Chapter 12
Sioux
By the light of day, Sioux admired the clean lines, and proud bow of the Northwestern as she and Andy jumped from the Time Bandit on to her deck. They made their way to the galley where Sig greeted them. 'How's your psychotic brother Andy?' 'Oh, he's major chill this mornin'.' Andy said airily and gave Sioux a sly look. Sig took her in. She was wearing a Time Bandit knitted watch cap low on her forehead bringing her startling wide green eyes, strong features and flawless skin into sharp focus. Long straight black hair cascaded down her shoulders. A tight black turtle neck sweater and jeans tucked into red snakeskin boots completed the package. 'Smokin' Hot. Johnathan is one lucky bastard.' Sig thought.
Sioux offered Sig her hand and smiled sweetly. "I'm Souix. Nice to meet you. Johnathan, when he's not psychotic, speaks very highly of you and the Northwestern.' Sig gave her a searching look, seemed to hesitate for an instant, then smiled big, and shook it. In his hasty departure from the Time Bandit he remembered he had passed her in the forepeak heading towards the galley hauling a bucket of water. 'You were hauling ass with that bucket last night. Where were you going with it?'
Sioux drawled. 'To toss it in the aforementioned psychotic's face.' Sig threw his head back and laughed. 'I like you. Come on in and let me get you a cup of coffee. Oh, you too Andy.' 'Gee, thanks Sig.' Andy deadpanned as Sig fussed over Sioux and settled her in the banquet. She looked up at the framed picture that hung over it. 'Enstrom's Grace.' She commented with interest. Sig was surprised and impressed she recognized the work, explaining his mother had selected it, and that she refused to allow the boat to sail on its maiden voyage to Alaska until it was hung.
'What an inspired choice and perfect for your boat.' Her warm smile and green eyes were charming the crust off Sig. 'Do you have family on you the boat like the Hillstrand's? She asked. Andy choked on his coffee. 'Oh yeah, we're a family boat.' Sig replied dryly. As if cued by a stage manager in a drawing room stage play, in bustled Edgar, Jake, and Norman. Not immediately seeing Sioux, Edgar threw up his hands 'Yo Andy, what's up with your bat-shit crazy brother threatening to kill my ass for doing what any man with a pulse woulda done if he saw a half na. . .' Jake had spotted Sioux and gave Edgar a sharp elbow in the side. 'Oww!' Edgar jumped. Andy cut in quick. 'Guys this is Sioux, she's a real old family friend who is giving us a hand this trip'. 'Sioux, meet Sig's brothers, Norman , baby bro Edgar, and his prized protégé' Jake Anderson, who just don't seem to want to get it through his thick skull that fuckin' with dear brother Johnathan is just plain stupid.' Andy gave Jake a hard look. 'You lookin' to get keelhauled for real this time dude? Jake stuttered. 'N-n-n-no.' His blue eyes wide and scared.
Sioux had come in at the end of Johnathan's outburst the previous evening, and no idea what Andy was referring to, but thought Jake was absolutely adorable with his tousled blond hair and huge, vulnerable and sweet, blue eyes. Edgar looked nothing like Sig she thought. He was tall and ruggedly handsome, with a sardonic vibe about him. Norman favored Sig in looks, but was hard to read as he appeared painfully shy, especially in contrast to Sig's commanding confidence and Edgar's palpable sexiness.
Edgar didn't like the look he was getting from Andy, whose lips were getting thinner by the second and knew it was time to 'exit stage left' while the getting' was good. 'Well, it was real nice meeting you Sioux. Have a good trip.' As he herded Jake and a confused Norman out to the deck he muttered, 'Come on, gotta go fluff the crab condos, or some shit dudes, move! '
It was time to get down to business. Andy and Sig talked about how different crew members, who for one reason or another, had limited to practically zero air time over the seasons. From Norman's refusal to engage with the camera crews or answer any of their questions, to Crosby on the Wizard's conflict of interest with a competitive network, to Neil's foul mouth that made the family-friendly channel cringe.
'Can you turn the air blue with cussing every 3 seconds like Neil? Andy asked. 'Or go Slingblade scary mute like Norman? Sig inquired. Sioux replied. 'I could happen, but I don't think it would do the trick. You guys have worked with these people for a long time. Let me ask you a few questions about them.'
As Sioux asked her questions designed to assess moral character, foibles, and personal motivations of the Deadliest Catch production team. She hadn't studied at the Freud Institute in London for nothing. Her 'mentor' Louis-Philippe had stressed a sound grounding in psychology, specifically classical psychoanalytical theory was critical in understanding how to motivate people to unwittingly buy-in to her deceptions. After she finished, she leaned back. 'Give me a minute to take this all in.' She stalled for longer than she needed, just to appear to be thinking hard. Andy and Sig were transfixed not only by the type of questions she asked, but by her focused attention to their answers, and her follow-up questions, as they described the Discovery Channel crew and producers.
Sioux leaned back and offered. 'They sound like a group of thrill seeking professionals who are dedicated to their craft and totally committed to capturing the 'story' of each boat for their viewers, in a formula that has been successful for eight years, right?' Sig and Andy nodded. She continued. 'So what would motivate them to be totally invested in ignoring me, and to work assiduously to insure there was not one second of tape or audio documentation of my image?' Andy and Sig shrugged and threw up their hands.
Sioux couldn't help but let a just the smallest hint of smugness slip. 'The classic 'damsel in distress' scenario.' Andy and Sig looked at each other in confusion. Sioux leaned forward and outlined the broad strokes of her scheme how it could work. When she finished, she leaned back, and gave Sig and Andy an inquiring look. 'Whadda think?' Sig looked at Andy. 'I think it could work. What do you think?' Andy gave Sioux a long, searching look. 'Sioux.' He drawled. 'While I remain thoroughly convinced brother Neil possessed the greatest criminal mind of the 20th century, you however, may have the greatest one of the 21st century. It's brilliant!' Sioux preened at the compliment but sadly thought. 'If you only knew. . .'
Next Sioux got down to the nitty-gritty of the plan. 'The whole enchilada will depend on the two of you and how you sell it. So tell me now which scenario you think you can deliver. . .stone, cold, solid.' She gave them both a steely stare worthy of a Navy Seal Team Captain prepping Commandos for a mission.
'Scenario 1: I'm the daughter of Momma Joan's best friend fleeing a psychotic abusive ex-husband who has tracked me down wherever I have fled for years. He's beat me to a pulp on numerous occasions, and came close to killing me the last time he found me. I spent three months in the hospital that time recovering from his vicious attack. I'm on the Time Bandit cooking because hiding out on a crab boat on the Bering Sea was the best and last resort my Momma could think of, and begged Momma Joan to have her boys take me on. Got it?' Andy and Sig nodded like school boys at a lecture given by their hot teacher.
'Scenario 2: Same Momma Joan's friend, only I'm in Homeland Security Witness Protection.' Sig and Andy's mouths dropped. 'My dumb-ass married some Iraqi /Afagani/ Pakistani dude who unbenounced to me was hooked into Al-Qaeda. I finked him out to the Feds and got to keep a real low profile until he goes to trial. Ergo, the best, most secure and safe place for me to hide out is at the end of the earth in 'Far-West- butt-fuck-Alaska' on a crab boat on the Bering Sea. Discuss among yourselves.' Andy and Sig looked at each other bug eyed. 'More coffee?' Sioux chirped.
Andy and Sig gave each other a long searching look . 'Give us a few minutes here Sioux.' Andy asked and gave Sig a pirate smile. 'Sig, are we, or are we not fishermen, renown for our expertise at making epic bullshit convincing? Sig matched Andy's pirate smile and replied. 'That we would be my friend. Sioux, we'll have those Discovery folks ready to protect you with their very lives. Hell yeah, we need some more coffee.' Sioux smiled sweetly, rose, and gathered their empty cups.
What Sioux masked as she rustled up coffee and listened as Andy and Sig strategized how they could take each of her scenarios from bullshit to believable, was her pain and shame. These were good men, who because of their love and esteem for Johnathan, were willing to deceive people they had not just worked with, but had shared first-hand the harsh life and death reality of fishing the Bering Sea, in the belief that she could be the catalyst of his salvation. Their acceptance and faith in her made her feel unworthy, and her ability to manipulate and deceive, tasted like ash in her mouth. She bowed her head and prayed to the Great Spirit of her father's people, and the Lord Jesus of her mother's, that her last selfish grasp for happiness wouldn't destroy them all.
'Where's that coffee?' Sig barked. Sioux turned and quickly covered her self-loathing with an adoring smile. 'Coming right up my heroes'.
Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the great white Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what i need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Holding Out For A Hero - Bonnie Tyler
