Hey Guys! So I know I haven't updated this in quite a while, but finally, I decided, it was time. So here it is. PS Sorry it's so long. I just started writing and couldn't stop and also couldn't find a place to cut it so its long. Enjoy!
The next six weeks were a blur. The twins were put on a high caloric food and though they still struggled to put on any weight, JJ and Will both saw their girls improve little by little as their bodies got proper nutrition.
Charli came off her vent about a week and a half after Savannah and Jamie and after spending an additional week and a half on CPAP before being placed on oxygen.
Jamie came off CPAP after two weeks and was slowly being weaned off oxygen.
Savannah stopped her apnea and bradycardia spells, though she was still on a monitor full time and had been weaned off her oxygen full time earlier that week.
About a week after they were diagnoses, JJ and Will decided they were ready to tell their family and friends about the diagnosis. They had wanted to process it themselves before inviting others in to the journey. Everyone had been really supportive and helpful ever since.
Every day, something was happening. Henry loved being with the babies especially after he was allowed to hold them.
About a week prior, Declan had come home from his boarding and ended up staying with Will and JJ for most of the week because Emily and Derek were gone and he was helping with Henry. As much as Henry loved the babies, spending every day in the NICU was intense for the four year old and Declan would often take him to play on the hospital play ground or go with either Will or JJ when they took him out to do something.
They loved being with their babies, but knew it was important to make sure Henry still knew he was loved so they would make sure to do things with him outside of the hospital. Declan loved the babies so much and was always happy to get to spend time with them.
JJ and Amelia also became better friends as their kids grew. Amelia's husband was coming home in about a week and Ryan was improving every day and the doctors were hoping she would be able to go home within two weeks.
Savannah's doctor had been talking about letting her go home for a while. Even though she was only about 3 lbs. 1 oz., she was the strongest and the doctors felt as long as JJ and Will could handle the feeding tube, in home therapy would do Savannah just fine and it would be better to have her home sooner than later.
Normally, they wouldn't send a baby home on a feeding tube, which was part of what was holding Jamie back, because while the little boy could suck, he wouldn't take enough by mouth and had to be supplemented though the feeding tube in order to keep him healthy.
The problem was, he got tired and would fall asleep during his feedings, but every day, he improved. The doctors explained that the requirements to go home depended on the child and if the medical staff felt the baby would be better off at home in the care of the parents, they would send the baby home. However, if they felt the baby still needed support that only the hospital could offer, they had to stay.
As JJ got up on that Thursday morning, she knew this would be another day spent in the NICU with both Henry and Declan. The older boy was staying with her and Will had gotten a double shift so she had the two boys alone.
She got up at 6 and went into the basement to use the treadmill Will had bought for her after they both realized once the babies came home, JJ wouldn't be able to just go for her morning runs. She jogged for about an hour before showering and getting the boys up.
After making them breakfast and getting everything together, the three headed to the hospital. Both of the boys were excited, chatting about who was going to hold who first.
JJ smiled as she looked in the rear view mirror for a second to watch the boys. She couldn't help but notice the three car seats that they had installed about a month ago just in case the babies were allowed to come home.
As they pulled into the hospital, JJ took her usual parking spot, helping Henry out of the car while Declan grabbed the bag the two boys had packed for their day at the hospital.
As they walked up to the big building, JJ couldn't help but think of the day when this place wouldn't be part of their daily routine, a day her family would be together at home instead of in a NICU.
As they made their way up to the NICU floor, they waved at the people who had become normal fixtures in their day to day. They all had their temperatures taken before scrubbing and putting on their gowns.
As they entered the NICU, they noticed that Savannah's doctor was looking at her chart and talking to the nurse.
"Is something wrong?" JJ asked, going up to Dr. Whitman.
"Actually," Dr. Whitman said, looking up from the chart, "Savannah is going home today, provided she can sit in her car seat for an hour without having her apnea bradycardia spell."
"Really?" JJ asked, looking at her tiny baby girl in disbelief, "We can take her home?"
"Yes," Dr. Whitman said, "She has made leaps and bounds of progress and we think it would be more beneficial to have her home. We will recommend you have her therapists come to the house for a while until she is healthy enough to go to a therapy center, but we want her to go home. Now, she will still have her feeding tube, and there is a good chance she will have that until she is much older, even into her toddler years, but we will replace it then with a gastric tube that goes directly into her stomach from a small port on her belly. Do you have a car seat here or will you need to go home to get it?"
"We have one in the car," JJ said, tears in her eyes, "I can go get it now."
"Why don't you just hang out with the kids for now and you can bring it up after lunch?" the doctor said, knowing that Savannah wouldn't get to leave until the NICU closed for the night anyways because there were still two more babies for her mama to spend time with.
JJ nodded, staring at her little girl in disbelief. She knew this day was coming soon, but never imagined when she woke up that morning that her little girl would be going home with her that night.
However, while that night would bring new challenges, she had three little babies who were currently on a schedule that depended on her a lot. She knew the nurses and doctors were perfectly capable of taking care of her babies without her being there, but she always wanted to help so she knew exactly what was going on.
She would start be first changing all their diapers, then, the twins were given to the boys while JJ took Jamie to nurse him. Usually, one of the babies' doctors would come around during this time and check on whoever they were there for before talking to JJ about progress and potential setbacks. This day was like the others.
Once everyone had a clean diaper and fresh onesie on, JJ carefully picked up Charli, mindful of the tubes and wires, and turned to the boys, "Who wants to hold Charli first?"
When Henry didn't immediately claim Charli as his, Declan looked at his Aunt JJ and said, "I'll take her." The eleven year old boy carefully sat in the chair and put his arm on a pillow before accepting the baby who was quickly covered in a blanket to keep her warm. Declan smiled down at the tiny baby, dressed in a plain white onesie and a purple hat on her tiny head. He talked softly to her as JJ went to get Savannah.
"Sit in the chair monkey," JJ said to Henry as he followed her to the bed. The four year old scrambled for "his" chair that he had spent countless hours in over the past few weeks, getting ready for his sister. As JJ put the baby in Henry's waiting arms and helped him get situated, she felt tears spring into her eyes.
This was the last morning that would be like this. Once a baby was released from the NICU, they were not permitted back unless it was for treatment, because infants were so much more susceptible to illness and they were a distraction from the other babies. JJ wasn't sure how they were going to make it work, but they would have to until the other babies came home.
"What's wrong Mommy?" Henry asked, seeing the tears, "Why you sad?"
"I'm not sad, Little man," she said, wiping away the tears, "I'm just excited because Savannah is coming home tonight with us."
"To stay forever and ever?" Henry asked, looking up at his mom then down at his baby sister.
"Yep," JJ said, smiling at him as he began talking excitedly to Savannah about going home.
"You can see my room, 'Vannah," he said, stroking her hand gently, "And the special room Mommy and Daddy have just for you and Charli and Jamie."
He continued chatting away to her as JJ went and picked Jamie up out of his bed. He was getting so much bigger and weighed a little over four and a half pounds. He knew it was time to eat and was sucking his tiny hand as JJ picked him up.
"Are you hungry big man?" JJ asked, sitting down and getting him into position to nurse, "Don't fall asleep on me this time though."
Jamie latched on and began eating. JJ loved this time she got to spend with her son and looked forward to the day she would get to do it with her girls.
The twins were making slow but promising progress as a feeding specialist came in to help Will and JJ with insuring they got the proper nutrition and learned how to eat. They worked on getting the girls to suck pacifiers which were helping. However, because of the girls' lack of interest in food, getting them to nurse was hard. JJ tried every day with each of them and Savannah had been close for a while, but had never successfully latched on. Still, JJ knew they were doing what was best for all the kids.
As she felt Jamie finish on one side, she sat him in her lap, one hand under his chin and supporting his front, the other rubbing his back as she waited for a burp. He gave a nice burp, bringing up some milk along with it which she wiped off with a rag. She then put him on the other side and started the process again. Jamie was doing really well today and JJ was hopeful he would be on the road to home soon.
The only one she worried about was little Charli. The little girl liked to do things on her own time, from breathing to gaining weight. She had been the slowest to start breathing on her own, taking two weeks longer than both Savannah and Jamie. She had been the slowest to gain weight, still weighing only 2lbs. 10 oz. However, she was a happy little girl, content to be left on her own.
Jamie was by far the most demanding, wanting to be held whenever someone was around and always needing things to be just right. He would cry every time he had a wet diaper or his hat fell off or he spit his pacifier out in his sleep and didn't have it when he woke up. He was going to be their high maintenance little one.
Savannah was somewhere in between. She loved being held, but didn't pitch to be of a fit when she got set down. She didn't like having a messy or wet diaper and would let them know, but didn't scream about it until it was fixed.
Charli was Jamie's opposite. She almost never cried and was happy whether she was being held or not. JJ was shaken from her thoughts about the babies as Jamie stopped feeding. JJ was half expecting to find him asleep like normal, but instead, he was awake. She sat him up, getting another burp out if him. He looked up at her with his eyes which were changing from blue to green as he got older. His hair too had started falling out and coming back in a much darker color, closer to Will's.
JJ smiled at her son, kissing his forehead. He smiled a little as she offered him her finger to play with. She looked over to see how the boys were doing with the girls. They all looked fine.
Savannah was seeing Henry's arm and hearing, from what JJ could tell, the story about when he broke it. Declan was talking softly to Charli who was just looking at him.
Just then, the NICU doors opened and a man walked in who JJ had only ever seen on Skype, but recognized immediately.
"Excuse me," he said to a nurse, "Where is Ryan Grace McLean?"
"Are you her father?" the nurse asked, also clearly recognizing the man from pictures that were all over Ryan's bed.
"Yes," he said, "I got home a few days early to surprise my wife, but I wanted to see my little girl so I decided to come here and she will see me when she gets here."
The nurse nodded, taking him to the baby bed that held a now 4lb. 3oz. Ryan Grace. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at her.
"Would you like to hold her?" the nurse asked as he touched her little hand.
He just nodded and took a seat as the nurse brought the baby girl to him. He unbuttoned his shirt and took her onto his chest, whispering to her gently as he held her.
Tears were in JJ's eyes as she watched. The nurse snapped a few photos as father and daughter met for the first time. JJ got up, putting Jamie in his bed before going over to the man.
"Lieutenant James McLean," she said, drawing the man's attention from the baby he was holding, "I'm Jennifer Jareau, JJ. We spoke a few times on Skype. Welcome home."
"Thank you," he said, smiling at her, "I can't believe I am finally meeting my little girl. She is perfect."
JJ nodded, "I'll let you have your time with her. I just wanted to say welcome home and thank you for everything you do."
"Thank you," he said, "My wife talks about you all the time. You have really helped her through this."
"She is the strongest woman I have ever met," JJ said, "She is going to be so happy to see you. She usually gets here soon so I will let you spend time with Ryan before she does."
James nodded again, going back to studying his little girl. JJ had the boys switch who they were holding, taking Savannah to try to nurse her. Savannah came so close, but didn't quite get it and was clearly not interested enough to keep trying.
Instead, JJ just held her for a while before the nurse came around and reminded JJ it was bath day. She nodded, deciding that while she was bathing the babies, the boys should go play so after a few protests; Declan and Henry were headed down to the hospital playground which could be seen from the windows in the NICU.
JJ was just about to start bathing Charli when the NICU doors opened and Amelia came in. She immediately went to Ryan's bed and stopped short, seeing her husband in the chair next to it holding their little girl. Tears started running down her face and she walked to her husband, kissing him deeply and hugging him tightly. JJ teared up as she watched her friend's family be united for the first time.
She then turned back to her own family, cooing at Charli as she took off her clothes and placed her in the little basin of water, holding her head out of the water and she ran the warm wash cloth over her body. She was careful to avoid the wires attached to the little girl as she cleaned her. She then ran the cloth over the baby's head before taking her out and wrapping her in a warm towel, putting her under the warmer as she rediapered and dressed the tiny baby. Charli loved bath time and smiled for most of it. Despite being so tiny, she was able to hold her own temperature better than the doctors expected. She stayed under the warming light after bath to keep her warm while she got her clothes on, but her temp never dipped below 97.5 which was still considered normal.
Once Charli was done, JJ moved on to Savannah who was just as easy to bathe as Charli, but she didn't need the warming table because she kept her body temp up without help. She was happy during her bath and JJ finished quickly, placing her back in her bed.
She then went for Jamie who hated bath time. He screamed through the whole thing and JJ moved quickly to get him calm.
Once all her kids were clean, she went to the window to check on Declan and Henry. They were swinging on the swings happily. She smiled as she watched for a second.
She knew her babies would be sleeping for a while now so she pulled out some case files that she had had Emily bring her. Even though she was on leave, she wanted to be able to help out and take some of the pressure off the team. She worked through one file and was about to pick up the next one when she heard the door to the NICU open and suddenly, Declan and Henry were standing next to her.
"Hi Mommy," Henry said, giving her a hug.
"Hi sweetheart," JJ said, setting aside the file and hugging him back, "Did you guys have fun on the playground?"
Both boys nodded happily, chatting about all that they had done until a doctor approached and Henry smiled, hugging the older gentleman.
It was Dr. Goodman, the girls' geneticist who had always been nice to Henry.
"Hi Henry," he said, bending down and returning the hug to the young boy, "I hear Savannah is going home with you today."
"Yep," Henry said, "To stay forever and ever."
"Oh good," Dr. Goodman said, standing back up, "Why don't you and Declan go play with this while I talk to your mommy, ok?"
As he was talking, Dr. Goodman took a small box of Legos out of its hiding place inside his jacket and gave it to Henry. Henry and Declan both smiled, thanking the doctor as they went to set up the set.
"Thank you, David," JJ said, addressing the doctor by his first name, "You didn't have to do that."
"He's been here every day and has been so patient," the doctor said, "I just wanted to give him something as a thank you from me for being so good."
"Thank you again," JJ said, smiling.
This man had become more like family than a doctor. He came to see the girls every day whether or not there was any medical reason. He answered any and all questions and did more research than Will and JJ had expected. He helped get them in contact with support groups and he was working closely with the top expert in RSS to help learn as much as he could.
"I just came to see Savannah one more time before she goes home," he said, "I'll miss seeing her."
"You'll see her again," JJ said, "We already have appointments for the next few months so you can monitor their progress and you are like family. We will have you over once we get everyone home and settled."
"Thank you for saying that," Dr. Goodman said, "These kids are special. I love them like they are my own."
"I know," JJ said, smiling at the older man as they got up and walked to Savannah's bed.
She was sleeping, tiny, but amazing. JJ and Dr. Goodman talked for a few more minutes before he had to get to an appointment. JJ thanked him and hugged him before he left.
She went back then to check on the babies. Jamie was awake and on the verge of tears. JJ looked at her watched and realized it was time for another feeding. She picked up her son and fed him, happy he stayed awake for the whole thing again.
After he was fed, she realized it was about one o'clock and that she needed to feed the older boys.
"Hey Dec, Henry," she said, setting Jamie down, "You guys ready for some lunch?"
Both boys looked up from their newly constructed Lego car and nodded, carefully putting the car next to Jamie's bed to "keep him company" before they all left the NICU. They decided on Subway for lunch and that they would picnic in the park near the hospital.
After eating and an hour of playing, they headed back to the NICU. JJ brought in the car seat that belonged to Savannah, smiling the whole way up to the NICU.
When they got there, the boys demanded to hold the babies again and they passed the afternoon quickly.
At about 5, a few hours before JJ would normally go home, Alexa, one of Savannah's normal nurses came over.
"Are you ready for the car seat test?" she asked, smiling at JJ.
"Of course," JJ said, "Declan is holding her right now."
"Well," Alexa said, "If you want to give him Charli, we can get Savannah all strapped in and ready."
JJ nodded, tears in her eyes as she got up and traded babies with Declan. She then strapped Savannah into the car seat, making sure the straps were ready for her little girl's size.
Savannah seemed confused and put her hand on the seat strap, but didn't cry. She just acclimated herself with her new seat. JJ remembered when they had first put Henry in his seat. He had cried for about two seconds before falling asleep. She found it interesting how Savannah seemed to be exploring it a bit with her limited control over her appendages.
However, she reminded herself, Savannah was 9 weeks old and she was becoming aware of her surroundings, though the doctors said they would adjust her age for a while with respects to milestones because she was a preemie.
After about ten minutes in the seat, Savannah fell asleep and JJ stared at her, hoping her monitor wouldn't go off. She had only had two episodes of apnea and they were weeks ago. The doctors told JJ that they didn't think Savannah needed to be monitored once she was home because they believed the episodes to be a side effect of her learning to breathe on her own right after the vent came off. She had been doing flawlessly since.
JJ was interrupted from her staring at her little girl by the NICU doors opening and someone approaching her.
"What's goin' on Jayje?" Will asked, seeing their little girl in her car seat, "Is she…?"
"She coming home today," JJ said, tears in her eyes again, "As long as she can stay in the seat for an hour without an episode of apnea, she can come home. She's been in there for a half hour already and is doing great."
Will kissed JJ as they hugged, before Will went and said hi to the rest of his kids and Declan. Just then, Amelia and her husband walked over.
"JJ, Will," Amelia said, "This is my James. He's really home."
"I know," JJ said, giving her friend a hug, "I saw him this morning before you got here. I'm so happy for you. Does Ryan love having Daddy home?"
"She has been in his arms all day," Amelia said as James and Will broke off to talk to each other, "Is that a car seat I see? Is someone going home today?"
"As long as she passes this last test," JJ said, smiling at her little girl, "Miss Savannah Joy will be coming home tonight."
"Congratulations," Amelia said, feeling happiness for her friend, but also a slight tinge of jealousy because her own little girl would not be going home that day. However, she knew Ryan day would come and she was genuinely happy for her friend.
After a few minutes, James and Amelia went back to say goodbye to Ryan while they went out for dinner together for the first time in a long time. JJ and Will went back and took the babies from the boys, sending them out to play. JJ filled Will in on their day and before they knew it, a timer was beeping.
"Is that for Savannah?" JJ asked, looking up from feeding Jamie again.
"Yes it is," Alexa said, coming over to JJ and Will, "Congratulations, Your little girl is free to go home. We just want to get a few pictures, get you all the necessary supplies, and then you are free to go whenever you want."
"Will," JJ said, tears in her eyes, "We get to take our baby home."
So there it was. Please let me know what you thought. I am hoping to finish this up before I go back to school so expect more this summer. Any ideas/comments much apprecitated. Thanks again!
