You people wanted long chapters, this is the longest one i have written in my damn life!!! so enjoy!!!!

and by the way, this, i think, Is The Funniest Chapter Ever!!!!!!!


EPOV

"Edward, listen, you can't just stay there all day, feeling bad for yourself." Jasper said, as I switch channel once again. I had the feeling I had been watching T.V. in while now, though I had no idea.

"Common move it dude!" Em yelled. I flinched a little at his loud voice. Didn't he know that I wasn't in a mood to be yelled at?

Carlisle and Esme were sitting across the room, and watching me intently. I knew they had noticed by now that I wasn't going to suicide myself, but I think that they thought that if they left, they might not get to see me actually doing something with my life.

I don't think it was going to happen, but I felt to lazy to tell them.

"Emmett, be nice to Edward!" Esme yelled. Did I tell you how much I love my mother? Really, I could see in their worried eyes that they cared for me more than any adopted parents could.

Wow. That was poetic.

" Ok, sorry Edward," Emmett said. "So let me rephrase: do you mind moving your butt from there and actually doing something productive!"

Ok, Emmett's mad. Not good. But I wasn't going to do anything about it. Why? Because I don't feel like it.

"Please stop yelling," I whispered. If he didn't hear it, I wasn't going to repeat. I was too tired. I hadn't slept for three days because of my Bella.

She maybe wasn't my Bella, but in my mind, where no one could come in, I was going to fantasize as much as I wanted. I just wasn't going to say it out loud.

Ben started pacing in front of the T.V., blocking my view. I frowned. I actually managed to frown!!!

But, yah, I know, that's how down I have become.

"Maybe we should go out, you know, do crazy guy stuff together." Ben proposed. "Like, I don't know, burp in public places, eat all the little food samples in the grocery stores and use our powers to freak people out a little… or a lot." I had to smile at this. Ben was doing his best.

Carlisle glared at Ben for having such ideas, and the guys smirked. When Esme saw I liked the idea (a little) she beamed.

"Common Carlisle, if it makes Edward feel better?" she said. She really was a great mother. When he saw my smile I tried so hard to hide, he sighed and nodded. Before I could say a word, the guys had pushed me to the car and soon we were driving to the shopping mall.

I tried to tell them I rather stay home, but they told me it was for the best, and that if we were able to stay out of trouble at eight years old while doing stupidities like we were about to, then we would still be able.

That was the thing. The last time I actually burped or farted in presence of people, I was probably still wearing diapers, or close to that anyway. And the worst thing in this, it could actually be fun and I was looking forward to it.

APOV

Oh, shoot! I was going to call Bella to see if she was okay, but I must have forgot my cell phone at home. Oh well! Vision time! I concentrated very hard, and slowly images slowly filled my head.

I had left my phone on the little table in our living room, next to the coach. I saw Bella walking in the room, looking very panicked. She saw my cell, and suddenly the alarm in her eyes changed to amusement. She took my cell, and seconds later, almost dropped it.

I knew what she saw. She probably went to see my contacts and saw Edward's name. But why did she look in there? Anyway, I had to see the rest!!!

She was watching the T.V. with a sad expression. Than slowly, so slowly a turtle would have won the race, she pick up my cell, and opened it.

The vision changed.

I was floating over her shoulder, and I almost choked. She pressed each key one by one slowly, spelling his name, and pressed on send. And before I could see if Edward answered it…

The vision changed again. No! Not now!

Four very handsome boys, covered in soap, were walking through the mall we were in, laughing their heads off. I knew them. Of course I did, they were the guys. Jasper, the usually calm one, bends to the side and grabbed a handful of fries from the plate of a women passing by. He ate them, while the lady looked astonished, and the boys laughed some more.

The image finally disappeared.

Angela shook my shoulder. "Alice, are you all right? What did you see?" Rose and Angel looked at me, curious. I just shook my head. I had no idea what I had seen anyway.

EPOV

We arrived pretty early at the mall, and not a lot of people were there. Well, this could be fun, what do I have to loose?

BENPOV

Great, it actually seemed to be a good idea to crash the mall, and I was glad of it. It's been a while since Edward actually accepted to do something crazy, but whatever the reason, I wasn't complaining!

And all that trouble because of a girl? Well… I know that if it had been Angela… I might have reacted the same. By the way, before Jacob came in the picture, I had never seen Edward so alive.

If only this trouble could be fix. And the worst, Edward didn't notice how many times Bella would stare at him for periods of time when he wasn't looking.

"Stop saying nonsense, Ben, it doesn't help at all." Edward grumbled from behind. We were now walking from store to store, looking for our first act.

I snorted, and all the guys stopped on track to look at me with wide eyes. Okay, I know the sound was weird, and that usually I don't speak my opinion, but now, there's no way in hell I'll let him believe stupidities.

"Look, first of all, I didn't say anything," he rolled his eyes. "And Edward, think what you wanna think, but if I had to say one last thing for the rest of my life, it would be this: you don't see it, but she's suffering as much as you do!"

Em and Jasper nodded, and I knew they had seen the same thing as I had. The only problem now was to convince him.

"Hey, think about it this way! If those girls can hide their thoughts from you, what tells you they can't also hide their pain? Think about it! And by the way, if that's the best she can do, then she's not that good, cause we all saw through her lie." Does this make sense? Let's say it does.

" She's as uncomfortable with this as you are." This is declared the biggest speech I have ever done in my life!!

Edward looked at us for a while, and slowly a smile spread on his face. He laughed a little, and said, "Fine, whatever you say."

I huffed, but soon we were walking again, when Emmett stopped us. We turned to him. He was smiling, watching intently the huge fountain. Then, he swirled to look at us.

"Let's buy soap for laundry." He said. Nice! That was all we needed to know.

EPOV

It had been so long that I had done those kinds of things, that it took a second to understood what it meant, but once I did, I became both excited and nervous. What if we got caught? I became happy when I realized that since Carlisle had given us permission this morning, he couldn't get mad while he'll be bailing us out of jail. Right?

We went in a little further until we found a pharmacy, and bought the biggest bottle of laundry detergent there was, which earned us quite a look from the cashier. We also bought four super big water bottles, and balloons. Then, we followed Emmett to the bathroom. Luckily, there was no one.

We took the sign 'out of order' that was on one of the cabinets and put it on the main door. Then, to be sure we wouldn't be disturbed, Jasper locked the door.

We emptied all the four bottles in the sink, and filled them up with the transparent bleach. It looked exactly like water! We still had a bit left over though (or should I say a lot?), so we put it in Emmett's backpack, and we left with each a bottle. This would be great!

JPOV

We would all separate and arrive at different times, so that we wouldn't look suspicious. I knew it was a lost cause, since we all accidentally wore black but still. I was the first one to go.

With my bottle in hand I went to sit on a bench next to the fountain with my back to it. Seconds later, a young girl came to sit next to me, trying to look sexy. It didn't work at all. Seriously, I thought I was going to burst laughing. I was about to tell her I was taken by Alice, when Edward arrived, and sat on the fountain side with Ben on the opposite area that I was. They talked and laughed, like to best friends.

Finally, Emmett came on one of the sides left, and started picking cents from the bottom. This time, I couldn't contain my laugh, and looked in the other direction so that I wouldn't blow up our plan.

Then, when no one was looking, I 'stretched' and 'accidentally' spilled the content of my bottle in the fountain behind me. Of course, it created little drops to splash on the bench, and the girl beside me squealed and ran away. Yah, two in one!

I turned around to see that everyone's bottle was empty. We all left running, not giving a damn about subtlety anymore.

BENPOV

This was fun! We ran to the escalator to level two and looked down. After a minute, foam started to be seen, and after five minute, guards were doing there best to stop it, and trying to put the bubbles back in. We were about to die laughing, and at the same time trying to be quiet.

We hurried to the bathroom (our meeting place), and once inside, we crumbled to the ground. I laughed so hard that water in the toilette bowls started boiling! After a couple of minutes we calmed down.

"What's next?" Edward asked. We all looked at him and laughed. Even he thought it was funny!

Of course, Emmett had an idea. "Well, we have balloons and sinks? What do ya think?" We all smiled, and ran to the sinks. The bathroom was quite long when we look at it actually. We filled thirteen balloons, and hid the detergent behind a toilette for later. Like that, we had place to hide the balloons in the bag.

As we were walking out, Emmett stopped and looked around. When he was sure no one would see use, he used his strength to 'rip' the boy sign/girl sign from the bathroom doors, and pressed them into the wood, with such force that it would hold in place, on the opposite door the belonged on.

We all chuckle, since we knew that all the girls who came to this bathroom who have to go back, and the guys would be very mixed-up once inside.

We were about to go, when Edward stopped us this time. Now I was curious. He took one of the balloons, and open the now boy bathroom door a little, he put a balloon on top so it would fall on the next person that opened it. Not bad, for a good boy!

We then climbed to the third level, where we knew that people at the bottom would not be able to recognize us, and threw randomly three balloons each. Of course being Emmett, he'd do some kind of mistake…

Crap! It fell on a cop!!! He looked up and yelled, "Hey stop them!" By that time, we were dashing away. We ran through the hallways when we came face to face with an other cop. Shit!

I heard him say in his phone that he'd found us, but one thing was sure, he hadn't caught us!! We separated and soon, we were running in opposite directions. Ha! He was running after …

EMPOV

Crap! That stupid cop is after me! I mean, he has nothing on me, but still, I can't just beat up a cop, can I? So I did the only sane thing I could do, RUN!!!

I could see him speaking in his phone, though I couldn't hear. And soon I regretted it. I ended up trapped between two cops!!!! THIS COULD NOT HAPPEN TO ME!!! They tied my wrists together with handcuffs and tied me to a bench. While the other left, I was stuck with the same gorilla that betrayed me earlier. Damn, I can't break free with him watching!

A lot of people stopped to look at me, but when they did I growled at them, and they RAN. I was about to lose hope when Edward arrived.

"HEY GORILLA, NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO CATCH ME IT SEEMS!" Eddie yelled. Go Eddie Go! He grimaced at me, and suddenly I had the impression that it was safer for me to shut up. He nodded and ran. The cop chased him. Yes!

I broke the cuffs with a flick of my hand and I ran away to the first place that came to mind. The bathrooms.

You see, that is the reason I like small malls. No security cameras, and fewer witnesses. So much better.

I barged in the room and closed the door. Jasper and Ben were there, laughing their heads off, but when I was about to ask them where Edward was, he came in.

" Don't worry, they didn't follow me." He said. Good. We already knew that Edward was the fastest of us all.

We stayed there a little bit, to calm down, and then started thinking about what to do. Ben had an idea.

"Well, I've seen that in movies, but since we have some soap left, we can mix it with water and put on the floor. On T.V. at least, it slips and we can slide on it?" Well that looked fun!

We all nodded and poured the soap on the floor. Okay, bleach, soap, same dif. Anyway, we took our jackets off, and since we were here for Edward…

EPOV

Okay, it's not that bad. You, are, not, going, to, DIE! I took a deep breath and looked at the ground in front of me.

Emmett-hurry up dude! We're waiting!

He wanted me to hurry up, well let's go then! I closed my eyes, ran and jump on the soap.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" CRASH!

I had slid right into the wall! At least now, we couldn't pretend it wasn't slippery! I got up and went back behind our little waiting line, with the biggest grin I ever had. It was so much fun! I was so glad the guys actually made me do those things!

We all went one by one, and Emmett actually made a dent on the wall! Seriously! By the time we were done, we were dripping wet and covered in foam!

JPOV

It was all funny, but then I remembered something mom had told us not too long ago, about bleach ruining clothes. Oh oh.

I went to the mirror and turned to look at my butt. No way! The dye on my pants was washed away, and now my butt was a brownish white.

"Crap!" I must have said that out loud, since the guys turn to me and laughed. We all took turns at the mirror, and if we wanted to be subtle before, we had no chances now.

" look, we can't possibly hide anymore, so what if we just went out of this bathroom, and have pleasure until the police gets us? Anyway, hiding here is not as fun as putting chaos there." Ben said, pointing at the door.

We agreed, took all our stuff and left. We took the 'out of order' sign from the door before we left, though, so that people would see the mess and slip.

Then we started walking and laughing at all the little crazy stuff we did.

RPOV

We were shopping, and Alice had just made me buy six skirts, when we saw them. WTF! They were…disasters. Their clothes were ruined, and they were covered in soap! They were laughing their heads off, and Jasper stole fries from and old lady!

What is going on? They walked towards us, and when Ben saw Angel, he slipped on the soap almost fell to the ground. Well, someone's love-crazed!

What the hell did they do…Again?

EPOV

Oh great, the girls (Note the sarcasm)! The only thing that could ruin this day was Bella, but strangely, I felt even worst when I couldn't find her near.

"What happened, you fell in the fountain?" Angela asked. That sent us off again.

"No, but we are the ones who ruined the fountain though!" Em said. We laughed some more, and the girls looked at us like we were crazy. I was dying to ask if Bella was there, but it would be too eager from me. Jasper helped me.

"So, is Bella there too?" he asked. I'll have to thank him later. The girls shook their heads no. And then, like on cue, they started all at once, talking about their shopping trip. My brothers actually seemed interested (ew!) in what they were saying, but not I.

I started walking towards the exit, and went outside. A light cool breeze ruffled my wet bronze hair, and I started getting cold. Just then, my phone vibrated, telling me someone was texting me.

I looked down at my screen: Alice Cullen.

What did she have to tell me now? If she had something to tell me, why didn't she have told me earlier? Anyway, I was going to find out quite fast. I flipped my phone open and read the single word.

Edward?

What?, I thought. She had just spoken to me! And why was I feeling all cozy just because of that? I turned around, and looked through the window to find Alice. She was there all right, but she didn't have her phone. Just then, my phone vibrated again.

Edward?

Woo…. Wait the hell? I looked back again, and still, she didn't have her phone. Who was texting me? I was seriously starting to have the creeps!

-Who R U?

Bella misses U…

What! Bella! Who was that person? Someone who knew Bella? I had to know, and strangely, if that person knew Bella, and told me she missed me, then it could be true… Wait boy! Don't get your hopes too high!

-I know U aren't Alice, who R U?

She dreams about U too.

Ok, I was seriously freaked out.

-Yah, and what about Jacob?

They aren't together.

That was the single scariest and best thing of my day. Those are the best things I could have been told today, and even if I had no way of knowing if it was true, I couldn't know if it was a lie.

She's sorry…

-About what?

Bella? Sorry? For what? This angel could never have done anything wrong, could she?

For making U believe she was with Jake. She was afraid.

-Of what was she afraid?

I asked. I waited. And waited. And I lost patience. God damn it! Of what is she afraid, of me? She knew about my father… did she think I was like him? I started losing hope, when the most magnificent words appeared?

She's afraid to end up liking you too much.

-Who is it, and how do U know if it's true.

Think of the closest person to Bella. Believe me… (Alice Cullen Disconnected)

What? I had to look back to be sure it wasn't Alice, or any of the girls. They looked way too caught up in the conversation to have done that. But who was it? It had to be someone close to Bella, apart from her 'sisters'. Maybe Jake… but if I believed what that stranger said, they weren't together…

All of a sudden, I had a flash. Yap, that's how I work, one brilliant idea at a time.

What if it was… Bella herself? No one knew her better than herself. But that didn't make sense. It was Alice's phone, and I mean, the things in there couldn't be that true…

I decided to let my mind wonder… what if it was true? In theory, that would have been the best way for her to send me information without betraying herself. And Alice wouldn't pass her cellular to just anybody, would she?

I was thorn in two.

And that was the moment when I decided that was going to quit being pessimist, and start believing the better solution. I felt like I was floating, just knowing there was a chance that I was worth something to Bella…

My smile was huge when I came back in, and stayed like that until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and…

Shit… a cop. I looked around to see about ten of them circling the seven of us.

And that included the girls.

Now the real crap is coming our way, and to be honest, Rosalie's face at this moment is scarier than any cop on this earth, that's for sure!


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