"Good evening. Is Lucas at home?" he couldn't calm down after their fight so he grabbed his car keys and drove to his house. It was almost midnight.

"What are you doing here?" he heard Keith's voice, he appeared behind Karen. She had called him after Lucas refused to talk about the bruises on his neck. She hoped a talk between men would help but Keith wasn't successful either.

"I have to talk to Lucas it's important" he swallowed his nervousness, Keith looked everything but happy to see him.

"Come in" Karen led him inside and pointed at the couch "Do you know what happened to him?"

"Was it you?" Keith hissed angry.

"No sir it wasn't me but I wish I knew who did this to him" Nathan shot back.

"Tell us what happened" he flopped down on the arm chair, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"We found him in the hallway, he couldn't breathe and his neck was red. Someone tried to strangle him or give him a scare I don't know. He refused to tell us who did this. He said he would take care of the matter and left" Nathan hated himself for not following his lover.

"He said he took care of it and we should stop worrying" Karen sighed, her boy was in trouble and she couldn't do anything against it.

"He did?" Nathan frowned, that was fast.

"Yes, at least that's what he says" she rubbed her forehead.

"Can I talk to him?" he wanted to see him no matter what.

"Yes he's in his room" Karen sighed; she hoped his lover was more successful.

Nathan rushed upstairs not bothering to knock. Lucas sat in front of his homework but it seemed he paid it no attention "What are you doing here?"

"I'm worried" Nathan stopped next to him and put his hands on his shoulders, slightly working the knots out of his stiff muscles.

Lucas enjoyed the contact "We are fine"

"The bully-boy and you?" Nathan hissed not believing his story.

"Yes. We talked and we made peace" Lucas tilted his head back to look into his lover's angry eyes.

"Isn't it too easy?" the brunette placed a kiss on Lucas's forehead "I mean he harassed you and with one talk" he snipped his finger "you're friends?"

"Not friends but we could be" the blond leaned back against Nathan's strong chest "I can continue the private war we're fighting if it makes you happy"

"Nooo" Nathan wrapped his arms around his older lover "No but promise to be careful don't trust him"

"I don't" there was no one he could put his trust on.

"Good" the strain left Nathan's body and he kissed him "Love you" Lucas smiled at him "I know"

"What the heck is going on?" a strong voice shouted from the doorway, Nathan let go of him as if burned "Keith" Lucas winced.

"What the hell are you two doing?" he fumed.

"I-We – uhm" Lucas was at a loss for words and hoped Nathan was able to say something cleverer than uhm.

"We kissed" he stated the fact "I'm not blind I know that" Keith roared "He's your brother. That's incest" Keith stared at Lucas.

"I know" he whispered "Nathan I think you should leave"

"I don't let you alone with him" Nathan gritted out. Lucas took his hand and dragged him to the front door "Leave" he ordered "Love you" he mouthed before he closed the door. Nathan knocked and begged him to open the door but without success. He left and prayed that Lucas would be okay. He rubbed his eyes, tears threatening to spill "Is a little piece of happiness too much to ask for?" he looked at the night sky.

Karen went into the kitchen to prepare some tea as she heard Keith shout. She dropped a cup "Damn it" she rushed into the living room and saw Lucas drag his lover down the stairs and out of the house.

"Keith calm down" she pleaded.

"Calm down? You're son has an affair with his own brother. It is a damn good reason to yell"

He stared at her, her face sad but not surprised at all "You knew" he realized.

"Yes I know what they're doing" she eyed him "How can you support them. It's sick, abnormal, to love your own brother"

She saw the hurt expression on her boy's face "Look at him Keith" he turned around "and what am I supposed to see?" he raged.

"Can't you see it" she frowned, how could he be so blind? "Nathan makes him happy" he didn't listen.

"How far did you go?" he glared at the boy "..go?"

Lucas remained silent for a while "Calm down, think of your heart" he worried. Keith's face was bright red.

"Don't change the topic. Did you cross the line or not?"

"There is no going back" Lucas lowered his gaze, he had enough.

"You did…God. Do you even know that you committed a crime?"

Lucas head shot up "He means everything to me. Our love isn't a crime it's a social rule we break but we don't hurt anybody"

"You hurt us. Me, your mother, Nathan" he shouted "Do you even think of her feelings before you fucked your brother?"

Lucas was speechless; he didn't hurt his mom, did he? Nathan was fine too, or not? "You mean I hurt you. You're against it and I have to give up everything for you"

"Don't speak in that tone with me young man" they stood face to face.

"You're not my father" Lucas stared at him wide-eyed, that was a low blow and he knew it. It wasn't his intention to hurt Keith that way. He always cared for him and helped in every way he could.

Lucas's words hit him like a punch to the guts and without realizing he slapped the boy.

The hurt look in Lucas's eyes pained him even more. Karen rushed to her son, tears staining her face "Leave!" she yelled at him "Karen I…"

"LEAVE" she shoved him away from her boy "Nathan makes him happy and that's everything I want. I'm happy when Lucas is happy. Nothing else matters"

He stared at them, she retuned her attention to Lucas "It's okay, hush" Karen took him into her arms "Go upstairs and try to calm down"

"Mom" he sobbed and clung to her for dear life "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he repeated again and again.

"There is nothing to be sorry for" she rubbed his back "and now go to bed, and take your meds" Karen whispered the last part "I follow in a few minutes, okay?" he nodded.

Lucas went upstairs his gaze glued to the ground ignoring Keith and the emotions he might see in his eyes. Disappointment, disgust, hate.

"Karen" he tried again but she lifted a hand to cut him off "I said leave or I call the police" her gaze was cold as ice.

Keith nodded and obeyed.

She closed the door and hurried upstairs to comfort her baby boy.

They lay together on Lucas bed, neither of them dared to talk about the evening.

Karen offered a silent kind of comfort, soothing caresses and a strong motherly hug.

Weeks went on and Lucas avoided Keith. The older man had tried to call him a couple of times and passed by their house but they never opened the door.

Nathan had spent the whole weekend with Lucas to make sure he would be fine but the brunette came to the conclusion that Lucas needed Keith but there was nothing he could do. Lucas and Keith belong together, they were family and he wished he could drag Keith back into their life.

He tried it once but it almost ended in a fist fight.

"Lucas, come on darling" Nathan packed a bag "I'm coming" the blond stepped out of the bedroom. He looked fine but Lucas always seemed fine even though he knew better than to believe it was true.

"Where are we going?" Lucas asked and eyed the bag.

"It's a surprise" Nathan had promised him a surprise and the blond would get it, two weeks late because of Keith but he would make the best out of it.

They drove for half an hour before they stopped near a huge field "I know the owner and she said we can stay as long as we want" Nathan explained. It was almost autumn; the sun shone but it was chilly.

Lucas studied the green area, the flowers and trees "It's a beautiful property" on the far end of the huge areal was the manor-house. It looked old "Who owns this place?"

"An old lady, she's living alone. Her kids don't give a damn about her but they're waiting like the vultures for her to die"

"Ah, inheritance parasites" Lucas shook her head, how could a son, or daughter, neglect their own family. Waiting for their mother to die. He would sacrifice everything for his mother.

"Yes. I met her one years ago. Her car broke down and I gave her a ride. We started to talk and she said that she was too old for most duties. So I visit her once a week, or every two weeks depends on what comes up"

"She must be lonely" Lucas mused, Nathan wrapped his arms around his lover "She has friends and I think she even has a new boy friend" the brunette chuckled.

"Good" Lucas hated it when people were all alone.

Nathan let go of him and grabbed the bag "Are you hungry?"

"Yes" the blond watched him work.

Nathan spread out a blanket and opened various containers "I hope you like it. I increased my cooking skills but your mom helped me, though"

Lucas settled down on the blanket and eyed the food "Look nontoxic"

"Hey, I gave my best" Nathan punched his arm "besides your mom knows how to cook"

"That's true" Lucas took a deep breath, enjoying the chilly air "I love you"

Nathan frowned at the sudden declaration of love "What brought this up?"

"You" the blond smiled at him, Nathan returned the smile "Now eat, you're so skinny"

"Skinny huh? I remember that you like me that way" he grinned.

"I do but you lost a few pounds and I don't like it when you neglect yourself" the brunette stroked through the soft blond hair.

"Point taken" Lucas leaned into the touch "Tastes good" he took a fork full of stew.

"Your mom said it's a receipt from her grandmother" Nathan was proud to know so much about family history. Since Keith made scene Karen tried even harder to accept him into the family as if she was scared he could leave Lucas because of his hateful words.

Nathan had no intention to leave "Yes it is" Lucas pulled him out of his musing.

"Are you ready to talk?" Nathan hated that Lucas bottled up his emotions.

"About Keith? Skills?Us?" Lucas looked weary; Nathan tried to coax him into talking for weeks now.

"Yeah" Nathan refilled Lucas's plate without to ask.

"What do you want to know?" the blond decided to give in or their relationship had no chance to survive.

"What did Keith say? It was hard to offer comfort without knowing what exactly happened after you threw me out" Nathan walked on eggshells around him, that included considering every move and thinking twice before he spoke.

"He said it's sick, abnormal and I hurt people around me, stuff like that" Lucas summarized; it made him physically sick to remember it.

That was harsh "He's wrong. It's not abnormal or sick. Our love is right" Nathan took the plate off Lucas's hand, the blond lost his appetite.

"I'm not so sure anymore" Lucas confessed, what if Keith was right?

"He needs time to understand" the brunette pulled Lucas onto his lap "He still loves you. I don't doubt his feelings for you"

"I hurt him" the blond snuggled against his lover's chest "I said he's not my father. It hurt him, a lot"

"He hurt you too" Nathan hated Keith for the way he handled the situation "and it was no reason to hit you" he saw the bruise Keith's hand on his lover's cheek. The bruise faded quickly but the emotional wound would need by far more time to heal.

"Maybe I deserved it" Lucas closed his eyes "No you don't" Nathan kissed the top of his head.

They sat there in silence for a long time, Nathan let Lucas fall asleep. He needed his rest; Lucas had nightmares every night since Keith broke his heart.

Nathan stroked through the blond hair "It's not fair that he didn't listen. Can't he see your happiness? Your mom must be angry as hell. Karen is frightening when she's angry" he chuckled to himself "I love you and I'll try to help as best I can. But I have to figure you out first. Your mom was right it's not easy to handle you and I doubt you can handle yourself and that's the problem. You take everything to heart; there are situations you don't have to give a damn about what's said like angry words spoken during a fight. I know it must hurt but do you think beating yourself up makes it better?"

"No" Lucas whispered interrupting his lover's soliloquize "but I can't let it go. He's like a father; I lost one father I don't want to lose him too"

Nathan finally understood "He's what Dan never was" he felt Lucas nod against his chest.

It was time to give Keith a call, a call couldn't end in a fist fight "I'm sure he gets a grip on himself and accepts the way you choose"

"I hope so" Lucas took a chocolate cookie "but I have you and mom. That's enough for now"

That was a lie but Nathan ignored it "Yeah" he kissed Lucas "You should eat cookies more often you taste even sweeter" the brunette liked his lips.

Lucas smiled at him "Kinky boy" he straddled his lover and initiated a passionate kiss.

They made out under the clear blue sky "You make my life worthwhile" Lucas panted in his ear "I like my life"

Nathan frowned he wasn't sure how to interpret what Lucas said "I like our life too"

"Thank you for the nice day" it was the first time in two weeks that he felt truly happy.

"You're welcome" Nathan grinned "We should go, it's getting cold" Lucas helped him up.
"Can I ask you a question?" Nathan stuffed the containers back into the bag "Shoot" Lucas folded the blanket "What did Skills say to make you so angry?"

"He called mom a whore and he wanted to tell Dan a few stories about us" the blond said nonchalantly, one problem he had solved on his own.

"He WHAT?" Nathan fumed, that was low even for Skills "I'll break his bones"

"Don't worry" Lucas face lit up "We had a little chat and we came to the conclusion that we should stop our little war"

"He bruised your neck" Nathan's jaw dropped, how could he be so stupid? It was revenge for Lucas's tantrum at the cinema.

"It's forgiven and forgotten" Lucas warned, he was relieved Skills held his promise until now and he wanted it to remain that way.

"Okay" Nathan suppressed his anger "But next time he's a dead man" Lucas gave him a peck on the cheek "My hero" he joked. Nathan punched his arm "I mean it" he whined.

"I know you do" the blond gave him a sad smile he couldn't decipher "Let's go home"

Nathan nodded, there was so much going on in his lover's mind he did not understand.

"Lucas you should stay away from your locker" Haley grabbed his arm and tried to drag him away "Lucas, please" she didn't want him to see it.

"Haley, I have to. I need my books" he sighed "I get them for you" she begged.

Lucas shook his head and stopped in front of his locker "Great" he wished the ground would open up and swallow him. The word 'FAG' was sprayed in bright red letters on his locker.

"Lucas" Payton's smile faded as she saw Lucas's locker "Oh my god, who did this?"

"I don't know" he opened it and did as if nothing happened. Why was life so complicated? "Keep Nathan away from my locker" he whispered. Lucas wasn't sure how Nathan would react.

"Why?" he jumped at Nathan's voice behind him "No reason" he lied and didn't dare to close his locker.

"Don't lie to me" the brunette narrowed his eyes "Lucas" he warned.

Lucas closed the door and stepped aside. Nathan's eyes widened in shock "How…" he bit his lip, his mind racing. Did they know about him and Lucas? Did they know what they have done? Nathan was scared of the aftermath; it was a failure to go this far with Lucas. What would his father say?

"Nathan" Lucas asked carefully "It's not that bad. It's the truth anyway"

"How can you say that? What'll they think?" Nathan blurted out.

"Who? Dan? The team?" he could see the answer in his eyes "Ahh, I understand" Lucas grabbed his backpack and headed for the classroom.

Nathan kept his distance all day. He felt like everyone was staring at him.

Keith was right, it was abnormal what they shared "Hey Skills" he faked a smile and spent the rest of the day with him.

Training was even less pleasant. Lucas was already a wreck before it started "Hey don't stare at me" someone said as he headed for his locker. He tried not to listen.

"Stop right there" a voice echoed through the changing room "You can change when we are ready. Go or stare at your locker but don't you dare looking at us until we're dressed. Damn fag" Nathan continued to change. He had hoped Nathan would help him but he was alone.

Lucas sat down on a bench, staring at the ground

~ Did you lie? I thought we could be friends, I knew I'll regret telling you.

I want to go home.

Are you disgusted now that they know what I am? Is that why you don't acknowledge my existence? I need your help … HELP ME ~

He buried his face in his hands

~ I hate my life. I was so happy three days ago and just when I thought my life gets better it comes crashing down on me.

What did I do to offend you? Huh? They say you're merciful, that you look out for us humans. Am I not worth the effort? God, tzk. ~

"You can get dressed" Skills put a hand on his shoulder after everyone else left "I swear I didn't tell them"

Lucas studied him "Okay" he turned around and started to change his clothes. Skills eyed him for a moment, he didn't tell them. He tried to find the culprit but without success.

Lucas punched his locker after Skills left "Damn it" he cursed.

The team stopped talking as he entered, they glared t him "Let's start" Whitey ordered.

"Lucas, catch the ball with your hands not with your head" Whitey knew it wasn't his fault but it was frustrating to watch him suffer.

"Give him the ball, damn it boy" his triad went on, Whitey was near a stroke.

"Hey fag, do you jerk off thinking about us or your brother?" Nathan's head shot up at the question. He watched his brother pale "Gotcha" the boy grinned at Lucas.

"Stop day dreaming" Nathan yelled and passed to Lucas, harder than he intended.

Lucas caught the ball almost too late. He stopped it only millimeters away from his face. His jaw dropped and he stared at his little brother in shock. Pain written all over his face.

Nathan looked as shocked as Lucas's it wasn't his intention to vent his frustration on his lover. It tore on his heart, he wanted to take him into his arms and sooth the hurt away but it wasn't possible. He couldn't take him into his arms or comfort him in front of others.

Lucas dropped the ball and went to Whitey, the others continued to play "Boy, I think it's time to end it" Whitey gave him a sad half smile. Lucas nodded; he stretched out his hand "Thank you for everything" Whitey took his hand "You're welcome. You know where to find me should you need my help"

"Yes sir" Lucas looked so sad he felt the urge to take him into his arms "I hoped I would quit without hating the game"

"You'll learn to love it again" he was sure "Now, go before training is over"

Lucas emptied his locker, he looked around the room and with a deep sigh he switched off the light. It was time to move on.