Chapter 12

A/N: Two warnings with this chapter! Number one - it's quite long. I'm not sure if that's good or bad to be honest…xD Number two – There is smut towards the end of the chapter! You have been warned! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter so I hope you all enjoy!

Their purple sports car skidded to a hault at the Bludhaven docks, Mr. J not bothering to give any element of secrecy to their arrival. He emerged from the car, still in his full tux, and Harley popped out in a black and red crop top, jeans, and knee high boots. Her hair was in pigtails and she'd muddied up her make up a bit to keep up appearances. She spun her trusty bat like a baton as the couple stalked towards their prey, in no hurry to get to their stolen containers.

The gang of goons were dressed in all black with matching black ski masks, the attire of a typical amateur gang of hoodlums. They froze when they heard the car screech to a hault, expecting to find The Bat or his younger counter part who ran this part of town, Nightwing. Instead what they saw was far more terrifying.

"Oh shit!" one goon exclaimed. He turned to make a run for it and the Joker immediately shot him point blank in the back of the skull with his pistol, earning him a giggle from Harley.

"Harley girl, would you mind roughing up these rough riders for me? I'd hate to ruin my new tux," The Joker purred to her. The remaining four guys scrambled to make a run for it, but Harley caught up to one of them and cartwheeled up so her legs were around his neck. Joker shot the remaining men as they tried to run, two in the head in a similar fashion, but the last in the back of the leg, deciding to let the live one get back to home base and let his boss know they'd messed with the wrong containers.

"Hiya! Come here often!?" Harley giggled as her legs clamped around the man's trachea, crushing his windpipe.

"N-no!" He managed to cough out, dropping to his knees. She dismounted off the man gracefully and twirled her bat.

"Good! KEEP IT THAT WAY!" she spat as she swung her bat and it collided with his head with a satisfying CRACK! Joker chuckled and began to spray paint his signature green "Joker Was Here" onto the ground next to the dead goony, accompanied with a few "Ha's." He was just finishing painting x's over the dead man's eyes when a bird-arang whistled past his ear.

"Uh-oh…" he heard Harley mutter as he looked up from his handy work to lock eyes with a tall, black masked figure.

"Oh goody! Bird Boy's come to the party! How ya been, kiddo!?" the Joker addressed Nightwing as if he were an old friend.

"Better than you here in a minute," Nightwing scoffed as he hopped down from the top of a shipping crate and onto the ground in front of them.

"Harley, show our friend a good time, won't you?" Joker cackled, letting her rush past him to Nightwing wielding her bat.

Nightwing caught Harley's bat in mid-air, but she merely flipped over him, letting go of her weapon and spinning around to swoop his legs out from underneath him with her own. She moved to pounce on top of him when Nightwing dealt her a swift kick to the solar plexus. She "oofed" and flew back into the crate behind them. She made a quick surveillance of her surroundings and noticed The Joker was nowhere to be found now, which made her gut ache more than Nightwing's kick. Did he really just leave her here? Not that it would surprise her anymore, but she thought they were passed that point in their relationship.

She didn't haven't long to contemplate her escape route before she heard footsteps closing in on her. Oh right, she was in a fight. She growled and popped back up from the ground, cartwheeling out of the way of Nightwing's stun stick and over to where her own bat lay on the ground. She heard the whizzing of more bird-arangs and turned quickly to strike them out of the air like an MLB slugger.

"Home run!" she squealed with excitement. She was ready to strike again when she heard machine gun fire in the distance along with the roar of a familiar engine. A large black van was rushing towards them, Frost hanging out of the passenger window as the source of gunfire. Nightwing had no choice but to run towards his motorcycle and retreat as quickly as he could, knowing he was now well out-manned and out-gunned.

"Frosty! Ya came to save us!" Harley clapped then ran up to her knight-in-the-armored-vehicle to give him a hug and plant a kiss on his cheek. Joker hopped out of the back of the van, still in his tux, and opened his arms to her.

"Load 'em up boys! Harley and I have other plans this evening." He said to his henchmen and they obediently started loading the van with canister after green canister of gas marked "TOXIC."

"Mistah J! I thought you'd left me here a goner!" Harley exclaimed, running up to him and leaping into his arms. He caught her bridal style and kissed her passionately.

"Would I leave my wife in the line of fire without a back-up plan?" Harley elected not to answer since she wasn't 100% sure the answer was 'no' and merely kissed him again instead. He walked towards their purple car and set her on the ground before opening the passenger door for her.

"Ready to go home, puu?" He asked her as he loaded himself into the driver's seat. He glanced over as he started the car and noticed Harley's pout.

"Pumpkin Pie? Why the long face?" he asked. "You know I prefer my wife to wear a smile," he added in a darker tone, growing agitated with his bride.

"Going home means you going back to your office," she whined, crossing her arms over her chest and making her cleavage poke up out of her shirt. Joker eyed her chest and growled softly.

"Now Harley, you know Daddy has lots of work to do to kill ol' Batsy. Especially now that those little wanna-be ingrates of his are acting on their own accord."

"Can't you work on that tomorrow? You're SUPPOSED to be all mine tonight." Her heart skipped a beat as she heard him growl under his breath. He clenched his fist and punched the roof of the car but, even though she could feel her blood boiling with fear, she knew she could wear him down. "Besides," she purred, ignoring his outburst and leaning into his ear, "Don't ya think I should reward ya for saving my ass back there?" His tension vanished almost immediately and he looked to her out of the corner of his eye, a different fire now behind his steel grey iris. He took a sharp turn and changed direction away from their penthouse and towards one of their old hideouts across town.

"Whatever my baby wants."

"Bruce? It's me," Dick Greyson spoke into his cell phone as he paced his one bedroom flat in a towel, fresh from a shower.

"Dick? You sound flustered."

"Yeah. I think you might have lost something, specifically two clowns."

"The Joker and Harley? In Bludhaven? Doing what?"

"They were over at the docks roughing up some no name gang over some shipping containers. But the containers…Bruce they were all marked 'Toxic.' They're up to something."

"I knew it," Bruce sighed in frustration. "The Joker and Harley Quinn recently married. Legally."

"Woah. Took him long enough. What's his motive?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Thanks for the info, Dick." He unceremoniously hung up the phone.

The Joker pulled the car to a stop and threw it into park before killing the engine. Harley quickly exited the passenger side and looked around, her smile growing brighter and brighter as she spun around and took in their surroundings. He'd taken her to the run-down amusement park that had been their first home and hideout together.

"Oh Mistah J, this is so nostalgic! Perfect for a date night!" she squeaked. She ran up to him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. I know you wanna work on ya big plans tonight, but…I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks…" she kissed his lips and lingered there, her lips still brushing his as she whispered, "I miss you, Mistah J." She was rewarded with a grin and J scooped her up again, carrying her inside the staff room where their old bedroom used to be.

It was dark, with nothing but a mattress on the floor, some pillows and blankets, and some candles, but that was all they needed tonight. J plopped her onto the bed and made quick work of lighting the candles around the room before shedding his tuxedo jacket, tie, and undershirt.

Harley sat on the bed and took her top off, her breasts bouncing out, earning her a deep growl from Joker's throat.

"Did you leave the fishnets on?" He asked, sitting next to her on the bed now

"Of course I did, Puddin!" She replied, standing up and making quick work of her boots and pants to show him. She stood before him now in nothing except the fishnets and her red lacy thong beneath them and he licked his lips as he looked her over, the bulge in his pants now more obvious than ever.

Harley looked him over and purred, "Let me help you with that, Mistah J."

She threw a pillow onto the floor between his legs and dropped to her knees before him, pulling at his pants button and sliding his zipper down. He helped her shimmy his pants over his hips but before he could even pull them around his ankles her mouth wrapped around the tip of his member and he groaned aloud. His hand went to the back of her head as his cock throbbed in her mouth. She worked her mouth around what she could of his girth, using her hand to stroke what wouldn't fit. He bit his lip and tipped his head back and she opened her eyes briefly, daring to glance up at him. A giggle tickled in her throat, causing her mouth to vibrate around him and earning her another groan from the Clown Prince.

Suddenly she was gone and he contemplated shooting her right then and there for her neglect, but all was soon forgiven when she returned to straddle him, hiding something behind her back.

"What have you got there," he asked her, his tone gravely and somewhat impatient. Her only saving grace was the feel of her fishnets rubbing over his member where her mouth had left him.

"Lay back," she giggled, biting her lip mischievously, then added a "Please?" when her request was met with steely eyes.

He slowly laid back and closed his eyes, sighing heavily with his impatience. He felt something hot hit his chest and his eyes flew back open as a hiss escaped from between his silver teeth. His back arched, causing his member to rub up against Harley's fishnet adorned warmed again. He heard her giggle somewhere in the back of his brain but mostly he could just hear the blood rushing away from his ears and down south.

"Harleen," he growled in a warning to her, "Are you teasing me, you little minx?"

"Maybe I am," she replied. "And that's HARLEY to you, Mistah J."

"Ohhhh ho ho?" he laughed at her boldness. He would have to fix her right now. He reached up and gripped her hair, tossing her aside, the unlit candle crashing to the floor and breaking. Her heart stopped for a split second and she feared for her life before registering that he'd tossed her onto the bed and not the floor. Okay, so he was playing their little game with her.

Relief flushed over her momentarily but only for a split second before his form covered her. His hand gripped her fishnets and tore them away from her skin and his teeth grazed her collarbone, earning him a groan from her lips. She raised her hips to accept him but he merely tickled her clit with his head, taunting her as she had done to him. She heard his knife's blade flick out as he cut her thong off at her hip and tossed that aside as well, following the sound of the knife clattering to the floor next to the bed.

"Okay Mistah J, this ain't funny no more," she whined. Her legs moved to wrap around his waist but he caught her thighs and rubbed their insides as his mouth caught her breast, letting his teeth gently graze the nipple. She gasped and shuddered but he didn't let up as he let his nips and kisses graze over her stomach, careful to plant only gentle kisses where the bruise across her ribs was forming from her fight with Nightwing. His lips touched her inner thigh, his teeth grazing her flesh there too, earning him a frustrated hiss from his Queen.

She was nearly whimpering when his tongue finally ran over her folds, which were already plenty moist without any further assistance from him.

He moved to hover over her again and kissed her passionately before growling, "You want this?" letting his member slide over her entrance again.

She nodded and whispered, "I do."

Far be it from him to not give the girl what she wanted after all. He slowly slid into her, feeling her walls adjusting to his size, earning him a sharp cry from her lips. She rejoiced as he finally let go of her legs and let her wrap them around his waist and he began thrusting into her, his hands planted on the wall behind her head for leverage. As she matched his rhythm with her own hips, she reached up and grabbed his wrists to steady herself before picking up her hips and now moving her legs up onto his shoulders, her ankles crossed behind his head.

The new angle earned her a groan from The Joker and he laced his fingers with hers, her nails digging into the back of his hands. She cried out in ecstasy and he felt her walls clenching around him; neither of them was going to last long this time around.

He heard a loud "FUCK" echo around the room and vaguely recognized his own voice over her own shrill cry of pleasure as they came together.

They lay on the bed in a panting heap of sweaty limbs for a moment before it dawned on him that her legs were still stuck beneath him. He pulled out of her carefully, feeling that her walls were still twitching around him, and rolled over to lay beside her.

Once she'd caught her breath, Harley rolled over to nestle into his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, running his fingers over her arm and kissing her forehead.

"I love you, puddin," she whispered to him as she traced a scar across his chest.

"Love you too, puu," he replied. After moment of silent bliss, Harley sat up and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I need a shower…I'm disgusting." The Joker cackled in response.

"Sweetie, there hasn't been any power or running water in this place for…ages…However, there is a motel up the road if you'd like to freshen up and come back."

"So what we just, break into someone's room, kill them, and take over their bathroom?" she looked to him. He sat up and nodded with an "mhm" before picking up his car keys and jangling them. A mischievous grin crossed her lips.

"All right, let's do it!"

A/N: Side note – I'm thinking of changing the title of this since it doesn't fit anymore and I just kind of named it something based on Chapter 1. Suggestions are welcome!