Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

Author's Note: First, two chapters in one day! Go me! Anyway, MORE FLUFF! Please enjoy and please share your thoughts with me! I love to hear what each and every one of you has to say! The claim from last chapter's author's note still holds true. LEAVE ME IDEAS (hint, hint; cough, cough; nudge, nudge) and I will include them in the story!

The car ride home was filled with constant chatter about school, Grandma and Grandpa, or gymnastics. If the kids weren't speaking at rapid speeds with varying levels of excitement, they were singing along to the 60s radio station playing in the background. After all three sprinted through the foyer, Emily lightly grasped JJ's forearm.

"Are you serious, Jen?" JJ nodded and watched the smile spread across Emily's delicate, porcelain features. "You're pregnant?" Emily clarified, trying to wrap her mind around the concept for the third time. Again, JJ nodded, this time a smile matching Emily's decorating her tanned face. And then, Emily Prentiss squealed. This rare sound effect emanating from her lover caused JJ to laugh delightfully as Emily picked her up in some form of a bear hug and spun in a circle. "You're pregnant," Emily practically shouted in her newfound cheerfulness.

"We're pregnant," JJ corrected softly, kissing Emily fully on the lips.

"We are indeed," Emily consented, intertwining her fingers with JJ's and pulling the blonde further into their home.

The next day, afternoon came along fairly quickly with only a few timeouts and only one major meltdown in the form of a five-year clearly not getting her way. Emily was exhausted. The doorbell rang and Emily nearly bounded to the door in the hopes the reverberating sound effect wouldn't wake her recently slumbering children. Opening the dark maple door, she came face to face with the resident genius.

"Hey, Reid. Come on in," Emily said, ushering him in with a voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Why are we whispering?"

"They're all asleep, and it's glorious. If you make any sudden noise or movement, they'll all be awake again, and I will fall over the brink into insanity," Emily responded as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

"JJ was right. You do have a talent for emphasizing the drama in every situation."

Emily glowered at him through squinted, dark brown eyes before asking, "So what's up? Why are you here?"

"I see JJ has kept you in the dark. I'm the second wave of responders in this scenario. You and JJ are going somewhere, and I get to stay with your charming children."

"Oh, good luck with that. They can be charming, as you say, on some days; after all, they are Prentisses. However, today is not one of those days. You may have just walked into a den of Tasmanian devils."

"Did you know Tasmanian devils got their name because one will fly into maniacal rage when threatened? Early European settlers described these displays of piercing growls, teeth baring, and lunging as satanic. Also, an average Tasmanian devil can weigh up to 26 pounds."

"See," Emily concluded, "I was pretty spot on. Henry is close to 26 pounds. The other two, well, the piercing growls and lunging seem to fit today." Reid gulped nervously at Emily's comment, his Adam's apple bobbling in his throat.

"Remember, Spence," JJ called as she stepped from the carpeted stairs. "Beneath the calm collected exterior that is Emily Prentiss lies a teenager fully qualified in amending a daily scenario into one of life-or-death."

"Since our jobs involve life-or-death on a daily basis, I'm not sure that makes me feel any better," Reid replied.

"Oh well, good luck," Emily said, practically rushing out of the door, trusting her children in the boy genius' capable hands.

"You're not going to tell me where anything is or the rules?" Reid asked incredulously to JJ's retreating form. "You're just going to dump me in the middle of the chaos of your children?"

"You can handle it. If not, well, figure it out," JJ smirked over her shoulder.

Crap, Reid thought to himself as the garage door slid shut. A solid 40 minutes later found Reid contemplating pulling out chunks of his hair. I never thought they were serious about the chaos! The house seemed to come alive all at once in a matter of seconds. At first, he relaxed peacefully on the couch reading Uncle Tom's Cabin, and the next, Henry was wailing at the top of his lungs to be let out from his crib while Abby and Nate had vanished into thin air in the middle of a game of hide and seek. Now, Reid ran frantically from one end of the house to the other searching for the kids that were mocking him at this point. He caught sight of a little nude figure running into the twins' room and decided his game plan was to dress, or at least diaper, the youngest Prentiss. After taking Henry from his crib, Reid had attempted to change the young boy's diaper, but the blonde child squirmed and rolled until he was free. After that point, Reid was on an endless chase to locate any one of the three Prentiss children. Stopping amidst the chaos, he pulled his cell from his pocket and hit speed dial 4.

"Hello, hello Boy Genius. What can the Oracle of Knowledge do for you today?"

"They are everywhere!" Reid shrieked into the phone in a high-pitch tone. He continued rambling, "And Henry is naked because I can't get him to hold still long enough to get him in a diaper. Abby and Nate are running circles around me. Garcia, I don't have enough hands for this! How do they do it? I can't even see them, any of them; much less do anything remotely productive! Help me!"

"Pull the reins, Reid. Where are you?"

"Aren't you supposed to be the Fountain of Omniscient Power or something like that? I'm at Emily and JJ's house, and they left me with the kids. They were all taking naps like little angels, and then, BAM," he shouted into the phone. "They were everywhere. They run in circles like separate forces of nature, destroying anything and everything in their paths. And Henry doesn't even have on a diaper."

"I am the Fountain of Omniscient Power. Don't insult my prowess or you can suffer on your own," Garcia threatened the scrawny, frazzled man. "We'll be there in 15 minutes."

"If we includes Morgan, have Morgan drive. He can be here 10. This is insanity- full-blown, textbook definition insanity. How on Earth do the two of them manage this and work and everything and stay so damn calm?"

"They've had years of practice, and if anything, Em and JJ are superheroes, obviously."

"I don't have years of practice; I barely have minutes of practice. Now can you hurry up please?"

"We'll be there soon, kid." Reid heard Morgan's confirmation in the background and sighed in relief.

Garcia, Morgan, and Reid stood in the foyer looking at the scene around them.

"Okay, mighty warriors, we need a game plan. I'll get Abby. Morgan, find Nate. Reid, get the baby dressed! Ready?" Garcia asked, moving the men into a huddle as if she were the quarterback of a football team that was down by 40 in the final quarter. Both men nodded their consent, and Garcia shouted "Break" enthusiastically before calling out to the seemingly empty, destroyed house. "Get ready, munchkins. He called in the reinforcements." Reid found Henry relatively quickly; getting the young boy dressed was another story entirely. Garcia rushed around looking for Emily's mini-me and found Abby covered head-to-toe in make up. Morgan couldn't find the older boy and paced the hallways slowly and deliberately.

"You know I've got this new Scooby Doo soccer ball. I think I'm going to go in the backyard and play," Morgan's voice carried through the wooded hallways.

"Sweet!"

"Ha!" Morgan shouted victoriously. "Found you, Nate."

"But it was so much fun watching Uncle Spencer run back and forth."

"Oh don't I know it, kid. But look, I wasn't playing. I've got a brand new soccer ball right here. Why don't we go give a try?" Nate nodded vigorously and happily skipped after his uncle.

"Well, nothing's broken. Reid isn't dead on the floor with our children parading around him triumphantly," Emily commented sardonically as they entered from the garage door.

"It's too quiet," JJ murmured, looking around skeptically. Quiet always meant trouble, often in the form of twin terrors plotting their latest act of independence.

"We're home," Emily called out to the general area.

"Kitchen" came Garcia's voice.

"Didn't we leave them with Reid?" Emily asked, a confused look displayed clearly across her features.

"He probably needed reinforcements," JJ replied knowingly, pushing Emily in the direction of their kitchen.

"Hey lovebirds," Garcia sing-songed as Abby turned and grinned.

"We drove Uncle Spencer crazy, but then he called for reforcemens. Aunty Pen found me and ruined our game. You shoulda seen it, Momma. Uncle Spencer was so funny!" The little girl sat on the counter, a bowl of cookie dough in her lap, as she stirred contently. Her body was covered in various smudges of makeup and markers, and her forehead sported a defined flour swipe.

"You look like you had fun. I don't think there's a clean spot on you, Abs," Emily laughed as JJ hugged Garcia. Abby jumped at her and JJ spun her in a circle, causing the young girl to erupt in giggles.

"If I recall, we have two other children. Did they poof?" JJ asked between tickles to Abby's messy stomach.

"Hunk of Burning Love has Nate outside playing soccer or some boyish, nature activity. Reid never managed to clothe your youngest child, so I'm not quite sure."

"Miss Abby, why don't you go put on tennis shoes and come play outside?" JJ asked, gingerly placing her daughter on the ground.

"Okay, Mommy," she responded, skipping off the to the closet to find her shoes.

"Reid will find us eventually," Emily laughed as she and Garcia walked to the patio. Nate saw his mother and sprinted around Morgan, who quickly scored a goal in the young boy's absence.

"Hope you saw that, kid. Now I'm winning," Morgan called after Nate's racing form. Nate's short break consisted of a hug and a kiss for Emily before arguing with Morgan that the point didn't count. JJ and Abby joined the game.

"Spill, PG."

"Spill what, Princess? Look how cute they are."

"My kids or our significant others?" Emily asked slyly, watching closing for Garcia's reaction.

"He is not my significant other. He's my," Garcia paused. "He's my Derek," she concluded as though his name was definition enough.

"No way, you're getting out of this that easy. Abby and Nate were asking some interesting questions the other day," Emily prompted.

"Really?"

"They wanted to know all about kissing. I told them adults kiss each other on the lips when they're in love."

"They saw that?" Garcia wondered aloud. "I could have sworn they were asleep."

"Those kids may as well be stealthy ninjas." Garcia laughed at the imagery of her godchildren in ninja costumes. Oddly, it fit quite well. Their conversation was interrupted by Reid, stumbling his way onto the patio. The boy genius was soaked head to toe with Henry, wrapped contently in a towel, in his arms.

"Who took a bath, Reid? You or Henry?" Emily laughed at the sight. "Did it seriously take you over four hours to get a diaper on him?"

"Four and counting," Reid muttered in defeat. "In my defense, he won't hold still for anything." Emily continued laughing and reached out for her youngest son, taking him inside and returning moments later with a fully diaper two year old. "How on Earth did you do that?" Reid stuttered in disbelief.

"One word, my friend- practice."

"Garcia was right. You are definitely super woman," Reid complimented and Emily beamed in his direction.