so i've finally managed to push aside the rest of ... the mess that has been invading my life, and just get down and real with this prompt. ugh, honestly though? if you don't understand it, neither do i.

charlieviolet; i can't make you love me

as requested by ColorM

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Gentle doesn't suit her, she growls out; but that's what he is with her, anyways.

She could chalk it up and just say that the numbskull is thick in the head and pretty much an ignorant fool, especially towards everything that is about her, and really, she should just find the space and skips and plans an escape every time he comes even remotely close that she can actually memorise him by the sound of the way the grass scrunches up every time he takes a step (which is just plain weird), but it's just - she doesn't.

She doesn't, and it scares her that sometimes she shakes for hours like helpless leaves in an extreme weather when he touches her (oh-so-gently) like ghosts of a pale winter over her skin; when he's smiling that shows off his dimples that she secretly adores and shines more than her biggest medals; when he's just looking at her like - like - like she's the star and the universe and even the bad things like war and destruction, and somehow, in his eyes, she could almost admit that she feels really - well, beautiful.

And this fact - may it be hideously bewitching - clenches on her stomach like a twisted hook that pulls on her inside out, upside down and just leaves her bare and naked and exposed, and sometimes it feels nice but she can't shake off the feeling that this is not real, that he's not actually there, that everything will break and crumble - and this nice, warm feeling washes off like dirt on clean fabric, and every little good thing about him becomes very, very bad.

She doesn't say it's fear. She doesn't say it's insecurity. She says it's him.

"You can't make me love you," she scoffs, like it's the most obvious thing in the whole world and silently cries for him to call her up on her act (because who is she really kidding? He's the best thing to happen in her life), and adds how he's being dumb to even think that she likes him, because she doesn't (what a fucking lie) and how boring he is; "And gentle. You know how I hate that. I'm tough and rough, and that's the only way to win. I don't need you and your pretty face and stupid words; I'm here to be a champion. Not to fool around."

And she left him like that; pretend she isn't effected with how he doesn't reach his hands out anymore to touch her - or all-smiling with those dimples - or look at her like she's the most perfect (broken and all) thing in the whole wide world; she left him with one sentence that she's sure will make him give up on her, on everything.

That he can't make her love him; because being gentle just isn't cutting it - and she's just isn't cut for any of these.