Ignoring the pain in his arms, Trunks opened the door to Capsule Corps with great difficulty and found four mutated namekians stood before him.
"Uh… who are you guys?" He asked.
"We're looking for King Piccolo." One of them answered; he was shorter than the others and looked a little like a pterodactyl. "My name is Piano, and this is Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum." He explained, pointing at his companions. "Now… please – is King Piccolo here?"
"Uh… yeah, he's here." Trunks nodded and looked towards the living room. "Through there."
"Thank you." Piano replied, and the four nameks walked into the living room.
Upon arrival they all looked around and a wide grin swept across Tambourine's face when he recognised one of the party guests.
"Hey, it's Junior!" He beamed.
"Hm?" Piccolo looked up to see the mutants approaching him, grinning excitedly.
"Aww, he's so cute!" Cymbal squealed, blushing.
"Haha!" Drum exclaimed and yanked Piccolo into a forceful headlock. "Hey Kiddo, how've you been? Actually I know how you've been and Dad's really pissed at you for it."
Trunks came up behind the mutants and frowned in confusion.
"What? Piccolo are these your brothers or something?" He asked.
"I don't –" Piccolo looked at the mutated nameks, suddenly realising who they were. "… Oh, you're his egg monsters aren't you?" He uttered.
"Egg monsters!" Drum snarled and tightened his grip on Piccolo, glaring at him. "You wanna show a little respect to your elders?"
"Shut up!" Piccolo growled, breaking away from Drum's grasp. "Listen – what are you guys doing here anyway? Did you know that Dad's trying to get into Frieza's sister?"
"But that's exactly why we've come!" Piano gasped, his eyes widening. "Oh no… We aren't too late are we? I mean, he hasn't… They haven't hooked up have they?"
"No – no you're not too late but –"
"Oh good!" Piano interrupted Piccolo and looked at the other nameks, smiling enthusiastically. "We didn't miss it!"
"Haha, that's great!" Drum beamed.
"I wanna see their first kiss!" Tambourine shrieked giddily.
"Do you think they'll get married?" Cymbal squealed, scrunching his eyes shut and clenching his fists in excitement.
"What the…?" Piccolo uttered.
"I call best man!" Tambourine cried, raising his hand.
"What? No!" Piano growled. "I'm the eldest, I should be the best man! You can be an usher."
"What? That sucks!" Tambourine frowned.
"I'm the youngest, can I be a page boy?" Drum questioned.
"No, Junior's the youngest." Cymbal replied.
"Yeah but like he's gonna be invited!" Drum argued, and looked at Piccolo stubbornly. "You're not invited Junior, Dad's mad at you!" He snarled and started stamping his feet in a tantrum-like fashion. "I'm the page boy!"
"What the hell are you talking about? Do you guys seriously want him to hook up with Frieza? Are you honestly telling me that!" Piccolo protested.
Piano let out a sigh.
"Junior – you don't understand." He said. "You've had a life of luxury living up here making friends with the Earthlings, but us… we've spent the last two decades in hell with him! Do you have any idea how grumpy he can be?"
"Yeah I mean… He seemed cool at first and we all wanted to serve him loyally, but after a couple of months, well we kind of realised he's… he's not that fun." Tambourine mumbled.
"Not that fun? He's a goddamn jerk." Cymbal growled.
"And he doesn't let us eat candy." Drum said.
"Well I don't think someone your size should be eating candy, Drum… but that's beside the point!" Piano replied, and looked at Piccolo. "So we thought that if he met someone, it might mellow him out a little – you know. Give him something to focus on other than being bitter and angry about being trapped in a kitchen appliance for three centuries, being killed by a minor, and well… … having you."
"Yeah, Junior! Thanks a lot for making him worse! Like he didn't have enough to be mad about already!" Drum barked.
"… Well… sorry about that," Piccolo replied. "But listen, if you guys want to get him a girlfriend couldn't you have picked a different girl?"
"Well Frikiza wouldn't exactly be our first choice either, but he seems to have taken a liking to her." Piano shrugged. "So now we're going to set them up."
"Yeah! So move out of the way Junior, we have winging to do!" Tambourine said, attempting to walk past Piccolo.
"No way!"
Piccolo stepped in front of the mutant nameks, glaring at them sternly. "This isn't happening, there is no way my creator is hooking up with a girl version of Frieza!"
"He is too!" Tambourine pouted. "And then we're all gonna be a big happy family and live happily ever after and you can rot away on your own up here."
"No Tambourine, be fair to him, Junior is still our brother…" Piano reasoned, and looked at Piccolo. "You can join us for dinner on Sundays."
"Yeah he's a lot slimmer than Drum, he'll fit in his high chair." Cymbal nodded.
"What? No!" Drum stamped his feet again like a spoilt child. "That's my high chair! I'm the baby of the family, he's the black sheep that turned his back on us!"
"Yeah – relax," Piccolo replied. "I don't want to sit in a high chair and have a family dinner with you guys, King Piccolo and Frikiza; that is literally the worst thing I can think of."
"Jerk." Cymbal muttered.
"Fine. Well you can't say we didn't try." Piano shrugged. "Now move out of the way."
Piccolo firmly stood his ground, refusing to move an inch as he looked Piano straight in the eye.
"No."
"Junior, we aren't kidding around." Piano warned.
"Neither am I, so I guess we have a problem." Piccolo said.
"Nope! No problem." Drum exclaimed and swiped at Piccolo. Piccolo easily dodged his attack and looked at Drum, unimpressed.
"Seriously? You think you guys can take me down?" He snorted.
Enraged, Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum all squared up to Piccolo and glared at him angrily, their fists clenched and their teeth bared.
"I'll… I'll just…" Piano took a step back, sweat dropping. "I'll leave this to you guys… I'm more of a note-taker."
As the mutant nameks took fighting stances against Piccolo, Goten approached the group wearing a borrowed set of Trunks' pyjamas.
"What's going on?" He questioned.
"Uh… I think these are Piccolo's brothers, and they want his dad to date someone but Piccolo doesn't want that." Trunks explained.
"Well does his dad like her?" Goten asked.
"I think so." Trunks nodded.
"Well then… That's all that matters right?" Goten shrugged.
"Yeah but… apparently the girl is Frieza." Trunks said.
"Oh, right!" Goten grinned, believing he understood the situation. "So they can't hook up – because your mom wants Frieza, right? And Frieza wants my dad and my mom and your mom… So there's no room for Piccolo's dad. Is that the problem?"
"… What?" Trunks blinked.
At that moment Krillin walked up behind the mutants.
"What's going on here?" He questioned, and watched the scene.
"Junior, this is your last warning." Tambourine hissed, glaring at Piccolo.
"Yours too!" Piccolo snarled. "Go back to hell – and take your master with you!"
"How can you be so disrespectful towards King Piccolo! You're his golden boy!" Cymbal protested. "You know, any of us would kill for him to have put as much effort into us as he did into you!"
"Yeah – literally kill." Drum snorted. "Like we're gonna kill you."
"Oh come on guys, you got killed by Goku when he was a child, do you really think you stand a chance against me now? I am King Piccolo!" Piccolo barked.
"Were. Now you're just a waste of an egg!" Tambourine smirked, and fired a ki blast at Piccolo. Piccolo didn't so much as flinch, he just took the shot and looked at Tambourine questionably.
"That it?" He challenged.
"Grrrrrr…" The mutants all snarled and start firing rapidly at Piccolo. Piccolo blocked their attacks, putting up with the fight for a few minutes before he finally decided to end it.
"Okay, to hell with this – I warned you guys!" He growled and fired back at them.
"Crap!" The mutants gasped, wide-eyed.
The four mutated nameks all leapt out of the way of Piccolo's ki blast just in time for it to hit Krillin… and kill him. Trunks and Goten both gasped and exclaimed,
"Oh my God! You killed Krillin!"
"You Bastard!"
"… oops." Piccolo sweat dropped. "I kind of fucked up there…"
"Wow… that could've been us." Tambourine uttered and looked at Piccolo. "This guy's tough!"
"Yeah it's a shame we're related." Cymbal sighed, causing the other mutants to look at him questionably. He looked back at them, and hung his head. "… I'm lonely."
Suddenly King Piccolo approached the group and grinned at his mutant children.
"Boys! What took you so long!" He beamed.
"You forgot to invite us." Piano answered flatly.
"Yeah we've spent like four hours looking for you, Sire." Tambourine growled.
"Oh." King Piccolo blinked. "… Yeah well screw you kids, you're just a bunch of failures."
Piano leaned over to whisper to Piccolo,
"Do you see what we mean now? He's a jerk!"
"Huh… yeah, he kind of is…" Piccolo replied.
"Well anyway!" King Piccolo put his arms around the mutants and started to lead them towards the kitchen. "Come this way! I found this new thing that young people are drinking – it's called beer."
"Dad, that's not that new…" Drum stated.
"Yeah and it's bad for you…" Tambourine said.
"Shut up!" King Piccolo roared, and struck Drum and Tambourine.
Standing not too far away, Frieza smirked as he watched the scene.
"See, now that's what you call parenting." He commented and looked at Trunks and Goten. "… Didn't your mothers tell you to go to bed?" Frieza asked, raising an eyebrow at them.
"Yes Lord Frieza!" The boys cried and ran off towards the bedroom.
"I do like a well-behaved child." Frieza smirked.
"Wow, look at them go…" Bardock uttered. "Hey Frieza I should have sent Raditz to you when he was five, then maybe he would've made something of himself."
"What? Dad! I – I can't believe you just said that!" Raditz gasped.
"Yeah well believe it Kid, because I said it." Bardock grunted. "Now make yourself useful and get me a beer, me and your brother are gonna talk about what it's like to be married and have children – you know, another thing you failed to do."
Raditz stood there in silence for a moment, his lip quivering as he tried to hold back his emotions, before he eventually broke down and ran into the kitchen in tears.
"Dad… maybe you shouldn't be so mean to him…" Goku said.
"You've sent your kids to their deaths on multiple occasions and you've been in their lives even less than I've been in yours, which is almost impossible to do so I really don't think you get to be all high and mighty here, Kakarot." Bardock replied. "Why don't you just go ahead and try to ride your judgemental cloud again?"
"…" Goku didn't have an answer, so he simply threw his beer over Bardock. "Jerk." He growled, and walked away.
"… Huh." Bardock grunted. He wiped his forehead with his arm, moistening the tanned skin that stretched across his thick muscles. He casually flicked his damp hair out of his eyes, then slowly licked around his lips and ran his tongue along his front teeth in satisfaction. "Damn…" He purred. "I taste good."
Frieza stood there in awe, watching, and dropped his wine glass along with his jaw.
"I…" Bulma choked, also watching. "I have to go to the bedroom – I mean bathroom!" She yelped and ran out of the room.
"Yeah I'll join you!" Frieza squealed. "I mean I'll - - … … Yeah, I'll join you." He ran after her, just as there was another knock at the door.
