Chapter Twelve - Faith
I was trying to save your life.
Desperate.
Willing to do whatever I could to keep you with me.
Someone died.
That's on me, not you.
I didn't know.
But it's done now.
I can't undo it and to be honest,
I don't know that I would.
If that makes me wrong.
Fine.
Seeing you in that hospital bed.
Resigned, accepting.
Weak and incapacitated.
For the first time in my life,
You needed me.
I couldn't fail you.
I just couldn't.
I called on everyone for help.
Joshua finally coming through with Roy.
A faith healer.
I needed to believe.
The End
bjxmas
May 2014
Thanks to my anonymous Guest reviewer who reminded me of Sam's bid to save his big brother in Faith. It wasn't a possession, but it did result in an innocent man losing his life so Dean could live. Another burden that Dean took on and I remember so well his frustration and the tinge of anger that flared and then how he immediately backed off. Dean never blamed Sam, instead taking on the guilt himself.
Sam needs to remember that feeling, that desperate hopelessness and dread at the prospect of losing his big brother. And he needs to remember the compassion Dean had for the guy who died, but also for his kid brother who was only trying to help. Blame is a nasty weapon, one that tends to be wielded in anger, without thought. It does no good, especially when the intentions behind the original act of saving a brother are noble and good, and done out of love.
Comments?
B.J.
