Jeff took a huge bite of Count Chocula and chewed noisily before pointing at the screen. "So, wait now." He looked over at Abed, who waggled his eyebrows in response. "So, is John Cusack the baby?

"What do you think?" Abed asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Who the hell wrote this?" Jeff asked as he continued to chew. "John Cusack ended up the love child of Catherine Keener and Cameron Diaz?" He sat up and glared at the television set. "Can't we just watch 'Rushmore' again?"

"Excellent," Abed answered as he rose to change the DVD. "This was the reaction you had to 'Magnolia' too, wasn't it?"

Jeff paused, giving Abed a critical eye. "I've never seen it."

"Cool," Abed replied, his eyes getting wide. "Cool, cool, cool. We'll watch that one next."

"Abed, when you said 'come over and we'll have a movie marathon, I was thinking more like 'Star Wars'." Jeff tipped his bowl up to his mouth to drink the chocolate milk out of it. "This sucked."

He hadn't actually talked to Abed since he'd yelled at him after coming back from the airport the other day. Abed had presumably left after Jeff's tirade. So it was relatively surprising when Abed had texted him that morning, inviting him over for what had turned out to be a hipster film marathon. They'd watched 'Fight Club' and 'Reality Bites', both of which Jeff considered classics, before Abed had put in 'Being John Malcovich', only after hearing Jeff had never seen it. Now Jeff knew it was with good reason that he'd never seen it.

"Jeff, you've seen 'Star Wars'. This was about expanding your understanding of human interaction." Abed poured himself another bowl full before handing the box over to Jeff.

"I am the one of us who actually has regular human interaction," Jeff shot back with a smirk as he settled further into Abed's uncomfortable couch and stretched his legs out in front of him.

"Besides, 'Star Wars' is kind of overdone," Abed continued as if Jeff hadn't just called him out. At this, Jeff fully turned his large frame in Abed's direction, awkwardly tucking one long leg under himself.

"Abed, it was this side of two weeks ago that you were acting out all of your Han Solo impulses with Annie." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully waiting for a reply from the other man.

"Stop projecting," Abed stated calmly as he stared at his spoon. "What happened between me and Annie during the paintball game isn't your issue here." His eyes moved to the television screen and stayed there. "Your issue is that Annie was into it at all."

Jeff's gut twisted unexpectedly and he put down his cereal bowl. "It wasn't about that, Abed." He ran a hand through his crunchy hair. "It was about…." He sighed. "You know she will cling to whoever will show her attention."

"And you were upset that for once, it wasn't you," Abed assessed easily.

Jeff threw his head back in frustration. "I need to just learn to stay home."

"You don't stay home because you keep waiting for one of us to agree with your decision." Jeff scowled deeply at him, but Abed was still riveted by the action on the screen. "You're so desperate for approval because really, you wanted to go and you didn't and you need all of us to assure you it was the right choice." Jeff exhaled slowly, trying to fight off the feelings of nausea that were working their way up his throat.

Jeff had somehow managed to discuss this issue with Britta, Shirley and Abed all within the last three days. Had they been talking about him behind his back? That wouldn't really surprise him honestly. The group had a way of doing that, so Jeff had to assume that there had been discussion about The Annie Situation. That was what he thought they would have called it. He was starting to wish that they would just all line up and take turns punching him in the balls. It might be less painful in the long run. Or at least maybe they could actually tell him what the hell they wanted him to do. If he was right to deny her, then couldn't they just leave it the fuck alone now?

Abed's phone rang from the pocket of his jeans and Jeff glowered silently as it was answered. "This is Abed."

It was completely unnerving how easily Abed could read him. For someone who didn't actually know how to relate to other people, he sure did understand them. Either that or they were just acting out a movie that Abed had seen once.

"Hey," Abed greeted the person. "Did you get something for me?" Jeff watched Abed curiously as the younger man ran through an obvious mental checklist. "That should work, yeah. Where did you guys go? Have you seen the Colluseum yet?" Jeff let out an involuntary noise from deep in his throat. Was Abed talking to Annie? He sat forward on the couch trying instead to focus on the movie. Wait, did he just say 'guys'? Who was she going places with in Italy? "Oh, I had another call." Abed turned to stare at Jeff. "I don't remember, what were we taking about?" Jeff let his leg begin to jiggle forcefully as he rubbed his mouth. "Oh, that." Jeff glanced up and met Abed's inquisitive gaze. "I think you'll know soon enough." Jeff let his eyes narrow suspiciously. "Yeah, he's actually right here," Abed continued, pointing a finger in Jeff's direction.

Jeff froze. She wanted to talk to him? What could he possibly say to her? 'Hey, send me a postcard from of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and also, I'm so sorry for abandoning you when all I really wanted to do was steal your bag of peanuts and hold your tiny hand during the part of take off that makes me queasy'? He could totally do this, he would just keep it light and conversational and-

But Abed was already turning away from him toward the bunk beds. "No, he's not sick. He just ate half a box of cereal." Jeff frowned at Abed's back. "I'll tell him." Abed spun back to face Jeff. "It's Annie. She says that if you're not feeling well, the deli by the movie theater has the best chicken soup in town."

"Yeah," Jeff said, his eyes closing tightly as he pounded his fist against the empty cushion next to him before rising and beginning to pace the tight quarters he was currently in. He looked down at the carpet, trying to hold his mental breakdown at bay. How did this girl- woman, whatever, how did she manage to bring out his most bi-polar tendencies?

"Okay," Abed said. "Where are you and Rich going tomorrow?"

What? The fuck? Did he just say?

Rich? As in Dr. Perfect?

Jeff's foot had connected with Abed's coffee table before he'd even realized that he'd kicked it. He froze in the next moment, meeting Abed's curious gaze. The other man quirked an eyebrow at him and Jeff grimaced at the immense pain that shot through his sandal-clad foot. "Son of a bitch!" he cried, limping back in the opposite direction.

"What?" Abed asked. "No, he's fine. This is just character growth." Jeff spun to face Abed, his eyes going manically wide. Did he just say character growth? Jeff was going to lose his big toenail and that was character growth? Rich was in Italy. With Annie. Jeff bent double, placing his hands on his thighs and breathed in deeply through his nose. What the hell had happened? How on earth had that happened? Was there any air in this tiny room? He couldn't breathe. Standing upright, Jeff limped out of Abed's room without even managing to get a farewell out of his closed throat.

God, Greendale. He had ended up here even during summer vacation. He couldn't escape this fucking school or its crazy ridiculous students. Somehow, even from six thousand miles away, Rich was besting him. Mocking him. He moved down the hallway, ignoring Leonard's taunts.

How had Abed not told him that Rich was in Italy with Annie? They'd spent the last two hours watching an incomprehensible piece of garbage about John Malcovich being a puppeteer and eating twelve thousand carbs and Abed couldn't have mentioned in passing that Jeff's mortal enemy was currently on his awesome vacation with Annie? He stepped out into the sun, glaring for no apparent reason at the newly- established Luis Guzman statue. Rich was fake, Rich had already said he didn't want her! What was he doing there? Jeff was the one who was supposed to be there.

Frowning into the sun, Jeff cursed. He couldn't just let Rich seduce her, could he? It was one thing for Annie to be romanced by some nameless Italian lothario she would never see again, but if something happened with Rich, it would come back here. Rich could be a real thing. Sure, he'd turned her down but Jeff knew that denying Annie was difficult to say the least. Especially if she was prancing around in little sundresses and being happy and perfect and-

He skidded to a stop on the pavement, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his foot. The idea that Rich would ever put his hands on Annie made Jeff's skin crawl and gave him the urge to kick something else just to make sure it hurt. What could he do about it now though?

"Mr. Winger!" he heard a happy cry from behind him and turned to acknowledge Professor Whitman. "How are you this fine summer day?"

"Hi Professor," he greeted flatly, squinting against the sun. "How is the world of accounting?"

"Positively incestuous," Whitman offered.

What the hell did that even mean?

"You seem conflicted about something, Jeff." Whitman gave him an appraising look. "Anyway I can be of assistance to you?" he asked, bowing before Jeff.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "No thanks, professor."

"'Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone'," Whitman stated with a somber face and Jeff sighed, exasperated.

"Thank you," he answered edgily. "But I'm just a little bit pre-occupied right now."

Whitman clapped his hands together. "Of course, Mr. Winger." He glanced down at Jeff's foot. "Are you aware your foot is bleeding?"

"Yeah," Jeff said dully. "I was seizing some anger."

The professor reared back in surprise at that confession. "Jeff my boy, violence is never the answer." Jeff ran a hand through his hair. He didn't have time for this kind of crazy right now. He was in the middle of a psychotic break. "When making the decision that is currently troubling your mind, keep this in mind, Jeffrey." He took a breath. "'There's a time for daring and a time for caution and a wise man understands which is called for.'"

Jeff stilled, inhaling deeply before glancing at the oddball professor.

What was he going to do?

Was there a chance he could actually be...wise?

Jeff sagged, letting himself relax. "Thank you sir," he said sincerely before walking away from the crazy professor. Jeff walked quickly toward his car, pulling his phone out. He dialed the number and waited for a response. On the third ring, the line went live.

"Hey, it's me." Jeff glanced back over his shoulder at the campus. "I need you to do something for me."