Ah, my dear readers. You will never know how happy I get when you review within the hour that I post the chapter. That lights up my day and makes the hours of sitting in front of the computer, fighting through writer's block and refusing to stand up all worth it. Your "Update soon!"s really bring smiles to my face and make me a little bit happier. I'm always sure to put your requests into each and every chapter, making sure I please the people that are my readers ;)Anyway, once again, I am truly appreciative and love you all. So here ya go, what you all wanted~ Chapter 12.
Chapter 12
"Mom," I say in an even as a tone I can muster, "I can handle doing the laundry without your supervision."
"Katniss, I am just here in case anything happens." My mother says and sits down on an over-turned basket that Peeta likes to sit on and talked to me any other time I do the laundry.
I look up and narrow my eyes, "Mother, I am in the laundry room, what would happen that I really couldn't make it to the kitchen?" I ask, impatiently.
"Now, Katniss, please don't do this to me, I am here to help you because you yourself said you wanted me to come if for some reason you couldn't make it to the hospital." She scolds and begins to help me put the clothes in the washer. She lifts up a small frilly black lingerie slip , 'What is this?" She stares at me.
My eyes go wide and I blush beet red, "It was from our honeymoon phase…" When she looks skeptical, I snatch the slip from her hands, "Really! I found it a few days ago underneath out bed while we were cleaning and thought I could wash it." I hold the thing up, "You really think this," I say motioning to my round stomach, "could fit in this?" I say
She stays silent for a moment and then lets out a small chuckle, "Okay, I'll take your word for it." I begins tossing our clothes into the machine.
I feel the baby start kicking. Hard. Again. I take a few deep breaths and place my hand on my stomach.
"Are you okay?" My mother asks, concerned.
I take another deep breath, "Just dandy."
My mother nods and closes the washer, turning it on. "Well, I'll go to town and buy those things you wanted." She says and walks out of the room.
I take a deep breath through my nose and then look down at my stomach, "Come on baby," I whisper, "Just come soon."
I hear the door open in the den and walk in.
Peeta smiles when he sees me, "Hey, how are my two favorite people in the world?" He asks and walks over to me, leaning down to kiss me.
I accept his kiss and place my hand over his when he sets his on my abdomen and stretches out his fingers. "Well, one of us is doing just fine." I say, "And that is because they are nice and warm sleeping in a water bed inside their mommy."
He chuckles and kisses my forehead, "Well, you just must be suffering," He smiles and pats our baby, "Don't worry, it'll all be over soon."
I laugh softly, "Yup, soon," I untangle myself from his grasp, "It feels like it will never end."
Peeta comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, "Don't worry, only two and a half weeks left."
I let out an exasperated sigh and nod, "I know, but right now, two and a half weeks feels like an eternity."
He rests his head on my shoulder and sets his hands on my swollen stomach.
I sigh and stare at my body, "I am so hideous."
"No way," Peeta whispers in my ear, "I think you're beautiful, just the way you are."
I snort, "Yeah, fat and bitchy?" I pause, "but I bet you don't mind that my boobs got five times bigger."
Peeta kisses the base of my jaw, "No, your chest size before was just fine, not that I don't mind the improvement," He playfully nibbles on me ear.
I let out a soft moan as he moves his hands move onto my breasts.
He chuckles softly, "Well, that was beautiful too." He easily slides his hands through the sides of the tank top I am wearing and moves his fingers around inside of my shirt.
I breathe through my nose and lean against his body.
After a few seconds, I realize my mother could walk in any moment. I step away from Pet and turn to face him, "We don't want my mom walking in on us or anything." I say quickly and glance at the door.
Peeta laughs, "Okay," He leans in for a kiss.
I accept his kiss, but only for a second before I pull away.
"Let's go make dinner before it gets too late."
"Peeta!" I snap, getting ever impatient for his constant pestering me to do or not to do specific things.
"Katniss, I am just trying to keep you safe." He says in an even tone, but I can see in his face his patience of a saint is wearing thin.
"I don't need you to protect me!" I half-shout.
My mother silently slips out of the living room and disappears up the stairs, most likely to let us work this out ourselves.
He stares at me and then takes a deep breath, "Katniss, please I am losing my patience."
I feel tears pricking the backs of my eyes, but I am so angry I keep shouting, "No, Peeta! Didn't you hear me? I don't need you!" I shout and breathe heavily, emotion crackling in my voice.
He pauses as what I just said sinks into his mind. Once it registers, the hurt on his face in immanent.
I pause, realizing what I had just said. "No, Peeta…" I stutter, trying to back pedal.
"No," His voice is harsh and feels like a smack in the face, "You said what you needed to." He turns away from me and walks up the stairs, slamming our bedroom door behind him so hard that the pictures rattle against the walls.
I feel my lip quiver and that's when the tears come. I run up the stairs and lean my forehead against our bedroom door. I hear Peeta punch the wall. Hard. I feel small vibrations through the wooden door and open my mouth. "Peeta, I'm sorry." I whisper. I know he can't hear me. "Peeta," I say, louder this time. "Peeta, I'm sorry." I say, my voice cracking from emotion. "I'm sorry that sometimes I yell at you when I really don't mean to. I'm sorry that sometimes I push you away from me, because part of me feels that if I let you get too close, you'll be taken away from me again." I let a single tear slide through my eyelashes and roll down my skin. "I'm sorry that sometimes I upset you, because I never mean to. I'm sorry that I let my mouth get the better of me. I'm sorry I make it seem like I don't need you, because I need you more than anyone on this earth." I take a slow, deep breath, "And I'm sorry that sometimes I act like I don't love you, because part of me feels like if I let you get too close to me again," My voice fails me for a moment as the silent tears fall down my cheeks, "that you'll be taken away from me, but forever this time."
I wait to hear him walking to the door, to hear any indication that he cares about what I just said. When he doesn't come to the door, I turn my back to it and lean against the green walls, sliding down into a sitting position.
I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall, resting my hands on my rounded abdomen. I begin softly, quietly, as if singing to myself, but then my voice gets louder.
Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights are so long
I keep my eyes closed, but somehow a tear slides through my eyelids and rolls down my face, splashing against my neck.
'cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
I take a slow breath and continue.
That's when I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I look at you
When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
I run my fingers over the fabric covering my baby.
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone
Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I look at you
You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I look at you
I feel somebody sit down next to me, so I slowly open my eyes and look straight into Peeta's clear blue eyes. His cheeks are stained with trails of tears as he reaches out to wipe away my own tears.
I look at you
My voice is soft as I sing the final line of the song.
You appear just like a dream to me
"Peeta, I love you." I whisper, leaning into his strong chest.
He strokes my hair, "I love you, too, Katniss." He murmurs.
I curl my feet underneath me, brushing my fingers along the cool stone. Peeta and I had put a small gravestone at the lake for Prim. Today was the first time I had the courage to walk out here with the aid of Peeta and see it.
I hear Peeta's heavy tread off to the right, but I know that he is leaving me to talk with my little sister for now.
"Hey Prim." I say quietly. I take a deep breath and stare at the plain grey stone, "I'm having a baby if you didn't know." I murmur. My fingers trance the perfect words Peeta had engraved on the stone.
Primrose Grace Everdeen
Beloved sister, daughter, friend and doctor
Forever in Our Hearts and Minds
Never to be Forgotten
My lip quivers. "You know, the world isn't the same without you." I take a slow, deep breath, "I don't even know what to do when someone mentions you," I remove my hands from the stone and set them down on my lap. "I miss you so much." I whisper, "Sometimes, when I wake up, I think that you'll come bounding up the stairs screaming my name like you used to." The tears slowly slide out of my eyes and down my olive skin. "But then I realize that you're gone and you can't come back." My voice trails off and I feel my chest tighten. "I wish you could be here to see my child grow up, but don't worry, you'll always be in our hearts." I chew on my lower lip, "Can't you just come back?" I whisper, my voice filled with emotion.
There is a shuffle of leaves behind me. I sit straight up. No, that is impossible. I think and turn around.
Peeta looks across the clearing at me and steps onto the stones that surround the lake, "Katniss, it's getting late, come on." He murmurs.
I look at him for a moment and then nod, holding out my hand for him to help me up.
He grasps my hand and pulls me up. "You okay?" He asks, the concern is evident in his voice.
"Yeah…" Is all my unstable voice can manage.
He nods slowly, "Okay, but if you want to talk, remember that I'm always here for you."
"Okay." I murmur.
He squeezes my hand and leads me through the woods that I used to love so much. The woods that almost drive me insane when I am in them now.
Something must show on my face because Peeta pulls me to a stop, "Katniss, are you all right?" He asks.
I look up and nod, "Yeah," My feet quickly begin moving. I just need to get out of here.
Peeta quickly follows me, catching up to me within two strides and grabs my hand.
The stab of pain I feel in my body is sudden and causes me to let out a gasp. My hand flies to my lower back and I stop walking.
Peeta turns and looks at me, "Katniss, are you okay?"
"Ye…" I begin, but another jolt goes up my spine. I take in a sharp breath and close my eyes.
"Katniss?" The concern in his voice is apparent.
I take a deep breath and nod, "I don't even know what the hell that was."
He steps back next to me and wraps his arms around me, guiding me to the edge of the woods. "Come on, let's get you home and sitting down."
"Peeta, I think I'm having the baby."
Twenty minutes later, Peeta is watching over me, making sure that I don't fall off the couch or something.
I glance up at him and let out a soft laugh, "You don't need to just stand there and stare at me, Peeta, I'm not just going to roll off the couch." When he doesn't move I sigh, "Peeta, I think my mother was kidding when she told you to make sure I don't fall off the couch."
"And if I leave and you start falling off the couch, what are you gonna do, huh?" He asks, playfully.
I shrug and laugh, but another shock of pain shoots through my body. My laughter turns into a groan, "I feel like I'm about o throw up." I mumble into the pillow.
Peeta rubs his hands into my back and kisses the top of my head, "Don't worry, you'll get better soon."
The second he closes his mouth, I clamp my hand over my mouth and run into the bathroom. I vomit up anything that I had in my stomach and cough.
Peeta steps into the bathroom behind me and reaches out his hand to me, "You okay, Katniss?"
I nod slowly and take a few deep breaths. "Can…" I cough, "just take me to the hospital? I really don't want to give birth at home and have something wrong with the baby." I say.
Peeta wraps one arm around my shoulders and grasps my hand, "Come on, your mom will understand if she comes back and we're not here."
I nod and follow him. Right as he opens the door, my mother is there. She looks back and forth between us, "What are you doing?" my mother asks. She has a bag of groceries that she had left to get earlier. She said that the items she was buying would help em and the baby.
"I'm taking Katniss to the hospital," Peeta says quickly and glances over my mother's shoulder.
"Well, did you expect her to walk there?" My mother says, incredulously.
Peeta freezes and I know he is beginning to panic, "How are we going to get her there?" He asks, his voice is high with alarm.
"Don't worry." My mother says quickly, "You two are lucky that I have a car that I am required to have in District four for medical duties."
Peeta stops for a moment, "Wait, why do you need to have a car for medical duties?"
"In case I need to get to the hospital quickly." She explains.
"Hello?" I half-shout, "Your wife," I say, directing the comment at Peeta, "and your daughter," I say to my mother, "is giving birth, and unless you want a baby to be born on our front porch, I'd suggest we get a bit of a move on!"
"Come on Katniss, push!" Dr. Anphia says as she sits in front of me.
I take a deep breath and squeezing on Peeta's hand as hard as I can push, "This hurts to fucking bad!" I shout and then fall back against the headboard when the contraction ends.
"All right," Dr. Anphia looks up at me, "That one is over, be ready in another few minutes." She says.
I gasp for breath and look up at Peeta. "I must be cutting off the circulation in your hand." I say breathlessly.
He leans down and kisses my forehead that is shining with sweat, "Anything for you and my baby." He says and squeezes my hand softly.
I feel a spike of pain go through my body and I clutch onto Peeta's hand, my voice ringing out through the entire room, "Peeta!" I cry out and push as hard as I can.
"Don't worry love, it's almost over." He says soothingly. I know that he looks up at Dr. Anphia, who just looks at him regretfully.
"Labor can last anywhere from thirty minutes to thirty hours." She explains.
I groan and let my head fall back against the pillows.
"Don't worry, that won't happen." Peeta says comfortingly.
I thought I knew all different kinds of pain. From physical pain to emotional pain. But this is an entirely new kind. I tighten all of my muscles and curl forwards, pushing as hard as I can, screaming anything and everything that comes into my head. The list pretty much includes-
"Peeta! Oh my mother fucking Lord! Holy shit! This hurts to fucking hell!"
Usually, I wouldn't even think of saying these words in front of people, let alone my mother. But I really can't help it.
"Come on Katniss, push!" Dr. Anphia says encouragingly and pats my knee.
Peeta kisses my hand and allows me to jerks down on his arm, pulling it in front of me. "When is this gonna be over?" I yell.
"Soon Katniss, I think you're almost ready." The doctor explains.
"Come on Katniss." My mother says encouragingly.
After yet another contraction ends, I collapse, falling back onto the bed.
Peeta squeezes my hand carefully, "You're doing amazing, Katniss, it's almost over."
Dr. Anphia leans back in the chair she'd grabbed about half an hour ago. "You're doing great, Katniss, just keep a rhythm with your breathing, sometimes that helps." She says and smiles.
I close my eyes take quick breaths , trying to recover from the last contraction.
The second I actually begin to feel okay, I feel a strong contraction rip through my body. I jerk forwards and clamp my eyes shut. I put all of my strength into pushing and shout, tearing Peeta's arm into the curve of my body.
"I see the baby's head, Katniss, you need to push!" Dr. Anphia says and moves her rolling chair closer to me.
"What do you think I'm doing?" I scream and slam my head into my knees.
"Katniss you can do it." Peeta says and squeezes my hand.
"Come on!" I shout and push as hard as I can.
The sound of my baby crying makes the entire world go silent. I lean forward and search for my child.
Dr. Anphia pulls the small, screaming child from my body and holds them up. "It's a girl!" Her voice breaks the silence.
My mother immediately starts crying and stands up.
Once I see my baby girl is all right, I fall back onto the mound of pillows and close my eyes, trying to ease my breathing back to normal.
I feel Peeta's breath against my ear as he whispers to me, "You're so damn amazing, Katniss." He murmurs, "You're so strong and beautiful and nothing could ever change that."
I smile and open my eyes.
Peeta kisses me and then looks up when Dr. Anphia calls him over.
"If you want, the father gets the choice to cut the umbilical cord." She says.
Peeta kisses my hand and walks over to the doctor who has our baby on a small sterile table.
My mother sits down on the chair next to my bed and smiles, "Hey there new mom." She says, tears in her eyes.
I laugh softly, that being all I can manage, "Hey grandma."
"I'm so proud of you Katniss." She says and pushes a stray lock of hair away from my face.
I smile, "Thanks, Mom." I whisper and glance over her shoulder, watching the doctor examine my daughter.
My mother pats my hand and turns around, "I'm sure she's fine," she says comfortingly, "Dr. Anphia probably just wants to make sure."
I nod slowly and close my eyes, getting more and more worried as each minute passes by.
I hear Dr. Anphia clear her throat and I look up.
In the doctor's arms is a small bundle is a pink blanket. "Here you go, Mom." She says, smiling and carefully hands my baby to me.
I cautiously wrap my arms around her. Her head is covered in a soft brown down and her soft skin is glowing under the hospital lights. I feel my mouth spread into a broad smile, "Hey baby girl," I whisper and looks down at her lovingly.
Peeta sits down on the edge of my hospital bed and smiles at me. "You're amazing." He murmurs and smiles at me affectionately.
I look up at him and smile, "You owe me." I say softly.
He laughs quietly and leans over slightly so he can see our little girl's face, "Don't worry, I'll give it back to you sometime." He winks.
I smirk and move over closer to the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to me, "Get over here, daddy." I say, smiling.
He smiles and sits down next to me, "Okay, Mommy,"
I look up at him and grin , "So, do you still like the name that we picked out for her a few months ago?"
He nods, "Definitely, I love that name." He says and wraps his free arms around my shoulders.
"What's her name?" My mother asks, a broad smile on her face.
"Well, a few months ago, Peeta and I both agreed on a name for a boy and girl, and we decided if we had a little girl her name would be Willow Violet Mellark." I say and look down at Willow, who is soundly asleep.
"Willow," My mother says with awe in her voice. "Beautiful." She smiles and squeezes my hand, "You're going to make a wonderful mother." She says quietly and looks at her granddaughter.
I lay my head down against Peeta's strong shoulder and close my eyes, keeping my daughter held up closely against my chest.
My daughter. Yes, that is what she is. And she is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.
"Katniss?" I hear Peeta's voice enter my subconscious mind. "Katniss, wake up."
I stir and then blink my eyes open slowly. My head is still resting on Peeta's shoulder.
Peeta's clear blue eyes looks down at me, his gaze has been nothing short of adoring for the entire day.
"Hmm?" Is all I can get out as I sit up and stretch out my long arms.
"The nurse said to feed Willow every two hours and it's been two hours since you last fed her," He explains and points to the clock on the wall that clearly states three.
I nod and lean back, "Well, where is my little girl?" I ask and look around the room.
"I got her," He says, standing up and walking over to the bassinette.
"Be careful." I warn as he slowly lifts her up.
Her small hands reach straight up and she immediately begins whining.
Peeta laughs softly, "Come on little girl, you're allowed to like me too."
I smile and hold out my arms for Willow. "Come here, baby girl." I say and carefully pull her into my chest. "You want to eat?" I murmur and motion my head for Peeta to untie the back of my hospital gown.
He quickly complies and pulls the knot out from the back and then sits down next to me.
I glance at him and bump his chin with the top of my head, playfully, "Come on Daddy, look away." I say, smiling.
He raises his eyebrows at me in disbelief, 'Wait, I've had a hand in making your child, and now I can't you without your shirt on."
I smirk and nod solemnly, "Exactly, now turn around." I say, giving him a mock-threatening stare.
He begins mumbling to himself about having been in my shirt, but complies with turning his head at a 90 degree angle.
I laugh to myself and carefully position Willow in my arms so that I can hold her with one arm and use my free one to pull the top of my hospital gown down so my chest is exposed.
After a moment's pause, Willow begins eating hungrily.
I laugh and look down at her, "Gosh, I thought newborn babies weren't supposed to eat like they had been starved, that is generally saved for teenage years." I say, directing the comment at Peeta.
He groans, "Don't even think about teenage years right now, teenagers are hell to raise."
I carefully poke Willow on the nose and smile when she stops feeding for a split second, but them immediately begins again. "You better not be hell for your daddy." I say to her, "I can tell now, you're gonna be daddy's little girl." I say quietly and glance up at Peeta who is staring at the wall.
When I tap Peeta on the shoulder, he brings his hand up to his eyes and turns to face me, "Yes?" He asks.
I chuckle, "Peeta, you can take your hand off your face."
"I thought you were just being oh so chaste." He says and then splits his two fingers apart so that only one of his eyes is showing. There is a playful gleam in those beautiful crystal blue eyes.
"Hey, I mean if you don't want a free ticket to stare at me with no shirt on, no skin off my nose, it's you who is missing out." I say, matter-of-factly.
Peeta's hand immediately falls to his side and he leans his shoulder against mine, "Well, I mean I guess objecting to you would be useless." He states, teasingly.
I mean my head back against his shoulder, "Yup, you're so right." I look up at him and give him a quick kiss. "Because I'm always right, isn't that right, Peeta?" I ask.
"Yes, Mrs. Mellark, I believe it is a proven fact." He glances down at Willow who has grown still and her small chest is rising and falling subtly. "Can you believe she wasn't even here yesterday?" He murmurs.
I look at my daughter who has her arms curled up in her body and snuggles into my chest. "Nope," I whisper, "I really can't."
"Well," He says and kisses my head, "Now she is and I get to spend the rest of my life with my two best girls."
I hold Willow close to me, adjusting her so that I can lay my head on Peeta's chest. "Perfect." I whisper and allow myself to relax with my beautiful daughter in my arms.
Awww, so sweet xD Sorry for taking so long. I actually started this on the night of my last post, but then I had terrible writer's block and was freaking out. Then yesterday I started graphic design and doing manips and stuff. I'm going to TRY to make one for RtF. But we'll just have to see how well that turns out xD. If it really sucks that bad….then damn lol. Anyway, I really related to this chapter because when I had my first daughter, her father wasn't there and I just gave Katniss what I never had for my first child. Thank you all so much for reading ;) And don't forget…..REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! (Oh, and don't forget to review ;D)
Love y'all,
Amber
