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A/N:

Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews/favs/alerts this story has been receiving in the three month gap since the last update! As always, I appreciate all of the love and criticism that is shared. Also a big thank you to all those who sent me PM messages to get me writing again! :)

I am terribly sorry for the long wait you all had to endure with. Other things in life had cropped up and I found myself without any time to update. Also, I had to update my other fanfics, which pushed this update back, greatly so. I'm sorry you all had to wait so long for this. Forgive me? *Puppy dog eyes*

OK, So I'm writing this chapter at like 3 in the morning and I'm low on energy and everything, but I just had the biggest urge to start writing something and I figured this story needed that long deprived chapter that it's been waiting for.

Here is the result of writing this chapter with hardly any energy but with bundles of determination and will!

Sorry about any grammar and spelling mistakes!

Enjoy! :)


Disclaimer and Warning Note:

ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS FANFIC STORY DO NOT BELONG TO MYSELF OR ANY OTHER ORGAINISATION THAT I MAY BELONG TO. THE WRITING STYLE AND IDEAS OF THIS FANFIC ARE...CRAP. THE FOLLOWING FANFIC CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND SOME MALExMALE AND DUE TO IT'S CONTENT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE...THAT MEANS YOU!

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME STRONG SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE THAT MY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR TEENAGERS UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN.


"Just let me fix you…"


I'll Try To Fix You
Written by mpkio2

Chapter 12
You Want To Fix Me?

Lightness…

The first thing I sense as I awake into consciousness is my sense of touch. I feel as if my whole body is lightless, weightless, heavy, like a ton of bricks, like a feather, like I'm on clouds, all in one, all at the same time, all tied together in to an indescribable feeling that is hard to describe right now as I think and lie here on a….bed? No…it feels different to a bed…a couch…that's what I'm lying on. I soon realize that I'm shivering, that I'm cold all over, my clothes, my body, everything cold. But there is also this…warm sensation that is washing over my body, like the sun is keeping me warm or something. It feels nice, the warmth and it's battling with the coldness that has covered my body. I don't question it any further and leave it at that…

Next, my brain kicks in gear, as ir registers the very small fact that I had not noticed when I first realized I had surfaced consciousness…

I'm alive.

I'm breathing.

Blood still bumping around my body, all throughout my veins…

I'm well…well, maybe not…I don't know really for I am not fully awake yet; all I know is that I'm alive, cold, but alive…

But how am I alive again?

The last memory I can remember, the last thing I remember thinking was "I'm going to die here, here in this dark, cold, cold lake and no-one will be able to save me for I deserve to die,"

That's right; I was at the lake, at Stark's Pond, empty, dark, cold….alone. And….I jumped into the pond, the pond that had been frozen over because….I couldn't live the way I was living because I was hurt, hurt people, everyone, still am hurt and I should just die cause everyone would be better off without me, right?

Away from the monster…no more torture, no more hurt, no more sadness….just peaceful death…alone, quick and painless.

I should be dead now….

….but I'm not….

I'm alive…but how?

Where did my plan go wrong?

Suicide shouldn't be like this, right? You should be dead when you kill yourself, shouldn't you? My blood shouldn't be pumping around my body, my heart shouldn't be beating and my lungs shouldn't be taking in breathe and then exhaling…

So….what the fuck is going on?

I wanted…no, want to die, damnit!

Is this all God's doing? Does he want me to suffer even more than I already have? Does he enjoy watching me suffer in pain and just be overall miserable as I get hurt by the monster and hurt all those that are closet to me? Does he know that-!

And suddenly, quite out of nowhere, images, feelings, emotions start to return to me, memories that my brain urges with all its might to remember every detail, everything feeling, every sense working with it. I want to remember what happened to me, whyb I'm still alive. And slowly, the answer to my question is slowly unravelled as a image…no, more like a …feeling, a thought returns to me…

I hold on to their shirt and breath, slowly.

I hear it loud and clear in my head, like I had just thought it again, but I didn't; it's only a memory of thought from…yesterday? Yes, it must be the next day now, right? Well, I don't really care about that right now, for the feelings, the sense, everything returns to me that was all accompanied with that thought…

I feel the softness of someone's clothes…a red jacket? A blue hat? Yeah…that's what they were wearing, I can just about see in my mind's eye. And I recall feeling…secure. Warm. Safe. Like nothing could hurt me…the monster…

I held on to someone. Someone…familiar. They saved me….whoever they are. And…I'm sure….I'm positive…that whoever saved me, whoever must of jumped into that lake and saved me from the cold depths that was my grave….they were the same person that caught me in the cafeteria, they day when I didn't feel well and almost collapsed to the floor and would have if….they weren't there for me.

To save me.

They've saved me twice now…

But why? What did I do to deserve such treatment?

Who and why would someone-?

The familiar smell of Cheesy Poofs and KFC chicken enters my nostrils in an inviting manner, causing my stomach to rumble in hunger and anticipation of what it desired that had to be nearby. My stomach and sense of smell hadn't lost its functiability…

But just as my stomach rumbles slightly, my blood freezes, but not from the coldness that is still warped around my body, no; this is from fear, shock and horror. Horror of the memory, images, senses that return to me, slowly and gradually, my heart now beating hard between my ribcage as the images, senses light up in my mind's eye like a light bulb…

I smell the armour of Cheesy Poofs and KFC...

No…

It couldn't have been-!

Not him!

Why would he-?

He hates me!

I hate him!

Why-?

OK, calm down, Kyle. Maybe you've got it all wrong; maybe it's someone else. Maybe someone else who like Cheesy Poofs and KKFC saved you. I mean, it's plausible, right? Lots of people like KFC and Cheesy Poofs so you have nothing to worry about…

As I slowly open my eyes, my reassurance to the identity who saved me, slowly falters as I am welcomed to a yellow ceiling. I look to my left and my eyes fall onto a yellow wall, a picture of three people (I can't see who's in the picture for the lighting in the room, I realize, is really poor…) hung up alone.

I slowly move my head to the right, feeling the coldness still all over my body, but also feeling that warm feeling as well, and I am look upon a familiar looking TV, sitting on a very familiar looking wooden table. ..

Shit no…

I can't be in…

…Cartman's house?

And even though the answer is right there in front of me, screaming in my face, I stubbornly doubt its existence, as if it was a mirage, a trick of my mind, a dream even…no, a nightmare that I really wanted to wake up from….though I know I can never wake up from this nightmare that is my life; I tried to end it, didn't I? I'm still in this nightmare…

But that would mean-?

No-?

Cartman s-s-saved me?

He couldn't have; he hates me! He's always wanted to kill me! So why would he ruin such a chance to get rid of me? Ugh, this doesn't make any fucking sense!

As I my eyes take in more of the room that I am currently in, the answer to the source of the warm sensation is found; a small radiator is stationed right beside me, probably on full blast, warming my body up. It feels nice, but the question still remains; why is it on in the first place?

My body shakes to answer and I inwardly kick myself for being so stupid; I'm supposed to be the smartest kid in my class and I asked that question! I worry about my intelligence, greatly. Of course, Kyle! I'm so cold because I'm jumped into a below freezing lake! That's why I'm shaking all over and…now that I my sense of touch is returning and enhancing more, I realize a…wetness that is soaked all over my body…on my clothes, on my skin…

Well, that would make sense; I did jump into a lake after all and, naturally, I would get wet.

The smell of KFC lingers in the air and my stomach rumbles yet again. Slowly, giving into my need of food and hunger, I slowly turn over my body and turn into a sitting position on the…yes….the couch that I was previously lying on. As I do this action however, my head thumps loudly. I grab a hold my head, as a strong pain spreads throughout my upper body; I have ahead-ache.

I want to eat…but the pain is so bad, so strong that I just don't have the strength to get up and walk in the direction where that delicious aroma is coming from.

I sit still for a while, hoping the pain would disappear on its own; it decreases but in no way disappears.

I can always shout out for help….but I don't want Cartman to see me like this? Not wanting his help! He would laugh at me and would taunt me for the rest of my life! I can't…no, won't ask for his help! I'll just stand up on my own!

And I do, very wobbly and weakly I should add, but I accomplish the action, none the less. As I stand to my full height, I feel the pain return in full force, the room going dizzy at the same time. I fumble on the spot, swaying to my right and, just as I felt like I was about to fall, hold onto the said of a wall to keep me up right and balanced. I sneeze, temporarily losing my balance in the process, and grab back hold onto the wall.

Fuck.

I have a cold.

That would explain the dizziness and headache.

But still…

My stomach rumbles.

I'm hungry.

The, what appears to be, kitchen is right in front of me, only a few feet away. Through the bad lighting, I can just about see the outline of the sink, the counter top where a few plates and cups are stacked, the window in front, rain droplets falling down along the glass.

With as much strength as I can muster as much pain as I can endure, I walk forward, the room spinning, my head banging, my stomach rumbling, towards my destination. I, surprisingly, make it all in one piece.

The kitchen is in complete darkness, as if no-one was home. Come to think of it, the living room, from where I just walked from, had the lights on, but very dimly. Isn't anyone home or something? Maybe I should call out, just to see if anyone is in…

My stomach rumbles.

Then again, maybe I should eat first…

To my right, the kitchen table is laid bare except for a red and white KFC bucket in which the delicious smell of chicken is coming from. I follow my nose and stomach and reach the table, lightning temporarily lighting up the room. I look within the bucket, the smell hitting me full in my face, my mouth watering from what I within the KFC bucket; chicken that has all the skin peeled off, eaten I assume by that asshole.

No doubt about it.

This is Cartman's house.

Figuring "beggars can't be choosers", I sit myself down, slowly, my head swaying a bit from side to side from the shift in balance, on a chair behind the kitchen table, pulling the KFC bucket towards myself and, literally, eating down the still-warm-skin-eaten chicken. I savour the taste, the feel of the warm meat as I chew it with my teeth.

Man, I'm so fucking hungry! Thank God I didn't have to ask Cartman for food; I'm so hungry I might just had to if food wasn't offered on the table for me. Good thing it- wait…is this food even for me? Maybe it's for his mother and not me? But I'm so hungry; I need to eat.

I had only realized I had stopped eating, the chicken in my hand lowering, my teeth no longer chewing the meat in my mouth, guilt halting my actions. Promising myself that I would repay Cartman's mom the food I am eating with money (That I am sure I have in my backpack somewhere…), I continue eating, enjoying the taste and all…

"And just what the fuck do you think you're doing, Jew?" I hear that familiar angry voice say from behind me. I jump, not expecting anyone to barge in like that and starlt me.

I turn my head slowly; my eye's just able to make out the outline of the asshole that is Eric Cartman. A distasteful expression covers my face…

"Eating," I answer, simply, my heading turning back round to do just that.

"Don't get fucking smart with me, Kahl!" Cartman yells angrily, light filling the room, everything now seen perfectly with my eyes; he must of turned on the light switch…..why didn't I think of that? "Why are you eating MY KFC? No-one said you could eat MY food, did they?"

I stop eating and turn to face him, his arms crossed as if he was a parent scolding a child for misbehaving or something. My blood boils just thinking about how much he must be loving this; seeing me weak and telling me off….bastard…

"I thought it was for me," I reply in a simple voice. "It was an honest mistake," I stand; why? I really don't know….because I don't want to think he is dominating me, standing over me….the monster over me, dominating like usual, I'm crying on the floor….no, concentrate now, Kyle!

"Honest mistake", my ass," Cartman spits out. "You took my food knowing it was mine just to spite me, spite me like you always do…"

This, genuinely, confuses me; spite him? I do not spite him! How did he come to that conclusion? And, is that sadness I hear in his voice….no I must be mistaken, my sense of hearing mustn't be back to normal fully yet…

"I do not always "spite you", fat ass!" I hear the rain, loud and clear, fall down from the heavens outside, hitting the glass on the window, sliding down it like tears. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Cartman looks as though he's about to retaliate but then, suddenly, he chooses not to. Instead, he picks up the KFC bucket from the table and carries it over to the kitchen counter over by the window.

"Nothing," I him hear say, almost in a whisper, his voice dark. "Whatever. Just….whatever…"

"No," I say in return, actually surprised and taken aback by Cartman's dark tone of voice and reply. No comeback? No Jew jokes? What the fuck? "What did you mean by "spite you"?"

I see Cartman sigh, deeply, his head down, his hand's resting on the counter, leaning over the counter. Time passes a bit and then, out of nowhere, he turns walks towards me, a glare on his face that looks nothing but nasty, both of his hands grab hold of my wet orange coat and push me towards the wall behind me, the back of my head colliding with my head, the room spinning more, pain spreading everywhere, a fist of air leaving my lungs…

"I didn't mean anything by it you stupid Jew-rat!" he screams angrily in my face, my eyes going a little unfocussed, my brain trying to stay conscious, holding onto his words the best I can do… "Nothing at all, alright? Just get the hell outta my house!"

And then he lets go, and fall to the floor, my eyes closing shut suddenly. I couldn't hold onto his words, no matter how I hard I tried to…


The next thing I know, I'm waking up, yet again, slowly but surely. I open my eyes and I met with the same thing I saw when I woke up the first time on Cartman's couch; the ceiling. Although the place is the same as before, there is one big difference this time, however; there is a person sitting beside me, a person I didn't expect I would see sitting so close to me…

Cartman's back was to me, his back hunched over his legs, his arms resting on his knees….well that's how it appears to me. What I really wanted to know what he was doing sitting next to me…he wasn't…no…he isn't worried about me…is he?

He can't be…

Not him…

As I gain more consciousness, I realize that something heavy is resting on my head…something…cold….really cold. But I don't care if it's cold because it feels soothing, nice and relaxing. I feel warmer as well, which is strange because I'm sure last I checked my clothes were freezing cold… I feel comfortable as well, all cosy, my head resting on…pillows, soft pillows.

The atmosphere and temperature in the room is different too. Instead of being dark, cold…scary…lonely….I feel content and warm, the room lit in a low warm orange glow, which is probably due to the fireplace by Cartman's TV (1) which is alive and well, the flames dancing here and there letting out a warm relaxed feeling around the room. Well, that is all see and feel when I look to my right.

But the change of temperature and tone in the room is not what concerns me; how this all happened and what actually happened is what I want to know…

I groan slightly, both in grogginess and as an attempt to catch Cartman's attention. The asshole turns to look at me and, upon seeing me yes are half shut and open, he smirks and stand up, to look down at me, yet again, with his arms crossed.

"So, you decided to wake up, huh, Jew?" He says in a taunting voice. "You sure gotta stop waking up in my house Kahl…the neighbours would start to think that I'm gay….like you are," He snickers, and I slightly growl.

"What the hell happened?" I ask in a dry voice as I lift my head up from the comfortable pillows, my head killing me, the room swaying a bit, the heavy object that was previously my head, falls to the floor. I look down at it and I discover that it's an ice pack.

"Why was there an ice pack on my head, asshole?" I ask in an accusing voice, glaring up at him, thinking he did something funny to it to humiliate me or something. "Are you trying to trick me or something?"

"What?" Cartman asks in a fake affronted and hurt voice. "I can't believe you would say such a thing, Kahl," His smirk grows wider if that was even possible. "Why would I do something like that?"

"Cuase you're an asshole, that's why!" I shout back, my head throbbing through the force behind my yelling. "Now tell me what the f- woah!"

Before I can finish my sentence, I find myself falling back down onto the couch, my head hitting the pillows. I'm sure my balance wasn't that bad? But as I look up, I find that it wasn't my bad footing that caused me to fall, but rather a fat-ass pushed me back.

"Kahl, you need to be more careful with yourself," He says in a fake concerned hushed voice, putting a blanket over my body as he talked. "You're not a good condition…"

I protest his "comforting" actions, pushing my hands up and pushing him away from my body, but being the fat-ass he is, he's obviously a lot bigger than me and, therefore, has more strength behind his actions, and so pushes me back down easily, my actions futile, myself unable to do anything but shout at him.

"No Cartman! Stop! I don't need bed rest! Get off of me fat ass! I don't need you to-"

And suddenly, I stop; stop talking, stop moving my body in protest, everything. I just stop. I lose my breathe, my heart skipping a beat. Cartman is over me, his face dangerously close to mine; I can practically smell his KFC- Cheesy Poof breathe – I stop myself from gagging. He's eyes are strong, angry, the reflection of fire dancing in his eyes. My hands are tied over my head by his strong hands, keeping me in place.

I'm helpless, I can't escape…he has me just where he wants me – like the monster…

I ready myself to receive a beating or something disgusting from him…

I'm ready monster, for anything…

"You're not well, Kahl," He whispers, gently, so unlike him. I think there's something not so right going on, like he is up to something. But then, I look into his eyes and I see it; behind all that anger, it's there. Seriousness…

Cartman…

Why….

What?...

"You're not feeling well, Jew…" He continues in…that voice…and it sounds nothing like him and…it sounds all weird. Stan, my Super Best Friend, should be here saying this stuff, not…h-him. "You have a temperature at 99c and is still rising…"

But how does he know this? How does he know all this? How…why…the seriousness is staring at me, the fire dancing in his eyes….my heart skips another beat…fuck…maybe I am sick; I do feel very warm, actually.

But how does-?

He laughs. But not darkly, like he's up to something, like he's laughing at me…he's laughing with me. What?

"Jumping into a lake below freezing would do that to you, stupid Jew…"

I can't say anything, but I want to, want to say so many things to him, ask so many things to him; How do you know? You saved me? Why? Cartman, damit! Why…did you….save me? Why-? And over and over they go in my head. But I don't have time to ask them anyway cause their going through my head so fast and I'm listening to him and I can't believe half of what he says or understand half of it, my brain not working as fast, not keeping up- keep up!

But can't say it all, ask it all, even if I wanted to for I am in shock. I can feel my lips trembling slightly, my eyes widening at everything he says, my temperature rises…still rising… my heart skips a beat, again…

"You blanked out when I knocked you against the wall; such a delicate little shit you are," He continues to say. "I put you back on my couch. Even I can tell you're not sell; boiling up and everything. I put blanket over you, an ice pack to your head and kept the room warm. You're not well, understand, Kahl?" He shouts the last part and all I can do is nod my head.

"Good," He replies. "Stay there and don't you dare move, otherwise…." And he moves his mouth towards my right ear. "…I'll kill you and you know I will," He lifts his head and I nod again.

Cartman finally let's go of my hands tied around my head, knowing and ensured that I will not go anywhere. I feel pity for myself for not able to fight back towards this fat ass and feel a little violated but, at the same time, comforted. I let my hands fall as I lie there, my head still on the pillow, not moving g at all.

Cartman turns to leave, his footsteps echoing around the room. But then I hear nothing but the crackling of the fire that burns brightly by the TV.

"Just sleep, Jew," I hear him whisper, no emotion in his voice, as my eyes fall shut, feeling myself loose consciousness yet again. "Just let me fix you…"

And for once, I do as Cartman commands.

I rest.


I hear someone crying…

They sound familiar but I can't put my finger on who it is.

But why are they crying?

What's happened?

"Kyle…" I hear. "Kyle, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you dumb Jew! Fucking forgive me…please…"

And I feel warm strong rams around me, feel tears fall and stain onto my clothes, my body fragile and weak and….yes, covered in, what feels like, blood.

"Kyle…I'm sorry!"

I want to scream back, wake up and shout back "I love you12, that I do forgive them for everything, but I can't move my body. I can't do anything at all. The only thing I can do is lay here, lay here and feel there warm arms around them, hear them cry out in anguish, not able to comfort them at all…

"I tried to fix you…"

I am broken goods that can never be fixed. I tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen to me. And this is proof of it; I can never be fixed, never.

But I am just as guilty for I did the same to them; try to fix them. They told me I should stop, to leave them alone…but I never gave up. And I failed.

As the familiar voice cries onto my body, I try…I try to whisper those same useless, pathetic words…

"I tried to fix you…"

But nothing comes out at all, and they are left crying, hold my dead body in their warm, strong hands…

"I'm sorry. I tried to fix you…"


A/N:

(1) I know Cartman doesn't have a fireplace in his living room (Or anywhere else in his house for that matter…), for there is no chimney in the long shots of Cartman's house. But, I am altering this little fact and saying he does have one just for the purpose of this story…

Another chapter done and dusted! :)

I think this chapter moves the story along nicely. Kyle wakes up in Cartman's house and is ill as fuck, but he doesn't realize this for he is in shock at where he is and his hunger, eats Cartman's KFC and then is pushed against the wall by Cartman? Why did Cartman push Kyle? Well, Cartman is hiding his feelings towards Kyle of course; he doesn't want to reveal how angry Kyle makes him, for Cartman sees it as a weakness that Kyle can attack.

I like the last part of the chapter a lot; the use of building a warm atmosphere (via the fireplace) creating the overall tone of the mood of the chapter 9Also, the rain had stopped at this point). Cartman reveals a little of how he feels towards Kyle, helping Kyle being mended back to health and all that Kyle feels is shock…and the skipping of his heart. LOL

And of course, I had to have Cartman refer to the title of this fanfic by saying "Just let me fix you…" Actually, through writing this chapter (And that part), I got a better feel of where this story is headed to and how we're gonna get there – it might be a bit longer than what I was expecting but whatever! More Kyman epicness for you. :)

Also, I listened to "Fix You" by Coldplay when writing this chapter, which might have had an influence of what I wrote…

Next chapter, Cartman wakes up the next morning and Kyle has a lot of questions for him to answer. More drama coming up!

Reviews will be appreciated as always and will be used as motivational and confidence boosters so please send them in by clicking on that green button below! Thanks! :)

Until next time everyone! :)