"Here we are, home sweet home!" Sam called over her shoulder at her three friends gleefully, as she pulled open the front door to her apartment.
The three had gone to Josh's house. After realizing that a very drunk Melinda was home, Josh had grabbed Sam and sprinted past her and up the stairs. He wasn't in the mood to deal with his mother.
Sam had helped Josh gather some things, and frequently she would catch him staring at her bandages, or glaring at the wall. It would take her several tries to get him out of his stupor, and every time he would smile brightly at her and move on as if it had never happened.
Now, the four were all fixing up Sam's living room so Josh would be comfortable sleeping.
Ashley was currently adjusting the couch. "Hey, Sam? Do you have any extra pillows?"
Nodding, Sam looked over her shoulder at her ginger friend. "Just take one off of my bed."
Ashley turned and skipped down the hallway, returning after a few moments with a pillow in hand.
"Hey Josh? Do you want me to unpack your bag?" Sam laughed lightly as Josh suddenly popped his head around the corner.
He shook his head, smiling at her. "Nah, it's fine. I'll get it later."
Josh disappeared back around the corner, and Sam resumed busying herself.
The truth was, Josh was struggling with his thoughts. His sweet Sammy had hurt herself, and it was eating away at him.
He shut Sam's bedroom door softly behind him, and looked around before his eyes settled on her pictures.
A framed photo of his senior prom was posed on her desk. He laughed bitterly as he remembered Hannah rushing into his room, shrieking that Sam had overhead him insisting that they were just going as friends.
That was one of the first times he thought she might feel the same way.
He glanced around the room, taking note of her jar of rose petals. He smiled, thinking of all the times he'd anonymously left roses in her locker, and it warmed his heart to realize she had kept the petals.
Tears burned in his eyes now as he recollected the bandages on her arms. He had so badly wanted to ask her why the moment she had rushed into his arms in the hospital, but it wasn't the place or time. It needed to be private.
Josh shakily walked to the window, stopping when his forehead bumped the glass. He figured the cold glass might help ground him.
He didn't know how long he stood there, staring out the glass. Josh didn't hear the door softly creak open and then shut behind him, he was too consumed with his thoughts.
"Cochise, hey. I was looking for you. Are you okay?" Chris' unusually soothing voice rattled him out of his mind, though he didn't respond.
Chris shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Josh? What's going on, buddy?"
"What's going on? Look at Sam." Josh ignored the cracking of his voice, completely unfazed as he rambled. "She got hurt, even worse is the fact that she did that shit to herself."
"I know, Josh. She's okay now though, and it's all okay." Chris' attempt at comfort burned the back of Josh's throat.
Josh didn't reply, and if anything he had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from spitting his anger at his best friend.
Chris shifted again, noticing that Josh was really struggling with Sam's breakdown.
"C'mon Josh, Sam's been looking for you too. Ash and I can get out of your hair, and you can talk to her okay?" Chris extended his arm, intending to lead Josh out of the room.
Josh glanced over his shoulder at the mention of Sam, and he allowed Chris to grab his arm.
The two friends walked silently out of the room. Josh's head was swirling with hurt and confusion, and with his thoughts of Sam. Chris wanted so badly to comfort his best friend, but knew that he didn't have the words to.
Josh smiled brightly as they turned the corner into the living room and caught sight of Sam. He didn't want her knowing he was so upset, at least not yet.
Sam turned, catching Josh's eye. "I was looking for you Josh."
"So I've been told." Josh sent her a wink, chuckling.
Chris got Ashley's attention, and glanced towards the door. Catching his hint, Ashley nodded and stepped forward.
"I hate to leave now, but Chris and I need to get going." Ashley hugged Sam goodbye, then turned to wave at Josh. "Call us if you need us."
"See you later Cochise. Be good Sam, I'll see you soon." Chris hugged them both, before the two walked out the door.
Josh trailed after the two, shutting and locking the door behind them.
Immediately he turned to Sam, tears already burning his eyes.
Sam felt her heart crack as she realized he was about to cry. "Josh?"
Josh crossed the room, almost running in his rush to get to her. "Look at your arms. My sweet girl, look what you did to yourself." To prove his point, he grasped ahold of her wrists, and gently tugged her arms up in front of her.
"Josh, look at you!" Sam twisted his arm over, until the bandage faced upwards. "You did this to yourself, on purpose, and you expected me to be okay?"
Ignoring her, Josh brought his hands up, caressing her cheeks. His tears finally spilled over as his thumbs grazed over the bandages decorating her face.
Sam held onto his wrist with one hand, her other dropping back down to her side. "Josh, I'm sorry."
Suddenly, he jolted backwards, his hands tugging and knotting in his hair. "You're sorry? You hurt yourself Sam. Do you realize that? Do you even realize how fucking important you are to me?"
Sam shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. "How do you think I felt when I heard you were in an ambulance Josh? Do you really think I would be okay if you weren't here anymore?" She reached for him, sobbing out as he pulled away from her again.
Josh's eyes widened as she cried out, and he darted forward as he extended his arms for her.
Freely sobbing, Sam allowed him to pull her into his chest as she shuddered from the force of her cries. "I'm s-sorry, Josh. Please, I'm s-so sorry."
Josh smoothed her hair, his other hand gripping onto her as if his life depended on it. "Sammy, hush. I shouldn't be getting angry with you right now. I'm the one that should be sorry."
Sam was nearly choking on her sobs now, as she thought of the sheer terror she had felt thinking that she was going to lose him.
"My beautiful little birdie. Oh, Sammy it's okay. I'm sorry I got so upset with you. Breathe, it's okay." Josh nuzzled his head into hers as he worked to calm her.
Sam's small frame shook as she gasped. "You tried to kill yourself. Why? Josh, w-why?"
Josh's hands stilled in their movements for a moment before resuming, and his breath hitched. "I failed."
"What do you mean Josh?" Sam clung to his shirt, and she angrily wiped at her cheeks.
The room was silent for a few minutes, save for Josh's strained breathing and Sam's cries. Right when Sam was considering asking again, he finally made his statement.
"I failed my sisters a year ago. I failed you, Sam. I never meant for you to get hurt this weekend. I failed, Sammy." Josh's voice cracked several times during his confession, and his arms shook as they surrounded her.
Sam shook her head, and she gripped onto him even tighter. "No Josh, you didn't fail. What happened with your sisters isn't on you."
"I was their brother Sammy, I was supposed to protect them." Josh's voice was laced with regret, and it tore at Sam's heart.
She shook her head softly. "You're still their brother Josh, it's just different now."
He laughed, but it wasn't joyful. The empty sound echoed straight to her bones, and she shivered.
"You call this different?" Josh's voice was bleak, and Sam was having a hard time picking apart his tone.
Nodding, Sam looked up until she met his eyes. "Yes, different. You still love them. You still think about them. They're still with us."
"They're not around because I was fucking wasted when they needed me." Josh tucked his head into the crook of her neck, stifling back another sob.
Sam pulled his body flush against hers, and her arms worked to soothe him. "You had no way of knowing all of that was going to happen. You and Chris were just trying to have a good time, and there's no reason to blame yourself for it."
His voice cracked every time he tried to respond, so eventually he resorted to curling himself around Sam the best he could while they were both standing, and getting all of his sobs out.
Josh held onto her as his cries rocked his shoulders, and Sam murmured gently to him until he started to calm down.
He was cherishing the moment. He had nearly died, and Sam had nearly lost herself. Josh felt so incredibly lucky to be standing here with her, that suddenly his sobs caught in his throat.
Sam continued softly rubbing her arms into his back and mumbling her love to him, until she felt him go still.
Immediately fearing the worst, Sam started to pull away from him so she could get a good look at his expression.
She was expecting to see him staring wide-eyed, looking at something somewhere off in the distance behind her.
Sam finally wiggled herself free from Josh's grip, and came face to face with a very content looking Joshua Washington.
"Josh? Are you alright?" She ran her arms up and down his back gently, bracing herself to hear more of his painful thoughts and admissions.
Surprising her, he nodded. "Sammy, I'm wonderful."
Josh brought his lips down to her forehead gently, giving her a loving kiss. "After everything that's happened, somehow I'm lucky enough to be standing here with the most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on."
Sam smiled, a small giggle escaping her lips as she curled back into his chest.
"And guess what?" Josh's voice was giddy, and Sam smiled widely as she felt his lips pepper kisses along her hairline.
"You know I'm terrible at guessing games, Josh. I'd suggest you go ahead and come out and say it." Sam laughed again, poking his sides gently.
Josh chuckled, swatting her hands away from his sides before wrapping her back up in his embrace. "She's all mine. I don't know how I got this lucky, but somehow I did."
Sam smiled brightly, her cheeks igniting as she pulled herself closer.
He held her close and hummed gently. Josh had gone through such heartbreak and unexplainable grief in a short period, and he struggled against his own mind daily. Somehow, the petite blonde in his arms was able to chase away the thoughts and fears. Sam was his saving grace, an angel that he felt he didn't deserve.
Sam nuzzled into his chest, her heart fluttering in her chest as she felt his chest vibrate gently from his humming.
Seeing Josh in such a state warmed Sam straight to her core. Ever since his sisters had disappeared, Josh had rarely shown anyone his true self. His emotions had been completely taken over by his anxieties.
Sam knew she was lucky, not many got to see this side of Josh anymore.
"Hey Josh?" Sam's voice twinkled softly, like a bell. "How about we get some sleep? It's been a long day."
Josh's humming cut off, and he chuckled. He placed one last kiss on her temple, before pulling away. "Sure thing Sam, let's get some sleep."
Truthfully, Josh wasn't looking forward to sleeping. His nightmares plagued him, and he doubted he'd be able to rest after everything that had happened the last few days.
Lacing his fingers through hers, he forced himself to smile, for her sake. He wanted Sam to rest, as he knew she desperately needed it after everything.
Sam led him into her bedroom, a small smile gracing her features.
She was aware Josh's smile was forced, and she had a pretty good idea why. Sam didn't want to call him out on it though, in fear of ruining the moment they had just had.
Pulling open her bedroom door, she tugged Josh along behind her as she crossed her small room.
Josh smiled lovingly at her as she turned to him. He pulled her into his arms once more, giving her a goodnight hug.
"Sweet dreams, Sammy. I'll be in the living room if you need me." Josh planted one last kiss on her forehead, before forcing himself to step away from her.
Immediately, the warmth that Sam brought to him disappeared. He smiled at her one last time, before turning and grimacing at the door.
Sam stood there, wringing her hands as she watched him begin his slow march towards her door.
Internally fighting with herself, she decided almost immediately that she wouldn't be able to rest peacefully without him.
"Hey, wait." Sam flinched as she heard the eagerness in her voice. "Josh, you could stay."
Josh stopped suddenly, and he had to quickly fight to keep himself composed.
"Sam, are you sure?" Josh glanced over his shoulder, taking note of how flustered she looked. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Sam laughed lightly, nodding her head. "Of course I'm sure Josh. Besides, we've had so many sleepovers over the years."
They both knew it, though it would remain unspoken, that it wouldn't be like their previous sleepovers. Sure, they had even slept in the same bed before. But it was different now, and they both knew it.
Josh couldn't seem to find the words to agree, so he just nodded. He slipped off his hoodie, tossing it haphazardly across the room.
He watched as she slipped off her shoes, before walking past him towards her desk. Josh watched as she pulled her blonde hair into a messy bun, and he couldn't help but notice the way she smiled shyly when she saw he was watching her.
"Josh? I have some extra clothes in my closet that would fit you, if you want to change." Sam smiled gently at him, before gathering up some comfier clothes for herself.
Smiling at him one last time, Sam turned and walked out of her room, shutting the door behind her.
Josh stood there, his emotions on overdrive. All he could think about was the fact that they were about to sleep together, in the most innocent sense.
He knew they weren't about to have sex, but he couldn't help but notice that the air had an intimate feel to it.
Josh sucked in a breath, as he took in the fact that getting to sleep next to Sam might be the most beautiful thing he'd ever get to do.
Shaking his head frantically to dispel the thoughts, he crossed the room to her closet. In truth, he didn't care to change, but he was curious as to what the tiny Samantha had in her possession that could possibly fit him.
Flinging open the doors, he immediately caught sight of a very familiar navy knit sweater he thought he had lost several months ago. He chuckled as he imagined Sam sneaking into his room in the dead of night, intending to steal his clothing.
Josh laughed as he imagined what her reaction would be to seeing him wear his stolen clothing; he swiftly changed out of his top.
After throwing on some sweatpants that he found in her drawer, his jaw dropped as he realized they were his as well. He laughed to himself; the visual of Sam stealing his clothing was just too much.
At that moment, he heard the door softly click open. Josh turned to see Sam walking in, but she was looking down at the pile of clothes in her arms.
"Hey, Josh? Just in case nothing fits I have thes-" Sam abruptly cut herself off as she looked up to see Josh decked out in the clothes she had taken from him.
Sam's cheeks ignited a bright rose, before she cleared her throat. "I can explain that."
"Go ahead then." Josh's voice cracked as he went into hysterics, tears pricking his eyes as he laughed. Sam's reaction to being caught red-handed was picking at his heartstrings.
Sam blushed an even deeper shade of red as Josh began laughing, and she giggled softly. "They just smelt really good, okay?"
Still laughing, Josh began to blush as well. Hearing her say that his clothing smelt good, and was maybe even a comfort to her, made him feel like he had just downed a hot cup of tea.
As he began to compose himself, he rushed forward before sweeping Sam into his arms. "You're just too much for me Sammy."
He set her back down softly, before stretching his arms above his head. "Glad to see they still fit me. Now, how about we get some sleep?"
Sam nodded, before stepping past him and climbing into her bed. She gestured to the empty space next to her, smiling gently as she did so.
"Alright, Sam. If you're still sure about this." In truth, Josh was giddy knowing he was about to do this. He had a particularly nice image of wrapping Sam up in his arms, before they both drifted off to sleep.
Instead, he followed suit and climbed into the bed as she had, a comfortable distance between them.
"Goodnight Sammy. I'll see you in the morning." Josh spoke softly, as he clicked off her bedside lamp. He was afraid to act on this newfound tension that had settled between them.
Josh rolled over to face Sam, fidgeting with the comforter as he did so. He figured that it was still too soon to try to cuddle up to her, but no one said that he wasn't allowed to look at her.
He smiled at her, the corners of his lips crinkling as he took notice of the few strands of Sam's hair that had come out of her sloppy bun, and had framed her face beautifully.
"Goodnight, Josh. Wake me up if you need me, okay?" Josh nodded in return, before settling down into the comfortable mattress.
Josh didn't know what time it was when he jolted himself awake, but judging by the crick in his neck it had probably been a few hours.
He had had a nightmare. This time he dreamt that by the time Sam had Chris had found him in the mine, he was a wendigo, and he didn't hesitate to attack them.
As he sat up, the blankets crinkled around the movements of his body, and he felt Sam move with them.
"Josh?"
Sam's small voice, deepened by sleep, called out to him like nothing else. It brought him back from the brink when he needed it, and kept him sane.
"I'm sorry I woke you up Sammy, go back to sleep. I just had a bad dream." He spoke softly, hoping that she would listen. Josh always hated feeling like a burden to her. He ran his hands through his hair, gripping, using the feeling of his hair as an attempt to keep himself calm.
"Josh?" Again, Sam called for him.
Josh turned to look at her, afraid that he would hear her ask for him to move to the living room. Instead, she had her hand held out, intending to hold his.
He clasped his hand in hers, before settling back down under the covers. Sam squeezed his hand.
"Goodnight Josh. I love you."
Josh's eyes widened, his cheeks burning as he met Sam's eyes. She was blushing, her entire face betraying her nerves, but she was smiling too.
"You do?" Josh was in such disbelief from what she had said that he was sure she was kidding. "You really love me?"
Sam nodded in affirmation, squeezing his hand again as she did so. "I think I always have."
Josh felt like he was soaring, flying up with the birds and in the sunlight where everything was happy and nothing bad could ever happen.
"Oh, Sammy. I love you too. I love you so much." He rolled towards her then, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.
Sam giggled as he pulled away from her. "Settle down there cowboy, I think it's about time we get some sleep."
Smirking, Josh settled back down on the mattress. "I'll see you tomorrow Sam."
"Wake me up next time something happens, yeah? Goodnight Josh."
Even after Sam fell asleep, Josh laid there, silently thinking through his thoughts. He rubbed small circles onto her hand with his thumb as he thought, their interlocked hands rested in-between them.
After a while, Josh had come to a decision. He would ask her on a date tomorrow. He wanted to be with her, forever if he had any say in it, but for now he had to make her his to begin with.
Finally at peace with his decision, he began to slowly drift off, her hand still clasped in his. For now, things were okay.
They would be okay, together.
/
Hey guys, I'm so sorry for the huge hiatus I took on this story. I took such a long break that I had to actually go back and read through my other chapters to try to remember everything I was planning. In truth, I wasn't going to end this here. I was going to have them reunite with Emily, I had plans for double dates and group outings and more chapters. As much fun as I've had writing this story, I haven't really thought about Until Dawn for a few months now. And as much as I still love SamxJosh, I don't think about them or their storylines as often anymore. But, I do like where this ends. They still have a very bumpy road ahead of them, but I like the idea that they would work together to get through. If you are still following this story, I hope that you like how I've ended things.
However, if you still like my writing and are interested in maybe seeing more of me, I have some new story ideas for some other fandoms I'm in. If you guys would like to see some of those leave some reviews and let me know that you would! Maybe I could set up a poll about what fandom I should start writing for first. Just let me know!
Thank you guys so much for all of your reviews. You guys really helped me through such a dark time in my life. I'm in the dark right now again, but it will get better hopefully over time. I can't tell you how much all of your support has meant to me. Thank you.
