Okay, two more chapters left in this one. I'm not going to do an epilogue because I've got a good idea for a sort of continuation in another story. It will focus more on Kelly and someone he meets in the last chapter. Thank you to those who are sticking with it and review!


Kelly was physically back. He was leading squad, and it felt good. No one had to watch his back, make sure he could keep up.

He was grateful his body had returned to where it was at before the accident. There were times he didn't think he would ever get to 100 percent. The frustrations of remembering what you could do but not being able to do it had weighed on him. He pushed through, worked hard and it paid off.

The leg would probably always be weaker than the other. No matter how much he worked it, the leg was a fraction off what it was. The rest of his body compensated, so no one could tell. Kelly, of course, could tell, and he was okay with it.

Small price to pay, he thought. He'd survived. He got to do the job he loved.

Shay worried less everyday. She still worried. That was the way it was between the two. Kelly worried about the blonde, and Shay worried about her fireman.

They were both on shift when the phone call came in. Shay was cleaning the ambo with Dawson. Kelly was playing cards with Casey, Otis, and Mouch.

Kelly felt the vibration of his phone...Jerry was calling.

"Jerry, what's up?"

"Kelly, now don't panic. Tom said not to call but I knew you would be furious if I didn't and well, you're a lot younger and could probably kick my ass. And you know Tom's older and doesn't have much ass kicking in him..."

"Jerry, what happened?" Kelly could hear the panic in Jerry's voice and it was causing his own panic to rise. "What the hell happened?"

"Tom had a heart attack. He's okay, I think, or going to be okay."

Kelly didn't let Jerry finish. He said he was coming and took off to Boden's office. Chief told him to go. Now. And call to let him know how Tom was doing. Everyone fell a little in love with the old pastor.

"Shay, gotta go. Tom's had a heart attack," said Kelly poking his head in the ambulance.

"God, Kel! Oh God, no. Call me as soon as you know anything. I'm off tomorrow, so I'll head up."

"I've gotta go, Shay. I'll call you." Kelly was running out of the station that familiar heaviness in his chest, hoping Tom was okay.

Entering the hospital room, Kelly could feel himself falling apart...seeing Tom so frail in the bed. Pale, looking so old.

He rushed to Tom's bedside.

"Tom," his voice was breaking, more words wouldn't come out.

The old man's eyes opened.

"I'm gonna kick Jerry's ass," whispered Tom.

Kelly chuckled a little, the tears coming down his face. So afraid for his old friend. Afraid for himself.

"Tom, you're gonna be okay, right. I can't lose you now. I just met you. I can't lose one more person."

"Son, I'm fine. The doc says they're putting some stent in me tomorrow. Should clear everything right up. I'm not goin' anywhere," reassured Tom holding Kelly's hand.

Kelly just buried his face in Tom's side. He stayed in the room all night, not sleeping, getting all the details from the nurses and doctors. All assumed this was Tom's wonderful son, so worried for his father. They weren't far off.

Shay showed up in the morning just as the procedure was underway. Kelly had texted her all night long.

"Kelly," she said entering the waiting room. She wrapped her arms around him holding on tight.

"What is wrong with me," he said wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Nothing. You're worried about your friend."

Putting the stent in took just over an hour. The cardiologist had a big smile on his face.

"Your dad did just great. Looks like he's going to be up and running in no time. He's in recovery, but you can see him in a bit. A nurse will come get you two."

Kelly shook the doctor's hand and released a huge breath of relief. He knew deep down he would have to face a time when Tom would not be okay. He was in his eighties, after all. But, thank God, today was not that day.

He turned to Shay and picked her up swinging her around. He kissed her on the forehead, and she buried her head in his chest.

Tom was released after one more day. Jerry would be his nursemaid, with both old guys whining and bitching about the arrangement, but neither would have it any other way.

Kelly and Shay vowed to come back their next three days off.

"Kelly, you don't have to do that. You two go have fun, take out one of those boats you work on. Do something." Tom protested not wanting his young friends to waste their hard earned days off catering to him.

"Don't be a pain in the ass," teased Shay.

"Does she treat you this way?" asked Tom laughing, already thinking about what he'd cook when they got to his house.

"Hell yeah and worse," complained Kelly with his trademark grin, knowing he would pay for that comment soon.

The next shift all the firefighters wanted to hear that Tom was doing well, going to make a full recovery.

Kelly was happy to tell about the stent procedure, about Jerry taking over as nurse, and about Tom arguing a little with Shay.

"You didn't warn him about arguing with Leslie Shay? What kinda friend are you?" asked Mouch.

Shay gave him a lifted eyebrow and he shut it, quick.

Everyone erupted in laughter, Kelly laughing the loudest of all. Shay punched Mouch and Kelly in the arm for their troubles looking at Dawson for a little back up.

"Don't look at me," laughed Gabby, "I know not to argue with you."

The days of normalcy turned into weeks then turning into months. Routine could be a good thing. Tom was doing great. The little visits from Kelly, fishing, cooking for his friend, really kept him going.

Life at the station was as normal as possible. So many calls, some with happy endings, some with tragic ones. No one seriously injured... twisted ankles, bruises, scrapes, cuts, minor burns...all go with the job of fireman.

Shay and Kelly were off for three day, not going to Tom's this time. They were taking a boat out the next day, planning to drink at Molly's at night.

Shay brought the mail in dumping it on the counter in front of Kelly as he shoveled huge spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth.

He stopped long enough to spot a return address label on one of the envelopes. Mr. and Mrs. Royce. Renee's parents. Grandparents of their lost baby. Kelly felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

He picked up the envelope slowly studying it. Fancy cream colored, heavy paper, his name handwritten on the front - Kelly Severide. Pretty handwriting, must be Mrs. Royce's.

"What's wrong?" asked Shay seeing the expression on her friend's face, knowing immediately something was definitely wrong.

He slid the envelope over.

Shay just stared at the names on it. Then she looked at Kelly tears welling in her eyes. No words.

Kelly slowly reached for the envelope opening it, not sure if he wanted to see what it held. He pulled a card out and stared at it for a couple of minutes. It seemed like an eternity to Shay. He wiped his nose and eyes with his arm.

"It's been a year," Kelly said passing the card to Shay.

A Celebration of Renee's Life - the top of the card read. It was the one year anniversary of her passing. The Royces invited those closest to their baby to celebrate the beautiful, young woman. Everyone was encouraged to bring pictures or funny stories. There was a handwritten message at the bottom.

Kelly,
I would love to see you and know you are doing well. Please come.
Love, Mrs. Royce

Kelly pushed the card away and in that one motion Shay knew he wasn't going.

"Kelly," she began wanting to talk about it, knowing he needed to talk about it.

"Not now, Shay," said Kelly heading upstairs to his room. He needed a shower. A shower to wash the vision in his head away. The picture in his brain of Renee lying dead on a steel slab, of his baby swaddled in a blanket not moving, not crying, not breathing.

-0-

"Severide, get your ass out of the car. Move it before I come in there," yelled Darden trying to sound tough through slurred drunken words.

"Andy, let's go back to the bar. Get your ass back in here," Kelly shouted wanting to be anywhere but in this place.

"C'mon," pleaded Andy with that puppy dog look in his eyes.

"She's not even really here. Let's get outta here." Kelly was pleading now.

"This is for you, bud. C'mon," Andy opened Kelly's door and reached in trying to grab his friend's arm. He missed the arm, grabbing at the air and falling on his ass.

"Jesus, Andy. Let's get this over with," Kelly said sobering up quick. He got out and headed for the rows of tombstones, not sure where he was going.

"Wait up," whispered Andy, running and stumbling to catch up. Darden had been to Corinne's gravesite several times, cleaning it up, pulling weeds, leaving flowers.

He hoped this would help Kelly get back on track. His friend had been on a rampage since his mother's death, yelling at everyone at the station, going through women like he was on borrowed time, getting drunk almost every night. It was a fast track to self destruction and he needed Severide to get off that road.

"It's over here," said Andy softly.

Kelly stared at his mother's name, Corinne Elizabeth Severide. Right there etched in stone. No denying it. She was gone.

Kelly sat down in front of it. He touched the name, tracing it with a finger, wishing his mom was there. Wishing he could talk to her one more time. Andy plopped down next to him.

It was the sound of Andy crying that finally broke Kelly. Andy's damn, quiet sniffles.

"Mom, I'm sorry I haven't come," started Kelly. "I couldn't. I miss you, mom."

Andy put an arm around his best friend, both young men crying with their own memories of Corinne. So began Kelly's grieving and his road to recovery.

They stayed all night, finally passing out on the soft grass by her headstone. Corinne watched over her son that night. And every night since.

-0-

Boat trip cancelled. Kelly was a hermit the rest of the days off, holed up in his room, not talking much.

Back on shift, Shay turned to Dawson for help.

"I don't know what to do when he gets like this. He won't talk, but I know he needs to. He can't NOT go to the memorial."

"Maybe Casey can talk to him. I don't know. You can't force him to go." Dawson hoped that Matt would be able to get through that Severide exterior.

"What can I say or do that will change anything?" Casey didn't like the idea of talking to Kelly about Renee's memorial. His friend was just back to semi-normal. "What if it sends him back to where he was?"

"I'm just asking because Shay wanted me to."

Kelly walked in to the tail end of the conversation.

"Can I not take a damn minute to think about whether I'm goin' or not?" Kelly stared at the two waiting for some response.

"Hey, man, sorry. You do whatever you need to do," said Casey.

Kelly sighed deeply. "Sorry I'm being a dick about it. I don't wanna go, but I do wanna go. If that makes any sense."

"It does. I can go with you," said Casey simply.

"No. I'm going. Alone. I have to."