Chapter Eleven

"Well, you'd better think of something quick," Booster muttered, giving Blue Beetle a look.

"I'm working on it, okay?"

"Work faster."

"Y'know, it wouldn't hurt for you to think of a plan for once."

"I already know the plan."

"You do?"

"Yeah. We need to escape."

"Oh, brilliant deduction, Holmes. How?"

"Hey, I can't be expected to come up with every little detail! That's your job."

"Mine?"

"Right. I'm the idea guy. You're the details guy."

"Really."

"Sure. That's why we make such a good team, right?"

"We do?"

"Of course we do," Booster said, giving Beetle an admonishing look for daring to doubt. "Blue and Gold! We're the original dynamic duo!"

"I thought that was Batman and Robin."

"They don't count. Urban legends. Besides, who wants to hang out with a twelve year old?"

"You have a point. Think Bats ever has problems with child labor laws?"

"I dunno." Booster tilted his head thoughtfully. "Probably not. I mean, officially he doesn't even exist."

"Batman gets a lot of mileage out of that urban legend thing, huh?"

"Yeah, but he misses all the best advertising opportunities . . ."

From behind them, Snippy made an irritated snorting sound and the heroes lapsed into silence for a few minutes.

Finally Beetle said, "You know . . . some people might argue that getting captured by pastel ponies isn't exactly a great example of our superheroic prowess."

"Yeah, well, some people are stupid," Booster Gold said crossly. (He'd just stubbed his toe.) "Didn't the original JLA nearly get ousted a starfish one time? I mean, a starfish! That's not even a vertebrate!"

"Mm," Beetle said doubtfully. "It was a space starfish, though. A giant space starfish. With mental powers and things."

"Well, so? It's not like these are normal ponies. They talk and have wings and magic and castles and . . . and pinkness and things." He gestured vaguely in Crunch Berry's direction, so absorbed in his thoughts that he failed to notice that she snapped at his yellow-gloved hand as he waved it under her nose. "Anyway, the original JLA had five members. There are only two of us, so I think we're doing pretty well. Heck, we're one of the best superteams around, not counting the JSA and the Titans and the Suicide Squad and the Doom Patrol--"

"And Justice League International?"

"We're part of the Justice League, so that doesn't make a difference."

"Ah. Two teams for the price of one."

"Uh huh. The JLI would do better if they'd let us work together more, though. J'onn keeps sending me on missions with Batman. Have you ever tried having a conversation with Batman? I think he's just got a recording under his cowl timed to repeat 'Hn', 'Grr', 'Stop that', and 'Booster, pay attention' at random intervals."

"Yeah, well, J'onn keeps sending me on recon missions with our resident Green Lantern," Beetle complained. "Who in their right mind uses Guy Gardner for reconnaissance anyway? His idea of subtlety is using a big green hammer on a villain's HQ instead of a big green chainsaw."

"If only they'd listen to us," Booster sighed. "We really do have the team concept down pat. We compliment each other."

"Well . . ." Beetle objected. "You did call me a jerk . . ."

"Not that kind of compliment, dummy."

"And just now you called me a dummy."

Booster rolled his eyes. "Now you're doing it on purpose." After a minute's reflection, he added, "Anyway, you called me all sorts of names. A 'time chauvinist'? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well . . ." Blue Beetle sounded embarrassed. "I don't know, it just came to me. You know--spur of the moment."

"Huh."

Pause.

"For the record, I don't really think you're obnoxious or overrated. And you're not that self-centered."

"Thanks . . . I think. You're only a jerk part of the time."

"Thanks Boost--hey!" The last remark was due to Snippy poking him in the back with her nose.

"You always talk this much?" she asked, eyeing him.

"At least this much," Booster confirmed.

"Well, stop it." She looked from one human to the other, eyes narrowed. Beetle's expression settled into one of disgruntlement and Booster frowned, but neither replied.

They continued on, at the ponies' promptings. For a while the only sound was the echoing hoofsteps of their guards prodding them onward. Eventually the empty corridor gave way to rows of dry, musty cells, formed by row on row of iron bars standing sentinel between slabs of stone. Most were empty, with their barred metal doors slid back, open. (Because the hallway was not wide, the doors were set on runners so they rolled back, parallel to the walls, instead of swinging outward on hinges.) Considering it was a dungeon, they were all amazingly, uniformly clean--dry and piled with clean hay in the corners. Nonetheless, the humans eyed the empty cells with a kind of nervous, understated horror. There was no good way to be imprisoned.

"Did you come up with a plan yet?" Booster whispered.

"Well . . . no. I think we're going to have to wing it," Beetle returned in a low, conspiritorial voice.

"So we just blunder through the situation, as per usual?"

"It's always gotten us through in one piece before--" Blue Beetle cut off abruptly as Crunch Berry picked up her pace and swung in front of him so quickly he nearly ran into her. "Hey, what gives?" he demanded, taking a cautious step backwards as he eyed the mauve pony now blocking his path.

"A scheduled stop on our little tour," she smirked at the heroes as they heard the creaking grind of metal against metal behind them. Beetle's eyes flicked backwards, then settled suspiciously on Crunch Berry again as he aimed an untrusting glare at her, but Booster Gold turned in time to see Snippy finish pulling back the door to an adjacent cell. He tensed.

"Ah . . . Beetle? This would be a really great time to surprise me by saying you have a plan after all--" His eyes were locked on the empty, ominous gap waiting between the sets of bars, and that proved to be his undoing . . . for as Booster stepped backwards, towards Blue Beetle, he didn't notice that Snippy had circled around behind him until he felt her head strike him in the back with surprising force, sending him stumbling forward into the waiting cell.

"Hey! Ow!" Booster lost his balance, but was more indignant than hurt as he sat up, shaking straw out of his hair. "Geez! Ever hear of excessive force?"

"Booster! Hey, are you okay?" Beetle hurried towards him, but Booster was already pushing himself to his feet.

"Fine, fine." He glanced down at his uniform, dusting himself off as he stepped forward. "I'm just--"

With a metallic screech, the iron door rattled back into place, and Booster suddenly found himself separated from Blue Beetle by some slightly rusty and very sturdy ironwork. It was hard to say whether Beetle or Booster looked more surprised by this turn of events as they stared at each other through the bars.

"Uh . . . hey." Booster blinked his blue eyes.

"Um . . . what just . . . ? I mean, shouldn't I be . . .? I didn't just get pardoned or something, did I?" Beetle looked just as confused as he looked from Booster to the ponies.

"Please." Crunch Berry snorted. "Don't delude yourself."

"But . . . then . . ." He cast a worried glance at Booster as Snippy shoved in front of him, forcing him to back away from the cell.

"What, you thought we'd put you both in the same cell so you could plot what to burn down next? How stupid do you think we are?" Crunch Berry said.

"We didn't mean to--we wouldn't--hey, leave him alone!" Booster gripped the bars, pulling at the door in the futile hope that the ponies had carelessly left it unlocked as Snippy pinned Beetle against the wall with her shoulder.

"I'm okay, Booster, I'm just--" Blue Beetle tried to twist away; the yellow pony casually leaned harder. "Damn, these little horses are strong," he muttered.

There was a quick, sharp crack as Snippy swung and belted him with a clout of her head. "That's ponies," she said as Blue Beetle folded neatly onto the floor, unconscious.

Booster's eyes widened in shock and horror. Crunch Berry's reaction was more casual.

"Oh, Great Rainbow . . . what did you have to go and do that for, Snippy?"

"Beetle?"

"He was going to act up. I could tell."

"Beetle?"

"But now we'll have to carry him," the mauve pony grumbled.

"Beetle? Ted? Beetle?"

Booster was working hard to keep the anxiety out of his voice, telling himself that the fact that Blue Beetle was lying in an apparent unconscious huddle on the smooth stone floor was simply a clever trick by the Azure Avenger. But it became harder to convince himself when Crunch Berry leaned down, grabbed a mouthful of Blue Beetle's costume, and flopped him bonelessly across Snippy's back.

"Hey--" Snippy scowled.

"You knocked him out, you carry him."

"Beetle??"

Crunch Berry finally turned to examine him through the bars. "They certainly are loud, aren't they, Snippy?"

"As far as I can tell they never shut up," the yellow pony confirmed. "We should have knocked them out to begin with."

"Listen you--you--you donkey! He'd better not be hurt or I'll . . . I'll . . ."

"Ah. Listen to the hero. I know what you'll do, human. You'll sit in your little cell." Snippy took a casual step towards the bars, carefully because of her load. Beetle's arms swung slightly, draped over her flank. "Although whether you could do anything effective even if you were free is questionable."

"Let me out of here and we'll see how effective I am, you stupid little horse!" Booster said hotly, rattling the bars, but she merely smirked and turned away, slowly striding down the hall with Blue Beetle draped over her back and Crunch Berry clip-clopping beside here. "HEY! I'm talking to you!" Booster shouted, moving to the edge of his cell so he could keep them in sight as long as he could as they moved down the narrow hall.

He shook the bars again as they finally turned a corner and moved out of sight. His stomach was twisting. Now what? He turned in a circle, hoping for inspiration, but the closely confined area only contained mounds of straw, one of which had a huddle of purple blanket draped wanly over it. He turned back to the door and threw his weight against it a few times before concluding that he would only gain a bruised shoulder if he persisted. The bars were too closely set to squeeze through. He turned in a circle again. This was bad. Really, really bad. He was trapped. He was alone. Beetle was out cold, being dragged who-knew-where. The only good thing Booster could think of, as he paced up and down his cell, was that stressed though he was, his stomach was too empty for him to vomit as he normally would have.

"Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. This is all . . . it's all J'onn's fault." Booster knew he was being unfair, but he was far beyond caring. "Him and his stupid oreos."

He pressed close to the bars again, staring down the hallway in the futile hope that Blue Beetle really had been doing a remarkable job of faking, and that he would trot down the hall in time to pop off a witty one-liner. Of course, the cell-lined hall remained empty.

"Damn it!" Booster swirled and aimed a vicious kick at the blanket-covered straw in the corner. Due to his momentum and the fact that the bundle of blanket proved surprisingly solid, he tripped forward over it as well, crashing painlessly in a stack of loose hay.

"Stupid . . . sprocking . . ." Booster pushed himself upright, as he spit out straw. "Not bad enough that I'm stuck here by myself, but then I have to . . . have to . . ."

He trailed away, staring at the shadow slowly creeping up the wall in front of him even as he heard the heavy shuffle of something large hefting to its full height behind him. As he heard the soft rustling of a blanket fluttering to the floor, he suddenly found himself wishing that he was stuck there by himself after all.