Welcome to the wonderful world that is Chapter 12 of Ruled By Secrecy! And it's going to be AWESOME.

First up, thanks to ZombieMops, Rome J Wolf, Remus-Chocolade, dearmanica, Memories Left Abandoned, Gabriel Tunichtgutand passionate4pens94 for reviewing, PandaFusion and Gabriel Tunichtgut for alerting, and Swendaii and Gabriel Tunichtgutfor faving. This one's for you guys! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Not some pathetic, spotty, teenage fangit. So don't sue. ~3


12. Girlfriend In A Coma

Percy woke up. Which was not unusual, in itself. What was unusual, however, was the where, when and how of his awakening. He was lying on what felt like the floor of his dorm, just next to his bed. The sun was streaming in from above him, and according to his watch, which lay rather pathetically discarded beside him, it was fast approaching midday. Not that he could exactly tell; it appeared that he wasn't wearing his glasses. Actually, it appeared as though he wasn't wearing much at all.

Oh dear, Percy thought. He scratched the back of his head and hoisted himself up, feeling blindly for his glasses on his bedside table. Instead, what he grabbed hold of was a rather clammy hand.

Standing up and rubbing his eyes, Percy noticed with some amusement that Oliver was lying in his bed, in only his pants, face down. With no Quidditch to train for, it seemed as though Oliver was going to be catching up on all that sleep that he obviously needed quite desperately.

Percy pulled on his robe - which had been lying at the foot of his bed - and took a quick inventory of his dorm. Of course, Jack, Thom and Daffyd weren't there, and Percy only hoped that they hadn't noticed his unusual, and rather uncomfortable, sleeping arrangements.

Now that he was standing, Percy found locating his glasses rather a lot easier, and, putting them on, headed down to the Great Hall for a late breakfast. Or maybe he would just wait until lunch.

It was such a nice day outside. Summer was clearly on its way, yet something was wrong. The atmosphere in the castle was somewhat stifled. No-one was talking animatedly as they usually did, and it seemed only Percy was striding purposefully down the corridors with a cheerful smile on his face.

When he approached the Great Hall, there were already some groups of students sitting around the tables, chatting amongst each other as they waited for lunch to be served. He noticed that Kathleen was sitting with Jack at the Gryffindor table, so he decided to walk over and join them.

"Morning, Kathleen! Morning, Jack! How're you two this fine day?"

Kathleen looked up at Percy and scowled. "Fine for who?" she snapped uncharacteristically.

Percy was confused, and a little bit hurt. "We-ell, I mean, it's nice and sunny outside, and it's a Saturday! So..."

The grimaces on Kathleen and Jack's faces told Percy "Whoops, slow down there! Looks like you've forgotten something important!"

With a grim wave of reality breaking over him, Percy remembered what he had forgotten. Penelope.

"Oh, Merlin..." he muttered, blushing with embarrassment. "I, uh... wow. Um, sorry..."

"S'okay, Percy," Jack said reassuringly, "it was just a teensy bit obvious that you fancied Penelope. So it's understandable that you want to forget her... misfortune..."

Percy was shocked. Not only was Jack, a Daffyd Disciple, being amazingly kind to him, he had actually picked up on the fact that Percy fancied Penelope. And he even used the past tense. It was, Percy reassured himself, probably just a turn of phrase. As far as Jack knew, he still fancied her.

He frowned. Sensing his discomfort, Kathleen patted him on the back. "Don't worry, Percy. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Percy gulped, and nodded. He sat down next to Kathleen, and only half-listened as Jack went on for a bit about what a nice girl Penelope was, and what a great match she'd be for Percy. He noticed that Kathleen was looking awkward throughout this; she probably thought that Percy couldn't care less about Penelope. Not in that way, anyway.

"... anyway, I've got to head off," Jack concluded. "I'm tutoring some first years in the library."

"Tutoring?" Percy asked, confused and startled in equal measures. "What do you tutor?"

"Astronomy!" Jack said proudly. "It's my best subject."

"He's top of the grade!" Kathleen added, unable to keep the boasting edge out of her voice.

"Wow..." Percy muttered. "Well, don't let me keep you!"

Jack grinned and turned to head towards the library. As he walked off, Percy thought with a bit of a pang that he could see why Kathleen was attracted to him. There was clearly a lot to him that Percy didn't know. He also mentally chided himself for picking Arithmancy over Astronomy back in his third year. He was, of course, equally naturally-gifted at both subjects.

And then he ground his wand into his palm in frustration and silently cursed himself solitude for eternity. For Percy had just done something that he was sure wasn't right: the thought had crossed his mind that Jack was attractive. Attractive! Honestly! They were both in relationships, and Percy was quite sure that he would never be interested in any form of relationship with Jack, thank you very much. Jack was no Oliver. But he was definitely good looking...

As though fate was punishing for thinking such unfaithful thoughts, at that very moment - which must have seemed like an awkward silence to Kathleen, but was the equivalent of a Howler for Percy - Oliver chose to join them, and parked himself next to Percy, slipping an arm down his thigh.

Percy squirmed and gave Oliver a pained look. "Really, Oliver? Here? Now?"

Kathleen looked at them with amusement, before excusing herself - she had just seen someone who she had meant to talk to earlier. That's code for "You two are so sweet together, so I'm just going to leave you to it. Whatever 'it' is..."

As she took her leave, Oliver replied with "well, why ever not?"

Percy blushed. "I'm a Prefect, Oliver! And you... well, you also hold a position of responsibility! It would be wholly unprofessional for us to be seen engaging in intimacies in public, a point on which I'm sure you'll agree."

To illustrate just how much he agreed, Oliver slid even closer to Percy and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Percy sat bolt upright, looking firmly ahead of him.

"Oliver..."

"Percy, I couldn't agree less with you. I just want to snog you, right here, right now. Really. And I want the whole of Hogwarts to know just how madly in love with you I am."

Whilst his resolve was holding firm, Percy couldn't help but soften up a bit at that. But then, he heard Oliver's voice in his head: "Grow some balls, Percy!"

So Percy grew some balls. "Oliver, I don't think you can trust me with a public relationship."

Oliver laughed loudly, while Percy only grew more serious. "Trust you? Why the hell not?"

"Because... because I... because I thought that another man was attractive!"

This only made Oliver laugh even more. "Is that all? Come on, you can do better than that!"

Percy raised an eyebrow. "So you don't care if I'm attracted to other people?"

"So long as I'm always top of the list!" Oliver replied with a wink, adding, "By a long shot," just in case it wasn't clear how high up he wanted to be on said list. "So now you need to give me another reason."

"Well, when I was with Penny, I wanted a public relationship. I wanted that more than anything. But she wasn't ready for it... well, I think she was still a little bit in love with Peter. She wanted to hold on to him. Now, I don't exactly want to 'hold on' to Penny. I mean, I've already broken up with her! But I want to keep what shred of popularity I have. And I want you to keep your popularity. I don't want people to start treating you like they treat me."

"How do people treat you?" Oliver asked tenderly.

"They treat me like I don't exist," Percy admitted. "I mean, I'm a bloody Prefect, and nobody pays any attention to what I say! I'm smart and I've got authority! I should be respected and admired! Not ignored and laughed at!"

Here, Oliver opened his mouth to say something, but Percy was on a roll now, and he kept going. "No - don't tell me that I'm exaggerating. I know I'm not. I know what people call me. I know what they say. I have eyes and ears. I'm not an idiot... well, I'm far from it! I know that people don't like me! And I know how people work... if people don't like me, and you like me, then they won't like you! You're popular, athletic, friendly, and you're downright handsome, but if you're snogging a loser, you're done for!"

There were so many things that Oliver wanted to say. He wanted to tell Percy that he didn't care if he wasn't popular; he didn't care aboutany of that. But he saw how strongly Percy felt about this, and he couldn't, frankly, blame him. So Oliver restrained his tirades of unsurmountable passion, and instead just nodded. "If that's what you want, then that's what I want."

Percy smiled. "Thank you."

The Hall began to fill up with students, and so Oliver took his arm off Percy's shoulder, and instead they just sat together normally, talking as though they were just friends, nothing more.

xxx

After lunch, Percy made an executive decision and chose visiting Penelope in the hospital wing over doing his Ancient Runes homework. After all, he could get that done in ten minutes. Emotional bedside encounters with ex-girlfriends in petrification-induced comas take considerably longer.

When he got there, Percy was so overwhelmed by the sight of her that he felt like turning away there and then, and going back to the warmth and security of his Runes. It wasn't too late for him to run. But, Percy reminded himself, he needed to grow some balls.

He took a seat by Penelope's bed, and took her hand in his. "Penny... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry we had to end like that. I'm so sorry I didn't come to see you sooner. I know, it's been a week, and you must think I'm a terrible friend for leaving you like this. That is, if you even still consider me a friend anymore... well, that's beside the point. I need someone to talk to, now that Kathleen spends every waking moment with Jack. So can I talk to you?"

As he expected, Penelope didn't reply, so Percy continued.

"Well, all seems well with Oliver. But he's like me, more than he knows. He wants us to be public. I mean, I told him no, and he seems fine with it for now... but in a couple of months time? Who knows! He might get bored of keeping us to ourselves. What if he doesn't want to be with me? What if I'm not what he expected? It's all so confusing."

Percy waited for Penelope to reassure him, squeeze his hands like he was squeezing hers, tell him not to worry, and that everything would be alright with Oliver. But she just lay there, still as stone. Percy dissolved into tears, and bowed his head. He was slightly aware of his tears wetting Penelope's sleeve, but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

"OY, WEASLEY!"

Percy snapped his head up, wiped his eyes on his sleeve hastily, and turned around to face the person who had called him. It was Peter.

"Yes, Peter?" he asked.

Peter strode up to Percy and grabbed him by the collar of his robes, yanking him up to his feet. "Listen here, Weasley, she's my girlfriend. Got that? Fortunately she was petrified before she and you could go ahead with this silly relationship of yours. So when she wakes up, we're gonna forget that this ever happened, got that? It'll be just like normal. I'll put a memory charm on her, and she'll forget that she was ever 'in love with you', as she put it. She doesn't know what love is!"

"You don't know what love is!" Percy spat back. "If your idea of love is a memory charm, then you can forget happiness! Oh yes! And you can forget ever finding anyone who loves you! Although, I suppose if they don't, you'll just put a charm on them, won't you? Do you honestly think that you can make up for lack of personality with magic? If you were a Muggle, you'd be cold and lonely, and girls like Penelope wouldn't look twice at you!"

Peter's cheeks were red with rage, and angrily, he stuck his arm out and slapped Percy across the face.

Now, you can imagine that any normal person, when slapped across the face, would slap back. Maybe even get out the fists or the feet. But keep in mind that Percy is not any normal person. He is a Prefect.

"You'll want to show a bit more respect there!" Percy screeched hysterically. "I'M a Prefect!"

"SO AM I!" Peter yelled.

"YES, BUT I AM OLDER AND MORE SENIOR THAN YOU! Show me respect, or I'll be forced to report you to Flitwick! And we'll see what he has to say about violence in his house!"

By this point, Peter was primed for a fight. Almost taller than Percy, he was all brawn - although one must presume some brain; he was in Ravenclaw, after all. Percy was not giving in to his urge to kick Peter square in the crotch area, however, and before Peter could lash out at him, turned and walked out of the hospital wing, leaving Peter standing there in something of a daze, and unsure as to who had walked away victorious from that.

xxx

When Percy arrived back at the Gryffindor Common Room, it seemed as though the twins were pestering Ron - who was, for a change, not with Harry - about something or other.

"Stop it!" he cried in protest. "Stop playing it!"

Being the older-brother-figure in this situation, Percy strode up to them to see what all the fuss was about. "Fred! George! What's going on here?"

They grinned simultaneously. "It's Oliver's Muggle music doohickey," Fred explained.

"We've - quite cleverly - charmed it to play the one song over and over again," George added.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Very clever. Now give that here."

He reached out and took the Walkman from the twins, mercifully removing the headphones from Ron's head, despite the fact that they had been affixed there with quite a powerful sticking jinx.

Despite his better judgement, Percy put the headphones on himself, and listened to what was playing. Instantly, he recognised the distinctive voice of the singer in that band that Oliver liked, The Smiths.

And, of allthe things he could be singing about, he just hadto be singing about a "girlfriend in a coma", didn't he? Percy tried to keep himself from reddening.

Taking the earphones off, he put them down, and summoned the Walkman away from Fred's hands. "Where did you two get this?" he asked forcefully.

"Oliver's bedside table," Fred boasted. "He's off for a flight, so we thought we'd have a snoop around for that Muggle thingy of his."

"And any reason for this song?" Percy asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Yeah, 'cause Ronniekins's girlfriend is in a coma!" George said with a laugh.

"Don't call me that!" Ron snapped. "And she's not my girlfriend!"

"Yeah, right," Fred said, laughing, and high-fived George, who was laughing almost as loud.

"You shouldn't have taken this from Oliver," Percy scolded defensively. "And you most definitely shouldn't have been in our dorm..."

But it was as good as talking to a brick wall. The twins were off in their own world, joking with Ron about his girlfriend in a coma and several other things that Percy was pretty sure were in-jokes that he would never have any hope of understanding.

And so he turned and headed up the steps to his dorm in resignation. Finding Oliver alone, he walked over to his bed and sat down beside him. Oliver was poring over a book, which he hastily shut and shoved under his pillow as Percy approached.

"Fred and George were playing with your Walkman," Percy said apologetically, handing the silver disc over to Oliver. "Trying to be funny with the Smiths."

Oliver put the headphones on and pressed play, his face souring as he did so. "Dickheads..." he muttered. "Were they playing this to you because of Penelope?"

Percy raised an eyebrow. "To me? Oh, oh no! They were playing it to Ron!"

Oliver blushed slightly. "Oh."

"Yeah, he was rather upset by Hermione's petrification, I must say. And the twins seem to have gotten it into their heads that he was going out with her."

Oliver gave a forced laugh, and immediately Percy noticed that something was not right. "Oliver? Anything the matter?"

Blushing, Oliver shook his head.

However, Percy wouldn't take that for an answer, and, thinking back to the book that Oliver had been reading, pushed him to one side and reached under his pillow.

"'The Female Eunuch?'" Percy asked incredulously. "Women don't have…"

Before Percy could finish his sentence, Oliver burst into laughter. "It's a metaphor, Perce… !"

"Percy," Percy replied, someone grouchily. "What could a book be doing using castration as a metaphor?"

"It's a Muggle book," Oliver explained. "My sister gave it to me to read, saying that it would help when I started seeing girls. It's complicated."

Percy snorted. "Girls. Does it say anything about boys?"

"Oh, very funny."

"So why were you so embarrassed about reading it?"

Again, Oliver blushed. "Ah, it wasn't the book itself I was embarrassed about. It was, uh… what I was reading…"

Percy nodded knowingly. "Sex."

"Sex," Oliver replied, agreeing. Suddenly, apparently having just noticed something, Oliver reached out and cupped his hand around Percy's neck. "What's that?"

"What's what?"

"The bruise on your neck," Oliver said cheekily, grinning.

"Oh, that," Percy replied, oblivious to the obvious innuendo, "I was just in a bit of a scrap with Peter. He kindly informed me that he would wipe every memory of my relationship with Penelope out of her mind once she was awake, and that things would be back to 'normal'."

Oliver was visibly shocked, and forgot all about the mark he had made on Percy last night, which had culminated in them falling asleep together in Percy's bed, and Percy subsequently spending the night on the floor. "That's horrible!"

"Well, that's what I was trying to tell him. But, you know, some people just don't respect their superiors, Oliver."

Oliver laughed, despite the gravity of Peter's words. That was such a Percy thing to say, he thought. Smiling, he caught Percy completely by surprise, kissing him on the lips.

"We can deal with Peter," he said, "tomorrow."


TA-DAH! WHAT DID YOU THINK? Let me know by dropping a line! Reviews are loved, and you'll unfailingly receive a friendly reply. It's fanservice with a smile. :)

Author's Chit-Chat: Ok, to be honest with you all, I had no idea where I was going when I started the chapter. It's a bit aimless, as a result. I didn't know how to end it, so I defaulted to a bit of Oliver being cute. That always works. Anyway, I'm hoping to get back to the plot of CoS soon. I mean, this isn't just fluffy yaoi smut, there's actually going to be a plot here, mirroring that of CoS and PoA. Damn, so many "of"s. Anyway. The plot should come in properly in the next chapter; there'll be Percy a'patrollin', and Oliver a'longin', and a whole heap of angst. And maybe even some Ginny. Just because there are so many ways I can destroy Percy's soul. :P

So see you all then!

- Legs