I swear I actually had an idea for this chapter yesterday...oh well...
Unvarnished Reality
By the time Shinra and Celty arrived, Izaya could hardly breathe. Shinra made Izaya drink a bottle of ice-cold water to help reduce the swelling in his throat, then he gave Izaya some oxygen. After only a few minutes, Izaya was breathing more easily.
"You need to be more careful," Shinra told him. "It seems like every time I turn around, you're on the brink of dying. You're going to give me gray hair."
Izaya grinned but said nothing. He was too busy sucking down lungfuls of oxygen.
Shizuo came back just as Shinra was taking took Izaya off the oxygen, having gone to see how badly Izaya's home was damaged. "The place's burned to the ground," he reported.
[Izaya can stay with us.]
Shinra looked like he was about to protest, but said nothing. Izaya shook his head.
"No thanks," he replied breathily.
"It's all right," Shinra replied with false cheer. "Really."
Izaya shook his head. "Nice try, but I know how much you've been looking forward to some alone-time with Celty. I'll stay somewhere else."
"You could stay with me."
Everyone looked over in surprise at Shizuo.
"Hooray!" Izaya replied, grinning. "Shizu-chan's so nice!"
"A-are you sure about this, Shizuo?" Shinra stammered. "Izaya...living with you...?"
"It'll be fine," Shizuo insisted. Though he honestly didn't know what had made him suggest such a thing to begin with.
"Well, okay." Shinra still didn't seem very sure. "I guess that it's safe enough, as long as you don't lose your temper."
"As long as Izaya doesn't piss me off," Shizuo replied.
Shinra looked down at Izaya hopefully. Izaya actually had the nerve to pretend that he was offended.
"As if I would ever intentionally annoy Shizu-chan!"
Shinra kept looking at him until Izaya sighed.
"Fine, I won't," he said sulkily.
Izaya may have been a lot of things, but he wasn't a liar. "Okay," Shinra said at last. "I'll see you guys around, then."
[Goodbye.]
And Shinra and Celty got onto the motorcycle and drove away.
xxx
Once again, Shizuo found himself in the awkward position where he was forced to carry Izaya, but once again, he managed to make it to his destination without being seen.
Shizuo unlocked his apartment and walked inside. He half-expected Izaya to make some rude comment about how small it was, but Izaya said nothing. Shizuo set the flea down on the couch.
"You'll sleep here," he said. "I'll get you some blankets."
Izaya nodded. He looked exhausted, and Shizuo couldn't blame him. It had been a long day.
Shizuo was gone less than a minute, but Izaya was already sleeping when he got back. As quietly as possible, Shizuo unfolded the blankets and threw them over Izaya. He then flipped off the light and trudged into his room.
It was when Shizuo had gotten into bed and closed his eyes that reality caught up with him. Izaya was living in his house. Izaya was living in his house!
Shizuo groaned and pressed his face into the pillow. How the fuck do I get myself into these things? he wondered.
xxx
The next morning, Shizuo woke up thoroughly convinced that it had all been a dream, but it only took one glance out into his living room to prove otherwise.
There, on his couch, was Izaya Orihara.
Shizuo sighed and got ready for work. He had to help Tom collect early today, and he was almost glad. It meant he wouldn't have to spend very much time with his new roommate.
It would be harder to lose his temper and kill Izaya if he wasn't home.
Though right now, Izaya was being surprisingly tolerable. In fact, as far as Shizuo could tell, he was still fast asleep.
Shizuo tried not to make too much noise as he showered and fixed breakfast, and he was relieved when Izaya didn't wake up before he left.
But Shizuo was dreading coming home. Izaya would certainly be awake by then, and would no doubt be his usual obnoxious self.
I can't wait until he's gone, Shizuo thought.
xxx
It was dark by the time Shizuo finally made his way back to his apartment. He had gotten off work a few hours earlier, but couldn't bring himself to go home, knowing that Izaya was there, so he had stopped by Russian Sushi. Since he still Izaya's wallet, he ordered the same things as yesterday. Again, Simon smiled broadly.
Shizuo opened his door and steeled himself for that irritating voice, but it never came. He turned on the light and saw that Izaya was still sleeping.
That was unexpected. Shizuo grudgingly walked over and gave Izaya a tap on the shoulder.
"Hey, flea. Wake up."
Izaya shifted and opened his eyes. For just a moment, Shizuo saw a completely different person, but then Izaya blinked and that person vanished.
"Five more minutes, Shizu-chan," Izaya whined. Shizuo dropped the box of sushi on Izaya's chest.
"Shut up and eat your food."
Izaya grimaced as he sat up, trying not to strain his back. He opened the box and dug in, picking up pieces of fatty tuna with his fingers and popping them into his mouth, not even seeming to chew before he swallowed. Shizuo, watching him, felt vaguely ill.
"That's disgusting."
Izaya gave Shizuo a sly look. "Then don't feed me."
Shizuo was tempted, but he knew that wasn't an option. "Don't expect me to help you if you choke," he replied, then he opened his own box of food, got out his chopsticks, and started eating.
