Plans
Chapter 12
They had left the station to have lunch but leaving was more for the purpose of privacy. Jane's fingers curled into her palms, the nails digging into soft flesh to keep from grabbing Maura's hand. The need for physical touch, their fingers entwined like the most intricate of fabrics, wasn't fading. Ever since Victoria Singleton's stalemate in the conference room, the detective had been waging an internal battle. There was still lust, still sparks along her skin, but, now there was this…need to be around her friend. She wanted smiles, moments of silent understanding, warmth, and security, everything Maura provided. It scared her. But not enough to stay away.
The restaurant down the street sold organic food and Jane, not thinking twice about tofu or kale, happily followed the medical examiner. She let Maura order for her, accepting that the choice didn't matter, she probably wasn't going to like anything they offered anyway.
Vibrant green eyes looked at her with wonder and a little nervousness but she was smiling, dimples prominently displayed like half-moons in her rosy cheeks. Jane listened to her chatter away about the health benefits of vegetable spring rolls wrapped in kale. Most of the dissertation went over her head in a pleasant, musical bubble because she just couldn't help herself from being transformed by Maura's enthusiasm. It was hard to keep her emotions contained although she wasn't certain why she should.
"The wasabi sauce is incredible, Jane. You will absolutely love it."
Folding themselves into the booth along the front window, they waited for the server. Jane laid her hands, palms down, on the table surface. The grin on Maura's face was contagious.
"So, we should talk." Jane hadn't meant to words to sound so ominous, especially considering the 'happy bubble' hadn't burst yet.
Tilting her head to one side, Maura's grin dimmed. She tucked a lip between her teeth, pulling it into her mouth but didn't say anything.
"I'm…sorry, Maur. I was out of line."
"Why did you act like that, Jane?" The question was posed simply, without inflection.
"I…" Jane swallowed, faced her reflection in the window, thinking. "I want to be more. With you."
Maura's thoughts scattered. Everything in her froze, suspended function of her limbs telling of the shock she felt.
Returning her gaze to the medical examiner, Jane intently stared into terrified green eyes. "We're…we've kissed, Maur. Twice. That's a game changer."
"It…doesn't have to be."
Her initial rejection wasn't as painful as Jane had anticipated, the sharp ripple down her vertebrae almost over before it began. Unicorns were not suddenly going to fly over rainbows; reaching past the blonde's ingrained protective walls was going to take more than an honorable knight riding the trusty steed. The challenges, laid out one after the other, were daunting but Detective Rizzoli planned to do what she did best: persevere in the midst of hopelessness. There were decades of self-preservation she needed to cleave through, pain and fear she needed to soothe if Maura were to be hers. It was the price and she was willing to pay it.
Jane's eyebrow quirked. "Are you saying you want things to go back to the way they were?"
Maura shredded a napkin, the act so out of character that the detective covered up her smile with a fake yawn. "We can't go…forward."
"Hmm."
The server arrived and took their order although Maura's was relayed with decidedly less animation then when she walked in.
Jane forced her tone to be casual, her expression to be open and friendly. "You enjoyed the kisses, Maur. The way you kissed me back-"
"I'm well aware of the events, Jane. There's no need to keep stressing it."
Smiling wide because she just couldn't stop it, the brunette leaned back in her seat. "And you don't want to do it again, I take it? You don't want to feel my lips-"
"Honestly, Jane, what is your point?" she hissed, anger turning light green into a shade closer to olive. "We're friends. Let's move on."
The words were like tiny shrapnel scraping inside her blood vessels. Conflicting feelings rushed Jane but she knocked each one down, keeping her focus. "I've got a suggestion." Hope pounded in her chest. The pivotal moment in their relationship had arrived. If she failed to persuade Maura to accept her idea, then Plan B, involving duct tape and a cabin in the woods, would have to be employed. From the corner of her eye she watched the emotional turmoil flit over her friend's face and felt a pang of sadness.
"I'm not sure…what do you mean?" Maura licked her lips, the curiosity in her regard building. A second napkin had befallen the same fate as the first. The growing pile secretly delighted Jane.
"What would you say if I had a…solution-"
The blonde's eyes narrowed. "There is no problem, Jane, ergo, there is no need for a solution."
"Semantics, doctor." Jane maintained the unperturbed front, knowing if she as so much blinked, her friend would bolt. "I propose we date. Try it out, you know? Like a test drive?"
"You want to date me?" Maura shook her head like something was rattling around in there. "Do you have full command of your facilities, Jane? Have you hit your head recently? I don't 'date' my best friend!"
Inside she was jagged and sore but Jane kept the smile on her face. "Listen, Maur, don't make this out to be more than what it is, okay?"
"And what, exactly-"She leaned forward, eyes blazing as the pulse in her temple throbbed. "-is this? You know me, Jane. You're well aware of my…track record. I don't know the first thing about relationships-"
"That's not entirely true. We're in a relationship."
The words were grounded out through a clenched mouth. "We have a friendship. It is not the same thing."
Jane rolled her eyes, the effort to appear unfazed taxing her energy and sanity. "What's your reasoning for not having fun, again?"
The question abruptly stopped Maura's nervous shredding and Jane could see the wheels turning. "I don't want to risk our friendship over something as trivial as sex, Jane."
"Is that where your 'dating' leads to, Maura?" The words came out like one long, deep purr. "You and I in bed-"
"You are being deliberately obtuse, Jane."
"Look, hey, it was just a suggestion. I'm not trying to talk you into anything, Maur. I just thought, well, to be honest, I liked kissing you and I thought you enjoyed it too. Let's just forget it since it's obviously stressing you out so much."
Maura's eyebrows knitted. "I…did…I liked kissing you too, Jane." She said, a husky element to her voice that went straight to her friend's heart, easing the tension in her shoulders.
"Hey, here comes our order." She said, noting the ME's preoccupied look of concentration. She's thinkin' about it. Easy, easy, don't tip your hand. Objective reached. Maura Isles is thinkin' about dating you.
The server set down their plates and Maura snapped out of her musing. Jane camouflaged her satisfaction by digging into her lunch.
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Agent Blake didn't bother looking at her watch before opening the door. The detective had gone to lunch nearly ten minutes previously leaving plenty of time in which to question Victoria Singleton. Rizzoli was going to be difficult to handle once she returned to discover what Vanessa had done but the agent couldn't be deterred from her objective by the collateral damage that was sure to follow. The Boston detective was expendable now, her role in the operation fulfilled unless Vanessa found another use for her. Initially, she had thought of seducing the brash, slender brunette, eager to hear what her raspy voice would sound like begging for gratification. The thought no longer tweaked her curiosity.
When her investigation led her to the BPD, the agent knew Maura Isles would be there. She had kept tabs on her location throughout the years, knowing the law enforcement community wasn't nearly big enough; the percentage of 'bumping' into the medical examiner was more likely than getting mowed down by a delivery van. Naturally she wanted to be prepared in case such an event occurred. Yet Maura's cool beauty and sinful appeal had been a combination irresistible for Vanessa to ignore and once again she experienced the twinges of longing. She knew that the burnt out hollow that their mutual attraction had become could no longer be rekindled. One minute spent with Maura and Jane was irreversible proof of that fact. Whether the medical examiner and detective admitted or not, they were fused together, barring the way for others to approach. It was a large point to get past Vanessa's constricted pride. Thus denied an outlet for her pent up frustration, she decided to broaden the scope of possibilities. Until a suitable candidate could be found, the agent would amuse herself in other ways. Let's see how they react to a few mind games.
Concepts were already forming but the agent stowed them away as she opened the conference room's door. She sat in the chair directly opposite the exhausted witness and rested the bottom of her right forearm along the table.
"Miss Singleton, you're aware of your rights, correct?" She tapped two fingers against the table's surface.
"If we don't have a deal-"
"Nod if you understand me, asshole."
Surprise registered on her face and Victoria complied automatically.
"I will personally dump you off on the Fasano's doorstep if you don't tell me what I need to know."
The menacing tone and lack of remorse on the agent's face alarmed Victoria. "I think I want that lawyer now." She stated, her words clear.
"You're not getting one, Victoria. I don't have time to play with you. Tell me what you know, right the fuck now or I will make you wish you had. Do you understand me?"
The agent's body language did not match the harsh words coming out of her mouth. Her expression was calm, betraying not one hint of the threatening tone in her voice, a dichotomy that left the witness very, very afraid. Suddenly the realization that the Federal agent was circumventing her rights dawned upon her.
"I'm not going to say another fucking word, bitch." Victoria hissed, careful to keep her hands in her lap, her posture non-aggressive.
"I think you will, Victoria, because if you don't, you'll be dead. I can promise you that. You have ten seconds to decide. I'm the only one that can help you."
"I'm not stupid, you know." She said, her eyes locked with the agent's. "There's video and audio surveillance in this room. My lawyer will have a fucking field day with this little exchange."
The amused glint Agent Blake's eyes penetrated Victoria's self-righteousness.
"Is that so?" The statement hung between them. "Five seconds left. Either tell me what you want to know or I make a call to Fasano's organization."
"I need a guarantee, Blake. How do I know you won't just fuck me over after I've told you everything?"
"I'll place you in witness protection. Five seconds."
"Fuck, wait-"
"Four…three-"
"Okay, god damnit, okay."
Agent Blake once again tapped two fingers on the table's surface.
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No more was said about dating, much to Maura's relief. The vibration of her feelings taunted her, a stark reminder that she wasn't nearly as proficient in compartmentalizing as she had once been. Perhaps Jane's involvement was the key, the catalyst that had broken down some of the medical examiner's walls. Maura had never experienced the duality of friendship and sexual attraction with one person; it had always been an either/or choice. The possibility that someone could satisfy both roles of lover and friend seemed highly improbable to the medical examiner. The variables were too numerous and risky to allow Maura much confidence in a fruitful outcome and yet, the allure of such an 'experiment' greatly awakened her interest.
To indulge her innermost yearnings, albeit in a fantasy, was enough to send a painfully erotic shiver through her body. Every sexual encounter had been different in intensity and duration for Maura although she always upheld a detachment. I am already attached to Jane through friendship. How can I keep that separate from having sex with her?
She didn't pinpoint the exact moment the idea of being Jane's lover while keeping her friendship had moved from impossibility to active consideration. The scientist within her went to work, applying analytical theorization while the woman in her searched for emotional justification.
