Green With Envy
Iggy Koopa kissed his reflection as he readied himself for his big date. "I'm glad you helped me talk Dad into letting me date Luigi, Lems."
The elder Koopa sat on his ball and watched as his brother walked over to the closet. "Uh yeah...about that. One...King Bowser isn't our dad, and two Wendy is the one who's going on a date with Luigi..."
"What was that? Sorry I couldn't hear you through all the clothes." Iggy mumbled as he tried to fix his green bow tie.
"Which raises the question as to why we have so many clothes, when we clearly don't wear any..." The cross-eyed brother wondered.
"Good question. Well when you have tons of money and nothing to spend it on, why not clothes?" Iggy rationed. "Now, do I look hot or not?"
The tall Koopaling truly looked no different than he had in any of the newer gaming franchises. His green hair style stood straight and tall, his nerdy glasses had an extra shine to them, and his shell spikes were waxed clean. The only new addition was a green standard tie sided with a white shirt collar. (The GameBoy Bunny look is really popular these days XD ...)
"Nice tie...and shirt collar..." Lemmy blinked. "But I think you're forgetting something..."
"Oh, right. Cologne. I wanna be fresh to death when I meet up with my handsome green beau." Iggy purred.
"Okay...all reasoning went out the window... So let's just go with it... Iggy, what about the fact that he's a rotten hero? He wouldn't wanna cause any mischief..." Lemmy added.
Iggy gave his brother an 'are you kidding me' look. "Really Lemmy? You know 'igi is super chill."
"'Igi?! You're giving him pet names?!"
"You mad bro?" Iggy smirked.
"No, just really confused. What has this world come to?" Lemmy shook his head.
"Its senses." Iggy giggled.
Suddenly the room door opened and the youngest brother of the family stood in their wake. "Uh, Iggy. Ludwig needs your help with an experiment... Why are you wearing a tie?" Little Bowser Jr. asked.
"Because I'm going out on a hot date."
"Ha, looking like a hot mess? Don't think so brother." A snobby voice rang from the hall.
"Get a life, Wendy!" The three brothers chorused.
The Koopa girl huffed and sauntered to her room down the hall.
"So who's the lucky girl?" Bowser Jr pried.
"Not a girl, remember?" Lemmy reminded him.
"Right, Iggy likes boys... I forgot... Sorry."
"It's fine, Junior. Maybe one day when you grow up to be as cool as me, you'll understand."
This made the little Koopa choke with laughter. "What's there to understand? You like boys, so everything's chill. As long as you don't like one of those Mario Bros." With that the tot hopped along down the hall, back to the laboratory.
"Uh...I thought you said Dad was all chill about it?" Iggy glowered accusingly at his brother.
"I did!" Lemmy shrugged. "I never said I told the rest of the family. Besides, the others should be fine with Luigi...not Mario though...so don't be into him yet until we come to some kind of agreement..."
Iggy rolled his eyes and adjusted his tie. "Don't worry, my sights are all on that tall, green glass of water. And that's all I need to quench my thirst."
Lemmy shuddered at the thought of his favorite brother and his best frienemy.
Luigi took off his hat and ran his hands through his hair. Getting over the last of his nervous jitters, he finally came to terms and knocked on the huge wooden door.
There was a moment of silence before the giant wooden door began to fall forward. The green clad hero jumped completely surprised, before sprinting out of the way.
He peeped around the corner finding an unamused Kamek staring back at him. "You're early..." He muttered.
"Uh... Yes sir, as a hero I am required to be as punctual as possible... Did you just try to crush me with this door?"
"Come along, Master Iggy is waiting for you." Kamek croaked as he began to walk away.
"Uh, Iggy? I'm sorry. I thought I was going out with Wendy?" Luigi explained trying to catch up to the elderly Koopa.
Kamek did not look back as he slugged along. "I was under the impression that, Master Iggy was to be dating you...disgusting Mario Brother... He has been preparing all afternoon for this evening..."
"Come again?" Luigi's question was not answered as King Bowser himself stood in the doorway of the living room, blocking their path.
"Sire, Luigi wishes to pass through so he may join your child for their romantic evening." Kamek snickered.
The king looked back at Luigi before nodding. "Oh, right. Of course. Wendy has told me all about how you've become such great friends..."
"And you're okay with me dating your daughter?" Luigi gulped.
"Them kids ain't mine. I got them tested specifically for that reason." Bowser murmured. "Anyway, before I can let you through to the girl, what's the deal? Is we cool? Last chapter, the whole deal with me and Mario...that set us straight. But me and you? That depends..."
Luigi gulped. "Well if I am to have a stable relationship with your daughter, we are going to have to be civil."
"Yeah, yeah. I get that, but is there going to be any future hanging out? I'm not saying you're one of the bros-"
"I kinda am..."
"You know what I mean, we gotta figure out how we are gonna work. I can't be there for Mario if I'm not for the green sidekick..."
Luigi nodded. "I think I get it now. Well you were right when you said it depended...on..." The green hero's jaw hit the floor when he saw Wendy Koopa make an appearance by the stairs. She was dressed in a floor-length pink dress made of a soft sparkling fabric. Her bow was replaced with a brown colored wig fashioned into a bob. Her makeup was done perfectly -probably Sent from my iPhone
Before she could take a single step down in her brand new pair of Go Getter Girl -designed by Delia Tides- heels, Iggy shoved the Koopaling down the final steps trying to approach Luigi. "Oh, you look absolutely stunning, Luigi! I can't believe you dolled up for me!" Iggy blushed brightly and looked down at himself. "If I knew you were going to be this handsome, I would've put on some shoes...and maybe a shirt. Well as they say, 'no shoes no shirt and I still get service!'" The scientist locked arms with the hero, who was still in complete shock of Wendy's look. Leading him towards the living room exit, an angry snarl...scream...or whatever came calling after them. "IGGY! I KEEP TELLING YOU! LUIGI. IS. MINE!"
The young Koopaling was already ready for the strike coming towards him. A golden ring flew past his head as he whipped out his scepter. "Alright, sis! I'm tired of you thinking you can just come into my life and steal my man! THE CLAWS ARE COMING OUT!"
Kamek and Bowser exchanged looks before taking cover behind their twelve-seater couch.
As Wendy and Iggy 'got into it', Luigi decided its be best to take cover as well, before Roy and Larry came down the stairwell. "What's all the noise?! I was in the middle of giving Larry his seven twenty-two beat down!"
"And I was getting ready for Ludwig to come to my rescue at seven twenty-eight after all my attempts failed!" Larry sighed.
As soon as his name was mentioned, said older brother blipped out of thin air behind the two. "What the...now she's messing with the laws of physics." The blue haired genius growled. "Raphadelia, I demand that you make my appearance in a more logical than illogical manner!" He growled.
Silence rung in the air, making Ludwig growl with aggravation. "I got her when this story is over...just wait until I get a pairing! It'll be just like 'My Little Freakshow' all over again!"
"Bowser getting tranquilized?" Larry asked.
"Mario and Peach shopping?" Roy put in.
"Antasma dressing up like Peach?" Bowser tried.
"No!" Ludwig snapped. "A rebellion against the pairing! I will be just like Twilight and refuse to be shipped with whomever!" He let out a heavy sigh before turning to Iggy and Wendy. The two siblings were impatiently glaring at their Koopa counterparts.
"Are you done?" Wendy snapped.
"Because we got a show to run!" Iggy snarled.
"Right, now what's my line..." Ludwig tapped his temple before receiving his answer. "Oh. Uh, 'what's with all the commotion? I can't focus on my Koopa Symphanies'."
"That was too much like a robot." Luigi commented from his hiding spot. "You gotta put some feeling in it. Some oomph!"
Iggy dreamily swayed as he listened to Luigi's wisdom. "You're soooo smart, 'igi... And hot!"
Luigi smiled bashfully. "I know."
Wendy turned a fierce shade of red and attacked her brother once again. "HOW DARE YOU COMPLIMENT MY MAN, YOU BACK-STABBING- RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
Luigi winced and began backing away from the scene before him, freezing when he backed into Morton. "Where do you think you're going, walking out on my brother! I'll have you know Iggy is like my bestest and favoritest brother I have, and no one is gonna leave him sad and lonely! Do I have to pound that into your scrawny head, Luigi?! DO I?! Well nah, friends talk about these kind of things, so I guess we could talk it out-..."
As Morton drew on, so had the night, the rivalry between siblings would go on as long as Luigi was a jewel in their eyes. Iggy who had loved Luigi from the jump, but Wendy who fanned over him since the dawn of time -so they claimed anyway- and Luigi being the object they so desired. With the fighting going on, their family was forced to watch or attempt to pull them apart from each other's throats.
Vivian and Junior walked into the living room, jaws dropped as the sibling smack down continued. "What's going on here?!" Junior shouted over the yelling.
Everyone froze at the appearance of Vivian in their castle.
"Oh, hahaheeeeeeyyy... Veronica-"
"Vivian, sire." Kamek corrected Bowser.
"Yeah, whatever. We're just having a little family dispute, nothing that can't be resolved with love and uh...k-kindness..." The terrible king forced himself to show a genuine smile, that looked more like a constipated grimace.
Vivian blinked and cocked her head at Wendy and Iggy, who were tangled up in each other from their altercation.
"Oh them?" Bowser leapt over the couch and yanked Iggy away from Wendy. "Iggy was just agreeing to staying locked away in his room for the rest of this month, because he's grounded for ruining his sister's life."
"Wait what?! THAT'S NOT FAIR! I LOVED LUIGI FIRST!" Iggy shrieked fought to free himself from Bowser's rough grip.
"Too bad!" Bowser hissed. "Your sister is ugly enough as it is! You know it'll be hard for her to find someone!"
Iggy folded his arms and slumped in Bowser's grasp. "FINE! I'LL DO IT YOUR WAY!" He wailed.
Wendy smirked and dusted herself off. "You see Vivian our family isn't totally dysfunctional and evil... We have changed just for Junior! Now come on, babe!" Wendy giggled and called to Luigi. "Babe?"
Unfortunately, 'babe' was no where to be found. Instead Morton was standing the only one around his old hiding spot with crumbs all around his muzzle.
Wendy put two and two together, her eyes burning with rage. "YOU OVERSIZED COW! YOU ATE HIM!"
Alright, so she's not good at putting two and two together... I never said she was a math genius...
Morton slapped his tail on the ground angrily as he snatched Wendy's hair piece off of her head. "I DIDN'T EAT ANYONE, BALDY!"
Wendy gasped and tried to cover her bald spots. "MORTON! HOW COULD YOU?! NOW EVERYONE KNOWS I'M BALD!"
"News flash sister, everyone already knew dat!" Roy laughed.
Wendy turned deep red and threw a fit. "GREAT, I'VE LOST 'IGI! MY HAIR! YOU KNOW WHAT! I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A BROTHER TOO!" She reared up for another attack on Iggy, when Bowser grabbed her by the tail. "Alright you two! You're both officially grounded! No, I don't wanna hear it! Until you can make up, I don't wanna hear a 'can I go to the mall, Dad?' Or a 'can I go to the nerd meeting' or whatever, because for the next few weeks you'll be up in the WESTERN PRISON TOWERS! NOW MARCH!"
The two middle siblings cried as they trailed up to the top floor where the tower stairwells were located.
"This is all your fault, you ugly Betty!" Iggy sniffled.
"I hate you too, Twiggy!" Wendy snapped back.
Insults flew back and forth between the two, until finally they reached the top of the Western Prison Tower. It was dark and very high off the ground, and it wasn't a surprise that Iggy was afraid of the height.
He took a huge breath intake when he looked out of the only window, showing off the volcanic atmosphere. The green haired Koopaling fell to the ground and instinctively hugged his knees, rocking back and forth.
"What's wrong with you, you nutzo?!" Wendy snapped as she tried to get comfortable in her area.
"Like you'd care! All you do is ruin stuff for me! What kind of big sister does that?!" Iggy shot back.
Wendy didn't reply as she pulled out a nail filer and began to work at her manicure that took nearly two days to complete.
Iggy's eyes watered as tried not to think about an instant death if he were to begin his sleep walking habit and tumble out of the window. He hid his face, when he heard a shuffle of movement beyond him, but he never anticipated a clawed hand to pat him softly on the shell. "Hey, Iggy... I'm sorry I called you Twiggy...and a clepto even though I don't know what that is... And then I called you a pyro...and I kinda know what that is...and then I called you nerdy...and kinda stupid... But you're actually kinda smart..."
"Thanks?" Iggy looked up at his sister and wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry I called you Ugly Betty. And Mrs. Piggy. And a two-cent gutter slu-"
"Yeah, let's not go through your insults." Wendy harshly cut him off. "I get it, you're sorry..." Her gaze softened as she stroked the side of her younger brother's face, ridding of the last of his tears. "You know... When Raph does that KoopalingXKoopaling request...you think we should-"
"Now you're just being weird." Iggy cut his sister off this time.
The two laughed and hugged each other. "Now," Wendy smiled and helped her brother to his feet, "I think we should settle our dispute and say you can have 'igi..."
"Nah, you deserve him way more, sis-"
"Okay, see ya Iggy. Love ya lil bro." She sauntered out of the tower and down the stairwell.
"Wait! WENDY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"
"King Daddy wouldn't really ground his only girl, I'll just go give him 'the look' and he'll set me free. All I needed was for you to give me rights to my man!" She laughed deviously and shut the door behind her, a clicking sound following.
"What?!" Iggy raced up to the door and banged on it as hard as he could. "WEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
