Chapter 12

Myocardial memory

"I thought they would be a little more discreet while doing what they are… doing." Sheldon uttered with surprise. "It seems as if they aren't ashamed of their monkey business." He look at the other side, hiding the bright red color of his cheeks.

"Bonobos are not particularly decorous; when the female of the species shows her swollen perineal skin, the male just can't help it." Said Amy matter-of-factly. "After all, they are wild animals in heat".

"Please Amy! Don't stare at them!" Sheldon cautioned with concern. "I'm starting to believe you're into monkey pornography".

"C'mon! I'm not into monkey pornography as you called it. This is plain scientific curiosity" Amy frowned and crossed her arms. "They're great apes and I'm interested in their behavior. Sexuality is an important aspect of their lives. That's usually the case with most primates!" Amy sighed as she looked at Sheldon. "Anyway, I better get used to their interactions if I want to study them in their natural habitat".

"Their… natural habitat?" Sheldon stammered. "Amy! They're endemic fauna of the Congo". He swallowed hard. "You have to travel to Africa in order to study them".

"Yes! I know it!" Amy turned around and looked at Sheldon. "I might want to do that! There's actually a lot of things that I've always wanted to do, but I didn't have the time or the motivation." Amy's eyes shined with nostalgia when she remembered those dreams she once had. She's given up on so many of her dreams lately. "I don't know. My situation is different now. I'm free and ... the world is full of options".

Sheldon's eyes darkened with sadness, knowing he was out of Amy's plans, for good. "So, when are you planning on leaving for Congo? You need some vaccines before you travel. Have you been vaccinated?" He asked with concern.

"Sheldon, I haven't say I was planning on leaving" Amy replied with a high pitched voice. "It's just that… There are so many places I've never been to and things I've never done before". She added softly, almost sighing.

"Dear Lord, those monkeys won't stop! Amy, we should leave this place!" In an attempt to get away from the indecent bonobos, Sheldon unconsciously reached out his hand to Amy, as he very seldom did.

Amy stared at Sheldon's hand for a few seconds, struggling not to hold it. Finally, rational Amy won the battle against emotional Amy, she couldn't hold Sheldon's hand.

"You're right! We better get going. Dr. Sengupta must be waiting for you". She walked rapidly towards the exit door. "We need to know what's going on with your heart". Amy's own heart pounded in her chest when she thought about Sheldon's condition.

Sheldon had tried hard not to think about his doctor's appointment, at least for a while. He had focused his attention on their visit to the zoo, but not even the koalas or those scandalous monkeys could loosen up the knot that formed in his throat every time he thought about that insidious heart problem. He was permanently concerned about his health but he haven't seen that coming.

If the truth be told, his heart was never as reliable as his exceptional brain. He could always count on the lucidness of his superior mental faculties but, sometimes his heart acted like a hippie getting high on LSD.

Of course, Sheldon knew the brain is the organ that ultimately controls the cardiac physiology, however, there are thousands of sensory neurons located in the heart which send information from the myocardium to the brain, and that could explain why his heart seemed to have a mind of his own, sometimes.

Thanks to his eidetic memory, Sheldon clearly recalled every time his heart physically ached when he underwent emotional situations.

For instance, when Pop-pop (his maternal grandfather) passed away, Sheldon thought that the pain he felt was enough to cause his little five year old heart to dry up and shrink to the size of a raisin. Christmas was never the same without his Pop-pop.

"How I hate raisins!" Maybe, that's one of the reasons he wasn't a fan of raisins, he thought aloud.

Sheldon shook his head trying to maintain his train of thought as Amy was driving him to the hospital in complete silence.

When he was fourteen and he had to cope with the loss of his father, Sheldon had experienced a similar sensation.

Besides the feeling of inadequacy he had always experienced around his father, Sheldon sensed he didn't get the chance to make his father proud of him.

George Cooper never cared about his genius son and his master's degree. No matter how hard he tried to make him proud, it just never worked for them. Sheldon loved his father and it still hurt to know he was never the son he had wanted.

After years of struggling with his emotional intelligence, or the lack of it, Sheldon had managed to reach some equilibrium, some sort of homeostasis in his life. His friends and specially Amy, played an important role in that process. He had to admit that the painful memories of his childhood years, didn't hurt as much as they did before.

It was ironic to realize that, in the same way that his heart ached when he faced unfortunate events, it could fill with joy and almost jump out of his chest when Sheldon experienced blissful moments.

His mother's hugs, Meemaw's cookies, finally solving difficult equations, eating spaghetti with little pieces of hotdogs, Amy's kisses at the end of date nights, those were the short but delightful moments that made his heart beat faster, like an engine that puts his life in motion.

Perhaps, Sheldon had taken all those simple moments for granted and now, that his life was changing so fast, it all felt uncertain. Sheldon took a deep breath while looking out of the car's window. The hospital wasn't so far away.

Everything was changing, everybody was… growing. Leonard and Penny were getting married and starting a life on their own; a new life… a new home where there wasn't enough space for Sheldon.

Amy, his first and only girlfriend had left him too. She got tired of waiting, tired of wishing… tired of him.

Now that he needed her the most, she had abandoned him, just like everybody else. He couldn't blame her, it was his fault and he knew it.

Maybe Amy, would like to start a new life too. She could meet a new guy, a better one. She could meet a man who isn't afraid of kissing her or touching her. A new guy with a strong, healthy heart who will fall in love with her. Falling in love with Amy isn't difficult, at all. Sheldon thought.

Amy and that guy will meet, they will fall madly in love. They'll marry, and they'll travel the world as Amy wants it. They'll have a couple of kids and live happily ever after. He sighed.

"And that guy will have what I've been dreaming of" Sheldon mumbled under his breath.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Amy asked as she parked the car. "I couldn't understand you".

"I just… wanted to thank you for driving me to the hospital" Sheldon changed the subject. "You've been very kind." He added nervously. His voice was shaking and her eyelids twitched. "You didn't have to help me".

"Sheldon, you know I'll always be there for you. I'll always help you." Amy smiled sweetly, feeling how scared Sheldon was. "I want to help you. I… I care about you. We're friends". Amy whispered as she hugged Sheldon and softly stroked his back.

Sheldon was surprised with Amy's hug but he held her too. Feeling her soft body pressed against him and the sweet smell of her perfume was all he needed at that moment.


Sheldon sat in the waiting room, next to Amy. He was breathing faster with every second that passed.

During those minutes, Sheldon considered his options in silence.

Option A: His episode of paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia was an isolated incident. His heart is healthy and everything will go back to normal. He will live all those moments he had planned and dreamed about. He will have a long and healthy life… to win a Nobel Prize, to publish outstanding theories that will change the way we understand the world. Hopefully, he will live all those moments with Amy by his side.

Option B: His episode of paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia is the sign of a life threatening heart condition and all those dreams and aspirations won't come true. He didn't really have a plan if that was the case.

"Relax Sheldon! The doctor is going to call you at any minute." Amy assured him.

Sheldon looked extremely pale and nervous as he nodded.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper" The doctor finally greeted him. "Please come in".

Sheldon entered the doctor's office in silence, while Amy remained in the waiting room.

"Doctor Cooper. I'm very concerned about your results" Dr. Sengupta said severely. "I didn't expect to obtain these kind of registrations from your Holter monitor."

"What kind of registrations?" Sheldon was about to faint.

"Doctor Cooper, I need you to answer with complete honesty. Have you manipulated the registrations of the Holter monitor?"

"No, of course not!" Sheldon shook his head.

"Well, this is extremely unusual" Dr. Sengupta stated.

A.N: Sorry, it took me so long to update, but I've been a little busy and sick. Thank you in advance, for your reviews.