Yay for great reviews giving me the oomph I need to do this chapter! Love you guys and I hope you like this chapter even better : ) It's very late and I'm hoping I have proofed all of it correctly, but I'm very excited to post this. VERY big turn of events…even bigger than the granddaughter of an Earl thing lol
Chapter Twelve
"You're not terribly angry with me, are you?" Edith asked from the chair near the window the next morning. She was prim and pretty in her peach colored dress, but her face was etched with genuine concern.
I turned away from the wardrobe where I had removed the last of my clothes and shut it, putting the scarf in the suitcase on the bed. "I'm not angry." I told her honestly. "I wish you wouldn't have done it, but—"
"I thought." She paused. "Oh I don't know what I thought. You two just seemed to suit. I looked at you both and saw perfect matches for a puzzle."
"You don't need to play matchmaker for me." I snapped the suitcase shut. "I know you're happy with your editor and of course I'm glad for you, but I don't need someone to make me happy. I've gotten this far on my own."
"Kate, you can't tell me there wasn't anything there."
I stopped what I was doing and looked off. I wouldn't admit it out loud, I could barely admit to myself, but of course there was. Of course I couldn't deny the fact that I felt instant joy whenever I saw him or even thought of him. Last night on that bench I felt a closeness with him I hadn't felt since David. I wanted to pour my heart out to him, every last secret, every last skeleton. When he had kissed me I was swept up on a warm comforting wave. I didn't want that moment to end. Then when we had come back inside and seen Lord Grantham there, cold eyes upon us. The guilt hit me head on and the pain from it still lingered. The conversation with Lady Grantham hadn't helped either. I felt open and exposed now and every minute I spent in this house now stung sharp and raw.
"There wasn't." I finally answered. "I've made a friendly acquaintance. That's all."
A footman came into the room then, taking the suitcase from the bed silently and then leaving the room just as quickly as he had come in. Sweet Grace had already been in to help me get ready that morning and we had exchanged a nice good bye. She said she hoped I would be back soon. I highly doubted I would.
Edith waited until we were alone again before raising her eyebrows at me. "Acquaintance?"
"That is what I said. Shall we go downstairs?" I reached for my coat and checked myself in the mirror, adjusting the large blue bow at the center of long v neck on my blouse. Edith rose from her seat, defeated and I followed her down the stairs.
When we reached the landing I saw Sybbie and her nurse standing in the hall. The nurse was bent down, buttoning the little girls sweater and to her credit, the child waited until she was finished before rushing over to me. I knelt down and squeezed her tight. She brought the first honest smile to my face of the day. I was going to miss her terribly.
"Are you going home?"
"I am."
"Do you have a big house like this?"
I laughed, "I don't, but it's only me and my typewriter. We don't need much room." She nodded and fingered the button on her sweater. Her face showed a baby like roundness when she put her chin to her chest. It was so sweet and gave me a quick glimpse into what she must have looked like as an infant. "Are you sad that I'm leaving?" I then asked.
She nodded.
"How about we make a plan to see one another then. You could come to London with Aunt Edith, perhaps? We'll have tea and go to the zoo and maybe…"I learned in closer, whispering, "We could even get some ice cream."
She pulled away and beamed at me, nodding excitedly.
"But it's a secret for now. Just the two of us know…and Aunt Edith." I looked up at Edith who smiled at her niece and I in acknowledgement.
"I won't tell." She promised and then gave me a fierce hug. "I love you." She whispered and my heart melted in a big puddle. I had to brush away a tear quickly before she pulled away. She then ran back to her nurse and I rose only to be startled by the site of Tom standing in front of me. He must have walked in just moments before. Edith saw him too.
"I'm going to find Carson and make sure everything is ready." She said from behind me, though I didn't look back at her. I heard her footsteps leave the hall and head for another room, leaving Tom and I alone in the large open room.
"I wanted to see you before you left." He said. I noticed he looked as tired as I surely did. His voice was deep and it filled me with trepidation.
"Well here I am." I replied, forcing myself to sound as normal as possible.
He nodded. "I should apologize to you. Last night…well it was wrong of me to put you in such a situation. There's no excuse for it and I regret it now."
I swallowed hard. He was trying to put me aside. It didn't matter then that I had woken up that morning intending to do the same to him, I felt the hurt coming all the same. He spoke more. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying, but the meaning of it was clear. Numbly I nodded when it seemed appropriate, arguing silently with myself against the part that was upset by this and the one that said I should have never let it get to this point in the first place.
"I am sorry. Very sorry." He mumbled.
Pulling my wits and strength together I gave him a smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine and you're right. As long as everything is fine with you and Lord Grantham than I see no reason why we can't pretend it never happened."
He looked perplexed. "Yes, it is, but—"
"That's that then." I said causually, "It was really wonderful to meet you, Mr. Branson." I was breaking on the inside. I was ready to scream, I needed to get out of here, away from Downton, away from Yorkshire and be safely inside my flat in London.
I said another rushed and clipped to goodbye to him, not really looking at him and not really listening either and turned around, finding Edith in a moment and saying courteous good-byes to Lady Grantham and Mary who appeared from the Drawing Room. It was only when I stepped out of the front doors a moment later that I turned around. I could still see him in the very spot I had left him. Hands in pockets, staring directly at me. The brief thought that I had done the wrong thing crossed my mind, but I quickly dashed it. I couldn't let myself think things like that. If there was any hope from protecting myself against heartache it was banishing thoughts like that from my mind. I would not be left again, I would not allow myself to be broken and left alone ever again. This was for the best, just as I said to him and it should remain as such, so I looked away and got into the car.
It was for the best.
It was raining when we arrived back in London. Edith's Aunt Rosamond had sent a car for her that she gladly pulled me into and instructed me to tell the driver my address. "I won't let you walk around in this rain to find a cab on your own" she told me as we started on our way. "Though I don't understand why you won't come back to Aunt Rosamond's with me, at least for supper."
I shook my head, wiping some of the wetness off the sleeves of my coat. "I really just want to be home. Thank you, though."
When I had first come to London I had relied on Alec and his mother for lodging, but during my second year of college I had saved enough money to move out on my own, finding a lovely little flat in the heart of Richmond. It was actually the upper floor of a rather large brick home owned by Mrs. Eliza Cochran. She had lost both her husband and son during the War and had the upstairs converted to its own separate home for a border for extra income, and also I guessed, to prevent loneliness. She opened the front door when the grand car pulled up, heedless of the rain and gave me a wave as I got out of the vehicle with the chauffer's assistance. I said a quick goodbye and thank you to Edith, promising to see her at the office the next day and made a run for the door. As soon as myself and my luggage were safely inside, Mrs. Cochran shut the door and fussed at me to take off my coat and shoes.
"I have a stew on the stove, Dearie, some fresh bread too if you're hungry."
"I am." I answered with a smile. I followed her back into the kitchen, thankful to be home. "Has anything happened while I was gone?"
"Mrs. Granger next door and poor Mr. Granger have had a few rows you'll be glad you missed." She said, pulling a bowl from the cupboard and ladling a hefty serving of stew into it. I slid into a seat at the worn oak table, "And Johnny from across the street came over to replace the frayed clothes line. Not that it matters in this weather." She placed the bowl in front of me with a chuck of bread beside it. "How was Yorkshire?"
I laughed. Mrs. Cochran wasn't too big a fan of the aristocracy. She called them pompous and spoiled. "Not as pompous as you would imagine." I told her and tasted the soup, relishing in its warm comfort. The food at Downton had been wonderful, but this was more to my liking.
"Those Crawley's weren't mean to ye, were they?"
"Not at all." I told her after taking another bite. "They were very kind, but not overly so."
"Well that's good. I don't mind telling you I was worried. All alone there with a bunch of Lords and Ladies."
"I was fine, I promise."
I didn't tell her anything else though. Not about Tom or Sybbie, who weren't exactly a Lord or a Lady. Instead I finished my dinner, talked with her a bit more about the going ons in the neighborhood and then went upstairs, carrying my suitcases to my door. I dropped them by the bed when I was finally alone. Telling myself I would unpack later.
I took a long around the small room. It was no Downton, but it was precious to me for it was my very own. Nearly everything in it was mine, paid for with my own money. When I had come from Ireland I had only two suitcases with me, the very two that were sitting on the floor at my feet then. Everything that I had acquired since then had been mostly by my own means. I thought of how much I had changed since then. It was nearly Christmas '20 when I arrived in London. Alec had insisted upon it. "You can't stay here. It will kill you." He had said and I knew he was right. He had bought me passage on the next ship to Liverpool. From there I took the train to London where his mother, Lady Lacey met me at the station. She was by herself since her husband, Alec's father had passed and took me into her home with open arms. If I lived to be one hundred, I still wouldn't be able to thank them enough for the kindness they had shown me. Not just comfort and a place to stay, but also encouraging me to take care of myself, helping me find a job, go to University... I knew I wouldn't have made it without them.
I was back at the office the next day. Edith hadn't arrived yet, but I knew she had planned to. I had plenty of notes on my desk to keep me busy not to mention the request of Mr. Gregson to outline an article on Vladimir Lenin who had apparently suffered another stroke and had given up his position as the leader of the Soviet government. I planned to go to the library later on to do a bit of research on the Russian government for that one.
I stayed busy all morning. I had to. I would have lost my mind if I let it wander for even a moment. I refused to acknowledge the large gaping hole in my heart that Tom Branson had put there.
A knock on the door came and I turned away from the typewriter to see one of the secretaries through the window. I motioned for her to open the door. "Lucy?"
"I'm sorry, but there's a man waiting for you in the waiting room." She said, adjusting the thick rimmed glasses on her nose.
I rose, it couldn't be Tom could it? Would he…
"Mr. Edgecomb he said his name was." She then said, dashing all of my hope.
I went out of the office quickly though, finding Alec, blonde and handsome, casually seated in the otherwise empty room. "Hello there." I greeted.
He smiled and stood, "Hello Stranger," and strode toward me, placing a kiss on my cheek. "It's about time you made your way back. The secretary has been telling me you were gone all last week."
"Just a little holiday. What are you doing here?"
"I came to offer you lunch, if you're interested."
I smiled, realizing it was after noon and I was a tiny bit hungry. "I am. Just let me get my coat and tell Lucy where I'm going."
A half hour later I found myself sitting across the table from him at the Cumberland Hotel, watching a waiter pour water into our glasses. When he was gone, Alec reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a yellow envelope and slid it across the fine linen of the table. I picked it up and looked at him in question.
"What is it?"
"They found him." He told me solemnly.
I felt my breath choke in my throat and knew the color was draining from me. "Mickey?"
He nodded. "I have a friend at Scotland Yard. They found him three weeks ago somewhere outside Edinburgh."
"Scotland?"
He nodded again "He's been taken back to Dublin, most likely he's already arrived. They'll keep him there until a trial can be set up. He won't admit it to it still so there will have to be another investigation." He leaned in closer. "You know what that means don't you?"
I was numb and could barely hold my gaze on him. "What?"
"Kate, you're going to have to go back. They're going to want to speak with you. In all honesty I'm sure they already know where you are and have been content to leave you alone these past few years, but you'll need to tell your story again, to a jury this time."
"If I don't want to?"
"That might not be an option."
All I once I felt both nauseous and panicked. I let the envelope fall from my hand onto the table and made tight fists with both of my hands to ward off the imminent shaking. I took a deep breath, and then another and another.
Across the table Alec watched in sympathy. He didn't enjoy telling me this news any more than I liked hearing it.
"I don't want to relive it," I told him softly. "I don't think I can."
"He killed your husband, Kate. You need to find the strength to." Hands came down on mine and gripped them and my eyes rose to his, "You need to fight for David."
