'This is it.' Emma thought to herself. At least her last words had been 'I love you' which was some comfort to her. But then the air she need suddenly filled her lungs and she coughed up water. It was a lot like it had been when she arrived in the Enchanted Forest but this time Killian wasn't there beside her. 'Killian!'

She looked around but he was nowhere to be found. And that's when she realized where she was. She was back at the campsite at the edge of the lake. Now she understood the saying be careful what you wish for. For so long she had wished to return to her land but now that she had she just wanted to be back in her beloved's arms.

A slight breeze came from the water and Emma shivered. Gone was the thick fabric dress and in its stead was the underwear she'd been wearing when she went swimming in the lake a year ago. Luckily her clothes were still stashed in a nearby bush safe and warm.

She walked back to the tents and campers and things looked exactly as they had when she left. Actually it was like she'd never left at all, and it was sort of eerie. Had she just swallowed too much water while she was swimming and it was all just some wild dream or hallucination? But then something caught her eye and she knew that wasn't true. On her left thumb was a simple gold wedding band that had been Killian's. At least she had something to remember him by. But that wasn't enough for her. She wanted him not his ring. She wanted his love not just a symbol of it. Hadn't he just promised to always be with her? Tears started streaming down her face and she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning Emma woke up with the sun which didn't help her sulky mood at all. Killian was always up at this hour though and tried his best not to wake her. But if he did he would kiss her forehead and tell her to go back to sleep and she always did. This morning however there was no kiss and there was no way she was going back to sleep.

She began to pack up her things, some her own and some stolen. Considering that last detail she figured she should leave the campsite quickly before anyone missed their things.

"Excuse me, my brain isn't working this morning. Could you tell me what today's date is?" She asked an older woman that had just left her tent as she walked by. The woman answered her and Emma thanked her then continued on her way.

'How is this possible?' She asked herself. The date the woman had given her was the exact same day she left. Technically it was the day after. Or was it the same since it all probably happened after midnight? She decided that she didn't care about the specifics; her brain wasn't awake enough to figure that out. But she knew enough. She'd traveled across time and realms and spent the most amazing year of her life with someone she loved. Only to be brought back to the same time and place as if she'd never left.

Another weird thing she'd noticed was her reflection. Her hair was a few inches shorter than it had been yesterday. And something about her face seemed…younger? The person reflected in the window of a car was not the same person she'd seen in the mirror yesterday. Had whatever this was made her a seventeen year old again? That's just not possible she told herself despite everything that had already happened. Something that probably everyone woman over the age of thirty wish would happen, happened to her against her will. Now she was seriously starting to question if her time in the Enchanted ever happened. People just don't go back in time or in age. But the ring on her find kept telling her otherwise.

A few days later she made it to Portland. It had been so long since she was in such a big city and she found herself once again wishing that Killian was with her to help her adjust. But he was with her, at least a piece of him was. His ring gave her hope but it also reminded her of what she'd lost. That first night had hurt so much, but now she was just numb, probably due to shock and confusion. All her life she wanted a family and to be loved but never had. Now though, she had had a taste of what it was like and didn't want to go without it.

If she could she'd go back she would in a heartbeat but she knew that wasn't possible. And if she couldn't move back she'd move forward. Thanks to Killian she'd been able to forget her past and she knew he wouldn't want her to let him drag her down. She'd find a way to survive in her world again.

"I love you, Killian." She whispered as she took his ring off her finger and placed it in the front pocket of her jeans.

He was gone now and she needed to accept that. She knew she'd never really move on but she also knew that she would never see him again. So why should she torture herself? Life with Killian was over but that didn't mean her entire life was over. She had to keep living and that's what she did.

And one of the first things she did was steal a car. Not her smartest choice, especially considering that the owner popped out of the backseat as she was driving. He asked her name and at first she didn't give it. But the second time she answered.

"It's Emma…Emma Swan."

'That's who you are now' she told herself. You're not the same girl anymore that you were last week. Killian is gone and so is Emma Jones.

CS

For the third time in her life Emma found herself coughing up water. And that was three times too many in her opinion. This time, her parents were on either side of her, both of whom looking very relieved. She looked up at the sky and saw the clouds parting and knew her plan worked and the storm was over. They were safe, for now.

"I told you." She said still trying to catch her breath. She had a feeling she'd probably get a stern lecture for what she did sooner or later but it was worth it. They couldn't save Henry if they all wound up dead from arguing.

And that's pretty much what she told them when they made it to the island.

"Gold was right. This land is run on belief. All of us have been too busy being at each other's throats to be believers. I was as wrong as anyone else." She admitted. "But it's time for all of us to believe, not in magic, but in each other."

"You want to be friends?" Regina questioned her incredulously.

"I don't want or expect that." She shook her head. "I know there's a lot of history here and a lot of hate."

"Actually I quite fancy you from time to time when you're not yelling at me." Hook interrupted with a comment.

'Was he ever serious?' She asked herself as she refrained from rolling her eyes. It was so like him to say something like that but that was also part of why she loved him. 'Now's not the time for that, Emma.' She told herself.

"We don't need to be friends. What we need to know is the only way to get Henry back is cooperation." She told them. "We just need to succeed. And the way we do that is by just being who we are. A hero, a villain, a pirate, it doesn't matter which because we're gonna need all those skills whether we can stomach them or not."

She didn't care who she had to team up with. As long as she got her son back and she hoped the others realized that too. But she'd do it alone if she had to. She was a mother after all and that's what she told Regina when she asked what her skill was.

"But now I'm also your leader. So either help me get my son back, or get out of the way." She stated and apparently something she said convinced them because her parents followed immediately after her with Hook not far behind and Regina reluctantly took up the rear.

That didn't last long though. David and Hook took the lead since Hook knew the island the best and David had a sword to cut away the branches and Emma took the rear with her mother. Regina complained about the hike and insisted that she could have just used magic. She couldn't exactly blame her since she wasn't the biggest fan of hiking herself but she trusted Hook.

"Here, you need to stay hydrated." Her mother said and passed her their water canteen or whatever it was.

"Thanks, Mary Margaret," She said, the words slipping out, out of habit.

"You know, Mary Margaret's a bit formal." She commented. "You could call me Mom if you want…you've done it before."

"That was back when we were…"

"Were about to die." She finished for her. "Oh no, I get it."

Emma continued on. She felt bad. She wanted to call her mother, Mom, instead of Mary Margaret. But once again she was pushing her feelings aside. She could be a daughter and let herself be loved once she found her son.

A little farther ahead the whole group stopped. A Dreamshade bush was in their path. Hook calmly explained what it was but she could only imagine what was going on inside his head. Being here at all probably wasn't easy for him but he was here, for Henry. She'd have to find a way to thank him when this was over.

"Your father's a distrustful fellow." Hook commented to her when David chose to go the opposite way he had suggested to avoid the Dreamshade.

"He's just not used to working with the bad guys." She told him even though she knew that Pan was more of a villain than he ever was or could be.

"I can assure you, on this island I am not the bad guy." He confirmed her thoughts.

"Yeah well, Pan's not supposed to be one either." She replied.

"What possibly gave you that idea?"

"Every story I ever heard as a child." She told him.

'Oh no, Henry thinks Peter Pan is he a hero.' She thought. If Pan came across him he would trust him and who knows what danger that could get him into. Why didn't she tell him the truth that afternoon when he thought Hook could become a good guy with the right reasons?

"Well, they got it wrong." He told her.

'No kidding.' You'd think she'd have figured it out a decade ago that her pirate husband would be Captain Hook when he talked of Neverland and his brother. But no, she didn't and now she was still trying to figure out how they could get Killian's story so wrong.

"Tell me something, love. In these stories, what was I like?" He asked. "Other than a villain, handsome I gather?"

"If waxed mustaches and perms are your thing." She replied trying not to laugh.

"I take it by your tone perms are bad?" He assumed, once again unsure of things in her world.

Bad was an understatement in her opinion. Boy did they ever get him wrong!

CS

They made camp a little while later, despite Regina's protest, and Emma managed to get some shut-eye. That is until she was awoken by crying that no one seemed to hear. She took her sword and started walking away from the campsite. And that's when he appeared.

Pan looked like a normal innocent boy and she could see why he was portrayed as such in her world. But she knew better and had him against a tree with her sword at his throat in a second. He wasn't quite what she expected. She thought he'd be more like Gold or Regina, more outwardly villainous. He didn't appear like that at all. But appearances can be deceiving and his definitely was. He looked like a boy but he was just as sneaky and conniving as any other villain, especially when he gave her a map to find Henry that was blank along with some stupid clue.

Apparently he liked to play games, but finding her son was no game to her. But like it or not, they had to play by his rules. Oddly enough David and Hook agreed with each other twice on that point. Pan said only she could unlock the map. That didn't stop Regina though from placing a locator spell on it when Emma couldn't unlock the map. And it led them into the Dark Jungle, into a trap.

She thought she saw Henry but it was really Pan who informed them that they'd broken the rules. Then they were surrounded by Lost Boys that were all armed with torches, bows, spears, you name it. The fight wasn't long but Pan got his point across and luckily he called the boys off before anyone got really hurt. And now it was back to square one, admit who she really was.

She quickly grew frustrated with the map and herself. Nothing she said did anything. But her mother encouraged her to keep fighting. Then she asked her why she stopped fighting the Lost Boy with the knife. Emma began to explain that he was just a boy and slowly she let her walls down and spoke of her time in the foster system. When she finally said that she felt like an orphan and the island appeared on the map.

Twenty-twenty hindsight it should have been obvious since she was in Neverland, home of the Lost Boys, that the answer was orphan. But maybe she needed to have this talk with her mother. She'd always put it off, and it had hurt a little to think back to that time, but she felt closer to her afterwards. And she hoped that things would change, she was ready for them to change. She didn't want to be an orphan, she wanted her family. And maybe being here would finally make her let go of her past.

"Is rum your solution to everything?" She asked Hook after she revealed that she'd unlocked the map. To be honest she didn't know why she did.

"It certainly doesn't hurt." He replied and then passed it to her once he'd had his drink. "So just how did you unlock the map?"

"I did what Pan asked." She said not really answering his question. She'd just had this talk with her mother and she wasn't ready for round two with Hook.

"Just who are you, Swan?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She quipped and handed him back the flask.

"Perhaps I would." He said quietly. "I know you've told me the basics of our little story. But that's only a year of your life. I think it's fair to assume that there's a lot more to Emma Swan than there is to Emma Jones."

"Shhh!" She yelled at him even though everyone else was out of earshot. "Don't say that. My father already wants to kill you; he doesn't need that bit of information. I need to find my son and I don't have time for a repeat of what happened back on the ship."

"I'd rather not have a repeat of that either, love." He stated in all seriousness, which didn't last long. "But as for your father, we seem to be getting along just fine."

"Exactly, because he knows we were in love once and thinks it's all in the past. If he even thought for a minute that you and I were…well you'd die a worse death than Pan is going to."

"Is that was it was, love? Admitting that you have a secret last name?" He asked with that same annoying look he usually gave her when making a suggestive comment and not even thinking twice about the threat her father posed.

"You wish, pirate. You wish." She told him then made her way to follow the others.

CS

She really needed to stop going off on her own. Every time she did, Pan showed up. This time he taunted her about being an orphan but she was used to stupid bullies. What did get to her was what he said about Henry. That he wouldn't forgive her and wouldn't want to leave Neverland. As she walked away he said one last thing.

"You won't just feel like an orphan, you'll be one." Pan stated ominously.

He was wrong. She had forgiven her parents. She knew hard choices came with being a parent. It just wasn't easy to forget the past, even though she was trying, and have a family relationship with the lives they led and everything that kept happening. At the end of the day though, she cared about her family and shouldn't let Pan hurt her son or her parents.


Sorry guys for the delay. I forgot Monday was a holiday here in the States. I don't know where my head has been lately. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter and there is one last flashback coming in a few chapters of Emma's life after returning to the real worls. Like this one it's mostly thoughts and I hope it comes across okay because I rewrote it several times trying to find the right feel. After that I'll be going and filling in some fluffy moments from the past so if you want to see something let me know. Also to make up for being day late her is a little preview of the next chapter for you.

Gratitude

"Let me give you a bit of advice, Hook." The prince began. "She may have loved you way back when. But you're both different people now. Emma is a hero not a villain, she's never gonna like you. Your kind never changes."

"Is that so?" He questioned him. "I thought you just said we're different people?"

"You know what I mean. After all these years you're still nothing but a pirate, only you've gotten worse, and that's what will never change. But Emma was an orphan who now has a family and is only becoming more and more of a hero each day."

"You don't know anything about me, mate." He stated quietly but the menacing tone was still there.

"I know enough, pirate." The prince said in a similar tone and shoved him as he went to follow the ladies.

To be continued...