"WHOOOOO! I got that boom boom pow, them chicks is jockin my style!"

Shiiiiit, I was so effin drunk right now I would even bang that bitter fat ass Leah if she walked in right now. Man, I really missed hanging with the pack.

Everyone was having fun and doing their own thang right now. Ling Ling was giving Embry a lap dance, Lil Dreamer and Paul were grinding on top of the coffee table, and Sharonda was sliding down the strip pole that Paul installed in the living room while Jared and Quil threw some ones at her.

"So, Jacob, do you have a special girl right now, babyboy? Or do you want some Beth loving in your life?" Seth, UMMM Beth, said as he-she scooted over closer to me on the carpet.

"Damn hoe, don't be getting all up on me I don't want any of that! Go hit on Jared!" I said as I got up.

Hmmm, wonder where Sam and his deformed looking hoe, Emily, were?

"Hey, Jare-bear, where's Sam-bam?" I asked as I sat next to him on the other couch.

"Uh, Sam and Emily are Mormons now. They don't do this ish anymore," Jared explained.

"And how about Kim? Are you and that lil mama still together?"

Jared sighed and shook his head. "Nawww, man, we broke up after she made that sex tape with Ray J."

Uhhhh okay…Better leave him alone to be all sad and emo by his lame ass self. Jacob got better ish to do. I got up and went back on top of the counter and danced to Shake by the Ying Yang Twins. Embry got on top and joined me.

"Yeah, Jacob, let me see that tootsie roll! Yeah Jake, work it out now!" The drunk dumb ass said as he tried to shake his thang faster to steal the spot light from me.

BEEYOTCH, only the Jakesters can shake his skittles on this counter! Go dance with your chinky Panda Express hoe!" I said as I shoved him off the counter.

Man, I was really feelin it now. I shaking it real fast on top of the counter and dropping like it was hot.

"GO JACOB, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! We gonna party like it's your birthday! Have bacardi like it's your birthday!"

Yeaaaaaaah breezy, my people were screaming for me now! Okay, it was only the pack and their hoes, but eff that this was great.