Chapter 12: I'm Not Falling Apart
The coffee shop
The phone kept ringing only to go to voice-mail. This was the fourth time Lisa dialed Zack's number. She was continuously greeted by the automated voice asking her to leave a message.
"I don't want to leave a message, I want him to pick up," she spoke into the receiver before closing her cell phone. Luckily her outburst wasn't recorded.
She let out a loud sigh as she sat at the coffee shop table on a bright Monday afternoon. Lisa hadn't seen or spoken to Zack since he dropped her off three days ago. That Friday night had been perfect up until its final moments.
It wasn't every day a girl could say a guy had made her see stars. She had learned more about him that night. They just seemed to click so well. Zack would play cool but she knew what they were feeling for each other was growing. The energy that flowed from his lips with every kiss in these last couple of weeks proved that to her.
Still, she was left baffled as to why he had grown so quiet by the end of the night.
What had he been trying to say right after he stopped kissing her? Lisa couldn't figure it out, but it seemed, from the way he was looking, to be very important. The way his eyes were burning into hers as she laid beneath him, told her that much. How could Zack's eyes portray so much passion and longing only for him to go M.I.A the following days?
Lisa was at a loss for good explanations. She hadn't realized how much she had grown use to hearing from him every day or seeing him every other day, until these last couple of days where she didn't get to see him at all.
She hoped everything was okay.
As she pondered this further, Jessie walked up to the table and sat down her drink. She had left some moments ago to go and complain to the store management that they should invest in biodegradable cups.
"How irresponsible can management be to still use cups that don't recycle well? We're in California for Pete's sake," she remarked shaking her head.
"Yeah," Lisa agreed half heartily.
Jessie noticed her friend's lack of enthusiasm.
"What did Zack do," Jessie questioned.
Lisa let out a small laugh despite herself. She had forgotten how well her friend could read her like a book.
"Zack didn't do anything. I think. Well, I hope. Things are going really nice actually," she answered.
"Then why do you seem bummed," Jessie pressed.
Lisa let out a sigh.
"I don't know Jessie. I guess I've become spoiled," Lisa started before Jessie cut her off.
"You've always been spoiled Lisa," she interjected.
Lisa gave her friend a pointed look.
"I'm not talking about in general Jessie, I'm talking about with Zack," she bit out playfully throwing a straw at her friend. She then went on, "When we started seeing each other after Screech's birthday vacation he called me almost every day. I saw him nearly every other day, and when I did see him, it was as though he'd find ways so that he could stay around me longer. On Friday night he took me to this hill top that he had found, that he hadn't taken anyone to before. It was beautiful."
"Wow, Zack is going all out with you it seems," Jessie said.
"Well, that's what I thought, but things have gotten weird. At the end of Friday night it seemed like he was about to tell me something, then he just clamed up and got all quiet. He took me home, said he'd talk to me later and," Lisa went on before Jessie interrupted again.
"And hasn't called you since," she finished for her friend.
Lisa let out another sigh as her body deflated in defeat.
"Exactly," she admitted.
Jessie nodded her head as she sipped her coffee, as though she were deep in thought.
"There can be a variety of explanations for this Lisa, one being the most prevalent," she explained.
"What's the most prevalent," Lisa asked.
"The fact that he's a guy and they do really stupid things when they start to get antsy or scared," Jessie answered.
Lisa became confused.
"What do you mean antsy or scared? What does he have to be antsy or scared about," she pressed.
"The two of you," Jessie answered simply.
Lisa rolled her eyes at her friend's simple words.
"Care to elaborate," she asked.
Jessie sat down her cup.
"Well, I think you and Zack have grown even closer in the last couple of weeks. All the signs were there that you two were growing more serious. Only one thing can occur when a typical male senses this; they run and hide," Jessie concluded.
Lisa thought for a moment.
"So, you're telling me, that Zack sensed that perhaps we were getting serious, and now he's running away," Lisa said.
"I didn't say he was running away. I said he ran and hid. When the typical male runs to hide this is the point in which they try to figure out how they want to go about the situation. Two things can come of this. He can man up, and take the challenge of the commitment, and be happy to find such an awesome female companion, or," Jessie trailed off.
"Or what," Lisa pressed.
"Or they do something stupid to screw it up," Jessie concluded softly.
Lisa brought her hands to her face as she took in the words.
"What are my percentages," she asked.
"I think it varies," Jessie responded with a matter of fact tone.
Lisa shook her head.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe he is weirded out by the thought of us getting serious, but that doesn't give him any right to up and disappear on me. I mean, we're in our twenties, not grade school," Lisa said.
"Unfortunately Lisa, male stupidity knows no age limit," Jessie replied with a grin.
Lisa thought over Jessie's words as she sipped her hot tea. Even if Jessie's scenario was right, was there really anything for Lisa to worry about? Zack could be slick at times but they had all grown able to see through him. The way they were together told Lisa a story of a guy, that even if he was in hiding at the moment, he did really care for her. Those feelings had to be stronger than some sense of pride or ego, right?
Lisa sipped her tea again. She hoped she wasn't betting on the wrong horse by giving Zack the benefit of the doubt.
Just at that moment Lisa's cell rang out. She looked at the id screen as a wide grin spread across her face.
It was Zack.
"Hello," she answered.
"Hey Lisa," came his voice on the other end.
"Hey, I thought the ground swallowed you up," Lisa joked. She had to admit she was relieved to hear from him.
There was a pause on the other end before Zack spoke.
"No, no. It just got really busy at my parents house. My dad is back in from a business trip so he wants to spend some quality father son time," he answered.
"Oh, okay," Lisa answered.
There was another beat of silence before Zack spoke up.
"I would ask you to go do something tonight but my dad wants to take some overnight to an old friend's house. He's insisting that I go," he explained.
Lisa couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed, but tried not to show it in her voice.
"I totally get you. My Mom does that too sometimes. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow," she offered.
"Yeah, definitely," Zack answered quickly.
Lisa smiled.
"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later then," she said.
"Definitely," Zack responded.
There was another pause.
"Okay, I'll hang up now," Lisa laughed out.
"Right," Zack said laughing back.
With that Lisa hung up the phone.
"I take it by your smile that Zack has come out of hiding," Jessie observed.
"You can take that right Jessie. He was just occupied by his dad for the last couple of days. We're going to hang out tomorrow," Lisa explained.
"Well that's good. Well, I have to jet. I have to finish up some reports for my job before hooking up with Kelly later. Since you don't have plans with Zack, do you want to come with," Jessie said standing up.
'That's okay. My parents actually want to take me to this restaurant they discovered way outside of the city tonight. I told them I'd go if I didn't have other plans," Lisa answered.
Lisa also figured that tonight was going to be the night that Kelly would to talk to Jessie about Slater. She didn't necessarily want to be around for that drama.
"Okay, well I'll probably give you a buzz tomorrow," Jessie replied as she hugged Lisa.
"For sure, and thanks again for giving me a lesson on Stupid Things Males Do 101," Lisa laughed.
"Anytime Lisa. We women have to stick together. Besides, we're the half of our species that actually use most our brains," Jessie joked back.
The friends then went to their separate cars and on their way. Lisa breathed another sigh of relief as she drove her way home. It was nice to know that giving Zack the benefit of the doubt had actually paid off.
The Morris Residence
Zack hung up his cell after finishing his conversation with Lisa.
He had lied.
It was true that his dad was back in town, but it wasn't true that he had been too busy with him to pick up the phone. Zack had been avoiding talking to Lisa since that Friday night when he had gotten completely freaked out. In fact, he hadn't really talked to any of the gang since then.
He didn't want Slater or Screech to try and talk him out of what he figured was necessary.
Zack had to go out on a date with someone besides Lisa, he concluded. It was the only way to prove to himself that although he liked hanging out with Lisa, he was smart enough not to enter social oblivion by somehow falling for her.
This was for the best.
Besides, once the date with Susie was over with he probably wouldn't try to see her again. He just wanted to prove to himself that he could still date other girls if he wanted to. It was a mere test.
So why was he lying to Lisa? It wasn't like they were exclusive, or said they wouldn't see other people while they were dating. Yet, Zack just couldn't bring himself to tell her about his date tonight. Perhaps in the far and away back of his mind he felt that there was something slightly wrong about it.
He shook the thought from his head. There was no backing out of it now. He was taking Susie Lawson out tonight. Besides, she had picked a restaurant far out of the city to eat at anyway. This ensured that none of the gang, especially Lisa, would somehow walk in there.
Not that it mattered, Zack thought. Zack was a red blooded male. He had every right to sow his oats. This was what Zack kept telling himself every time he got the inkling to cancel the date with Susie.
Zack stood in front of the mirror as he smoothed out his hair.
"It's a quick date. Nothing wrong with that. You're young and single. What could go wrong," he spoke to himself.
The Turtle's Mercedes
"You're going to love this restaurant princess," Lisa's dad spoke from the driver's seat.
"Yeah, your father discovered it while driving from a convention some months ago," Lisa's mother said.
"Well it sounds like you two already love it, so the food is probably good," Lisa replied from the backseat.
"Too bad Zack couldn't come with us tonight. He would probably like it too," Lisa's mother went on.
"Yeah, his Dad dragged him to go meet up with some old family friends," Lisa answered.
"Oh, like your mother likes to do with you," Dr. Turtle said with a laugh.
"Exactly, so you knew I felt his pain," Lisa replied with a laugh as well.
"Ha. Ha," Lisa's mother said dryly.
This made Lisa's father and her laugh even more.
"Okay, here we are princess. The Chariot awaits," her father said pulling into the parking lot of the extravagant restaurant.
Inside The Chariot towards the back
"The Chariot is one of my favorite places," Susie Lawson spoke up as she sat close to Zack.
A little too close for him if he was being honest with himself.
They had grabbed a booth towards the back of the restaurant. The night had been going simple enough. He and Susie had gone to a movie followed by dinner.
Susie wasn't a bad date at all really. She had some interesting stories about her summer so far and the things she planned on doing. She also wasn't bad on the eyes either. She had made sure to wear a dress that fit tightly over her body to display this.
Yet, for whatever reason Zack wasn't all that interested. She had all the credentials to be a new conquest, but for whatever reason something just wasn't ringing true. None the less, he was accomplishing his goal of seeing other girls, just like he had told Screech and Slater he could.
Zack was brought out of his thoughts as he felt Susie's fingertips brush against the back of his neck.
"What do you think," she whispered out.
"Yeah, the bread is good," he answered.
Susie let out a high pitched giggle as she slapped Zack on the arm.
"I wasn't talking about the bread silly. I was talking about the design of the restaurant. Isn't it gorgeous," she said.
Zack looked around the place. It really was a nice restaurant. The color scheme went well for the tables and walls.
Lisa would definitely give this place a ten, Zack thought with a smile.
Zack suddenly caught himself realizing that his mind had wandered over to Lisa again. It had been doing that throughout the night. He needed to stay focused.
He turned his gaze to Susie.
"It's gorgeous, just like my date," he drawled out more forced than he intended.
Susie didn't seem to notice though as she let out another high pitched giggle. Her cheeks had turned a shade of red to match her dress.
"Oh Zack, you do know how to charm a girl," she whispered managing to move even closer to him.
Zack swallowed nervously. He knew where this was headed. This wasn't exactly where he was trying to steer the date.
"You know," Susie went on, not seeing his slight discomfort, "it's been so long, I think I've forgotten the way you kiss. Care to remind me," she finished. She then took one finger and began to stroke his hand.
Zack swallowed nervously again.
This was certainly a predicament.
The Chariot, upstairs on the patio.
The meal had been delicious. Lisa's parents were definitely right about this place. Lisa also had to admit that the color scheme of the table and walls were a ten in her book as well.
"I told you she'd love it Judy," Dr. Turtle said to his wife as he signed the bill.
"I think I told you that Charles," Lisa's mother replied.
"Of course dear," Dr. Turtle agreed.
Lisa rolled her eyes at her parents. They were quiet the duo. Lisa had always hoped to eventually find a connection like the two of them had. Not like she was thinking that was with Zack.
Yet, she wouldn't mind if years down the line it turned out to be, Lisa thought with a smile.
As she and her parents walked back out to the Mercedes Lisa stopped suddenly. She blinked at what was to the right of her and thought that perhaps her eyes were playing tricks.
"What is it princess," Dr. Turtle called back to his daughter.
"I," Lisa trailed off, "I wanted to go back and ask the manager who his interior designer was. You know for future reference," she finished.
Both of her parents laughed.
"Okay sweetie. We'll sit in the car and wait for you," her mother answered.
With that Lisa backtracked into the restaurant.
She didn't think her eyes were deceiving her. That was Zack's car in the parking lot. Maybe he and his dad had stopped at The Chariot for dinner before going further on their way.
She'd just pop in and say hi. It would be nice to just see him, even if it was for a minute.
Lisa walked in the entrance and went up to the host.
"Miss Turtle, back so soon? Always a pleasure," he said noticing her.
"Why thank you Paul, but I already gave my tip," she laughed out, she then said, "I was wondering if you could help me find a friend who I think is in the restaurant tonight. His table should be under the name Morris," she instructed.
The Chariot, in the back
"Has Zack Morris suddenly become shy," Susie said looking at Zack.
"No," he trailed off.
"Then why don't you kiss me," she replied.
Zack looked at the young lady in front of him just inches away from his face. If this was a month and a half ago he knew there would be no hesitation. Zack had never been afraid of a kiss, and especially of kissing a pretty girl.
Then why was he stuck in his position, he wondered.
What did he have to lose? If he was right about not needing to be in a commitment, then wouldn't kissing Susie symbolize his independence? By not kissing her, he would somehow be admitting that maybe his heart had really gone off the market, purchased by Lisa Turtle.
It would be social oblivion.
Zack shook his head, intent on that not happening.
It was now or never.
He cleared his throat and closed his eyes as he leaned into Susie. She quickly wrapped her arms around him as she drew him in closer.
The kiss was okay, and she clearly wanted this to turn into a make-out session. He allowed her to push further as he sat rather stiffly in his seat.
Soon, it would be over, and he could go on knowing that he was still in control of his emotions.
Suddenly a voice came from in front of them.
"I believe his table is right here Miss. Turtle," said the voice.
"Thanks Paul. I-,"
Zack recognized the responder voice.
At that moment it felt like knots had suddenly turned in his stomach.
It was Lisa.
Zack ripped his body away from Susie as fear washed over him.
He turned to find Lisa standing there looking at him, and then back at the girl he was sitting next to. The expression on her face was unreadable.
Zack's eyes were locked on Lisa's face as he slowly stood up from the table.
"Perhaps, I should leave you three alone," the host said. He gave a slight bow and walked off briskly.
Zack began to approach Lisa as she stumbled back.
"I," she began before Zack cut her off.
"Lisa, look, this looks really bad but," he began.
"Zack, what are you talking about," Susie said again from behind, "are you telling me that you have a girlfriend but asked me out anyway," she accused.
Zack closed his eyes. If ever there was a time he wished he could put his hands together and call time out, this was it.
"I'm not his girlfriend," Lisa spoke out.
Her voice was leveled and eerily calm.
Zack looked at her and wondered why her saying that had stung a little.
"I didn't mean to disturb your date. I'll let you get back to it," she finished as she turned to leave.
Before he knew what he was doing Zack had reached out and grabbed Lisa's arm. She quickly pulled it away as she looked at him with unmistaken anger.
"Don't," she said in a warning tone. Then, "if you felt like you needed some variety in your dating life Zack, you should have just told me. No need to lie about wanting to go and make out with other girls," she finished.
"Lisa, let me explain," he said pleadingly.
He wasn't sure what exactly he was going to tell her. What he could tell her. All those moments of bravado he had earlier had washed away.
"Explain what Zack," Lisa began as her voice raised an octave, "how you're not brave enough to tell a girl when you want to see other people. Or how you like to make someone feel special, only to show them later that they're just another notch on your dating belt," she finished.
"This is crazy," Susie joined in as she stood up, "You took me out on a date only to have me end up in what looks like an episode of Gossip Girl. What is going on," she screamed.
The other guests seated at their tables were watching now.
Zack felt backed into a corner.
His own mind was pushing him one way, Susie was screaming in his ear, and Lisa was accusing him all at the same time.
A sense of panic grew inside of him that made him feel like he was about to burst open.
"I don't want this," he finally screamed out looking at Lisa, "the complications, the baggage. I don't want it. I don't want a commitment, okay," he rushed out before he realized what he was saying.
Did he mean that? He wasn't sure anymore.
An eerie silence had fallen between them.
His eyes caught Lisa's now. Her eyes seemed moist and glazed over in what seemed to be tears pushing to be let out.
He quickly regretted his words.
He wanted to reach out to her at that moment and explain that he was a confused fool.
That he'd never hurt her. That he'd never want her to hate him.
He stepped forward.
"Lisa, I didn't mean," he began, but he stopped as he saw Lisa step away.
The look on her face was that of disgust and hurt.
That look cut him deep.
He tried to step close again.
"Please," he choked out to her, with his arms outstretched.
Lisa put up her hands defensively to stop him from coming closer.
"It's okay," she said quietly, "I get it. You're right. It was crazy to even think that you'd," she trailed off as her words seem to catch in her throat.
"It's not crazy Lisa, I," he started again before he was cut off once more.
"Its better we realize it now than later," she started as she didn't make eye contact with him, "I'm going to go. My parents are waiting outside for me. I'll see you around," she finished as she turned to leave.
"Lisa wait," Zack pleaded out.
He didn't want her to go. He didn't want her to turn her back on him.
Why did this hurt so much?
Lisa stopped and looked over her shoulder.
"Please don't follow me. I don't want to ruin my parents' night," she finished. She then turned before a single tear escaped her eyes.
With that he watched her run away from him.
He felt like his shoes were weighed down to the floor.
What had he just done?
He didn't know how long he had been standing there, until he heard Susie speak up from behind him.
"I think I'll call myself a cab," she said walking by.
Zack was left standing in The Chariot, wondering how something so simple could go so complicatedly wrong.
A/N: Awwww-lol. Oh well. Thanks to reviewer Anne for the name of Lisa's mom. I think it was Judy. I remember, ironicly enough, Zack's dad saying it in that drunk driving episode. Okay. Reviews are love.
