to have the bullet removed from his chest. After the doctor informed me that he had been stabilized I was able to see him.
When I first walked into the room, I thought I had gone into the wrong one. The young man lying in the bed resembled nothing of that from memory. Neal's face was whiter then the sheets he laid in. Tubes ran from all over his body, like a highway from one city to another. Neal's hair was limp and tossed-worn and dead would better describe it. What got to me the most was the broken smile fallen into a deep slanted line and his eyes were shut closing out all the light that flowed out f them.
Neal was gone.
I felt the bitter sick feeling in my stomach. I knew this was my fault and it burned me to believe it. If I would have done just one thing different, just one fucking thing, I would still have Neal alive. Tears cascaded from my eyelids as I scuffed my way over to him. There was already a chair next to his bed side waiting and I quickly occupied it.
I don't know if you are able to hear people when you are in a coma, but even if they can't, even if there is a small chance that he can, I'll take it.
What more do I have to lose?
"Neal?" I tried to swallow the lump squeezing against my throat. I felt my voice crack, "Neal?" I looked down at his perfectly shaped face, wondering how a man like this could have ever survived in jail. He looked nothing more the a kid, innocence if not troublesome.
"Neal, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. And. And I just, I just thought that if I kept a close eye on Kate and you . . . then you could never run off with her. I didn't know she was like this, Neal. But I should of." I took a deep breath. "I'm sure you can't hear me." My eyes watered more sprinkling off fresh tears. "I just wish you could. I don't even know if you're in there." I gritted my teeth trying to hold back my emotions. "You were turning your life around, kid." I chuckled a little at that, remembering everything the two of us had done together, all the cases we solved, all the time spent together, everything we had accomplished. "You sure as hell were a pain in my ass, but it was worth it. I wouldn't do anything over, except…" I looked back towards the empty window, displaying the grey world. "You know." I took another moment waiting for a response I would never recive. "You were like my kid Neal. Even better than that, you were my partner."
I watched desperately for something to change, for him to open his eyes and look back at me, for him to just be able to open his lips again and speak something to me, even if it was just to tell me he hated me . . . but nothing. The machine had stolen Neal's heartbeat for its own. Playing his notes.
"I couldn't ask for anything more. The worlds going to be a lot dimmer without you around."
I smiled one last time before departing from the room.
"Goodbye Neal."
