Chapter 12 - Confidences

.

A/N: here we learn that another Canon character is dead and gone. Not one I am particularly fond of, but I hope it doesn't trouble you too much.

.

"Is there anymore coffee?" Bella was back.

"Cold, by now. Let me make you a fresh pot."

She seemed fine, the tearful storm abated. I took my cue from her, pushing down the remorse that had almost incapacitated me.

"Can you alert the Quileutes about the spy?" I asked.

"Yes, but since we fear their phones might be unsafe, I always use a different SIM card. I have a supply of them. I call, then we have code words and stuff, and finally somebody gets back to me. It takes time, but it's safe. I'll need to buy another cell phone now."

What a complicated charade they had put in place! And useless, probably, because Demetri was on his own, without the sophisticated internet technologies the Volturi could provide. In fact he had to resort to planting a spy in order to discover Alice's whereabouts.

"You can use my phone," I offered. "Then, if you want, we can go shopping for one."

Bella stared at me, hard, then assented with a sharp nod. I had passed a test, and a feeling of satisfaction warmed my chest. I gave her my phone, she changed cards and then made her call, while I brought her the refilled coffee mug.

"Now we wait." She was silent for a while, watching me while she sipped. I could get lost in the liquid brown of her eyes. Then she spoke.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why did you run away?"

It was an easy enough answer: "After about two hundred years of doing the Volturi's will, I had enough. Just so that you know, I am not proud of my role in the Cullens' downfall."

Bella considered it for a long time. Finally she asked me what I had done immediately after my flight. And I found myself answering, telling her everything, apart from my wager with Death.

I was ashamed of what I had done in my early days of freedom. For the first time, I considered how my actions, the people I had killed – and not even to sate my thirst, but just to steal – would appear to a human.

When I got to Atlantic City, Mr. Balistreri and the Russian gangster's part, I felt slightly better.

"So you are hunting criminals now?" she asked shrewdly.

"Yes." There was nothing to add, but Bella surprised me, again.

"Well then, you are probably saving more lives than you are taking."

Was I? Her point of view was surely interesting.

I concluded my tale with my Wall Street exploits - successful due to mind reading - and she actually laughed.

"In different circumstances Alice would be so happy to know you. Working together, you would be billionaires in no time!"

We both decided that there was no point in staying inside. The sky was overcast, so it was fine for me. Bella needed a new cell phone – the sooner the better. Then she had to tell the library that, for personal reasons, she wouldn't be going in for a few days, and reassure Lucy of her well-being.

"I'll call the library from a booth. Then I would like to go home and change, if you don't mind. Oh, I have also to switch coats with my colleague. I'll tell her I've left hers at the Chinese laundry near my house, where she can collect it and drop mine. I am a good client."

I had to retrieve my motorcycle too, left near her office. As an afterthought, I took a spare helmet I had – it had come with the Ducati, but I hadn't liked it, and I subsequently bought a black one with a darker visor. Seeing I was taking it with me, Bella's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything.

After the telephone call and her purchase, we went to Bella's home. She had just inserted the SIM card in her new cell phone when it rang.

"Hi, Uncle Billy," she said, looking at me. I realized I was making her self conscious so I left immediately, saying I was going to take my bike and park it nearby.

When I was back, she had concluded her call and was eager to speak about it.

"That was Billy Black," Bella said. "He was my father's best friend and his son, Jacob, was my best friend when we were kids. Jacob was a shape shifter, while Billy was never one. It seems that – due to vampires' absence – a generation escaped the curse. Because some of them consider it a curse, you know. Jacob, in particular. And yet he died in the wolf form, fighting vampires…"

"So, what did you tell Uncle Billy?" Curious as I was about the tribe's dynamics, I wanted to know how the call had ended. But I would ask her later about the boy who died fighting vampires.

"I asked if there are people not belonging to the tribe living in La Push or visiting it frequently. And he told me that in fact they have received a request from the University of British Columbia. An associate professor there, from the faculty of Anthropology, wishes to make some research on native languages - he's trying to figure out if Quileute is related to Wakashan or Salish or Eskimo-Aleut. He has asked to be allowed to live in La Push for some time."

"Great cover story," I murmured.

"Yes, it is. He has impeccable credentials, by the way. The Faculty Dean, among others. He needs to write a paper to get tenure, apparently. For the moment the Quileutes have not assented, saying that the elders have to decide on the matter. Of course he could be completely innocent, but nobody else fits the bill. There are no new people in La Push, nor are they expected, barring this one."

"Did they ask you how you knew about Demetri's plan?" In fact, it seemed to me there was no way she could have known of it. But Bella had thought of one.

"Well, it was awkward," she admitted, "but I told them that Alice had Seen it. Because, if I tell them about you, they won't take it well. I will have to tell Alice now, I hope you see I must. And she will try to predict the different outcomes, depending on if they decide to allow the spy in their midst and control him, or if they will just deny the request. She will call me today at the new number I have given Uncle Billy. Later today, or this evening, more probably."

Bella excused herself and went to change. When she emerged from her room in a very becoming blue pantsuit, I decided to try something, despite fearing a rebuff.

"It is past midday. Can I offer you lunch?"

"Oh, well, okay. I suppose you too are good at making believe you are eating." A shadow passed on her face – she was surely remembering her friends.

I was just happy she had accepted, though.

"Yes. I am past master at fake eating," I replied, smiling and offering her the spare helmet.

And so it happened that I rode towards North Manhattan with Bella behind me, hugging me tight. And it was divine. Once she had accepted me, she was extremely natural and unselfconscious.

I was self-conscious, though. The wonderful warmth of her form pressing on my back was warming me in turn, and setting my cold body on fire. An uncontrollable surge of desire made me hard. I slowed the bike speed, fearful to arrive and shame myself, once I was standing.

Fortunately, by the time we choose a restaurant, I had managed to subdue my unruly appendage. Hudson View seemed an upscale place, as those things go. And even if I could not enjoy the food, I could still appreciate the panorama. We were far enough north in Manhattan that we had a perfect view of the Palisades, across the Hudson River. The rocky cliffs here were unencumbered by urban development, which spoiled the landscape further south, so we got a complete vision of the craggy bluffs, harsh and beautiful.

My fake dining experiences around Wall Street had though me how to behave in places such as this one, and I always had a small plastic bag with me, to hide under my napkin. I ordered a very rare filet mignon – its smell was bearable – while Bella dug happily in her au meunière sole with creamed potatoes.

Seeing humans eat had always disgusted me, but now I looked at the morsels disappearing in Bella's mouth with longing, wishing her soft lips would consume me too. Needing some distraction from this inappropriate craving, I looked around. There was nobody sitting near enough to overhear our conversation, so I felt free to speak.

"Tell me, Bella," I asked, "how did it happen, how could a coven of vampires strike a friendship with werewolves?"

"Oh, they detested each other at the beginning, although there was a no aggression treaty in place between the Quileutes and the Cullens. It was agreed upon in the '30s or so, and both parties respected it. When the family was back again this time – the weather conditions in the Pacific North West are ideal for vampires - the respect of the treaty continued, and the younger members of the tribe started to shift. I didn't know of it, at first.

"But when the Cullens half-adopted me – I was still a minor when my dad died – uncle Billy was furious. Carlisle swiftly managed to do all the paperwork for having me into his foster care till my next birthday. Billy tried to oppose the decision, but of course Carlisle had such a high community standing that Billy could do nothing, considering my stated willingness to live with the Cullen family. The Social Services weren't keen at having me stay with an invalid and his teenage son in a tiny house. Jacob's sisters were not living with their dad anymore and surely a big house, a respectable doctor, his wife and two girls my own age for company – that was a much better option for them."

While listening to her with rapt attention, a part of my mind considered her cool assessment of social realities. Barely out of her teens, she was a mature young woman, capable of facing hard matters without flinching - including vampires and other monsters. From the one hand, she seemed made for me, from the other I was the worst thing that could have happened to her, and my growing interest had to remain undisclosed.

But Bella was going on with her tale.

"I was saddened to have lost the friendship of people I used to see every week - relatives, almost - but there was nothing I could do about it. I was captivated by the Cullens and after a while I felt I was truly loved and I loved them in turn. It was not only Alice, Esme was a wonderful mother, like my own never really was, and Carlisle became my rock, a treasure of gentle wisdom I could always rely on."

I flinched as a renewed pang of guilt constricted my chest, but Bella didn't notice it, so engrossed she was in her memories.

"After some time," she continued, "Jacob managed to seek me out – Alice couldn't See and prevent it – and I was able to convince him that I was in no danger, that nobody was going to kill or turn me into a vampire. He himself was bursting with news, and obviously the tribe's secret didn't need to be kept from me. His shape shifter gene had kicked in, so now he had joined the growing pack of wolves. That didn't make him happy at all, and he had refused the Alpha role that was his birthright. But he had also imprinted, on Leah Clearwater, and that made him very happy."

"Imprinted? What does it mean?" I asked, puzzled, thus learning something that made the shape shifters not so different from immortals, when it came to pairing. Only, I thought their way was better, I had already my doubts about the mating bond, but what made me truly envious was the possibility wolves had to stop shifting and to grow old with their chosen ones. To have a life… and then to have death. Eternal rest, peace… How I wished for it!

Then, remembering what Bella had said previously, I realized that the beautiful Quileute girl who had visited her had been this Jacob's imprint and had lost him.

"So, she is all alone now?" I asked.

"Yes, and this is the reason she has become Alice's guardian. Otherwise, to be far from her lover would have been impossible. She is also very grateful to the Cullens."

We were finally getting there.

"Why, what happened?" I prompted.

"Three nomads came to the Olympic Peninsula. Leah was in the woods with her little brother, Seth. Jacob wasn't far but, when the vampires attacked, the two looked alone, one of them little more than a child. Jacob heard her screams and phased, running to defend them. Obviously, being one against three, he succumbed. Then Leah phased too, but it was her first time and she wouldn't have been able to fight. Fortunately for them, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were hunting nearby, just near the treaty line, and they reached the place in time, not caring if they had to break the treaty to do that. Now the odds were even, and they managed to kill one of the nomads, while the other two ran away. Leah was seriously injured and Alice called Carlisle to help with her."

"When the rest of the pack arrived, they had to recognize that Leah and Seth were alive only because three vampires had chosen to save the innocents rather than side with their own species. It was a complete turnabout, which changed forever the relationship between the Cullens and the Quileutes. When it appeared that one of the escaped vampires, a female, hadn't really gone away, but was bent on revenge - with the somewhat unwilling help of the remaining nomad - the pack and the family held a war council, and decided to fight together."

I finally understood the story that had enraged my former masters, and Caius particularly. But once one realized that the Cullens lived according to other rules - human ethics, I would say - it made sense completely.

"The female was destroyed too, I believe."

"Yes," Bella said with satisfaction, "and she wasn't alone, she had created and trained – well almost - a few newborns to help her, but to no avail. They were all destroyed, but for her original other companion, who kept in the shadows and then fled the area completely. At least that is what Alice Saw after some time. He was hunting in New Orleans."

"Indeed, but he didn't keep his trap shut," I informed her, "and the story of an alliance between unnatural vampires and werewolves made its way to Volterra. So we were sent to the Olympic Peninsula, with orders to destroy the erring coven but to spare Alice, whom Aro coveted."

"Then it is even more important that I speak with Alice now. I wish that she would hurry up and call."

Yes, the impending call… I had something to ask.

"Please Bella, when you speak with Alice, can you ask her if she would meet me?"

"But why do you want to see Alice? She has plenty of reasons to hate and mistrust you."

I had an answer ready for that.

"Because I think I can tell her something that could free her of the Volturi."

True. But I should have added something else:

And because I want her to kill me.

Notes

Apart from Raum, who is my beloved first pre reader, special thanks go to Serendipitous/Meilleur Café, Eiluned Price and LJ Summers, who helped me to figure out the spy's cover story and other realistic details. Of course, each chapter is made better by Elena and Stefanie The Hobbit Ivy.