A Rancher's Touch

Chapter 12

The next day came and went and before I knew it, it was Monday, and time to go back to work. Although, when I had woken up Sunday morning, I had felt like hell. I had a horrible hangover to deal with and a splitting headache. Never would I trust Whitt to order a drink for me again. That, and I'd stick to staying back at the bunk house on Saturday nights instead of going out. If I have to, I'll stick with sitting outside on the porch in the cold night air, my jacket wrapped around myself. Either that or I'd sit in the barn and talk with Crooks like I did every now and then. Either way, I wouldn't be going back out with them for a drink again, and that was that.

"Hey, Kingston!"

"Oh great," I groaned.

It was Curley and he was headed straight for me.

"What do you want?" I asked in agitation.

"Oh, well, I guess you don't want your mail then," he said in annoying tone.

"Give it here," I stated, holding my hand out.

He just grinned at me as he held it up, ripping it down the middle a moment later, before walking off laughing. I swear, he'd become more of an ass now that his wife was gone. Then again, I suppose it was to be expected as he tried to deal with it, but that didn't mean that I liked being at the receiving end of it.

"Jerk," I grumbled, bending down to pick it up.

I then pulled the letter from the torn envelope, opening it and resting the pieces next to one another. My lips parted at what I saw, my eyes watering a bit.

"George…" I whispered, a small smile tugging at my lips.

Chris,

I made it out alright. I'm in Fresno now, even found a job. I suppose I should be happy, now I can finally hold a job if I want to, but I'm not. I found your letter after I got settled in. I'm just sorry that I couldn't stick around longer and get to know you better. I have to admit, it would have been nice. I've decided to take your advice though, to get that place. It's in Selma, but it's nice. I sent them a letter. It's all set. I'm just waiting for Candy now I guess. So, I suppose that'll be any day now, right? The month is about at an end. I probably wouldn't have been able to do all this without your help, so thank you. You really do have a heart of gold Chris and that's something special. I may not be good at words, but at least I can write. What you did for me, it meant a lot and I'll never forget it. I can honestly say, no one has ever been that kind. So thank you, thank you for everything.

Your friend,

George Milton

I stood there, my eyes spotty. He was safe, I'd done my job. I also knew that he'd never forget. It also made me happy, knowing that he was going to keep trying, that he'd settle down in that place he wanted. It made me sad though because I knew that meant Candy would also be leaving then, heading toward Selma.

Again, I felt something tugging at heart, a pain of sorts. I wasn't sure what it was, but it still hurt. Perhaps it was envy. Now, George would finally be able to get away from everything and be happy. He'd be able to have something normal, something solid, something that was his. Me, I didn't have that, I didn't have any of that. Sure, I had Slim on my side, his company. I wouldn't have that forever though. I'd leave in another month or two probably like I always did. Either that or I'd be canned because of Curley. If that happened, I wouldn't be around him anymore. Hell, I had a feeling things wouldn't last passed another month and then I'd be alone again like I always was. All I had was an empty road ahead of me with nothing to look forward to. Nothing to hold onto save for my memories.

"Chris?" it was Slim.

"Y-yeah?" I choked out, turning around to look at him.

"Somethin wrong?" he asked, placing a hand on my arm.

That's when his eyes caught sight of my letter, leaning over to read it. A small smile formed on his face afterwards.

"He made it alright. That's great," he smiled.

"Yeah," I whispered, trying my best to mirror his smile.

"That's not the problem though, is it?" he asked, picking up on my sadness.

I shook my head, running a hand through my hair with a sigh.

"No, it's not…"

"Why don't you come with me," he suggested, placing a hand on my back.

I followed him as he led me toward the barn, helping me inside. It gave us a bit of privacy away from prying eyes like Curley or others that might poke fun.

"Now, why don't you tell me what's goin on?" Slim suggested, leaning up against one of the beams.

I just sat down on the pile of grain filled bags, placing my head in my hands for a moment.

"I'm happy for him, I really am," I told him, looking up from my hands.

"But?"

"But…I feel like I'll never get to where he is…" I whispered, raking a hand into my hair, gripping it lightly.

I heard him sigh as I sat there, feeling a weight beside me a moment later.

"That you'll never have a happy life somewhere, is that it?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

"Yeah…" I nodded, letting loose a sigh. "I don't want to be stuck doing this my entire life," I said, gesturing around me.

"No one does," he breathed. "Heck, if I thought I could get out of this place, I would," he told me.

"But you can Slim," I told him. "I mean, what am I gonna do? I'm a woman for crying out loud. No one takes me seriously," I sighed.

He knew it was true, just like I did. Men could do anything they wanted, get any job they wanted, but what about me. No, I was a woman, limited on everything. Not to mention, I'd be damned if I ended up working in a cathouse. That was out of the question for sure.

"It's only going to be a matter of time and then I'm outta here, just like every other time," I whispered, laying my head in my arms. "I've been doing this for eight years now Slim…I'm tired of it."

"And when that happens, you'll be missed greatly," Slim said, giving my shoulder a light squeeze.

"How have I gotten by without you all these years?" I asked, turning to look at him.

He just chuckled, ruffling my hair a bit.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for Chris," Slim said. "I got a question for ya though."

"Yeah?"

He paused for a moment before speaking, his chin resting in the palm of his hand.

"Say he'd asked you to go with him, would you have done it?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly.

"You know what I mean Chris. I've been around for a while, so I know when I see people spark an interest with one another, when they click," he told me.

I just looked down at my hands, twiddling my thumbs for a moment.

"I don't know, maybe," I shrugged.

"Chris, I've seen how you are around me, it was the same thing with him. We both know that doesn't happen often," he chuckled.

"Leave me alone. I don't trust easily and you know that," I whined, feeling my face heat up.

"You know Whitt'd be worse," he smiled.

I grimaced at this, knowing how true his statement was. Whit would be ten times worse about it. Not to mention, I had a feeling he'd caught on to things a while back, apparently picking up on something that I hadn't. Either that or he was just trying to be a serious pain in the butt.

"Don't remind me," I groaned, before standing up.

"Well, we should probably head back outside before we get canned," he joked, standing up, before throwing an arm over my shoulders.

From there, he led me back outside and toward the bunk house, a few of the others already inside.

"Hey, Slim, do you mind if I stay out here for a while?" I asked.

"Sure, just come in before it gets dark out?" he asked, knowing that I had a habit of staying outside later than I should.

"Alright."

T

I'm sorry to say that I didn't exactly listen, but what did he expect, I liked looking up at the stars. It was something that gave me peace of mind at times because I knew they'd always be there, they'd always last, and they'd never change.

That's what I thought about as I sat outside, George's letter gripped in my hands as I thought things through. I had to have read it at least several times over by now. It really hit me and left me thinking what I'd end up doing with my life. No matter how much I liked Slim, I couldn't stay here for the rest of my life. I couldn't keep going from ranch to ranch for the rest of my life either. I felt stuck.

"I can't keep doing this," I whispered, running a hand through my hair.

I'd go stir crazy if I was left to do this all of my life. Getting up early, going out to the fields, moving barley bags and other things. Eventually, I'd lose my sanity, and that would be it. That just wasn't something that I wanted to do. I mean sure, it'd like be a couple more years or more before I was able to do anything else, but still. I mean, wasn't eight years of my life enough? I'd been dressed as a man for nearly a third of my life; it was time for me to be seen as woman. Not that I minded dressing the way that I did, it was the hiding that bothered me, having to hide my identity just to get a job. That was another reason that I had started going by Chris a few years ago instead of Christine. They see Christine Kingston on the work slip, you might as well throw it away and say the hell with it. Now, if they see Chris Kingston, you might have a chance. I was tired of having to rely on that.

"Chris?"

I turned my head toward Slim's voice, watching as he stepped outside, his tall figure standing on the porch. How I would miss his face when I left. His charming smile and honest nature, everything that was Slim, I would miss. So, with a final look at the sky I stood, walking back toward the porch where he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. This man was my friend and our friendship would always stand.

Alright, that was chapter 12. Chris finally heard back from George and realization seems to hit her to a degree. The end of this chapter was foreshadowing for the next. So, I'm guessing you can figure out what happens next. Anyway, don't forget to REVIEW and MESSAGE me with your thoughts, opinions, ideas, and feelings on this chapter/ story. I LOVE hearing FEEDBACK for my stories. It's makes me happy and keeps me writing. Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm starting chapter 13 as I speak, so keep an eye out and it should be up shortly today. Thanks everyone!