BRYCE

After a football practice full of running and passing drills, I made my way home using the shortcut Juli handed down to me. I spent the first little bit talking to a guy named Roger that I met from football, but we eventually split once he had to make his next turn. Even though we were just in the beginning stages of the season, it felt good to be part of a team and to be working with people towards the same goal.

Then I thought about Juli. Well, of course I thought about her. The way Dana made it obvious that Juli was going to Dennis' party made it seem like Juli would really want me there. But maybe I was just being naive. After the summer I put her through, I was surprised Juli even talked to me. Thinking she was crushing on me seemed to be quite a reach.

And whenever I started thinking about the possibility of Juli liking me, the image of that diary under her bed always came to mind. What did she write about me in there? And why did I have to be so stupid as to glance at it? I knew I'd feel guilty about it after. And on top of that guilt was the nagging array of possibilities of what she could have written about me.

Then, that thought spun into another thought of that letter I wrote for her. I got a flash of anxiety once I realized I didn't know exactly where it was, and started imaging it falling into the wrong hands and being splashed on the front page of the newspaper.

Local Teen Writes Embarrassing Love Letter to Girl Who Doesn't Even Like Him Anymore. Why Did She Like Him in the First Place? And Why Was He Too Stupid to Realize How Good He Had it? Now He's Just a Freak Who Writes Crappy Love Letters.

That sounds like it would totally happen.

I decided I'd be going to that party. What's the worst that could happen? And Juli was going to be there. I mentally made a plan to call Paul once I got home to be sure he'd be going to Dennis'. He was, after all, his cousin. Nothing better than having someone to stand next to at a social event.

The September wind sent a sea of browning leaves through the air and I went out of my way to step on the ones that looked the crispiest. I finally made it home, glancing over at the Baker house like I always did. The sycamore was growing, slowly but surely.

"Hey," Dad mumbled, looking at his watch as he cradled his beer on the couch, "Aren't you supposed to be home way earlier?"

"Football practice," I said. I tried not to roll my eyes, recalling how I talked about football yesterday over breakfast, when Mom asked about extracurriculars. But of course he didn't listen.

"Oh, yeah?" Dad's grin was kind of condescending, "What position they got you playing?"

"It's not decided yet," I shrugged, making my way towards the stairs once I took my shoes off.

"I hadn't pegged you as a football kind of guy." He tapped his fingers on the brown bottle. He kind of looked stunned. The idea of impressing him was sickeningly gratifying to me.

Granddad piped up from his rocking chair, "You enjoying it?"

"Yeah," I gave him a small smile. I dragged myself upstairs and lay in bed, thinking about how I could convince my parents to let me go to the party. I remembered the letter and quickly sat up to find it. After a few minutes, I found it on my bookshelf. I was sure I angrily threw it on the floor at one point... Leave it to me to subconsciously put it in a neater place. I productively dozed off before I could think anymore.

I woke up to Mom calling for dinner and felt the groggiest I'd ever felt. I went downstairs and passed Lynetta in the dining room, who was on the phone.

"True, good call. See ya." Lynetta hung up. It reminded me to find Paul's number and give him a call about tomorrow. Then again, I didn't even get permission to go. But it wouldn't hurt to know if he did.

I rifled through the phone book on the TV set once Lynetta went to grab a plate, and was lucky to find that the first number belonging to a Paszek in the listings was the one I was hoping for. After who I'm assuming was Paul's dad passed the phone to my friend, Paul told me that he was indeed planning to go to his cousin's freshie party. I hid behind the wall from my family as he gave me the address and said that Dennis' shindigs were always a blast. Now the pressure was on.

I sat at the quiet dinner table, grabbing spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. Lynetta got up shortly after, dropping her dirty dishes in the sink with a clank.

"I'm going over to Skyler's," Lynetta said, not looking at anyone in particular.

Dad let out a snort. I sighed to myself. This seemed to be the beginning of another round of Dad versus Lynetta.

"You can't just leave whenever you want. " He chewed his food loudly as he raised his voice at her.

"Talk about a double-standard," Lynetta mumbled as she passed behind me and out of the dining room.

"Excuse me?" He shouted. I silently prayed that Lynetta would be enough of an adult to not bark back. I looked at Granddad and his apprehensive face seemed to say that he was doing the same. But no amount of prayer would work.

"Come on, can't I take after you?" She popped her head back in, "Leaving whenever I please? You love to do that." I don't know why but my gaze went directly to Mom, who was watching the fight as if she was witnessing a car crash. The spectacle was about the same amount of decibels as one.

"Listen, Lynetta," Dad said as he dropped his fork onto his plate, "If you're going to live here-"

"Oh, do you want me to not live here? Want me to go? After Mom called me at Mary's house basically every day and begged me to come back? United front, my ass."

"You watch your language!" His finger was up in the air and his face was beginning to redden.

"Whatever." I looked over at Lynetta, who rolled her eyes before she disappeared again. I heard her heavy footsteps going up the stairs.

"What kind of reputation is she making for herself?" Dad looked at Mom, his voice still loud, "Going out at night, probably with those Baker boys and God knows who else, doing God knows what?" Mom's eyebrow was raised as she took a long sip of her water. She seemed to be a mixture of confusion and sadness.

Lynetta's familiar footsteps echoed down the staircase and was followed by the slamming of the front door. The dinner table stayed quiet and awkward. I wasn't sure what had just happened. It seemed like Lynetta was entirely done taking orders from Dad. And Dad knew it.

I felt so weak. I wished we could just be a normal family.

I looked at Mom again. I had no idea she was calling her daughter every day to try to get her to come back home. There was a lot going under the surface than Mom let on.

I had no appetite, but my stomach wouldn't stop furiously growling. I ate as fast as I could and went upstairs to do the bare minimum of my homework then get lost in my comic books.

Later on in the night, I heard a knock at my door. Granddad came in with two cups in his hands. He soundlessly settled at my desk as I sat up in bed. He passed me one of the mugs. Steam was flurrying out of it, and I looked at the dark concoction to see it was peppermint tea.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"You know, I had the strangest dream after that picture last night," Granddad said, "I was leading an army, but I eventually realized I was in my slippers. And I remembered thinking, 'How will anyone take me seriously while I'm wearing slippers?'"

"Did you manage to overthrow the nation?" I laughed, and took a sip of my tea.

"I don't think so," Granddad said as he put his finger to his chin, "I was too concerned about the footwear."

"I never remember my dreams," I shook my head, "If I do, it's for the first five seconds of the day. Then they're gone." I thought back to a conversation Juli and I had about lucid dreaming. She said she'd had many lucid dreams and I expressed obvious envy over it. I was pretty sure it was the day of the bee sting.

"My memory never lets me forget 'em," Granddad explained, "I remember once I dreamt that I won a bright red convertible. I woke up thinking it really happened the previous day. Renee was so confused when I told her I couldn't wait to drive the new car to work." I chuckled, imagining a young Granddad looking out at the driveway and realizing the jacked up car was just a dream.

"That's unfair," I shrugged, chuckling.

"Very," he said. I looked back down at my tea, wishing I slept enough to be having dreams. Or at least remembering them. The last good sleep I had was on Juli's floor. The fact that I was more comfortable on the neighbour's hardwood than my own bed spoke for itself.

After a few more moments of silently sipping tea, Granddad slapped his knee and looked at me.

"Well," he groaned, "I should be getting ready for bed. You look tuckered out yourself."

"I slept after school," I hazily said, "And I'm still tired."

"My advice to you is that you just don't put football before your education," Granddad said as he stood up, the belt of his robe dragging, "School's always first, right?"

I nodded, "Yes, sir." Granddad's wrinkled face had a smile on it.

As I sat in bed, rereading my comics and drinking my tea, I realized there was no way I'd get permission to go to the party. Especially after Lynetta's display tonight. In the past, whenever she'd get into trouble, Mom and Dad would double the authority on me. I think they realized they couldn't really control Lynetta so it made them feel better to really crack down on their less rebellious son. And if I asked to go to a party after Lynetta's little dinnertime revolt, I'd get a definite 'no' and most likely a list of chores.

I figured that since I'd been sneaking out all summer to take walks in the middle of the night and was never caught, sneaking out for the party seemed like the best option. Well, it was the only option if I wanted to go. And I just wanted to go.

JULIANA

I just wanted to get asking Mom and Dad to go to the party over with. I walked into the house to see Mom reading in the front room.

"Hi, hon," she hummed, "How was school?"

"Good," I said, rushed. I dropped my bag on the floor and leaned against the wall. "I was wondering about something."

She looked up at me and I could see practically see the myriad of suspicions that was rushing through her head. "Mhm?"

"Don't look so worried," I chuckled, "There's this get-together tomorrow night and I was hoping to go with my friends. You or Dad or Matt or Mark could drop me off at my friend Jessica's house. Her sister said she'd drive us to the party. I won't fight any curfew you give me. And I'll be smart. And responsible."

"You want to go to a party?" Mom rested the book in her lap, her eyebrows raised.

"Is that surprising?"

"It doesn't seem like your... scene," she shrugged.

I was eager to just get an answer out of her. "I wanna go. I mean, I'd like to."

"I don't see why not," Mom began, "You know I trust you. We'll discuss it with Dad when he gets home. He might be a tougher egg to crack."

"Thanks, Mom," I smiled.

"You deserve some fun." She gave me a sweet smile. I think I deserved some fun, too. After the lecture Mom and Dad would give me before going out, that is.

I was doing homework in the front room when Dad came home. My heart suddenly lurched as I thought of the possibility that he'd shut down my idea. I didn't even know if I was so keen on going to the party because I actually wanted to, or because I was just trying to avoid disappointing my friends and missing out on the experience.

"How are the two most wonderful girls in the world?" Dad took off his hat at the door and smoothed his hair down. Mom let out a short chuckle as she came out of the kitchen to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"What about your sons?" I pointed out, looking up from my book.

"Goes without saying," he shrugged with guff, "They're charming and handsome. Just look at their father."

I let out a laugh.

"Where are those two, anyway?" he asked, squinting.

"Band practice," Mom put her hands on her hips, "You know how once the weekend hits, it's like they don't even exist." That reminded me of Lynetta's brief interrogation with me today. I wondered if she was with them now.

"Ain't that true," he chuckled, walking into the front room and lying on the love-seat.

"Dad," I started, "May I please go to a party tomorrow?"

"What, like a birthday party?" he asked. Mom stepped closer to us, looking like she was anticipating his answer as much as I was.

"More like a get-together. Some kids from school. I'd be going with my friends."

"How late is it?"

"There's no official start time," I tapped my fingers against my knee, "But if you want to give me an early curfew, that's totally fine."

"And what friends?" He laced his fingers together and rested them on his belly.

"Dana, Allison, Jessica, and Jane. I have lunch with them every day." I don't know why I added the minuscule detail.

"And what kind of party is this?"

"Just a bunch of freshmen from my school are going."

"And it's at someone's house?"

"Yes."

"Whose?"

"His name is Dennis."

"Dennis," Dad echoed.

"Jessica and Jane know him," I quickly continued, "They went to middle school with him. And I met him. Also, his house is really close to Jessica's and her sister offered to drive us there."

He sighed and I bit my lip.

"Juliana, a lot can happen at a seemingly innocent house party," he sighed, "You would stay with your friends the entire time? And not do anything unwise?"

"Yes." I gave a confident nod.

"I don't know," Dad went on as he shook his head, "It's not you I don't trust, it's other people."

I already accepted his no. But it never came.

"Fourteen years old and asking to go to parties... You were in diapers yesterday," Dad looked over at Mom, who still had her hands on her hips.

"I think it's okay to let her go, Richard," Mom added, "We can trust her. And she deserves to enjoy herself."

"Juliana, what's a curfew you think would be fair?"

I was thrown off. Was this some kind of parent mind-trick? I thought back to Jessica telling Jane to ask for 10:30.

"10:30?" I nervously asked.

"Okay," Dad nodded, "Reasonable. I can pick you up. Do you have the address?"

"Yes," I answered, "394 Wicker Road." My memory impressed me.

"You came prepared," Dad let out a chuckle and Mom did the same. He sat up and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Remember that we trust you. And once you break trust, it's very difficult to get back." Those were his final words before he started talking to Mom about a work social he'd have to drag her to.

I called my friends in a group conversation before Dad could change his mind, and gave them the news.

"Boss!" Jessica exclaimed, "Do you all want to come around 8?"

"Can I come earlier?" Jane's voice was quiet.

"Course," Jessica answered.

"What's your address?" I asked.

"27 Nightwood. Big, white house." I wrote her address right under Dennis' and read it back to her. "Did you have to put up a fight when you asked, Jul?"

"Not that much," I stood in the empty kitchen and played with the phone cord.

"27?" Dana asked.

"Yes," Jessica and I said in unison.

"Juli, do you want to just get a ride to Jessica's with me and my mom tomorrow? I can be there at 7:45?"

"Sure, thanks!" I answered.

"I hope this party's not a total bust based on how much work we put into it," Jessica laughed.

"We'll have fun regardless," Allison interjected.

"You'd have fun with a shoe box," Dana teased, and we all laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Allison said.

We all stayed on the phone for another twenty minutes until Jane said her mom needed to call someone and Allison said if she spent another minute without a shower after soccer practice, she'd become radioactive.

Jessica, Dana, and I stayed on as Jessica asked us about adding polynomials. I was reiterating the steps I remembered from last year as Dana hummed along to her Dad's Fleetwoods record.

"I saw a kid writing his answers in pen today," Jessica said, "Can you imagine having that confidence?"

"I personally hate using pens at all," I added.

"At all?" Jessica sounded astounded, "But some of them write so smooth."

"Make sure to use this conversation topic at tomorrow's party," Dana laughed, "It's absolutely riveting."

"I'll walk out with five boyfriends with these communication skills," Jessica said, "And speaking of boyfriends- Juli, is yours going?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I grinned, "Now you're in on the teasing, too?"

"I asked him if he was going and he said he didn't know," Dana simply stated, "But he seemed a little more eager about it once I said Juli was going."

"I can never win with you," I laughed. I couldn't help but feel excited over the prospect of seeing Bryce there.

"He was cute for the five seconds I saw him that one time," Jessica went on, "Nothing to be ashamed of. Trust me."

Mom came into the kitchen to tend to the tomato sauce that was slowly simmering on the stove top. Dad followed and started setting the table in the dining room.

"Okay, I'm gonna have dinner now," I said into the phone, "I'll see you guys tomorrow." I hung up the phone and grabbed glasses from the cupboard. Mom, Dad, and I sat at the table and noticed the lack of noise when Matt and Mark weren't there.

"I swear, you'd think those boys actually moved out for college with how much they're gone," Dad said as he plopped pasta on my plate for me.

"Are they ever gonna get tired of that band?" I laughed, adding tomato sauce to the mound of noodles on my plate. "They spend all their money on equipment and junk food."

"Equipment and junk food," Dad replied, "You just described their paradise."

"Well, they're missing out on a great dinner," I smiled at Mom, "It looks great."

"Thank you, honey," Mom smiled, "Feel free to eat everything you see; I already sectioned off their portions."

"Thanks! Oh, Dana offered to give me a ride to Jessica's tomorrow." I looked to Dad. "So, I just need you to pick me up from the party." He nodded.

"How was your day, Juli?" Mom started her routine dinner talk without skipping a beat.

I bit into my meal, "Good. My English test went pretty well-"

The phone's ringing interrupted me. I stood up and mumbled to myself about why my friends would be calling again.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi," a female voice was loud from the other side, "Matt or Mark there?"

"Uh, no," I looked over at Mom and Dad as if they could tell me who the mystery person on the phone was.

"Y'know where they are?" Lynetta. I recognized her voice.

"Not sure. Probably in Skyler's basement as usual, though."

She let out a cackle, "True, good call. See ya." I heard a click on the other end and hung up the phone.

"Pretty sure that was Lynetta," I walked back to the table and sat down, "Asking about Matt and Mark again."

"Again?" Mom asked.

"Oh, I saw her at school today and she asked me about them there, too."

"So, she's back," Mom replied, "That's great. I was worried about that poor girl."

And that was about as far as our family would go with anything resembling gossip. I dug into my food and continued to talk about my day, wishing I could give Lynetta a definite answer of where her friends were. I was sure she was just looking for a way out of that house without having to pack up and leave again.

After dinner, Mom and Dad watched television as I read in my room. I eventually felt myself drifting off so I tucked myself in and fell asleep thinking about the party and all the things that could possibly happen. Probably nothing would.