Me- What's up, peoples?
Max- The sky. Some clouds. Take your pick.
Me- We've been off for a while, but we've got more than enough material to get us through the month, and then some! So let's start out with… the Wipey Weekend!
Max- The what?
Me- Wipey Weekend.
Max- Why are you calling it the Wipey Weekend?
Me- It was going to be the Epic Weekend, but I mistyped it, and it came out "Wipey." Anyway, Thanks to everyone who reviewed the EPIC CHAPTER! Yeah, I'm talking about you, Jade Sparkles, Natvv, Saint and Fang, Bell and Iggy, neoxgeo, StephanieZorander, and nudge-potter!
Max-It looked like my dream was pretty popular…
Me- Yeah, you do realize you dreamt about Iggy in his underwear, right?
Max- I guess I had to make up for all the times I dreamt about Fang in his… was that out loud?
Me- Okaaaaaaaay… and reviewing Q & A Part 3, we had Jade Sparkles, Saint and Fang, Botherer 1337, Scream Meh A Love Song x3, nudge-potter, doaneochoa, and M. G. Christiani… and Iggy.
Max- Say what?
Me- I dunno, being in two places at once is Iggy's problem, not mine.
Max- He's my brother(ish), I deserve to know what's happening to him!
Me- Well, I don't know either, so on with the show!
Me- Hey Max, do you know what we're doing this weekend?
Max- Do I want to know?
Me- We're joining a whole crapload of other teenagers on a bus and we're driving to Orlando for Rock the Universe!
Max- Rock the What?
Me- Rock the Universe, it's the huge Christian music festival at Universal Studios!
Max- Yet another advantage to living in Florida...
Me- But it gets better!
Max- How?
Me- The next day, we're going driving again, this time to go see the Bucs game!
Max- Bucs? That's football, right?
Me- Yeah, and in between, we're spending the night at my friend Shay's house!
Shay- What's up?
Me- Blink me!
Shay- Heck yeah! *punches stereo button*
Tom Delonge- In the car, I just can't wait…
Max- Is it gonna be like this all weekend?
Me- Well, Max, I thought that was…
Me & Shay- OB-VEEEEE-OOOOUUUUUUUS!
Max- Enough blink-182 references.
Shay- My pants are off right now.
Max- *facepalms*
Shay- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…
Me & Shay- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Max- When do we leave?
***At Rock the Universe***
Max- The Afters?
Me- Yeah.
The Afters- *rock out*
Max- Who the h are they?
Me- I really don't know…
Max- That's it, I'm going on The Mummy.
Me- The Mummy's got a 2-hour wait, and I refuse to miss Hawk Nelson. So we're watching The Afters.
Max- *sigh*
The Afters- *play the intro to "Are You Gonna Be My Girl"*
Me- Awesome, I love this song!
Max- I thought Jet wrote this song…
Me- They did.
Max- Then why…
The Afters- All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the…
Max- Seriously?
Me- Well, that wasn't expected.
Max- I thought this was a Christian show…
Me- *checks phone clock* Hawk time!
Max- Where's Shay again?
Me- In a 3-hour line for a roller coaster.
Max-Hmm. Idiot.
Hawk Nelson- Hey, lemme hear you say, make some noise if you feel this way, hey, if you're got a…
Everyone- FRIEND LIKE THAT!
Hawk Nelson- Hey, let's scream and shout, if you know what I'm talkin' 'bout, anybody got a…
Everyone- FRIEND LIKE THAT!
Max- I do, and his name is Fang…
Me- He's not going to randomly show up if you keep complimenting him.
Max- Whatever…
Hawk Nelson- All the girls and the boys and people makin' noise, just let me hear you shout…
Everyone- BRING 'EM OUT BRING 'EM OUT!
Max- Hawk Nelson wrote this song?
Me- Yeah, they BRING 'EM OUT BRING 'EM OUT! wrote a lot of famous songs people don't generally associate with them.
Max- Hm.
Shay- Hey, what's up?
Me- Hey Shay, how was BRING 'EM OUT BRING 'EM OUT! the coaster?
Shay- Pretty awesome! Except I think I wasted three hours of my BRING 'EM OUT BRING 'EM OUT! life waiting in line.
Me- Aw, sucks.
Shay- Hey, my dad just called me, he knows a guy who can get us backstage passes to meet Third Day!
Max- HOLY SWEET FUDGE MUFFINS! SERIOUSLY?
Shay- Yeah!
Max- Awesome! Who's Third Day?
Shay- A band.
Max- I got that…
Me- What are we waiting for? Let's go!
Pass Guy- Hey, how are you guys?
Shay- Hungry.
Me- Deaf.
Max- Scared.
Pass Guy- Why are you scared?
Max- I swear I just saw Fromo.
Me- Oy. So, are we gonna meet Third Day?
Pass Guy- Yep! Well, kinda, I've only got two passes.
Me, Max, & Shay- *look at each other*
Shay- So who's staying behind?
Pass Guy- Oh, yeah, one of them's for me.
Me- So who's going?
Pass Guy- Sorry guys, it's gonna have to be Shay, I'll see if I can get you two in…
Max- GIMME THAT PASS! *goes on attack* GIVE… ME… LET GO!
Me- *holds Max back desperately* NO! SHAY, GRAB THE PASS AND GO! SAVE YOURSELF!
Shay- Come on, Pass Guy. *run off*
Max- You… Motherfu-
Me- Christian festival. No language.
Max- Well, now what?
Me- I'm hungry. Let's get some food.
Max- I know! I'll just fly up to the stage! Forget backstage, I can be onstage!
Me- Yeah… how many people can fly?
Max- Hello? Christian music? Angels? It'll look like a stunt!
Me- Right. Come on, I'm hungry. *drags Max off*
Max- We just paid $8 for a crappy hamburger.
Me- We paid $16 for two crappy hamburgers.
Max- Same thing. These aren't even real!
Me- It's not really a hamburger if it's not at least half plastic!
Max- Sadly, you're right…
Me- Hmm… How much money do you have left?
Max- Uh, about $80 I stole from your sister.
Me- I've got $60. I want a Hawk Nelson t-shirt. And maybe a CD. And one of those rings made out of a guitar string… they call them St-Rings. That's awesome!
Max- Yeah, whatever. I might buy a shirt or something…
Me- Well, there's a merch stand over there. I'll meet you back here in ten minutes?
Max- Yeah, whatever.
***Merch Shopping with Me***
Me- Hey, do you have any more Hawk Nelson shirts? Or did you…
Merch Guy- Sorry, we already packed them up.
Me- Well crap. Do you have anything not packed up? CD's? Stickers? Price tags?
Merch Guy- Just the Third Day stuff, sorry. Oh, and the St-Rings guys are still open.
Me- Okay, thanks. *walks over to St-Rings* Hmm…
St-Rings Guy- Hi, how can I help you?
Me- Are these prices firm?
St-Rings Guy- Yeah.
Me- Well, I'm not going to pay $5 for a guitar string twisted in a circle…
***Merch Shopping with Max***
Max- Hey, Merch Guy, that shirt is awesome, how much
Merch Guy- Well, it's $25, but we're out of size small…
Max- Yeah, I don't care. I'll take one… hmm, is this album any good?
Merch Guy- Excellent.
Max- Then I'll take a copy… Holy crap, is that a guitar string? Or is it a ring?
St-Rings Guy- It's both!
Max- Sweet Cakin' Flyboys! I'll take that one, and you guys sell guitar pick necklaces too?
***Ten Minutes Later***
Me- Where is that girl…
Max- Hey!
Me- Holy… What did you buy? Heck, what did you not buy?
Max- Haha. Let's see…
Me- You bought a Third Day tour shirt… why?
Max- Rub it in Fang's face.
Me- Fang likes Third Day?
Max- I don't know. If he doesn't, someone I know's bound to.
Me- Okay… Is that the reason for the Third Day album?
Max- Nah, I liked the cover art.
Me- Okay… and you bought three St-Rings and a guitar pick necklace… why?
Max- They looked cool!
Me- And you bought a flashing-lights retainer… and one of those theme-park lightsabers that change color…
Max- I like to stand out! What'd you buy?
Me- These! *holds up purchase*
Max- …
Me- What?
Max- Clear drumsticks? Why?
Me- Oh, they're not clear! *plays beat on leg*
Max- Holy crap, they're light-up drumsticks?
Me- Yeah!
Max- …why?
Me- …why not?
Shay- Hey, there you are!
Max- …BACKSTAGE! *lunges*
***Back at Shay's***
Max- God, I'm tired.
Me- *drums on leg with special sticks* So? It's only 3.
Max- IN THE MORNING!
Shay- *picks up guitar* Song time!
Me- All right! One, two, three, four!
Me & Shay- *start playing "I'm Gay"*
Max- *gapes*
Me- This f$#ing song is all personality.
Shay- *laughs* Dude, that's the s#$!
Me- Well, we've all heard about how the guys in the band/weren't the popular kids in school/and now you hate your parents 'cause the way you turned out/but in the end the blame's on you!
Shay- And we all sympathize with your torn-apart heart/and your really artistic worldly views/It sells records when you're sad these days/it's super cool to be mad these days…
Me- I think rock and roll is really funny when it's serious!
Me & Shay- Don't hate us 'cause we're happy!/Don't hate us 'cause we're beautiful!/Don't hate us if we make you smile/Or if we go/the extra mile to make/someone feel better on a really s#$ty day/and if you're hearing what I'm saying then…
Me- I want to hear you say, "I'm gay!"
Shay- I'm gay!
Me- Say, "I'm gay!"
Shay- I'm gay!
Me- Whoo! *instrumental*
Max- Are you guys serious…?
Shay- Let's start a movement, let's start it right now/and if you don't know where to start/I can show you, I'm your new team captain/Put your left hand over your heart/and repeat after me!
Shay- It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual.
Me- It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual.
Shay- Max, you gonna join in?
Max- Sure, whatever.
Shay- It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual.
Me & Max- It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual.
Shay- Very nice. Very. Nice.
Me & Shay- Don't hate us 'cause we're happy!/Don't hate us 'cause we're beautiful!/Don't hate us if we make you smile/Or if we go/the extra mile to make/someone feel better on a really s#$ty day/and if you're hearing what I'm saying then…
Me- I want to hear you say, "I'm gay!"
Shay- I'm gay!
Me- Say, "I'm gay!"
Shay- I'm gay!
Me- That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Pick up the phone 'cause Me, Max, & Shay are on the line! And you don't have to be sad anymore! You don't have to be mad anymore! We can all join hands and do ring around the freaking rosie! In fact, can we can get some "La la"s up in here?
Shay- It sells records when you're sad these days/it's super cool to be mad these days/I think rock and roll is really funny when it's serious!
Me- Yo, where my "La la"s at?
Me & Shay- Laaaaaaa, La La Laaaaaaa, La La Laaa Laaaaaaaaa, La La La La Laaaaaaa, La La Laaaaaaa, La La Laaa Laaaaaaaaa…
Me- Come on Max!
Me, Max & Shay- Laaaaaaa, La La Laaaaaaa, La La Laaa Laaaaaaaaa, La La La La Laaaaaaa, La La Laaaaaaa, La La Laaa Laaaaaaaaa… Don't hate us 'cause we're happy!/Don't hate us 'cause we're beautiful!/Don't hate us if we make you smile/Or if we go/the extra mile to make/someone feel better on a really s#$ty day/and if you're hearing what I'm saying then…
Me- I want to hear you say, "I'm gay!"
Max & Shay- I'm gay!
Me- Say, "I'm gay!"
Max, Shay & Fromo- I'm gay!
Max- STOP F#$ING FOLLOWING ME!
Me- Yeah Fromo, go f#$ a dog or something.
Shay- BLINK ME!
Me- I wanna f#$ a dog in the ass…
Shay- He wants to f#$ a dog in the ass…
Me- I wanna f#$ a dog! That's right kids…
Max- I'm going to bed.
Fromo- I'll join you!
Max- Where did you even come from anyway?
Max- That was over 2,000 words, and still not the funniest chapter…
Me- It wasn't supposed to be. If I kept trying to top myself, I'd either go crazy or become a famous comedian.
Max- Hm.
Me- Belated disclaimer- I don't own anything mentioned in this chapter, from The Afters to "I'm Gay" by Bowling For Soup.
Max- Are you really gay?
Me- Uh…no.
Fromo- I am!
Max- WHERE DO YOU KEEP COMING FROM?
Me- Hey, totally random, 'cuz I can't think of anything else to say, whoever can guess all of the blink-182 songs referenced in this chapter will win fabulous prizes!
Max- Like?
Me- I'm still working on that part… Anyway, Part Two of the Wipey Weekend is coming soon! It's getting late, and I've gotta study, so I'm out.
Max- See ya, peoples!
Fromo- Call me!
