Part 12

Giles, Wesley and Fred spread out around the office, prepared to scour through numerous texts for further information.

Giles started, "I think now knowing that connection to the day the slayer potential was lost does indeed make much of the information I had quite a bit clearer. There were several obscure references to the slayer and how one day the calling would become obsolete, but much of what they explained was lost in translation. I have more recently found references that mentioned some other greater power that would come to be, but they were mostly indecipherable. Certain texts seem to refer to this greater being as 'Lochi' and in another demon language as 'Folmao', but none go into particularly great detail about what it is or what it does."

"And which texts were those?" Wesley asked curiously.

Giles pointed out several on the desk, and Wesley and Fred divided the pile evenly between the two of them.

"I think you'll find in that one," Giles added, motioning to one of the books Fred had retrieved, "that there's another reference to the Lochi in connection with a female warrior who was to have risen from a great fall three times within the first decade of her call to destiny. That seems like a promising lead."

Wesley leaned over Fred's shoulder to inspect the passage Giles was referring to. "I think I read that a couple of years ago. I'd actually already assumed they meant a slayer's call to destiny, but didn't look into it further because of lack of surrounding information. I hadn't read any other sources about the Lochi. However, I assumed that given that it seems to indicate the occurrence would take place in our lifetime, then it would be referring to Faith. I figured her turning to the dark side was her first fall, and if that were so, then two more would occur within the next few years. With Buffy back, however, it does make more sense for it to refer to her three deaths, with dying by Darla's hands just slipping under the mark of ten years after her first calling."

Fred huffed, "Now wouldn't it be nice if those ancient folk could have just written all these prophecies in clear plain English so we'd be able to figure out what they meant before they actually happened?"

Giles chuckled, "I don't think the ancient folk cared to be so considerate to future generations."

"I suppose unless we find anything enormously telling from these books, which I imagine you've already looked through thoroughly, our only hope for a further explanation is that the memory restoration spell will be successful and then Jane herself will be able to tell us exactly how she and Emily came to be," Wesley concluded.

They nodded, yet continued what would likely be a fruitless search through the books one more time.

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After unpacking what few possessions she had, Janey turned to the door to her new room and found Lisa there.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, startled. "I didn't hear you come in."

Lisa nodded quietly and gave a weak smile. She walked over to the bed and sat, patting the spot next to her in indication that Janey should sit too. She did.

"We haven't had a chance to really talk since any of this happened. We always talked about everything, and now the biggest thing we could ever need to talk about has happened and we haven't spoken a word," Lisa remarked. "How are you feeling?"

Janey let out a quick, mirthless laugh. "Crappy, actually. You?"

"About the same, yeah," Lisa responded with a tight smile. They both gave a light, real laugh but sobered up quickly and looked into each other's eyes, both sets suddenly rather misty.

"Lisa, I killed Mark," Janey stated tearfully. "I killed my best friend."

"I know," Lisa nodded, her own tears starting to fall and her arm reaching out to wrap around Janey's shoulder.

Janey broke down in real sobs now and rested her head on her friend's shoulder. "All he ever did was love me and I killed him. Twice," she choked out. "How come we get to be here and have a chance to go on when it's all my fault he's gone?"

Lisa was as perplexed by that question as Janey was, and so silently continued to hold her friend as she wept.

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Angel nodded to Spike as he sat down next to him in the kitchen.

"So how does it feel, mate?" Spike enquired. "Breathing again and all."

"Feels pretty good," Angel nodded. "I think you should-"

Spike interrupted him, knowing what he was going to suggest. "I'm not going near that unnatural little girl, ever. I won't give up immortality and this power."

"No?" Angel asked. "Spike, you're not the man you used to be. I don't know why, but I know you care about these people. It really doesn't bother you at all that you're going to see us all grow old and die while you keep on as you are? And what about Dru?"

"Dru will never be able to see me again, no matter how hard she looks. I have no hope of a happy normal life with her. 'Sides, I think you're mistaken in thinking I care about the rest of you lot. I'm not a fluffy little ponce like you were. I don't have a soul. I do what I do because it's better than sitting around. Always enjoy a good fight. But I'm still a mean old bastard at heart, and I won't be shedding any tears when any of you folk go to your graves."

"Fair enough," Angel nodded. There was an elapsed pause and then he added, "Dawn's sure growing up fast, isn't she?"

He got up and walked out, leaving Spike alone with his fears.

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Janey and Lisa walked down the main stairs to the lobby. They'd been alerted by Faith that everything was ready to perform the spell. They had left Emily upstairs sleeping.

Janey nodded a silent hello to Angel as she reached the bottom of the stairs. He gave her a reassuring smile and placed a hand lightly on her back to lead her over to where the two witches had everything set up. Lisa walked over to sit with Xander, Anya, Wesley and Faith in their position of observing from across the room.

Willow gave Janey a tense smile as she reached them. "Are you ready for this?"

"Have you done this before?" Janey responded, sounding skeptical but not nervous.

Willow and Tara exchanged a glance. "Not this exact spell, no," Tara answered. "But we know what we're doing. We've had bigger challenges."

Janey nodded. "Guess I've got to trust you then. I mean, being able to remember my life is about all I've ever wanted since... well, as long as I can remember. Almost makes me wish I'd believed in witchcraft three years ago."

"Well, it won't be long until all your questions are answered, hopefully," Willow responded. "So let's get started. Sit cross-legged in the circle there, and hold this charm."

Janey did as she was told, and the two witches started chanting and sprinkling potions rhythmically around the circle. Within a few minutes, the circle had gradually begun to glow yellow, the brightness increasing steadily. As they shouted the final words of their chant, the light suddenly shot inward, illuminating Janey.

They saw an instant reaction in her; she screamed in pain and her entire body began to tremble. Her distress seemed to intensify, and she dropped the charm and fell on to her side, shaking.

Angel glanced worriedly to Willow and Tara, "Is this supposed to happen? Is she supposed to be in pain like this?"

Willow looked back at him wide-eyed, and just as she opened her mouth to respond, the light faded away and Janey's body stilled.

They froze for a moment, unsure if they should approach her, and then all of a sudden her body started shaking again. Angel stepped forward and lifted her gently, holding her up and supporting her with his body, brushing her hair back with his hands to inspect her face. He then realized that she was now shaking from powerful but silent sobs.

"Hey," he murmured, holding her closer in comfort. "Hey, shh, are you alright?"

"Oh, my god," she cried, turning to press her face against his shoulder.

The rest of the group in the lobby looked curiously at them, but stayed back so as to give her some room.

They heard her voice muffled against his shirt, "They didn't tell me… I didn't know it would be… It was my choice, though, I didn't…" Her voice faded out again, overwhelmed by her tears.

"Hey, it's okay," Angel continued to soothe. "You need time to process; let's get you up to bed. You should rest."

He lifted her gently into his arms and slowly headed up the stairs and towards her room. Figuring she needed space, only Faith, Willow and Lisa followed.

By the time she was laid down in her bed, she was babbling incoherently between quieting tears.

"She sounds like Dru," Faith whispered.

Angel looked at her angrily, "She's presumably just had a lot of memories rush into her head. Her thoughts are muddled. Give her time."

All of a sudden she turned sharply and looked Willow straight in the eye. Wild-faced, she said, "I just didn't want that to be the end of me! I didn't want to be done!"

Lisa stepped forward, her face etched with worry. "Janey, you-"

"That's not my name!" she shouted abruptly, and then rolled over, her tears continuing to fall.

Angel motioned for them all to leave, and then took a seat in the chair over by the window, near the smaller bed where Emily was laying but had woken in the commotion. They both silently watched her mother as her tears quieted down gradually and she eventually slipped into a troubled sleep.