Author's Note.
So this chapter has been the BANE of my existence for the last week or so. I've rewritten it no less than three times...because I was never entirely happy with it. That being said, I'm 100% happy with how this version turned out and I hope you all can enjoy it - for what it is - a new update! Life is about to get insane from here on out with my second job starting in two weeks, 30+ hours at my main job next week and also volunteering is about to gear up. But do know that I'm working on the next chapter as much as I can!
I wish I could thank all of you by name who have left some beautiful reviews. I appreciate all of your support and hang tight - all will be fine - in time!
Again, much thanks to my mom and firewifesara for double checking the realism and such of this chapter. And making sure I didn't throw my computer out of the room.
And now...the show must go...all over the place or something!
Chapter 12
December 2022
Busy. She was trying to keep herself busy. She put Camden down for a nap after a quiet morning and was busy fluttering around the apartment trying to straighten things up. She was trying to keep herself from staring at the clock. Finn was due to arrive at any moment, she was almost on pins and needles with excitement. It had been a long few days, her fathers had left yesterday on an early morning flight and she'd been waiting ever since for Finn to arrive. Because of the snow storm, flights were packed and he would finally be getting in to town this afternoon. She finished wiping down her small kitchen table when the steady knock sounded on the door. Her heart began to pound in her ears as she quickly dropped the cloth in the sink and nearly sprinted to the front door. She slowed her steps as she neared the door and straightened out her purple top before reaching for the door.
Her heart thumped in her chest when she opened the door, and found Finn standing on the other side of her door, snow melting in his hair.
"Hi babe." He grinned as he looked at her.
"Finn." She sighed happily, her heart racing steadily. They stared at each other for a moment, each waiting for the other to make the next moment.
"Are you going to let me in?" He chuckled as he stood in the hallway, staring at her with a half smile on his face.
She shook her head, breaking herself from her trance. "Yeah. Sorry." She cleared her throat and let him into the apartment.
She watched him intently as he rolled his suitcase in behind him and shucked off his coat. He hung it on the hook next to her door before turning to look at her. She looked up at him as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as he looked down at her. He opened his arms and she launched herself at him, trying not to break into a sob. She had missed him so much, and even more so over the last few days. She felt a few tears come to her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. She breathed his scent in deeply, loving the usual smell that was so distinctly Finn. She clutched his sweater in her hand as she tightened her other hand around him.
Finn chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and bent to kiss her head.
"It's okay babe." He chuckled again. She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes glassy and filled with tears.
"Finn..." She whispered. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. She sighed against his mouth, allowing him to pull her flush against his body, his hands falling to her hips.
When they pulled away, his hands remained on her hips. He brushed her hair back from her forehead as he looked down at her. "I missed you so much." She bit her lip as she looked up at him. He gently tugged her lip from her mouth as he stared down at her.
"I missed you too babe." He smiled, before sweeping down and placing a soft kiss on her lips again, before wrapping his arms around her once more and burying his head in her neck. "I missed you so much."
They sat on the couch together after Finn brought his bag to her bedroom. He held a small, rectangular box in his hands.
"So, before Camden wakes up I wanted to give you this." He held up the box, wrapped carefully in silver wrapping paper.
"Finn..." She sighed softly. He held the box out to her. She gingerly took it and tore the silver paper. She looked up at him as she held the box in her hand.
"Open it." He said softly. She opened the box and gasped at what she saw inside. It was a simple, silver bracelet with a delicate chain, highlighted by a small infinity symbol at the center.
"It's beautiful." She whispered. She gently pulled it from the box and held it in her hand.
"Do you like it?"
"I love it." She smiled up at him. "Thank you babe. It's...it's gorgeous." She leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips. "Help me put it on?" He nodded and took the small piece of jewelry from her and helped her fasten it around her small wrist. He lifted her hand up to his mouth and placed a kiss where it rested.
"I saw it, and instantly thought of you." He said softly. "The infinity symbol represents us, in a way. How we've come back around to each other, even after all these years." He held her hand in his as he lifted his eyes to hers. "And how I will always be here for you. And for Camden. You guys...you're my world."
"Finn. That's...that's beautiful." She stumbled over her words as she leaned her head against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close.
"I mean it Rach." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I really wanted to be here..."
"Finn, you can't control the weather." She laughed slightly as she turned her body so she was facing him. She threw her leg over his lap so she was straddling his body. She placed her hands on his shoulders. "But if it's what you want to hear, I really wanted you here too. It was a long few days and I just...it would have been so much better with you here too. But you're here now and that's really all that matters." She smiled. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled into the kiss as their lips met. The kiss became heated, after a few minutes with Finn's hands coming to rest on her hips and playing with the edge of her top. "I missed you baby." He whispered as his lips moved from her lips to the crook of her neck. She sighed as he pulled her hips closer to his, his hands splaying over her backside as he pulled her into his lap more.
"Mammeeeeeee..." Rachel froze as Camden's voice filtered out into the living room. "Mammeeee..." Rachel groaned as she dropped her head into Finn's neck. His hands remained on her backside for a moment before raising a little to her back.
"You better go get the little man." Finn laughed as he rubbed her back.
"Yeah." She chuckled as she pulled herself out of his arms and got off his lap.
Finn watched as Rachel walked out of the living room and towards Camden's room. He leaned his head back on the couch and sighed. He smiled when he heard her happy voice traveling down the hallway and filtering into the living room. The squealing that was coming from the bedroom was soon followed by the familiar sound of Camden running down the hallway and into the living room as fast as his little legs would let him.
"INN!" He squealed when he saw Finn sitting on the couch. Finn grinned as Camden ran towards him and opened his arms as Camden launched himself at him. Finn caught him easily and hauled him up into his lap as Camden threw his arms around Finn's neck. "Inn!"
"Hi Pal!" Finn laughed as Camden let him go. Rachel walked into the scene, and her heart warmed when she saw Finn and Camden together.
"Mama, Inn!" He clapped his hands as he sat on Finn's knee.
"I see." She laughed as she walked into the room more, sitting down on the couch beside Finn. Camden snuggled into Finn's side as if he saw him every day. It made her heart leap almost out of her chest when she saw Camden and Finn huddled together. It was unreal to her, to see Camden warm so quickly to Finn. He'd taken a lot longer to warm to her fathers. She attributed that to the fact that she could and did Skype with Finn on a regular basis. So that was almost like seeing him all the time in person, right? As she looked at them, a feeling of calm absorbed her being. This is what life was supposed to be like.
Camden scrambled off of Finn's lap after a few minutes and ran to the shelf that held his books, before running back to him with the book Finn got him for Christmas in his hand. He plopped it on Finn's thigh as he looked up at him.
"Ead? Pease?" Camden blinked up at him innocently. Finn chuckled and hauled him up into his lap once more.
Rachel watched for a few minutes as Finn got into the Elmo story before standing up and leaving them alone to start dinner. She walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, her palms resting on the surface as Finn's voice filled the apartment. She took a couple deep breaths, trying to keep her emotions in check. She gave herself a minute, before moving to the freezer and pulling out a lasagna to throw in the oven. She was just pulling it out of the box when her son's giggle filled the apartment. She smiled when she heard his excited exclamations of 'gan Inn, 'gan!' before laughing again. She preheated the oven and stuck the lasagna in when it was ready, just as Camden came peeling into the kitchen with Finn right behind him. Camden grabbed her legs as he buried his face in her jeans as Finn stalked closer. His maniacal laugh as Finn approached him and grabbed him around his sides made Rachel chuckle.
"What is going on?" She laughed as Finn flipped Camden over his shoulder so that he was hanging upside down.
"Mama!" He squealed, trying to clap his hands together.
"Little stinker kept closing the book on me. Turned into a game." Finn laughed as he flipped Camden right side up as he giggled. "What you doing in here babe?"
"Starting dinner. Figured you guys would be hungry."
"Hungy!" Camden called. Rachel and Finn both laughed.
Finn placed Camden on his feet and they both watched as he took off towards the living room again. Finn turned his attention to Rachel as she leaned against the counter, looking at him. He walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She allowed her body to fall into his, taking comfort in the strong chest.
"Can I help you with anything?"
She shook her head against his shoulder. "No. Just have to wait for that to bake and I was just going to make a salad. That okay?"
"Sounds fantastic." He kissed her cheek before letting her go and following Camden into the living room. Rachel smiled as she heard Camden squeal.
That night, long after Camden had gone to bed and Finn had done the dishes, they sat in the living room each with a glass of wine on the couch. The quiet of the apartment enveloped them, the only noise was the TV which was playing the evening news. She leaned into Finn, sighing at how normal the scene felt to her. He played with the ends of her hair as they sat there before Finn broke the silence.
"So how was Nathan's visit the other day?" He asked softly. He brought his wine glass to his lips and took a sip. He noted that she tensed at the mention of Nathan's name.
She sighed. "There's nothing really to tell. He kind of just showed up. He called to say he'd be here and then next thing I know he's at my door. I wasn't really prepared for it." She looked down at her glass. He gently reached across and took the glass from her hand.
"Rach. Why did you let him in then?"
She leaned into him more, her hand coming to rest on his stomach. "I don't really know. I felt like I had no choice. We hadn't really made any solid plans. He's Camden's father."
Finn sighed. "That's not really a reason to let him walk all over you Rachel."
"You don't really understand." She shook her head as she sat up a little bit.
"Rachel." He sighed. "Make me understand then?"
She looked down at her hands, pausing before answering. "Do we have to talk about this tonight?" She whispered. "I just want to spend time with you..."
He looked down at her and studied her face for a moment. He leaned over and kissed her cheek softly.
"How about we watch a movie?" He offered, reaching for her glass of wine and handing it to her. She accepted it and watched as he reached for his own and took a sip. She drank the last sip down before placing the empty glass on the floor. She reached over and pulled his face to hers, placing a soft kiss on his lips. She nipped at his lip as the kiss escalated, their lips moving hungrily against each others. When he finally pulled away when the urge to breath became too real, he had a goofy half smile on his face.
"Or we could go to bed." She whispered as she grinned back at him.
"Who said we need to go to bed." He maneuvered their bodies so that she was laying flush against the couch as she pulled him on top of her. She giggled as he dropped on top of her and proceeded to attack her neck with kisses.
Finn was the first one to hear Camden the next morning. He rolled over and waited a beat to see if Rachel would wake too. When she didn't, he rolled out of bed and reached for his boxers before shuffling through his suitcase to find his pajamas. When he was dressed, he walked out of the room and padded quietly to Camden's room. He opened the door slowly and found the little boy standing up in his crib, his fingers in his mouth as he stared at the door.
"Hey Pal." He smiled gently as he walked closer to the crib. Camden immediately raised his hands above his head, in a signal for Finn to pick him up. He hoisted him out of the crib and
Camden immediately curled into Finn. "You sleep good?"
Camden nodded against Finn's chest. "Good." Finn chuckled as they walked out of the bedroom. "Mamee?" Camden blinked.
Finn held his finger to his mouth. "Shh. Mommy's still sleeping. Want to help me make breakfast?"
"Befast?"
"Yeah. You hungry Pal?"
He nodded again. "Pacakes?"
"You want pancakes? Do you think Mommy would like pancakes too?"
"Mama pacakes."
Finn laughed. "Alright. We'll make Mommy pancakes." He brought Camden into the kitchen with him and collected the ingredients one by one before placing Camden on the counter. Camden clapped his hands as he helped Finn pour the mix into the bowl. When the mix was made, he poured a little bit onto the hot griddle to make a pancake quickly for Camden. When it was finished, Finn carried Camden to his high chair and gave him some milk while they waited for the pancake to cool. When it was, he cut it up for Camden to eat while he made a couple more for Rachel. While Camden ate and the other pancakes cooked, he cut up some fruit he found in the fridge before making her a cup of coffee. He smiled to himself as he made her coffee, listening to Camden happily babbling to himself. When it was all ready, he found a tray to set it all on.
"Alright Pal, ready to bring Mommy breakfast?" Camden clapped his hands. Finn helped Camden out of his high chair. Camden looked up at Finn as he grabbed the tray. Camden
walked ahead of him towards Rachel's room, and together they pushed open the door. Finn smiled when he saw Rachel snuggled under the blanket.
"Mama!" Camden clapped his hands as he ran to the bed. "Mama pacakes!" Finn laughed as he watched Camden run around to Rachel's side of the bed and tugged on her blanket. He clapped his hands when Rachel finally stirred, sitting up in bed while yawning.
"Good morning." She smiled when she caught Finn's eye. He held up the tray and leaned over to hand it to her, before hauling Camden up on the bed.
"Mama, pacakes!" He clapped his hands.
"Did you make pancakes?" Finn got on the bed beside her and stole a piece of orange that he had peeled.
"Inn pacakes." Camden giggled.
"You helped Finn make pancakes?" Camden nodded. Rachel looked over at Finn and smiled. She puckered her lips and he leaned over to place a kiss on her lips.
"You didn't have to do this." She smiled as she picked up the knife and fork and cut into the pancakes. She shared a few pieces with Camden to keep him occupied.
"I know I didn't. But I wanted to spoil my girl" He kissed her cheek. "Plus I heard Cam so..." He shrugged.
"Thank you." She smiled, popping another piece of pancake into her mouth. "I must have been tired, I didn't even hear him."
Finn winked at her before wiggling his eyebrows, causing her to laugh.
"You're terrible." She chuckled as he snuck a piece of her pancake. Camden clapped as he grinned.
When they finished breakfast, Finn took the breakfast tray out to the kitchen to tidy up while both Rachel and Camden got dressed for the day. He made himself a coffee as he stood at the window in her living room, looking out onto the street.
"You look like you're thinking deep over there." Rachel smiled as she came into the room, Camden tucked on her hip.
"Just thinking about what we should do today. It looks like it's nice out. He ever been tobogganing? " Finn looked down at her, a glint in his eye. Rachel gave him a skeptical look.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Tobogganing Finn? He's a baby." She leaned over and kissed his head for effect.
"C'mon Rach. We can get him a little sled and pull him around. I bet he would love it. We could even find a small hill. Doesn't that sound like fun pal?"
"Un. Yay!" He clapped his hands. Both Finn and Rachel chuckled.
"Alright. I guess you convinced me. That does sound like a fun time. But if it's too..."
"...cold we'll come inside. We won't go far." He chuckled, finishing her thought. "It'll be great. I promise."
She smiled at him. "I'm sure it will." She chewed her lip as she looked down at Camden.
"We'll bundle him up good." He assured, knowing where her thoughts were going.
They were just getting ready to head out, Rachel had taken Camden back to his room to get a diaper change and into a few more layers of clothes, when a knock sounded at the door.
"Are you expecting anyone?" He called down the hallway as he slipped his hoodie over his head.
"No. But can you see who it is please babe?" She called from Camden's room.
"Yeah, I got it. I got it." He chuckled as he walked towards the front door. Another knock sounded when he reached the door. "Jeez, I'm coming man." He laughed as he opened the door. Nathan stood on the other side of the door, poised to knock on the door once more. "Um...hello?"
"Who are you?" Nathan answered back, no hello, nothing. "Where's Rachel?"
"Um...I could ask you the same question. Rachel's with Camden." He scratched the back of his neck.
"Babe, who's at the..." Rachel came into the entry way of the apartment and stopped dead when she saw who Finn was talking to. "...door."
Finn turned to look at Rachel as she came to stand beside him. Camden wrapped his legs around her tightly and buried his head in her shoulder. Finn didn't miss that. Finn stuck out his hand to the man in front of him, knowing immediately who he was looking at without introduction. "I'm Finn, Rachel's boyfriend. You must be Nathan."
"Camden's father." Nathan added as he stuck out his hand and gave Finn a firm handshake. Finn tried not to groan outwardly. Nathan stepped forward and looked at Rachel. "I'm here to see my son." Finn felt his fists clench at his sides. Rachel reached out and touched his arm, causing him to relax a little.
"Nathan, now's not really a good time. We were just about to head out..." Finn could detect the wobble in her voice. "You should have called first..."
"I'm here to see my son." He responded, his voice tight. Finn moved to step between Rachel and Nathan. He didn't miss Camden curling deeper into Rachel's arms. "Camden, Daddy's here!" Finn watched as he placed what he could tell was a fake smile on his face as he looked at the little boy. Camden didn't even acknowledge him.
"Wuss." He mumbled. "Are we going to just stand here? I'd like to see him..." Finn watched as Rachel immediately stood back as if to let him into the apartment. Finn didn't budge.
"Finn..." She hissed, reaching for his hoodie. "Come on." She tugged him out of the way as best as she could. Camden whined from her arms.
"Rachel." He hissed back. Camden looked up at him with big eyes, his fingers in his mouth. Against his better judgement, he moved out of the way and Nathan walked into the apartment. Rachel walked to the living room and Finn followed directly behind her, trying to keep a distance between her and Nathan.
When she sat on the couch, she purposefully sat in the middle and each man flanked her side. Camden whined in her arms and turned his body so he was facing Finn.
"You can let the boy down Rachel, I'm not going to bite." Nathan joked, leaning forward on his legs. She tensed when he spoke. She went to move him off her lap, but Camden whined and clung harder.
"I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do." She answered quietly.
"No wonder he's such a wuss." Nathan commented. "He's never going to learn anything if you keep babying him."
"I'm not babying him. He has special..."
"Needs. I know you keep telling me that. But all I see is you babying him too much. Unless you count the fact that he's tiny as hell and his eyes..."
"I think you need to leave." Finn sat up further, and looked over at Nathan.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to see my son." He snapped, before turning his attention to Rachel. "Where's the iPad? Or have you kept that for yourself..." He smirked, looking over to see the confused look on Finn's face. "What, she didn't tell you? I bought MY son an iPad for Christmas."
Finn waited until Nathan's eyes were focused elsewhere to roll his eyes. Rachel eventually coaxed Camden off of her lap by sitting on the floor with him. Nathan followed, while Finn stayed on the couch observing.
He watched as Rachel tensed when Nathan sat closer to her. He immediately took the iPad from her, and pressed a few buttons to get it started. He thrust it at Camden who didn't take it from him immediately. He stared at the device for a good few minutes, sticking his fingers in his mouth as he touched the screen hesitantly with his other one.
He giggled tentatively when something happened on the screen, looking up at Rachel with a smile on his face before turning back.
"See. He likes it." Nathan smirked.
Rachel pulled her legs inward and leaned against the couch below Finn. She looked up at him for a moment and blew him a kiss. He smiled gently at her, leaning over and placing his hands on Rachel's shoulders. He squeezed gently as Camden looked up at both of them, smiling slightly.
But Camden was soon bored by the iPad. He dropped it next to him before getting up and crawling over to the toy box that was just behind them.
"What's he doing?" Nathan asked, eyeing him critically. "Why is he crawling?"
"When he doesn't have to go far, he'll crawl. He gets there faster and it's what he's used to." She answered quietly. Finn squeezed her shoulders again.
"He should be walking. No child who's three should be crawling still." He scoffed.
"He's not three. Yet. You should know that." Finn snapped. Nathan looked up at Finn.
"Was I talking to you?'
"You weren't. But when you're rude to my girlfriend and her son, you're talking to me too."
Camden picked up the puzzle that Finn had gotten him for Christmas and turned around, grinning at Finn. "Inn! Inn!" He giggled, toddling over to whe re Finn was sitting on the couch. "Inn, puzzle!" He dropped it on his knees. "Puzzle, pease?"
"Absolutely Pal." Finn grinned. He slid off the couch and sat down on the floor, pulling Camden onto his lap. Camden clapped and took the puzzle from Finn, dumping it before grinning at Rachel.
"Where does the C go Pal?" Finn held up the piece and showed Camden. He looked intently at the board, before looking at the piece in Finn's hand. He took the piece gently from him and brought it to the board, finding the space.
"Yay!" He clapped his hands, looking up at Finn.
"Good job Pal." Finn kissed the top of his head as Camden reached over to find another piece.
"Congratulations, you've figured out how to put together a child's puzzle. Whatever will he do next?" Nathan snorted.
Finn's head snapped to attention.
"You know what? I've had enough. I think it's time for you to go." He gently moved Camden off his lap. The little boy instantly whined, but settled when Rachel reached over and pulled him into hers. Finn stood up and glared down at Nathan who was still content to sit on the floor. "It's time for you to go." He repeated.
"I will go when I damn well please. And I'm not finished seeing my son." He smirked.
Finn could feel his temper flaring. His eyes diverted to Rachel's for a moment, who looked up at him, her eyes wide. He knew she wasn't going to do anything to get in the middle about what he could feel was brewing, the hold she had on Camden told him that.
"I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. You're time is up, you need to get up and leave." Finn towered over Nathan as he stared down at him. Finn made sure to angle his body so he was standing in front of Rachel and Camden. He heard her shuffle and stand up behind him. "Now Nathan." His voice came out a lot gruffer than he had intended, and he heard Camden whining behind them.
Nathan scrambled to his feet and stood in front of Finn. He moved his head around him for a moment, staring at Rachel. "Can't you quiet that kid? Why is he ALWAYS whining?"
"Do NOT speak to her that way. You are not welcome here right now." Finn stood in front of her more. He heard her retreat towards the bedrooms. "Go. NOW."
"You know, you think you're some big shot. Swooping in here, taking "care" of her one weekend at a time. But we all know who's really providing for them. I can give her what they really need - money. Financial support."
Finn tried to control his temper. He stared at Nathan, who standing up was just shy of his own height.
Finn's nostrils flared. "I support her and Camden. I support them. And that doesn't necessarily mean throwing a pile of money at them because it's convenient." He paused. "Kids don't need money. They need love and..."
Nathan scoffed. "But money can buy him all the help he needs." He leaned closer to Finn. "And we both know he needs a lot of help."
Finn snapped. "Stay away from my family. Leave. NOW."
"I'll leave. But this isn't over." Nathan walked away from Finn, before turning to look at him. "We all know what she'll choose in the end."
He opened the front door and Finn slammed it behind him, locking it immediately. The wall rattled with the force that he slammed it with.
He felt all his anger rise as he stared at the closed, wooden door. He leaned against it and pulled at his hair, trying not to let his anger overtake him.
"Did he leave?" He felt his back tense as Rachel's voice met his ears. He turned around to find her standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. He allowed a small smile to play on the corner of his lips, his anger slipping as he looked at his girl.
"Yeah. He's gone." He took a step forward, coming closer to Rachel. He moved to put his arms around her waist and pull her towards him, but was met with her resistance. She didn't uncross her arms to wrap them around him like he figured she would.
"What's wrong?" He ran his hands up and down her arms as he looked at her. She arched an eyebrow as she looked at him. "Did I do something wrong?"
"You know what you did." She stated, pulling herself from his grasp.
"Babe..." He sighed, moving his hands to his hair and pulled.
"You were out of line Finn." She said softly.
"Out of line? Rachel, did you not hear what he was saying? Did you just happen to miss the comments he was making about Camden?" She bit her lip as she looked at him. "You can't tell me that all of that was okay..."
"It's not." She said simply. "But you didn't have to react that way either. I was handling it."
"Handling it? Rachel, you were just sitting there...quietly letting him belittle your son and his disabilities."
She looked down at her feet. "You don't understand Finn."
"You keep saying that!" His voice rose as he looked at her. "You keep telling me that I don't get it but you're doing nothing to make me understand! What is going on in that head of yours Rachel? Because whatever it is...it's ass fucking backwards."
"He's Camden's father."
"That's right. He's his father. Some father he's been. Where has he been, Rachel? Did he even tell you?" He stared down at her. "Or did you just roll over when he handed you the check?"
"Finn..."
"No, tell me Rachel. What makes him so special? He's Camden's father, sure. But here's the thing. To me being a father takes a little more than cutting a check as a way of apologizing for skipping town when shit got rough."
"Finn..."
"Don't say I don't understand." He held up his hand in front of her. "I'm your boyfriend Rachel. Excuse me if I think that's supposed to mean something. Make me understand what kind of stupid line of thinking is going through your head about all of this...because from here, it looks like you're just being dumb about it all."
"You want to know? Want to know so bad? Fine. I'll tell you. " She stomped her foot as she looked at him, her own anger building to a crescendo while tears floated to the corners of her eyes. "He...he left." Her voice quieted. "He walked out and I have never, ever felt worse. I was terrified. I was alone, really alone for the first time in my entire life with this...this baby growing inside of me who depended on me for everything. And he walked out because he wasn't going to be able to play baseball with him the way he had envisioned."
Finn's heart flipped as he watched her. "So I'm sorry...that when he walked into the apartment a month ago, promising help and support and showing some sort of interest in my son...that I just rolled over and took it. Because ALL I've ever wanted is for my son to be acknowledged by his father. Is that too much to ask?"
"Helping is not throwing money and expensive toys at a child who doesn't really understand what any of it really means..."
"He's his father. I need to give him a chance."
"He's not his father! He's merely a sperm donor." Finn stabbed. "Money doesn't solve everything. How can you be so...so..."
"So what? Materialistic? Passive? What word are you looking for Finn? Because EXCUSE me for wanting to provide a better life for my son. And if his father is FINALLY willing to help..."
"I'll help you! Name it and I can..."
"That's NOT the point Finn!" She stomped her foot again, her voice rising. "This is why I didn't want to get into this with you."
"You didn't want to get into this because you were afraid that I was going to tell you the truth." He pulled at his hair, trying to control the rising anger. "You know that I'm right about this and about Nathan."
"You're wrong. You don't know him. You're wrong."
"Why are you defending him? He LEFT you Rachel. You just said that. He left you at the most vulnerable time of your life. And you let him just walk in here like nothing happened..."
"Kind of like I did with you?"
Finn's jaw dropped. "We are not talking about you and I." He stared down at her for a moment, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Before another word could be spoken, he turned on his heel and walked out to the entry way of the apartment.
Rachel felt her heart race as she watched him leave the room. She stood frozen for a moment, before shaking herself of her daze and following him.
"Finn..." She felt herself saying, but she didn't recognize her voice. It was so different from moments ago, more fragile - the anger she felt was dissipating by the second as fear quickly turned into panic. She found him shoving his arms into his jacket. "Where are you going?" When he didn't respond, instead reaching for his phone and typing out a text, she asked him again.
"I'm going to Kurt's." His voice sounded drawn, defeated.
"What?" She breathed. "Finn...please, don't. Please don't go." The tears pooled in the corner of her eyes, spilling over onto her cheeks. "Please."
"Rachel." He turned to look at her. "I just..." He took a step towards her, but didn't reach for her. "I just need to clear my head. I...yeah." He stumbled over his words as his phone buzzed in his hand. He leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on the side of her head before turning and walking out of the apartment, closing the door gently behind him.
As the door closed, Rachel felt all of her resolve break as her knees hit the cold linoleum of her floor. She could no longer hold back, and the sob that burst forth wracked her entire body.
He sat on the couch in Kurt's apartment, his head in his hands.
"You should call her. Text her. So she knows you're here safe." Kurt suggested softly. He stared at his brother for a long moment. "Just a suggestion."
"You're right." His voice was tight, hoarse. He had spent the entire cab ride to Kurt's thinking about all of the hurtful words he had spewed at Rachel. In turn, the words that Nathan had thrown out came to mind as well. His blood froze at both thoughts. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed the number he had come to know by heart.
She picked up on the first ring, and he could hear Camden babbling in the background. He didn't miss the sad tone in her voice.
"Rach." He said softly. "I'm at Kurt's. I'm fine." He paused. "I'll be back later. Yeah. I promise." He clicked end on the phone and looked at Kurt, who had just come back into the living room with a cup of hot cocoa in each hand.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked softly. Finn rubbed his face for a moment before divulging to Kurt everything that had happened this morning between him, Rachel and Nathan. When he was finished, he felt Kurt's eyes boring into the side of his face. His eyes felt heavy and his throat felt thick. He felt terrible.
They were quiet for a few moments before Kurt spoke.
"You love her, don't you?" He asked softly.
Finn leaned his head back on his brothers couch for a moment, taking a second to collect himself as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, he leaned forward and looked at his brother. "Yeah. I do. Camden too."
She mechanically went through the motions after she got off the phone with Finn. She fed Camden lunch and read him a few stories to keep him calm. She could tell that he knew something was wrong. He was clingy and agitated and if she was being honest, when nap time arrived she was a little relieved. Except once he was asleep in his crib, she had nothing to distract her. She walked out into the living room and collapsed on her couch, face down. But she didn't cry. She had no more tears to shed. Instead she felt empty, her heart ached and her eyes burned. She felt terrible about the way she had acted, and her only reprieve was knowing that Camden was still a little too young to understand any of the words that had been thrown around. But it didn't mean that the words didn't still bounce around in her head. Deep in her heart, she knew Finn was right. She had let Nathan in too easily. But could she really be blamed? She had spent the last almost 3 and a half years wishing, hoping and praying that Nathan would come back and finally realize what he was missing out on. But as it turned out, maybe Camden wasn't missing out on much at all.
She didn't realize it, but she fell asleep on the couch. Her emotions and heartache caught up with her, her exhaustion won out and lulled her to sleep. She wasn't sure how long she had been sleeping, but a tentative knock on the door woke her up. She sat up disoriented for a few minutes, blinking as she focused her eyes on the clock in front of her just as another knock sounded. She got up and shuffled to the front door, running a hand through her tangled hair. She opened the door and found Finn on the other side of the door, looking at the floor. Her heart pounded as she looked at him standing there, his hair messy and his head down. He looked up at her and their eyes met.
"Rach." His voice whispered. She stepped back and let him into the apartment, all the while keeping her eyes trained on him.
"Finn...I..." Her voice caught in her throat as he shrugged his coat off before opening his arms to her. She bit her lip for a moment before wrapping her arms around his waist and allowing herself to be engulfed by his embrace. She buried her head in his chest as she felt him place a few soft kisses on her head. She looked up at him, his amber eyes staring down at her.
"I'm sorry." They both whispered at the same time.
Finn raised his hand to her cheek, brushing at the tear tracks that had dried on her cheek.
"I'm sorry Rach. I was out of line and I shouldn't have said some of the things..."
She shook her head. "No. Some of the things were true. I guess I just need to give my head a shake."
Finn sighed, pulling her closer to him. "I just worry about you guys. And I really don't like Nathan."
She sighed. "I know. But I have to give him a chance. I just need you to understand that."
"I do." He paused. "I just wish you didn't have to. He doesn't seem genuine to me."
She bit her lip before leaning up on her toes and placing a kiss on his jaw. "Not everyone can be like you Finn."
Finn allowed a smile to play at the corners of his lips before pulling into another strong hug.
Thoughts?
